When Fantasy Becomes Reality (and is therefore disturbing)

[ThePurpleQuill]

Let's start: recently I was watching an episode of "The People's Court", featuring an older man suing a younger woman for using his credit card. Now, it's not hard to imagine the scenario here: a young woman going through a hard time takes financial help from a stranger, only to learn that person is using the situation to get something other than their money back in return. At one point, the woman admits in court that the man wanted her to "do things" to pay back the debt, things that she was uncomfortable with saying in court, implying sexual favors in exchange for payment. However, there was one specific she revealed to the judge: she stated that, in exchange for $600, he wanted to "tie her up for 600 minutes," something that struck me as uniquely disturbing.

Be they stories, clips, full videos, or just blog posts, there is a myriad of scenarios we fantasize about that would strike many to be disturbing by themselves, be they kidnapping, torture, interrogation, extortion, or anything else. However, the difference between fantasy and reality is just that, making all the difference between indulging your desires in a safe and controlled setting versus one that results in the victimization of another human being, and knowing that there is someone out there actively going against this is uniquely appalling to my sensibilities.

So my question to you: have you also come across something, be it in the news or in your own life, that struck you as unsettling due to it overlapping with you fetish or fantasy life?

 

[robmic]

My fantasy is if someone (most likely a druggie) broke into my home while I was there, I would confront them with a gun, make them strip down and force them to shower (never know when the last time they did), then tie them spread eagle to my bed. Then I would proceed to tickle the crap out of them. Then when I finished, tell them to give me a bj or I would tickle them for the rest of the night! If everything went well, then I might consider getting them off.
It's either that or shoot them! And I don't shoot to wound! They invade my home, I have no idea what they're capable of.

 

[Soles_Scream]

This is a great question. I do fantasize about helping a pretty woman in exchange for some worship time and light tickling. Though I’d never actually make that a requirement to help anyone. I generally cringe if non consensual tickling hits the news or outside fantasy boundaries.

Some of the best stories I read on this forum have an element of non consensual, but then end with somewhat consensual element. Those are usually my favorite stories.

 

[AfNull]

Majority of my fantasies go straight into that "disturbing" territory. Kidnappings, very non-consensual tickle torture and terrible bondage perils. I'm one of those guys who feel that if I'm going to fantasize about a woman being tied and tickled, I might as well go all out about it inside my head. While my fantasies can have some sort of realistic an plausible atmosphere, I think the major thing separating my fantasies from the potential real deal are the details, which are idealized and unrealistic in order to pander to the tickling aspect.

 

[ElFewja]

Yes.

I began addressing this with myself and my writing several years ago, that I was writing scenarios that, hm. Kind of aren't so cool. I've mostly worked through it and so haven't thought on it in a while, so I don't exactly have the words or mindset to tackle the idea. I think, essentially, I was concerned about reinforcing not-ok ideas in thoughts or others by expressing them in stories. That is, by engaging in the act, I'm creating an environment where such thoughts are ok. And there's a lot to unravel there -- it was a thought process I've spent more than a few years on -- but I've mostly settled on that I won't do things to hurt another person in real life. Still a bit mixed on it in stories/with others, though. I think what helped me most with the idea was a particular ex, and also xxYunaxx from the forums. There are people that enjoy that hypothetical play scenario on both ends, kidnapped helplessness etc. It just took me a bit to get there, is all.

Basically, it's just about consent and acknowledging that fantasy is fantasy. I don't have any intention of censoring myself, but I also don't really want to partake in stuff like the nylon dungeon anymore, fantasy or not. I'd rather create a nicer environment and encourage consent, but that's just me. It's a pretty watered down version of my thoughts over the last few years, but I'm ok with where I'm at now and with what I do, and I think I can be ok with non-con in writing now.

Regarding the story you mentioned, though. I mean, yeah, it skeeves me that people actually do that, and I can't say I haven't engaged in similar behaviors. The thing is, I wouldn't do it if I thought it made the other person uncomfortable. I'm pretty careful with that. Of course mindsets change and all of that, so I think checks for consent should be constant, but eh. People change, and what they thought was ok at one time they might not think is ok 20 years later. That's some new-historicism literary theory, though, in that our interpretation of the past changes based on our interpretation of the present.

 

[Deleted member 6657]

it's all about your integrity. We all have these thoughts and desires, it's just down to us knowing the difference between right & wrong. Think of fetishes as a test, and for some it is a huge test on there integrity. Rapists, pedophiles, even murderers have some of the most difficult challenges. They know from a very young age that they have this desire but they only start to understand it when they get in to puberty stages of life, like so many of us here, we all knew from a young age that we had a fascination with tickling. Now it's just a case of how we go about indulging in these desires. Some of us choose a path that there's no coming back from and others have a more understanding approach of how this can affect another human being. This is where your integrity comes into it. Only we can decide how these desires can become reality or just a fantasy.

Being into nylon tickling, the nylon dungeon stories are very dark and evil and the writer definitely gave us a glimpse into their own fantasies when writing those stories. When I was younger I thought they was great, but as I got older I become turned off by them. I couldn't do that to another person no matter how much I enjoy tickling.

I just don't find non consensual tickling a turn on and that all comes down to my integrity, which we all have. The questions is, which one is stronger, your fetish/desires or your integrity?

 

[Tenebrae]

I used to be very concerned with that when I was a kid. Having understood at a very early age that I was sadistic (aroused by the despair and suffering of women), I had a growing concern in my little child's mind that I would end up being a movie villain in my adulthood.

It's only much later that I understood one key thing: it's fiction, people! I am going to take one example we can all relate to. I love the film Die Hard; I love to see Bruce Willis killing people and survive by the skin of his teeth. Does it mean I would take any pleasure in the real thing? Absolutely not. It's fiction. I believe same goes for the extreme scenarios we build in our head. It is an arousing, aesthetically pleasing, idealized image of torture. It is NOT torture, just a reconstruction of it. And it's normal, it's human. No matter how extreme our fantasies go, or how much we THINK we might enjoy the transposition of this into reality, it either happens in such a controlled manner that it continues to be a reconstruction (ie: consensual play with a sexual partner), or it becomes the disgusting mess that is ACTUAL torture/rape/assault/murder, in which case congratulations: you are now a criminal

So no, it doesn't disturb me anymore, nor do I question the mental health of those who enjoy Die Hard and horror films. Or my own, and the nature of my fantasies. I have grown up to be a responsible adult.

 

[siamese dream]

I like stories that are about a fictional nonconsensual situation in which the damsel finds herself more and more aroused. Part of her distress is trying, and failing, to fight the arousal itself. In such a story, the damsel's willpower melts slowly away until she surrenders to the sweetness of being her captor(s) pleasured little plaything.

No real-life nonconsensual situation would resemble such a fantasy. There is the world of erotica and then there is real life and never shall the two meet.

I like this too; also scenes in f/m where the guy is trying and failing miserably to hide or control his arousal. It's a difference between the fantasy and reality of "consentual non-consent" and *actual* non-consent. One is sexy and fun fantasy and can be a part of stories and also real life play. The other is maybe ok in fiction but never anything but criminal in reality.