Specifically, who are you concerned that friends, coworker's and family may find out you belong to this site?
I know it's probably the exact opposite of the answer you're looking for, but I'm not. Most of my friends know I do this, and none of them care. Some of them have even referred new models to me; it's how I met Lina, Patience, Catherine, Priti, and probably a few others I can't recall right now. Hell, I was out watching a band perform the other night that a friend had booked, and after I posted a picture of the performing vocalist on Facebook, said vocalist friended me and eventually found my Instagram. She's following me now, and has expressed interest in being in a video.
The only reason I blur out my face in videos (or, before I had the ability to do that, use a mask) was because people here are so vocal about fugly dudes. I realize my experience may be different than most, seeing as how everyone in the land of fruits and nuts is kinky in some way or another, but still. Three and a half years in the biz and not a single person IRL has so much as batted an eye.
* Edited after I've had a chance to read the rest of the thread...
I can relate to "confessing" to women you were close to, though. That's how some of my lady pals found out. I mean, they'd find out some other way, usually because they'd be all like, "What do you do in your spare time?", and once I'd run the gamut of all my hobbies they'd usually home in on the "video editing" part, and eventually we'd be talking about Sole Mates. And,
without fail, every single time, they'd turn the discussion towards their own feet. Either fishing for compliments or outright asking me what kind of feet I liked and trying to get me to admit I liked theirs, or in the opposite direction going off about how they hated feet and blah blah blah.
At that point, basically you can do one of three things. You can shrug and say "To each their own", especially if they admit they hate feet (I usually segue and say "Yeah, and while we're on the subject... sex? Bleurgh! You pee out of that thing!", and then they laugh and it's over with), you can get all squirmy and shameful and stammer "I, uh, like your feet", which probably will make them uncomfortable, or you say "yass gurl, your feet are totally hot", which may or may not be received well. The thing is, it's a good screening mechanism. If the woman in question is comfortable with you being attracted to her, even if the feeling isn't mutual, she won't have a problem with it. If she
is uncomfortable... well, I'm not going to say "it's her problem, not mine", even though it is... but if she's not comfortable with it then it's a good thing you found out, and you should probably distance yourself from her anyway. You can't help who, or what, gets your dick hard. If she's going to call you out on it and be a bitch, cut her loose.
I've only ever really had two "people" give me shit over it. My mom, who was a fucking psycho to begin with, so she doesn't count, and a month or two ago when I got slapped down on the Twitters for approaching a fairly well-known YouTuber about collaborating. Some of her followers thought it'd be funny to make jokes at my expense. I didn't get pissy or defensive, though; I just laughed and told the guy that if he was serious, to go look up some of the producers who work with guys. That shut him up real quick, because it showed him that he wasn't able to bully me.
And that's what it is, when people try to shame you over something personal like this. Bullying. I'm old enough that I don't tolerate it and I call them out on their behavior. "What? Why do you think that's an appropriate thing to say? Why do you feel the need to shame me in front of the entire group? Do you actually want me as a friend, and to keep coming around? Because you're doing a shit job of showing it."
I'm not going to go so far as to say the shame is all in your head, because it's not. Not everyone is so rock solid in what they're into, and I'm lucky in that I've had a lot of support from friends and loved ones over the years. But accepting the basic tenets of being an adult, like standing up for yourself and recognizing that not everyone is going to be okay with you or some aspects of you, goes a
long way towards acceptance. I think one thing that's huge in this community is that people are way too willing to take shit from outsiders because somehow they feel like they deserve it. Like, "I'm a pervert and people call me a pervert and they're right, so I need to hide in the corner and let them abuse me." And that's a far, far deeper problem than just liking tickling.
