What is an acceptable age gap in dating?

[mass1926]

I recently met this girl who is 21 years old and we have been contacting one another semi-frequently. I really like her and would like to possibly begin dating her, but i dunno, I'm 27 and I feel like that's just too much of an age gap. It sucks because the older you get the harder and less likely it is to meet someone your own age that isnt either in a relationship or married. At the very least they are divorced already or have kids as you approach your 30's.

I am starting to feel like it's getting to the point where people consider it somewhat creepy for a guy in his late 20's to date a girl around 20-22 years old, and to be honest, most girls that are that age seem really young to me and I realize I probably have nothing in common with them. I'm long past the heavy drinking, clubbing, bar hopping and so on, and most girls that young are still well into that scene. Even if we aren't that different, all her friends are like 5 or 6 years younger than me. Hanging out with her or going to parties with her and her friends would be like a trip back in time. Im 27, I'd look a bit ridiculous hanging out with kids that are still shotgunning beers and playing flip cup on friday nights.

I have heard of this age gap rule (half your age + 7) is supposed to determine the youngest girl you can date, but that doesnt make much sense because that rule says a 40 year old dude could date a 27 year old girl and it wouldnt be a big age difference. Just wondering how other people feel about what is a good age difference? Not just for the sake of worrying that dating someone way younger may look pathetic on behalf of the older person, but also figuring how maturity levels would differ as well. I'm hoping to hear from people that may have dealt with experiences such as this before and how it turned out for them.

 

[kered]

I have heard that the rule at least for guys is half your age plus seven.

 

[xionking]

I don't think it's creepy. Maturity levels in our 20s vary from person to person, in a massive way. My gf is 26, I'm 23. It's not the same thing, but fuck she seems like she's 18 sometimes. And I bet she sometimes thinks the same about me.

But to answer your question, I'd probably agree with Kered.

 

[mass1926]

I don't think it's creepy. Maturity levels in our 20s vary from person to person, in a massive way. My gf is 26, I'm 23. It's not the same thing, but fuck she seems like she's 18 sometimes. And I bet she sometimes thinks the same about me.

But to answer your question, I'd probably agree with Kered.

I dated a girl 3 years younger once. That wasnt a problem because we were both still late teens and very early 20's at the time. But, when I was 24 and ready to grow up, she was just 21 and starting to enjoy the freedom to drink and go clubbing. That is when it fell apart and ended. I see that being a very likely turnout when you date a girl in her very early 20's. I'm sure age difference matters less once both people are more grown up, but getting to that "grown up" point has to occur for both people first or else it can't work out.

 

[xionking]

I dated a girl 3 years younger once. That wasnt a problem because we were both still late teens and very early 20's at the time. But, when I was 24 and ready to grow up, she was just 21 and starting to enjoy the freedom to drink and go clubbing. That is when it fell apart and ended. I see that being a very likely turnout when you date a girl in her very early 20's. I'm sure age difference matters less once both people are more grown up, but getting to that "grown up" point has to occur for both people first or else it can't work out.

Yeah, that's pretty young though. Like the drinking and clubbing thing, that comes with the territory of being 18 to 21 (well over here at least where legal age is 18). I never thought I'd never get over it, but ya do...at a little bit at the least.

And anyway, mass1926, we all got a little bit of youth inside us. There's no harm in bringing that out once in a while...even if you are really 84.

 

[mass1926]

And anyway, mass1926, we all got a little bit of youth inside us. There's no harm in bringing that out once in a while...even if you are really 84.[/QUOTE]

84? Im 27 bro. 1926 are just random numbers i used, my b-day is 10/26/1982 so i used to 26 and the 19 cuz i used to have another name mass1982 and mass1026 before and forgot my passwords so i made a new name.

 

[maniactickler]

Age doesnt mean squat to me as far as short term dating or friendship. im 44, and id glady date an 18 year old. but if it was anything serious, then id most likely want a woman over 30.

 

[venray]

My wife is 16 years younger than I am....

 

[Angel77]

Age doesn't mean anything to me. I was in a long term relationship with a guy almost ten years older and it was great. We ended it due to him moving for his job and I had to stay here for personal reasons and the long term thing didn't work. But yeah, I do have a tendency to like older men. Or maybe I just don't exclude them out of the picture, I don't know. But hell, I'd go out on a date with a 55 year old if he asked me to and I'm 32. Wouldn't phase me a bit. 🙂

Older men can be very, very sexy.

 

[kis123]

I won't go as far as to say age means nothing because it means something to me.......a lot. But I don't expect people to subscribe to my opinions if it doesn't fit their world.

I've always dated older men and that's worked for me. But at my age (47) I thought it would be more appropriate to date guys my age........let's just say that there was a reason I didn't date them when I was younger and it hasn't changed a bit now. The gentleman I'm talking to at present will be 63 next week and he has more youth and energy than I've seen in a long time from any age group. He so far is turning out to the the yang to my yin; I'm so comfortable with him in such a short time, it's almost scary. But I digress..........

If you are getting along and things are moving in the positive, then obviously it's a good age for you. What works/doesn't for me doesn't mean it won't work for someone else. Enjoy what you have with the young lady and see what happens. As far as her friends are concerned, hanging out with them once in awhile is tolerable but not too much. It's about you and her anyway, not her friends.

Hope it works out well for you both.

 

[Angel77]

I won't go as far as to say age means nothing because it means something to me.......a lot. But I don't expect people to subscribe to my opinions if it doesn't fit their world.

I've always dated older men and that's worked for me. But at my age (47) I thought it would be more appropriate to date guys my age........let's just say that there was a reason I didn't date them when I was younger and it hasn't changed a bit now. The gentleman I'm talking to at present will be 63 next week and he has more youth and energy than I've seen in a long time from any age group. He so far is turning out to the the yang to my yin; I'm so comfortable with him in such a short time, it's almost scary. But I digress..........

If you are getting along and things are moving in the positive, then obviously it's a good age for you. What works/doesn't for me doesn't mean it won't work for someone else. Enjoy what you have with the young lady and see what happens. As far as her friends are concerned, hanging out with them once in awhile is tolerable but not too much. It's about you and her anyway, not her friends.

Hope it works out well for you both.

Couldn't have said it better myself! And best of luck to you in your situation!

 

[kis123]

Couldn't have said it better myself! And best of luck to you in your situation!

Thanks!

**fingers crossed, rabbit's foot in pocket, four leaf clover, and all the good luck symbols in place**😀

 

[TonyTheTongue]

Whether one likes it or not, acceptable "dating" age is when she's bleeding.

What's creepier than being judged creepy are the reasons for the judgment. Date a 16 year old if you'd like... the creepiness label is most likely from women that aren't as pursued and/or from men who were sterile during their sexual peaks. But do beware of the lack of experience or immaturity from younger ladies. They also bring an innocence and naive presence that makes for a good time.

I was 26 when I first acted on an interest in younger women (27 now). There were two particular (a 17 and 18 year old) interns at my work that I pursued during my down time from patients. One was incredibly good looking and the other was stimulating in conversation. Social Services/Mental Health is the line of work we're in... so a context was given due to mutual interests outside of sex. We connected through the content and by their interests for experiences guys their age can't generate.

An interesting thing about that particular place of employment was most of its employees are women... and I could see the scoffs in their eyes, the resentment in their looks, and the perverse interest in their smirks (these coming from the older women that are aware and still sexually confident, I suppose). Acceptable and Unacceptable are just matters of opinions projected through experience and/or neurotic thoughts. Anything done differently will be put under a microscope, fella.

Maybe this girl doesn't like shotgunning beers or playing flip cup on Friday nights like you think. Maybe she's with you because she wants more experience... like shotgun orgasms and flippy finger zinc foods to replenish her sexual energy... or whatever it may be. The way you're going about it by putting her life ahead of yours makes you sound just as blah as the beer shotgunners and flip cuppers. She's with you to get away from that sort of nonsense while you are taking her to it.

You being an older gent following her lead will definitely make you look silly in the eyes of her young friends (guy friends that want her, especially) because you're suppose to have more to offer. So, ask yourself if it's acceptable or unacceptable to date somebody who wants more experience and quality of life and if you can fulfill that need. Can you accompany her to a Friday night flip cup party and contribute stuff to heighten the experience.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

As long as both parties are of legal age, I don't think it makes a difference...at least not in relation to being proper/acceptable/etc.

The only concern I would have with a larger age difference is that one partner would be likely to get seriously ill or pass well before the other. However, that isn't a given either. My dad was 11 years older than my mom. She's been gone over two years and he's still very healthy aside from some artheritis.

Actually, I suppose another potential issue would be one partner reaching retirement age long before the other and not necessarily being able to enjoy it as much with the constraints of the partner still working.

But, with just dating...? I don't think it matters that much. And your 6 year age difference is minimal.

 

[Musicroxmysox]

Age is not so important as connection. If you can't find people to connect with then that is a problem.

Dating someone who is 21 for you may seem like a gap but 6 years, is really not that much.It sounds like instead of worrying about age, you should be looking for someone who intellectually matches you no matter what age that is. If you would like to date someone younger you've got to find the non partying 21 year old people. (They exist, trust me I know, I'm 22 and partying is so not in my vocab and I have a few friends who think likewise.) It's not gonna be easy, but no one ever said dating was.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I would never say that age means NOTHING to me. It's not a deal-breaker, but I'm 24 and I cannot see myself on the arm of a 50 year old man. Personally, I prefer guys a little older than I am. I always have. I've never dated anyone less than 4 years older than I am. I have little to no romantic interest in anybody under 28 or 29, and I would probably date someone up to 36 or 37.

Everyone is going to be comfortable with different age gaps. Some people are happy to be with someone twice their age. Some people won't go outside of a 2 or 3 year difference. My personal opinion is that 27 and 21 is a perfectly acceptable gap -- six years is nothin' 🙂 Besides, I know 21 year olds who are FAR more grown up, mature and loyal than people in their 30s. It's all about the individual and his/her experiences -- not age.

 

[Dave Pavet]

If it's just tickling who cares what age? As long as it's legal age! What is legal age? 13 or older? Only kidding!!! If you are a female 18 or older contact me for some boring conversation but awesome tickle torture! As long as you can smell good from the ankles up, it's all good!

 

[Filthyweasel]

People say 'you're only as old as you feel.' I would say you're only as old as you act. I've dated a girl 10 years older than me, 5 years younger, my only long-term relationship was with a girl 9 years younger, which ended nearly 2 years back. I'm 31 and I'm talking to a girl that's 26. That's largely seen as acceptable, but I've never judged any age gap (apart from Anna Nicole, as that was just a blatant attempt to get the guy's money when he died). As long as both parties are physically and mentally mature, not to mention legal, then there should be no problem. Long term, the age difference can be bad, but only between the two of you, where it belongs. Especially if the partner is young enough to be in college or just out of it and you are about 5 years older. Many college kids develop an aloof, super-intellectual attitude, not yet realizing that there's more wisdom and common sense yet to develop over simply the book-smarts they gained over the last 4 or so years. It's draining when you have a partner who insists they are always right in any kind of intellectual discussion, whether they studied the subject or not. If you're the older person by more than 5 years it can lead to arguments and tension at times.

 

[Mister Scruff]

I don't think there is an "acceptable age-gap" when it comes to dating. Age isn't a factor at all; if you're both happy, fuck what anyone else says or thinks and just be happy.

There are always going to be people who want to piss on whatever you do for their own stupid reasons (and in the case of seeing someone younger than yourself it's usually born from envy of the fact that you're seeing someone younger than yourself); thing is, their opinions are THEIR opinions, and they're only a problem if you allow them to be a problem.


Besides which, she's 21 and you're 27. That would barely qualify as an age-gap in most people's books.

 

[milagros317]

If you are both 18 or older and both want to be together, then to hell with any age gap. Just be together.

 

[Artoo]

Rule of Seven.

Besides which, she's 21 and you're 27. That would barely qualify as an age-gap in most people's books.

This. My mum and dad got married at these respective ages. To each other, no less.

 

[kered]

Older men can be very, very sexy.

So very, very true.

 

[tickledorange]

Who knows what the acceptable age gap is. I have a friend who is 25 and just married a 44 year old woman. Her daughter and him are almost the same age. They get along just fine and they are happy (after 3 years together), so it's hard to say what's acceptable sometimes.

 

[Lord Doctor]

There's usually about 5-20 years difference between married couples. At least those I've come across working for 6 years in a supermarket.

 

[Angel77]

So very, very true.

Hello there! How YOU doin? 😛