What Makes You Notice Another Member?

[BellaRisa]

There have been 'clique' accusations on this forum for awhile now, and I've occasionally seen them on other forums of mine as well. One main bone of contention with those who consider themselves to be outsiders is that they feel their posts are ignored and left to languish by the Cliquers, and followers of the Clique. While I don't believe that's the case, it does give me pause for thought about what makes us want to read and respond to another's posts. I don't think it's truly a popularity contest, frankly if a friend of mine posts something that looks boring or doesn't seem to pertain to me I'm likely to pass it over no matter how close we are. I tend to actually engage in a thread if it's interesting and/or funny or has something to do with me (a munch in my area, for instance), and if that poster is constantly entertaining and witty I'll begin to look forward to their posts. I remember enjoying Amnesiac's posts for years before any of us had ever met him, because he had something to say even if I didn't always agree, and I feel that way about several members I have yet to meet...

What makes you notice other members, *before* you've met them and know them personally?

 

[Canadian_Eh]

For me I tend to look for Posters who actually have something to say and aren't just trolling the forums looking to put their two cents in, whether it's waranted or not.

 

[Artoo]

I don't notice people, they notice me! 😉

In all seriousness, though; an eye-catching signature, a unique style of writing, and a personality that shines through on-screen are things which make me raise my cyber-eyebrows at various users.
There are a lot of users on here who might be lovely people, but their posts might have no character, and until I get to know them in some other context, I would pay them no heed. Some people are good at grabbing people's attention, some are not - and unfortunately for those that aren't, people are fickle and look for things that don't take too much work on their part.

 

[Raytheon]

I'm throughly ignorable and my posts are as wooden as a piece of paper! lol
I try to read everyones input because that is what id like to think others would do for me. I reply my threads how id reply to you in person. Which makes me rude, ignorant, funny and sometimes racist towards children. hehe

As someone whos pretty new here i can sum up the way i feel about this whole fiasco: I TRY.

Thanks everyone 🙂
Ray

 

[Deusxlionxx]

I sort of felt the same way, which was why I spent so long simply reading posts, rather than giving my two cents.

Ive actually come to learn the mistakes from that sort of viewpoint - there is a closeness between certain folks here because they've taken the time to get to know eachother outside of an occasional digital conversation. Friends take time to learn about and to get to know, which is why Im getting involved as much as I can.

Its really the only way for people to get to know you - practice!

 

[Sandrock74]

I gravitate to my fellow nerds. I know it sounds corny, but I do. After that, funny people like Artoo...I like to be amused. I never give too much thought about what someone looks like or anything (heck, I thought PurrBast was a dude for a couple of months), mainly based on a common interest/entertainment factor.

 

[c7_assassin]

I don't notice people, they notice me! 😉

In all seriousness, though; an eye-catching signature, a unique style of writing, and a personality that shines through on-screen are things which make me raise my cyber-eyebrows at various users.
There are a lot of users on here who might be lovely people, but their posts might have no character, and until I get to know them in some other context, I would pay them no heed. Some people are good at grabbing people's attention, some are not - and unfortunately for those that aren't, people are fickle and look for things that don't take too much work on their part.

This. Well said.

Also, BEWBS.

 

[sasaxrah]

I can notice people in a positive or negative light...

Positive light: A funny signature. Witty posts. People who post their thoughts honestly without insulting. People who say "that's what she said" a lot.

Negative light: Insults. A general disregard for social etiquette. Holier-than-thou attitudes. General creepiness. I tend to ignore these posters not because I am part of a clique, but because I don't want to give them any attention.

 

[kered]

I respond best to a good sense of humor and the way a person expresses themself. It doesn't matter to me if someone starts a thread that goes on forever or dies a quiet death.....like a lot of mine do. Many of my threads get buried without much response. So if someone puts themself out there and it is funny or interesting to me I gladly join in, but if the person repeatedly tries to show some type of superiority, misrepresents themselves, or types something merely to be hurtful just to get a reaction (I'm not talking about friends having fun trash talking or poking a little fun at each other) then I won't bother with them. I notice them, of course, but won't interact with them.

So basically I agree with Sasaxrah except she explains stuff better.

 

[Brock Samson]

As a slightly unknown individual, I can shed some light.

I spent much of my early forum life watching and lurking. Couple of years ago, I started posting. I don't seek approval, just an outlet for what I have to say. I've met several very cool people, and some cooky ones too! I personally couldn't care less whether or not someone reads and/or responds to what I say. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful when people do. It let's me know that someone somewhere kinda sorta has the same twisted transistors sparkin up in their heads as I do! It's just not a necessity. I mean, if you all put me on ignore, I'd still post just to see my awesome sig!
Approval shouldn't be what is sought after here. But don't feel left out because you gets no response every time you post. It happens to everyone, until you become a known unknown, which leads you to becoming a known known. We are here to laugh and have fun...and occasionally, to make fun of each other! Just be you....unless your a prick, then you have to be exceedingly funny. Cuz pricks are very irksome, but funny pricks are hilarious!

 

[Gothika]

i notice there personality what they post

 

[milagros317]

What makes you notice other members, *before* you've met them and know them personally?

I immediately notice people who comment on my stories, who write F/m stories themselves, or who often comment on F/m stories.

I notice people who frequent the Silly Stuff Forum, obviously.

I notice people who post lots of images.

The above are all positive. I notice in a negative way people who insist that everybody in the world who doesn't agree with their political views is either evil or stupid.

 

[50greg]

I'm attracted to people who write well. Those who do not, I tend to ignore, no matter what they're discussing.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Everything Sasaxrah said is spot on.

I mostly notice people with sigs or screennames that stand out (hi poopies LOL) or people who always piss me off, or always make me laugh.

 

[emilyemilyemily]

I'm attracted to people who write well. Those who do not, I tend to ignore, no matter what they're discussing.

this is a big one.

 

[badreligion]

I'm attracted to people who write well. Those who do not, I tend to ignore, no matter what they're discussing.

That is a bit shallow .

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

That is a bit shallow .

I disagree. It's extremely difficult to read when someone doesn't use ANY punctuation or at least try to use proper spelling and grammar. I've skipped over my fair share of posts by people who I know to ramble incoherently or use their own version of the English language that I'm unable to decipher.

 

[badreligion]

I can understand skipping over posts but to not get to know someone simply based on how they type is shallow .

 

[poopies]

i completyely agree wtih all the peeple saying that they looks sfor good grammers and stuff because its not fun trhying to decipher what peopel are r tyrig to say when they can't use propar grammer or punktuation and i usully just ignor those posts because it semms lik they not even make effort you know lol stfu asl?

Yeah. An attempt at good grammar is a must.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

I notice how people respond to threads, if what they're saying adds to the thread or if they're only posting to draw attention to themselves and cause problems.

I notice what kinds of threads they respond, particularly the Silly Section. If you can be silly, then you're probably someone I want to know.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I can understand skipping over posts but to not get to know someone simply based on how they type is shallow .

I don't think anyone here is saying, "I refuse to be friends with so-and-so because he confuses there, their and they're!" (although that does drive me CRAZY), but if someone isn't going to make an effort to make their posts legible, why should I make an extra effort to get to know them?

 

[Filthyweasel]

I expect to be pretty much ignored for quite a while, I don't mind and don't think it's at all 'cliquey'. If you've got a group of people who know each other pretty well and someone new suddenly comes in, they're not going to treat him the same. Not badly, but not the same. Gotta warm up to people, just like real life. Hell, last week I gave a shot at starting a thread in the silly forum and it was totally ignored. I thought I'd try, but still expected that and shrugged it, I delurked like the day before. I like to write and I've been thinking of posting in the story section. Haven't done a tickle story in a long time.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I expect to be pretty much ignored for quite a while, I don't mind and don't think it's at all 'cliquey'. If you've got a group of people who know each other pretty well and someone new suddenly comes in, they're not going to treat him the same. Not badly, but not the same. Gotta warm up to people, just like real life. Hell, last week I gave a shot at starting a thread in the silly forum and it was totally ignored. I thought I'd try, but still expected that and shrugged it, I delurked like the day before. I like to write and I've been thinking of posting in the story section. Haven't done a tickle story in a long time.

I noticed you around lately 🙂

 

[badreligion]

I don't think anyone here is saying, "I refuse to be friends with so-and-so because he confuses there, their and they're!" (although that does drive me CRAZY), but if someone isn't going to make an effort to make their posts legible, why should I make an extra effort to get to know them?

Because for all you know you could have everything in common with them and they could become a great friend . But since you wrote them off and passed judgement on them simply because of something superficial as grammer you would never know , to me that just seems shallow .

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Because for all you know you could have everything in common with them and they could become a great friend . But since you wrote them off and passed judgement on them simply because of something superficial as grammer you would never know , to me that just seems shallow .

I don't write them off. If I meet them in person I'm not gonna say, "Oh there goes that guy with bad grammar - shhuuuuuunnnnnnn!!" I'm happy to be friends with anyone regardless of grammatical abilities. I'm just not gonna make any extra effort to get to know them more than I would anyone else. That's not shallowness, it's consistency.