When they say "I don't like people touching my feet."

[emilyemilyemily]

I didn't have a problem with your opinion, I had a problem with the words "ignorant" and "closed-minded" when someone says something you disliked or disagreed with. Your opinion isn't going to change their mind about the situation any more than it'll change yours.

You have your own preferences and specifics with play partners and lees; you've stated them in many threads. That doesn't make you ignorant or closed-minded, it makes you a person with preferences that make your play experiences good for you. I don't see emily's preferences any differently-she prefers not to have her feet touched. The person that isn't willing to respect that is NOT going to be playing with her.

We don't always know the "why"; it could be a combination of several issues. We only know what is or isn't good for us and if you want to work your way through it fine--if not, then it is what it is.

this, yo. you [viper] seem quick to defend your position as if it's the one that is infallibly correct. that'd be like if someone said that they didn't like elvis costello's music and they don't know why, and i said "fuck you, elvis costello is amazing." which i think he is, but that's not a fact.

and not that it's any of your fucking business, but i don't like having my feet touched because i'm handicapped and my nerves are dead. happy that i gave you a reason?

 

[ViperGTS]

I didn't have a problem with your opinion, I had a problem with the words "ignorant" and "closed-minded" when someone says something you disliked or disagreed with. Your opinion isn't going to change their mind about the situation any more than it'll change yours.

I am not out to change people's minds. I simply do not understand how someone can not like something when they know little to nothing about it. If, on the other hand, they have a legitimate reason, I won't argue with them.

"I don't like (X)" because "I don't know" is not a valid reason or argument.

this, yo. you [viper] seem quick to defend your position as if it's the one that is infallibly correct. that'd be like if someone said that they didn't like elvis costello's music and they don't know why, and i said "fuck you, elvis costello is amazing." which i think he is, but that's not a fact.

If you don't like Costello's music, but you can say "I've listened to his music and it is not to my tastes" then your opinion IS invalid. If on the other hand you can't say that you have listened to it and it's not to your tastes, you can't expect anyone to take you seriously.

This is my opinion.

and not that it's any of your fucking business, but i don't like having my feet touched because i'm handicapped and my nerves are dead. happy that i gave you a reason?

A) Please watch your disrespectful tone. I do not appreciate the offensive attitude you seem to have towards me, and I will not tolerate your tone of "type."

B) You could have sent me a PM if you wanted to explain such an obviously personal issue, instead of acting like such a bitch in this thread.

C) I am not 'happy', as you put it, but your reasoning is perfectly valid and as such, you'll never hear me arguing with you now that I know why you have such an aversion to people touching your feet.

Shit, you need to chill the fuck out.

 

[leafstk]

My experience has led to believe that it is a waste of time to try to convert a women who makes a statement like that into one who enjoys foot play. Don't bother.

This. You are not going to change someone's mind on the matter... why waste your time?

I wouldn't say I'm a huge foot person, but I do like cute feet and even cute feet in cute socks, lol. When it comes to tickling, I find upperbody tickling much more enjoyable for some reason. However, I still think its important to a degree that her feet be somewhat attractive... because unattractive or feet that aren't looked after ARE nasty and tend to gross me out too, LOL. Not sure if I'm making sense here

Anyway, and like deadly, Weasel and others have said.... its funny how difficult it is to discuss the topic outside of our comfort zone here on the forum. Not sure why... but its hard to bring myself to say the word or at least I start to turn red when its mentioned... lol. Even with my girlfriend, even though she was cool with it... i still found myself get somewhat uncomfortable around the discussion, lol... but I'm much better at it now than I used to be, that's for sure!

Oh and on a side note: Not sure I understand why feet would be such a deal breaker when it comes to dating... I'm not disrespecting those who have said that is the case, I just don't understand it. I like nice feet too, but if she doesn't want them touched or isn't into feet, would that be sufficient reason for me to end a potential relationship when you consider other potential qualities she may have to offer?

 

[solescratcher99]

People, in general, need time in order to change their minds. It doesn't just happen overnight. They need new experiences, new perspectives, new people to talk too, etc.

Anytime I hear a woman say she doesn't like her feet being touched I usually just take it as her temporary personal preference. This means it could change and has the potential to change, but I'm not going to tell her she's wrong because its obviously a matter of personal taste and/or lack of experience.

Anyway, yeah, I usually give the typical arguments everyone has put forward so far, but I don't make those arguments in an attempt to force her to have a different opinion. I see it as simply a way of contributing to her overall perspective on the matter. She can disregard it or take it seriously if she wants. That's her personal opinion. Because I realize this I usually make those arguments in a silly and joking way. Not to take away the validity of the argument itself, just to further some kind of discussion so we can vibe and get to know each other a little more.

Sure, some people put forward their opinion as though they're indisputable and objective facts. By doing this, they do have a tendency to come across as intolerant, narrow minded, dogmatic... what have you? But it doesn't do anyone any good to get offended and act as though what this person is saying can be seriously considered an objective fact. These things usually say more about them than it does about you. Therefore, I don't take it personally and just (brushes shoulders).

Plus, I've had converts in the foot area. You just have to have patience and try not to take it personally. I mean, it took me a while to learn how to appreciate alternative country. In fact, I HATED alternative country! Exclamation points and all. lol. But now its one of my favorite genres of music.

 

[-Hari-]

My opinion is that WAY too many girls with very attractive and ticklish feet despise them being touched, its wrong!!! wrong and they suck but then if everyone liked it then it may not feel quite as exciting when you find someone that loves it

 

[kis123]

I am not out to change people's minds. I simply do not understand how someone can not like something when they know little to nothing about it. If, on the other hand, they have a legitimate reason, I won't argue with them.

"I don't like (X)" because "I don't know" is not a valid reason or argument.

Again, you are obviously not a woman.

Women are emotional, nurturing, and intuitive people; we're not stuck on the so-called "logic" you men seem to thrive on. You tend to focus on the black and white of things when myself and many women concentrate on the shades of gray of life. That's what makes us who we are; people with differing opinions and POVs.

And who exactly determines what is a "legitimate" reason? The person with the opinion, IMO. It doesn't always make sense to others, but the person with the opinion........it makes perfect sense.

The world would be a horribly boring place if we all agreed on everything, don't you think??

 

[fttickler]

Now that this thread has gone over the top, may I just say

this, yo. you [viper] seem quick to defend your position as if it's the one that is infallibly correct. that'd be like if someone said that they didn't like elvis costello's music and they don't know why, and i said "fuck you, elvis costello is amazing." which i think he is, but that's not a fact.

and not that it's any of your fucking business, but i don't like having my feet touched because i'm handicapped and my nerves are dead. happy that i gave you a reason?

Emily,

You have the most amazing smile and a gorgeous pair of ( green I think ) eyes.... just had to say it

Adam

 

[alchemy]

I've come to the conclusion that most women out there either hate feet or hate their feet.

I seem to hear things like this quite a lot for it to be just some random minority.

...and yet they love shoes...most of which do not cover up, but endeavor to show off their feet.

Odd.

 

[emilyemilyemily]

Emily,

You have the most amazing smile and a gorgeous pair of ( green I think ) eyes.... just had to say it

Adam

haha, yes, they're green. and thank you!

 

[SilverHealer84]

Emily, I adore you. I really do. <3 You don't owe anyone an explanation, and just ignoreee the interrogation you seem to be getting.

I'm very picky on who touches my feet. I normally don't even like my husband to touch my feet unless I'm in the mood for it, for a couple different reasons. My feet are extremely ticklish, and I simply don't publicize the fact that I'm ticklish...it kind of feels like a bad orgasm. I'm not a feet person to begin with... I don't hate them or anything, but I'm more interested in other body parts

 

[emilyemilyemily]

Emily, I adore you. I really do. <3 You don't owe anyone an explanation, and just ignoreee the interrogation you seem to be getting.

thank you, sweetness! how very kind of you

 

[DLazarus]

thank you, sweetness! how very kind of you

I agree with you and silverhealer. It's no ones business why you feel the way you do about feet. You have a great personality and I think you are GREAT.

 

[ViperGTS]

So asking questions about something that I don't understand is unacceptable?

Excuse the hell out of me for trying to understand something that I have no personal experience of context with. I'm not interrogtaing anyone, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around a concept that I doubt I'll ever be able to personally understand.

Jesus christ.

 

[kis123]

So asking questions about something that I don't understand is unacceptable?

Excuse the hell out of me for trying to understand something that I have no personal experience of context with. I'm not interrogtaing anyone, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around a concept that I doubt I'll ever be able to personally understand.

Jesus christ.

Huh??

No one (at least not I) said you couldn't ask a question; by all means, ask away. But when someone doesn't give you the answer you wanted to hear or no answer at all, it simply is what it is. We don't always consciously know the answers or for whatever reason, are uncomfortable with sharing them.

It might not seem right, but it is some people's reality.

In converse, if someone found something you did unacceptable, just how much are you really going to care what they think anyway? I'm sure there are some out in this big universe who wouldn't find your videos or sexual practices acceptable. Do you really care what they think? Would you bother giving them an answer (especially if you know in advance you could be called "ignorant" or closed-minded" for having said opinion?

I'm kinda' leaning to the side of you not caring too much.

 

[ViperGTS]

The fact that we're talking about two completely different types of people doesn't help.

I'm talking about people (women, specifically) who "hate feet" because, quite simply, "they're yucky". That's, IMO, ignorant.

You're talking about people who may have a phobia of feet (it does exist) or have some sort of aversion due to a bad experience or disability.

They're two entirely different viewpoints, the latter of which I have no problem with.

But then again, who gives a damn about my opinion anyway, yanno?

 

[kis123]

The fact that we're talking about two completely different types of people doesn't help.

I'm talking about people (women, specifically) who "hate feet" because, quite simply, "they're yucky". That's, IMO, ignorant.

And that is your opinion to freely have, but you're going to get feedback that opposes it.

Feet are a big deal around TMF, but the rest of the world either doesn't care or find feet an unattractive or even disgusting body part. Name-calling not only doesn't change anyone's opinion, it has the potential to become offensive. If people don't think as I think or feel as I feel about a subject matter, that's their opinion to have. Really not worth the fight, IMO-then again, that's my personal opinion.........

You're talking about people who may have a phobia of feet (it does exist) or have some sort of aversion due to a bad experience or disability.

They're two entirely different viewpoints, the latter of which I have no problem with.

Phobias are very real to those who have them. Some are afraid of heights, animals, open or closed spaces. Are they ignorant or closed minded too? Or is it just the foot phobics that get labeled? Some can be dealt with, and sometimes the phobia's too strong to ever get past it.

But then again, who gives a damn about my opinion anyway, yanno?

Why sir, obviously I care--that's why I'm here.

 

[ViperGTS]

Phobias are very real to those who have them. Some are afraid of heights, animals, open or closed spaces. Are they ignorant or closed minded too? Or is it just the foot phobics that get labeled? Some can be dealt with, and sometimes the phobia's too strong to ever get past it.

The very section of my post that you quoted for this question, answers it.

 

[ViperGTS]

First off i hope you feel like an asshole for making Emily feel like she had to give you an answer. Before you even try and say you didn't. Look back at your posts. Maybe you don't think you pressed the issue. But obviously she felt you needed some kind of answer. Annoyed and probably ticked off she answered you here instead of in a PM.Just in case you don't. Trust me you are.

"First off" - Emily can speak for herself. I've already PMd her. This isn't an interrogation - I asked a question because I didn't understand something, and now I do.

Secondly, I don't feel like an asshole. I asked her a very simple question - "Why?" I didn't force her to spell it out in the thread for everyone to see, and she could have chosen to PM me instead. Furthermore, the only reason I would feel like an asshole is if I were to make fun of her, and I NEVER make fun of someone's disabilty because that's just fucking cruel.

Now on to the quote above. A lot of people who don't have a foot fetish think exactly that. Why? Because a good deal of the time they are encased in shoes and socks. Which makes them sweat and subsequently stink. Sock lint gets between toes; people with really dry feet have cracks; tight shoes cause bunions etc. etc. etc. Rather then giving the examples as i have above people simply say "they are gross/yucky/nasty." .

Then it's their own damned fault because they don't understand the concept of proper hygeine. If you don't wash yourself properly, you have no right to bitch about smelling funny.

Some of you people are really being waaaaaaay too touchy about this discussion. You're reading what you want to read and disregarding the rest, then getting judgmental and accusing me of being a dick because of your selective comprehension.

 

[poopies]

that'd be like if someone said that they didn't like elvis costello's music and they don't know why, and i said "fuck you, elvis costello is amazing." which i think he is, but that's not a fact.

Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a proven scientific fact that Elvis Costello is amazing, so the comparison to liking feet doesn't really hold

 

[ViperGTS]

Whatever you say, man. You have your opinon and I have mine, and in my opinion, if someone dislikes something, they should have a reason for it. "I don't know" and "I just do" are cop-outs. No amount of namecalling from someone like you is going to change that either.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Whatever you say, man. You have your opinon and I have mine, and in my opinion, if someone dislikes something, they should have a reason for it. "I don't know" and "I just do" are cop-outs. No amount of namecalling from someone like you is going to change that either.

Wanna ride along in my truck?

 

[ViperGTS]

Wanna ride along in my truck?

HA! You know, it took me a few seconds to figure out what you meant.

You evil, evil man.

 

[Mephistopheles]

HA! You know, it took me a few seconds to figure out what you meant.

You evil, evil man.

 

[kis123]

The very section of my post that you quoted for this question, answers it.

Well, I'm a little confused, but it doesn't take much for me these days. If you had any idea of what's been going on in my world, you'd be surprised I even remembered the link to get here! That's why I took a mini-hiatus and may do so again.

At the end of the day, we have now stepped into agree to disagree land. The good news is that we managed to do it without blowing up an entire thread.

*handshakes to you*

And kis is moving it forward folks.................

Peace out!!

 

[Mitchell]

As someone who liked feet long before I even realized I liked tickling, I can chime in here.

Of the women I've come across who dont like having their feet touched, they have told me it is for a variety of reasons. One is that their feet are too ticklish, and they cant stand the idea of the tickling sensation. Two, is that, from childhood, society is taught that feet are gross, and smell, and such. Third, could also be the idea, that many girls dont like the idea of their partners being fixated on one particular body part. They think "Wow, he cant become excited, unless he touches my feet, I dont like that". Therefore, they resist the idea of allowing guys to touch their feet, etc.

As anyone who knows me for the last seven years is aware, I have a major foot fetish. I dont think I could be happy in a relationship with someone who said "Mitch, you can never touch my feet". That to me would be completely cutting away something that has been a part of me since I was a child. I can more live with being with a girl who wouldnt want to be tickled every day, then I could being with someone who would refuse to let me touch her feet, ever. If that is how she feels, fine, but she would not be the right girl for me to be with.

As with anything, this is a personal issue, and everyone has different preferences. It is important to try and be true to one's own views, while understanding and respecting the rights of others views, even if we dont agree with them, and the others views differ from those of our own.

Mitch