Knox The Hatter
2nd Level Indigo Feather
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2003
- Messages
- 6,351
- Points
- 0
This one I found forwarded to Mrs. Knox from her best friend...
DEAR DIARY:
9/1
Moved to my new home in New Jersey It is so beautiful here. The town is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered in snow. I LOVE IT HERE!
10/14
New Jersey is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange and yellow. Went for a ride through the farm land and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE!
11/21
Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it snows soon. I LOVE IT HERE!
12/2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by, I had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place! Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE!
12/12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again, the rascal. A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE!
12/19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snowplow!
12/22
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits till I'm done shoveling. That asshole!
12/25
"White Christmas" my busted ass! More goddamned snow.
If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the dumb bastard. I don't know why they don't use more salt on this friggin' ice.
12/28
More of the same last night. Been inside since Christmas Day except for when Snowplow Harry comes by. Can't go anywhere, the car is buried in a mountain of white shit, and the weatherman says expect another ten inches tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow ten inches is?
1/1
Happy Goddamned New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We got 19 inches of snow this time. At this rate, it won't melt till the 4th of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and Shit For Brains had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him that I broke six shovels already, shoveling out the snow he plowed into my driveway. I then broke the 7th shovel over his fucking head.
1/4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way, a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the bastard. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.
5/3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is rotting away from all the friggin' salt they keep dumping all over the roads! It really looks awful
5/10
Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right fucking mind would want to live in the God forsaken State of New Jersey.
____________________________
Happy Thanksgiving to all of the wonderful new friends I've made since registering last February. You're a great crew!
DEAR DIARY:
9/1
Moved to my new home in New Jersey It is so beautiful here. The town is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered in snow. I LOVE IT HERE!
10/14
New Jersey is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange and yellow. Went for a ride through the farm land and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE!
11/21
Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it snows soon. I LOVE IT HERE!
12/2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by, I had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place! Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE!
12/12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again, the rascal. A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE!
12/19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snowplow!
12/22
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits till I'm done shoveling. That asshole!
12/25
"White Christmas" my busted ass! More goddamned snow.
If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the dumb bastard. I don't know why they don't use more salt on this friggin' ice.
12/28
More of the same last night. Been inside since Christmas Day except for when Snowplow Harry comes by. Can't go anywhere, the car is buried in a mountain of white shit, and the weatherman says expect another ten inches tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow ten inches is?
1/1
Happy Goddamned New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We got 19 inches of snow this time. At this rate, it won't melt till the 4th of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and Shit For Brains had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him that I broke six shovels already, shoveling out the snow he plowed into my driveway. I then broke the 7th shovel over his fucking head.
1/4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way, a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the bastard. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.
5/3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is rotting away from all the friggin' salt they keep dumping all over the roads! It really looks awful
5/10
Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right fucking mind would want to live in the God forsaken State of New Jersey.
____________________________
Happy Thanksgiving to all of the wonderful new friends I've made since registering last February. You're a great crew!
