what would you do in such dilemma

[hlkkln]

Dominants DO dominate - but it is just a game! And every sub has limits. The dom cannot read thoughts, so the sub gets a safeword. And if that safeword is called, the dom has to pause and check what is going on. If the sub wants the session to end, it ends, no matter what the dom might want in that moment. The minute the dom ignores this, he is crossing borders that he is not supposed to cross. Being dominant doesn't mean you can do whatever you want!

And believe me: most subs won't even safeword because they can't take the tickling anymore, they will safeword because something is wrong. Because they are in pain, feeling dizzy, need to breath. I didn't safeword once during my last session.

My favorite games are ones played on board like chess or scrubble not ones played in bedroom...

Dont worry i m not a tickling monster and believe the necessity of safewords because i feel the full responsibility of the tied sub and behave accordingly... but if there is a relation d/s exists the dom has to keep full authority... and the sub should remember always that she can express her situation and preferences and.give signals but it is up to who dominates...
Just this...

 

[rhiannon]

and the sub should remember always that she can express her situation and preferences and.give signals but it is up to who dominates...

Still....if the dom does something against the will of the sub, he can get himself in trouble. What do you think happens in a professional dungeon if the sub safewords and the dom decides not to respect it?

 

[hlkkln]

Those beggings are part of the game and don't mean the dom has to stop! It's different with the safeword.

They were ordinary girls we did not have safeword

 

[rhiannon]

They were ordinary girls we did not have safeword

Stupid thing to do! I suggested that to my ler and he didn't want to do it, because he was afraid he would not realize when I really couldn't handle anymore. THAT is how a true, real dom should be.

 

[hlkkln]

Stupid thing to do! I suggested that to my ler and he didn't want to do it, because he was afraid he would not realize when I really couldn't handle anymore. THAT is how a true, real dom should be.

We are not in real and true relations i just dominate we do not have constitution for it... it is not.constitutional dominaton ...we are living in my absolute domination

 

[rhiannon]

We are not in real and true relations i just dominate we do not have constitution for it... it is not.constitutional dominaton ...we are living in my absolute domination

I will answer this whenever I understood what it means. Which means probably never.

 

[hlkkln]

I will answer this whenever I understood what it means. Which means probably never.

Absolute monarchy vs constitutional monarchy


Absolute domination vs constitutional domination

May be you got it now

 

[rhiannon]

Yeah well....we all know what happened to the last absolute monarchs......

 

[hlkkln]

Yeah well....we all know what happened to the last absolute monarchs......

Long lived ... much longer than the republics of our era

For me no need for long time... it is better to dominate short time than to dominate by obeying subs

 

[rhiannon]

Well....as long as you are respectful and know when you need to stop, I guess there is no problem. If you don't, you will find yourself without people to dominate!

 

[hlkkln]

Well....as long as you are respectful and know when you need to stop, I guess there is no problem. If you don't, you will find yourself without people to dominate!

Since nobody died from gigling in my hand i know when to stop... dont worry

 

[rhiannon]

Dying is not the only thing that can happen - but I'm sure you know that!

 

[daturaskiss]

Definitely take the gag off for a minute, just to check. It's the right thing to do.

 

[hlkkln]

Well....as long as you are respectful and know when you need to stop, I guess there is no problem. If you don't, you will find yourself without people to dominate!

Indeed my tickling adventures have already terminated because i got married and i did not chose according to tickling fantasies...

But let me tell you what was my style or method... when i was with a young women in bed (honestly it was more often with an Escort girl) i ask if she want to get a prize or a gift at the end of a challenge or bid if she successful. .. the answer is of course yes... then i tell the rules: if i would try to tie her down and if she would be free at the end of 20 minutes she will get the prize or the gift (generally some extra fee) but if i would be able to tie her her wrists and ancles she would be tickled during 30 minutes. I never promised mercy...
Answers were sometimes affirmative sometimes negative but i have never had to give that extra fee or gift because i was always successful

So i knew wery well that she suffered truly and both of us knew that she was solely submitted to my mercy... these were indispensable for my pleasure... moreover tying a nice girl despite her squirming and struggling with tooth and nail was also priceless
But on the other hand i did not kidnap or drug anybody to tie down and tickle. So i never thouht that i did something unfair because i would give what we got agreed in case of my failure... so i did never have a problem

I should say that most of the sessions were the young peinture teacher part time escort Nr... in first time she saw that it was useless to struggle and got tickled mercilessly. But interestingly she never refused and she never strugled to escape. It meant she accepted to be tickled without having any extra fee... she was not terribly ticklish but i explored her weak points and made the sesions unbearable for her... but you can ask why she accepted in next meetings the same.thing since she knew that she would be tortured for nothing? I think she realized how i liked that and wanted to promote her client. Because she was part time escort may be she wanted to limit the number of client and wanted me to call exclusively her...

 

[Franky]

The real dom is actually the sub. Sorry to ruin it for you. .

Actually, NO!
This is a common misconception that is constantly being perpetuated especially to new and/or curious people about BDSM.
The sub is not the "true" one in control. Why? Because, the safe word can in fact be used by ALL participants even though it is almost always directed at the sub/slave/bottom role. Because, the one in the dom/top role has a unique way of expressing or using the safe word without actually using it. Like verbally checking in with their partner(s) without safe wording before the casual questions. And also, ending the scene or play earlier than anticipated again without actually using the safe word first. <- Yah, I know real sneaky of them!

As for when a safe word gets used, depending on those involved (of course!) a large portion of the time the dom/top will check in first before completely jumping into "end scene now!" mode, because a simple adjustment maybe all that is needed instead of a complete scene stop. Or they may need to know where to start ending the scene for instance if bondage is involved untie or emergency cut off?
Now, when the time comes for the scene to end or something because, of the safe word sure the Dom/Top can always ignore it, but I sincerely doubt that their play partner will be returning or will be providing any form of a positive referral for the them. This also, shows a severe lack of common courtesy, manners, respect, or concern for another person's health and wellbeing. Remember, a safe word is not some sort of magical word that will make any and all dom/tops obey no matter what! They can choose to ignore it and those that do or joke about ignoring it (especially during the scene) are not safe to play with. (And I'm not say that those that do make those jokes are not safe to play with, but they do need to understand that not everyone is going to enjoy their jokes or find them reassuring in any way.)

Also, there is this thing called "topping from the bottom" which is when the person in the sub/slave/bottom role uses the safe word to control the scene, basically not using it for what it is intended for.

What is a safe word for then? To notify another person regardless if they are participating or not in the scene that the user is in some form of duress. Could be unintentional pain that is not considered part of the scene, maybe an unknown mental "trigger" was tripped, etc. It is usually highly encouraged for those who have little to no experience playing with each other or if the sub/slave/bottom is vocal with using phrases like "no," "stop," or even crying. Because, these can make it difficult to tell when the person is actually in duress.

So basically, a safe word is a safety-net not a choke collar for the dom/top with the sub/slave/bottom controlling it.
Or
It's kind of like dialing 911 or the police. It is meant for emergencies not for manipulating another person when there is no emergency.

 

[hlkkln]

Well....as long as you are respectful and know when you need to stop, I guess there is no problem. If you don't, you will find yourself without people to dominate!

Indeed my tickling adventures have already terminated because i got married and i did not chose according to tickling fantasies...

But let me tell you what was my style or method... when i was with a young women in bed (honestly it was more often with an Escort girl) i ask if she want to get a prize or a gift at the end of a challenge or bid if she successful. .. the answer is of course yes... then i tell the rules: if i would try to tie her down and if she would be free at the end of 20 minutes she will get the prize or the gift (generally some extra fee) but if i would be able to tie her her wrists and ancles she would be tickled during 30 minutes. I never promised mercy...
Answers were sometimes affirmative sometimes negative but i have never had to give that extra fee or gift because i was always successful

So i knew wery well that she suffered truly and both of us knew that she was solely submitted to my mercy... these were indispensable for my pleasure... moreover tying a nice girl despite her squirming and struggling with tooth and nail was also priceless
But on the other hand i did not kidnap or drug anybody to tie down and tickle. So i never thouht that i did something unfair because i would give what we got agreed in case of my failure... so i did never have a problem

I should say that most of the sessions were the young peinture teacher part time escort Nr... in first time she saw that it was useless to struggle and got tickled mercilessly. But interestingly she never refused and she never strugled to escape. It meant she accepted to be tickled without having any extra fee... she was not terribly ticklish but i explored her weak points and made the sesions unbearable for her... but you can ask why she accepted in next meetings the same.thing since she knew that she would be tortured for nothing? I think she realized how i liked that and wanted to promote her client. Because she was part time escort may be she wanted to limit the number of client and wanted me to call exclusively her...

 

[rhiannon]

As for when a safe word gets used, depending on those involved (of course!) a large portion of the time the dom/top will check in first before completely jumping into "end scene now!" mode, because a simple adjustment maybe all that is needed instead of a complete scene stop. Or they may need to know where to start ending the scene for instance if bondage is involved untie or emergency cut off?
Now, when the time comes for the scene to end or something because, of the safe word sure the Dom/Top can always ignore it, but I sincerely doubt that their play partner will be returning or will be providing any form of a positive referral for the them. This also, shows a severe lack of common courtesy, manners, respect, or concern for another person's health and wellbeing. Remember, a safe word is not some sort of magical word that will make any and all dom/tops obey no matter what! They can choose to ignore it and those that do or joke about ignoring it (especially during the scene) are not safe to play with. (And I'm not say that those that do make those jokes are not safe to play with, but they do need to understand that not everyone is going to enjoy their jokes or find them reassuring in any way.)

You're basically saying what I said.

she was not terribly ticklish but i explored her weak points and made the sesions unbearable for her... but you can ask why she accepted in next meetings the same.thing since she knew that she would be tortured for nothing?

Makes me think she either liked it or put up a good act for you. But doesn't sound like she found it truly unbearable.

 

[Franky]

@ Rhiannon,
Yes, but with the entirety of my post it was to explain that by having a safe word does not give the slave/sub/bottom more control or control over the dom/top in the scene. So, when the safe word is used it should get appropriate attention, but when it is abused there is a good chance the dom/top will not play with the slave/sub/bottom again.

 

[rhiannon]

As I also said before, a sub will usually not use the safeword because what happens is unbearable, but because there is something wrong. I have never ever used the safeword because I couldn't stand the tickling anymore, only if I got a cramp or was otherwise in pain. And most of the time I don't even have to use it then, because yelling "Cramp!" works too.

I mean - it is part of the game to be brought to the limits. Using the safeword for no reason would ruin it.

A safeword can also be helpful though if there were no hard limits for what can be done and what can't be done established. It gives the sub a chance to show that this particular action that's going on right now is not wanted.

 

[hlkkln]

As I also said before, a sub will usually not use the safeword because what happens is unbearable, but because there is something wrong. I have never ever used the safeword because I couldn't stand the tickling anymore, only if I got a cramp or was otherwise in pain. And most of the time I don't even have to use it then, because yelling "Cramp!" works too.

I mean - it is part of the game to be brought to the limits. Using the safeword for no reason would ruin it.

A safeword can also be helpful though if there were no hard limits for what can be done and what can't be done established. It gives the sub a chance to show that this particular action that's going on right now is not wanted.

Here nobody undermine the importance of safewords or defend that it musnt exist... but as it is one of the first thing to teach to foreigners there is a difference between must&have to&should ... in case of safeword the dom have to stop for a while and then if the sub says 'no more' he should end the session. But to argue that it is imperatif or to use 'must' devaluate and undermine the dominant position...

If anything is not up to you, then you can not be identified as dominant and if anything is up to you, then you can not be identified as sub...

You always says that subs will not misuse safeword application but our topic is not that. Our topic is about who will have the right or authority to make Assesment and take decision about it

 

[hlkkln]

You're basically saying what I said.



Makes me think she either liked it or put up a good act for you. But doesn't sound like she found it truly unbearable.

I should confess that i never tought that she liked but there is a probability that she was not ticklish because in our early meetings she did not give and reaction to my spontan attempts to tickle her belly or feet. I said her once that her lack of ticklishness is dispointing but i continued to call her because of her other skills. Once she said me that she would pretend to get tickled if she had known it because she was good in role playing... two session after i touched her belly and got reaction. She said me that i found the right touch she is tickled in harder touches. May be she acted but if it is so she is a perfect actress.
I saw that she got afraid a bit in first tying action. And every session she opposed the hogtie while i was completing it by tying the ancles to wrist she pleaded 'do not tie them' ... of course i did not make bargaining with her. But if she was acting while she turn her neck look my eyes and said ' dooo not touuuuccchhhh' despite her gag after feeling my fingers approaching her pussy ; she deserved to be a movie star in universal scale...

Anyway if she lied to me does not matter i took pleasure and in addition we had two session of bastinado that i can consider them as punishment of these lies altough she deserved them already... if you ask how? One night i called her but she said me that she would come in morning and i arranged my program. But she did not come. She did not cancel or pospone our common plan and she did not come despite i had already said her that i would punish retards by bastinado... next day she called me and apilogized but i said her that i can not acceot her excuses without bastinado... first she refused but then she accepted. When she came i had already prepared the cane for her big feet...

In second, when we did a plan for next day i said her to learn by hard the capital cities of world countries until morning it Will be in her favor... after tickling i told her the rules. I wet her feet with cold water and tightly tied to armchair. Each wrong answer was punished immediately by a cane strike and good ones were promoted by 5 dollar for each.who surrender among us would pay with five question. If i began to exceed by budget and want to quit i would give 25 but if she give up she would take 5 more strikes (fair)... i just counted the correct ones to calculate her extra payement it was 17 good answers but she missed even more. When she missed (as a high school teacher) the capital of our neighboring country i hit extra hard but then my squemish and mercifull side prevailed. I noticed that she was fearing from the extra 5 strikes and so she could not surrender but this costed her pink feet... i proposed her to finish without extra compensation for nobody

 

[bri908]

Either way.. it wouldn't matter. I'm not a Ler and don't tickle other women so I'd release her and ask for the straps to be put on me

(Doesn't always have to negative replies. lol)

-------------------------------

hum.................................

 

[rhiannon]

If anything is not up to you, then you can not be identified as dominant and if anything is up to you, then you can not be identified as sub...

The roles of dom and sub only exist during the game. As soon as the game ends, that's it. And it's up to both, dom and sub, to end the game at any time.

 

[hlkkln]

The roles of dom and sub only exist during the game. As soon as the game ends, that's it. And it's up to both, dom and sub, to end the game at any time.

First of all i do not perceive it as just a game. But even if it is so as you said dominant dominates during the session and the decision for the ultimate end or to continue is given during the game so it is up to the dom in my opinion.

But the golden rule is maybe to talk everything before. For instance now if i had the opportunity to get in such a relationship i would determine a safeword but i would promise just a stop in case of use and even i would determine a small punishment for any use of the safeword in order to deter her to misuse it especially if i do not recognize her very well.
If accepted ok... if no i would understand that she is not ready to give me full control of her body for the duration of session so i give up.

 

[rhiannon]

What kind of punishment are we talking about? I myself have done some bets - if I use the safeword within a certain amount of time, I lose the bet, if I don't I win. Helps making it more interesting.

But if you don't perceive it as a game, maybe you are taking things too seriously.