When is revenge no longer worth it?

[Cosmo_ac]

Lately, I've been writing a story that i plan on posting here, and one of the themes of the story is revenge. The question, i pose the readers of this thread however, is when is revenge no longer worth it? When does inflicting pain, after pain has been inflicted on you, finally become too much? What is enough, and when should it be stopped? And afterwords, after you've delivered the pain back that was delivered to you, should you feel justified about what you've done? Because somebody hurt you, should the fact that you hurt somebody else be alright, because they hurt you in the first place?

And, what say that, you were hurting another for the sake of somebody who couldn't hurt them, because they were no longer around? Do you think they would apreciate and be proud of what you did, or do you think it would make them sad that you are hurting others in there name?

 

[The Pianist]

Revenge is never worth it.

I very rarely ever try to exact revenge on someone (other than a friend in a strictly playful sense) partly because I am quite a passive person and find it very hard to try and remain angry at anyone for any extended length of time... but also because I know it never solves anything and puts more of a strain on you.

As far as stories go though... revenge is always an easy excuse for tickle tourturing someone.

 

[Dave2112]

I'm going to assume that you are talking about real-life revenge, and not story scenarios. You can use whatever justification you want in fiction, just be careful not to associate too closely with your characters.

Speaking as one who follows a Jedi-like Path, revenge is one of the worst things you can get yourself wrapped up in. Scores can be settled and balance brought to the universe, but that balance tends to unfold in the natural course of events. Call it karma, Coincidence, the Will of the Force...whatever.

Revenge is simply another form of dominance and subjugation. We fool ourselves into thinking that there's a difference because we see it as justified. You hurt a person for no reason, it's an evil or dark act. You hurt a person because you've decided that you must be the one to put the Universe Back Into Balance, and it's doubly dark. Why? Because not only is the target still hurt, but you've dragged yourself into the realm of petulance, evil and egotism. Egotism? Yes, as you've come to see yourself as judge and jury.

And on top of all that, was the original offense corrected? No, nothing has changed in history. Plus, you may have interrupted the plan of the Universe/God/Karma/The Force to put things right in its own way.

 

[Admiral Trouser]

But who are the judges and juries of people, but people themselves? Like it or no, people out there deserve the revenge of those who they have hurt, often terribly, and it always strikes me as somewhat selfish to shrug off responsibility to exact justice unto these people, and instead leave it to some unseen and unproved cosmic force to do the dirty work for you. Sometimes you have to just make a stand and trust in your judgement and your principles, because at the end of the day its all we've really got...

Not a personal attack on yourself, Dave. Just my thoughts 🙂

AT

 

[mabus]

But you're leaving one fact out - is the other person repentant? If someone is generally sorry for hurting you, so you decide to kick there ass anyway, that's the way of evil, of the darkside!🙂

Forgiveness is divine, because if someone wrongs you, and you forgive them, then that's the end of that. Everyone is better for it. Even if they're not sorry, don't worry about it. You stay on the path of good. They will eventually get theres, here on Earth, or when they die and meet God. I'm sure there were people who tried to stand in Mother Theresa's way. She didn't stop, and start down the path of revenge to "get them back," she just forgave them, moved on, and kept doing good. Now she's being considered for sainthood, and those that stood in her way are forgotten about.

Revenge is evil, even worse than other forms of evil, because it traps you in a perpetual cycle of misery and suffering. You get revenge after being wronged. Revenge is ALWAYS worse than the infraction. The other party realizes this, and comes back and gets you back harder because the revenge was so bad. Then you go back and strike them a second time. Then they come back and strike you again. Then you go back....on and on and on.

Need proof of this..just look at Israel and Palestine. Enough said.

 

[Admiral Trouser]

There is a very, very fine line between revenge and retributive justice, and yes I'll agree that the line is somewhat subjective and that the latter can easily spiral into the former, but the line and the difference exists none the less, and just because there is a risk in doing something doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it all.

Waiting on someone or something else to get it done for you doesn't seem quite right somehow....

AT

 

[Dragon321]

revenge is in the finest traditions of judeo-islamic law: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. such laws are tribalistic and simplistic in nature. it can also be called lex talionis: the law of retribution. within an enlightened society, other mechanisms are in place that ideally remove the revenge a step higher into an official retributive capacity, where society punishes the individual rather than the whole thing degenerating into a blood-feud whose origins are invariably lost. however in our society the legal systems are corrupt and fallibla, as they are a human institution, although they could certainly be made better. in any case, revenge is mere idiocy and base instinct. it preaches to our lower instincts, and not our reason.

 

[natural tickler]

That is a question unfortunately no one can have an answer to, because everyone has different levels pf how much is enough. If that person is really vindictive, nothing is ever enough, because that person stays angry. I believe it is strictly up to the individual

 

[Moses25]

Excuse me Snagglepussies, but revenge is always worth the effort involved...if only to hone your skills for the next time around.

And it ain't aboot getting even. It's aboot arrogance. Many, many people in this world honestly feel that they are untouchable; they think that injurious actions towards others will never come back to haunt them. Boy oh boy, wait 'til they meet me...

And in some cases, people act retarded b/c they, themselves, are feeling a lot of pain. These peeps are to be forgiven. I'm talking aboot the "don't care" attitude of some arseholes, mainly b/c no one has ever called them on their behaviour. These freaks are just screaming for a commuppance, don'tcha think?

My $.02 w/out reading the above replies. 🙄

Cheers.😀

 

[Haltickling]

Revenge is an ambivalent sword. It seems to be a natural human instinct, to be given up for the benefits of a functioning society. No society can work if we are allowed to act out all our instincts, therefore we simply must suppress some of them for a better living.

OTOH, revenge can become a society's policy, like in the current Israel/Palestinian conflict. Then it's even more dangerous than on a person to person level. There is no chance for peace as long as both parties act on the principle of revenge.

As for myself, I abhor revenge, instead I usually try to solve a conflict with arguments. Only if this attempt fails, I tend to think of some well-measured revenge, carefully exacted to not involve any other people. The revenge can consist of a report to the police, of suing somebody in court, or playing a similar bad prank on the one who hurt me.

However, I don't know how I would react if one of my beloved ones were severely hurt. That's the only scenario I can imagine myself becoming really violent, although I'm fully aware of and accepting the fact that I'd become subject to a criminal trial myself. Thank God I've been spared this decision so far!

 

[crydun]

Revenge is no longer worth it when it fills you with prideful anger and destroys the inner peace that is in your heart when you're happy.
I went through this not long ago. after being abused and picked on all through school, I came out full of rage, bitterness and anger. I locked myself away in my own world and would let no one in. I stopped going to church for awhile and my heart became hardened.
But the good Lord never gave up on me. He kept speaking to my heart and body(anger and revenge can bring on illness, you know) Finally, one Sunday, sick and tired of being sick and tired, I laid my anger on the alter of the Lord. I have never looked back. Those who hurt others will pay for it, in the end. If you allow yourself to wallow in anger, you are, in a sense, letting them win. I wish the best for you, cos. You are a good person, inside and out. God Bless!

 

[AffectionateDan]

Man... after all those mature (well, mostly 😛 ) responses...

...Kinda takes the wind outta the sails of my Ancient Klingon Proverb riff I was gonna use. (sigh) 🙄

 

[JoBelle]

Well,...revenge can vary in degree, no?

Some might say that if a total stranger came up to you and punched you in the face that your striking him back is justifiable, instantanoues revenge. Others might say that the man who killed 48 women on the west coast and was recently caught would be "victim" to revenge if all the families pushed and received the death penalty. (I was once told that was the ultimate act of revenge.) Some might say that spraying your college roommate with shaving cream as she heads out to class is "revenge" for her taking a nudie pic of you stepping out of the shower.

In each of those - and all other- cases, I think the only person who can decide whether or not the "revenge" is good, bad, or otherwise, is the person carrying out the act. And, personally speaking, I can end by saying that I've found some revenge taking in life to be well worth it. Others, not so much, so I didn't waste the time.

My three cents.
Joby

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

I like to believe that as fallable beings it is part of our responsibility here on earth and (if you believe in God) to serve God by learning from our mistakes and that includes forgiving others ...you don't have to like whatever they did.

But you cannot change that they did it. The only thing worse than being hurt is continuing to hurt yourself by remaining in a vengeful state of mind and body (yes, this kind of negative energy affects us physically as well as emotionally and mentally)

As so many others have, I have been betrayed and repeatedly hurt by the one person in a persons life that you should never be hurt by...your mom...was it my fault she hurt me or did what she did? Of course not, I was a child, a young girl. Is it up to me to take responsibility for my own pain today? You bet it is.

Primarily because she is not motivated to. I hated her for a long time. I was bitter and angry and hated almost everyone. My hatred of her and my need to get back at her in any way I could became the driving force in my life...The focus I placed on making her pay for what she did to me ruined many years of my own life, my entire adolescence was basically wasted on hating her and becoming a mean bitter person myself.

The result? She is still the same person capable of doing the same things.....my years of hating her and trying to get even only hurt me and the people around me....it also hindered any chance I had at loving someone....seeking revenge is compatible with hatred and incompatible with love and being loving.....you can't have both...I chose to let it go and be myself minus the anger..it's a much better way to live🙂

We all have a force that drives us in our life...bitterness and revenge cannot be given away or exacted toward someone without first running it thru yourself.....so you're punishing yourself and all of those around you for what? A chance to now be seen as right? I say, do you want to be right or be happy?

We have no control (sometimes) over whether or not someone decides to hurt us...as I said, the only thing worse than getting hurt unfairly is allowing the hurt to continue...by continuing the path of destruction and negativity by prolonging the misery...I believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins...he forgave those that persecuted him at the cross and asked God to forgive them...are we better than Jesus that we can not forgive as he did? I think not. Anyway, I am not imposing religion on anyone, simply stating how I feel🙂 That said, can I get an amen?🙂 peace.

 

[sole seeker]

I'm an old fart. I've had lots of cause to seek revenge over the course of my life. I have sought revenge many times as a younger man. I have learned a couple of things about it.

Primarily, I learned that when I hated someone/something enough to need revenge I hurt myself inside. For one thing, I was unable to fully appreciate all of the good things that came my way while I was focused on the negative feelings of anger and hurt. Seeking revenge kept me focused on these negative feelings, and that hurt me more than anyone else.

Another thing, life turns in a circle; it "gets" all of us. Everyone has highs and lows. Count on it - if your enemy is "up" today, he'll get kicked in the crotch tomorrow. If you're around when it happens you may get some satisfaction from it. Kind of like finding money on the ground - you didn't have to work for it, it's a gift.

Finally, I've heard it said that "the best revenge is in living well." I found this to be true. If you have an enemy who hurt you on purpose, the best way to hurt him back is to be more successful (happier) than he is.


Just my two cents. Might not work for you.

 

[crydun]

I like to believe that as fallable beings it is part of our responsibility here on earth and (if you believe in God) to serve God by learning from our mistakes and that includes forgiving others ...you don't have to like whatever they did.

But you cannot change that they did it. The only thing worse than being hurt is continuing to hurt yourself by remaining in a vengeful state of mind and body (yes, this kind of negative energy affects us physically as well as emotionally and mentally)

As so many others have, I have been betrayed and repeatedly hurt by the one person in a persons life that you should never be hurt by...your mom...was it my fault she hurt me or did what she did? Of course not, I was a child, a young girl. Is it up to me to take responsibility for my own pain today? You bet it is.

Primarily because she is not motivated to. I hated her for a long time. I was bitter and angry and hated almost everyone. My hatred of her and my need to get back at her in any way I could became the driving force in my life...The focus I placed on making her pay for what she did to me ruined many years of my own life, my entire adolescence was basically wasted on hating her and becoming a mean bitter person myself.

The result? She is still the same person capable of doing the same things.....my years of hating her and trying to get even only hurt me and the people around me....it also hindered any chance I had at loving someone....seeking revenge is compatible with hatred and incompatible with love and being loving.....you can't have both...I chose to let it go and be myself minus the anger..it's a much better way to live🙂

We all have a force that drives us in our life...bitterness and revenge cannot be given away or exacted toward someone without first running it thru yourself.....so you're punishing yourself and all of those around you for what? A chance to now be seen as right? I say, do you want to be right or be happy?

We have no control (sometimes) over whether or not someone decides to hurt us...as I said, the only thing worse than getting hurt unfairly is allowing the hurt to continue...by continuing the path of destruction and negativity by prolonging the misery...I believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins...he forgave those that persecuted him at the cross and asked God to forgive them...are we better than Jesus that we can not forgive as he did? I think not. Anyway, I am not imposing religion on anyone, simply stating how I feel🙂 That said, can I get an amen?🙂 peace.

aww TM! I think I just found a new pen pal. You!!!!

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

aawww...thanks Crydun🙂
I'll penpal with ya any old time...lol 🙂
my email is [email protected]🙂 😀

 

[trepak]

Need proof of this..just look at Israel and Palestine. Enough said.

DARN !!
I wanted to bring up this example. 😛


Revenge is for idiots. It's for those who think that an act of revenge would erase the pain they felt in the first place. It's for kids who believe in 'eye for an eye - tooth for a tooth'. I have seen quite some pain in my life so far. Pain I delivered and pain I received and there never was any real reason for revenge because revenge just does not work - it's illogical
This reminds me of one 'Simpsons'-episode where they found an old hand which was able to grant wishes. Lisa requested peace on earth - so all weapons were destroyed. Now those green aliens came and saw that mankind wasn't able to defend itself. They invaded earth and all worked fine for them until one man found a piece of wood with a nail in it. He recognized that he could use this as a weapon.....yadda, yadda, yadda.... the aliens fled and one of them asked if they should return with a larger amount of ships but the other one said - and here it comes - NO. There's no need to return with more ships because mankind will build bigger pieces of wood with nails in it. And then they will build much bigger pieces of wood with nails in it. And one day they will build a piece of wood with a nail in it that is so huge that mankind will destroy itself with it.
I know my english is anything but good - but I hope you understand what I wanted to say.

So what did we learn?
Well, revenge is stupid
and
Mr. Sharon never watched the Simpsons