Why Are Grudges So Important

[DannyMc]

All of us have friends and enjoy the times we spend together with them . It can't really be said how a friendship is to be , only that all our friendships will be different . Some friendships are casual aquaintances , others may be getting together for dinner or club or even a game . Some friendships are by phone , computer or letters to keep up on our day to day activities . Deep friendships are built on a foundation of love , which trust is a very cherished part . Sometimes there can be misunderstandings or compromises that come along that put question into a friendship . You can feel at odds with your feelings , feelings of hurt and anger . Feelings of being let down or abandoned . Self pride can set in and blind people of all that the friendship envolves . We will refuse to speak with that person and all we will land up with is the voids of seperation and loneliness ................. The question being , why is it so hard to love again . Can we not take in all the friendship has and hold that as close as can be , not ever to let go . Can we really look aside and still keep the friendship no matter what . Is forgiveness what keeps are dearest friendships still with us our entire lives ?

 

[Headsnap]

Where have you plagarised this from?

 

[isabeau]

i don't believe in grudges anymore..life is too short..if someone doesn't like me anymore, what can i do? i'll hurt for a while, then move on..i used to hold grudges of sorts..but not any longer..

 

[BikerBadBoy]

i don't believe in grudges anymore..life is too short..if someone doesn't like me anymore, what can i do? i'll hurt for a while, then move on..i used to hold grudges of sorts..but not any longer..

I agree. That has always been the way I lived my life. I never try to please everyone. I just need to be true to myself. I've accepted the fact a long time ago that most people will NOT agree or like you. That's o.k. It's the few that do. The ones you make HONEST friendships with that matter.

 

[Ethical Edward]

Grudges=Negative Thinking
Negative Thinking=Negative Actions
Negative Actions=Trouble
Trouble=Regret

Is that how you want to live your life holding grudges and getting into trouble for them? The jails are full of people like that...and they nearly all regret what they did. Its not worth it. Thank you for listening.

 

[steph]

did you see "Indecent Proposal"? there's a great line in the end from Woody Harrelson's character: "Now I know that people who stay together do it not because they forget, but because they forgive..."

Pretty right on isn't it?
XOXO

Is forgiveness what keeps are dearest friendships still with us our entire lives ?

 

[DannyMc]

Headsnap , I'm sorry if you feel this was written by another , but in truth it was not . If you have something else you might want to say feel welcome to .

 

[storyteller]

Like EthicalEdward mentioned, grudges tend to lead to regret. I prefer to limit the amount of regret in my life. But, grudges are tricky because when you're hurting from the effects of another person's actions and/or words it might appear that you're holding a grudge when you're not meaning to. True friends weather disagreements because, ideally, they're themselves, for good and bad, with each other and they accept each other. Friendships can change, become less intense, or if with lovers and that aspect ends, return to a purely platonic state. I've had to break off one friendship with an alcoholic. It was an ironic and painful situation: to remain a true friend I had to walk away so that I wouldn't be an enabler.

 

[new2sceenbob]

grudges are important!

Grudges are important because of the immense harm they do to the person who holds them! A very wise man once said that if you hold a grudge then "you are just beating yourself up with the club of anger that you intended to use on someone else"! After all, the person that you hold the grudge against doesn't care how you feel, and probably doesn't even know how you feel. It is the person that holds the grudge that burns with anger, and that only harms the grudge holder...

Sincerely,
Bob

 

[drew70]

Danny, that was a very thoughtful and well written post. Jealous reactions are to be expected. My philosophy is that it is better to let go of grudges than to hold on to them. I'd be lying if I were to claim 100% success, but I still think it's a worthwhile pursuit. I heard a truism on some TV show a while back that makes sense to me. A person isn't who he was during your last conversation with him. He's who he's always been.

 

[Deadsea7777]

The question being , why is it so hard to love again . Can we not take in all the friendship has and hold that as close as can be , not ever to let go . Can we really look aside and still keep the friendship no matter what . Is forgiveness what keeps are dearest friendships still with us our entire lives ?

Go pick up a piece of A4 paper, roll and crush it to a ball, then try to put it the way it was before, is impossible no matter what you do, or at lest very hard.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Interesting subject matter, Danny.

Right now, I'm rethinking the relationship I've had with my best friend, so all these questions do apply. Yes, the most important underpinning is Love. And that Love makes you tend to overlook things that the friend does...but eventually, someday, you don't overlook things anymore. Love needs to be fed, really, because it's gonna frickin' starve to death.

Thanks for making me think.

 

[MrMacphisto]

Ask the Palestinians -- they seem to be experts on this topic. Personally, I think grudges are stupid, but yeah... everybody falls prey to them at some point.