Why I am ashamed of my tickling fetish

[kcantankerous]

Hello all,

I have thought about this many times. Why am a so reluctant to reveal to my friends about my tickling fetish? I think I am beginning to learn one of the more weightier answers. It centers around the fact that I had tickled/ been tickled by other folks my age in my youth. Obviously when one is young, their isn't a sexual component to what I was doing then. I wasn't masturbating during that period. I simply did it because I thought it was fun. In that period I tickled both males and females my age spontaneously.

Once I hit puberty any tickling I did was specifically with girls. I all but stopped tickling male friends period. It had some spontaneity to it, but it did start to get more premeditated. Before puberty, I would dream about tickling from time to time. During puberty I dreamed about it quite often. That is about the time my foot fetish really started presenting itself.

As a kid, I found myself interested in the feet of ladies. It wasn't sexual to my recollection. I would go out of my way to notice, be it a teacher or my female peers. Again, once puberty my foot fetish became more ubiquitous. I began having wet dreams where tickling was involved in quite a few of them. The occasions where I tickled/ seldom got tickled were sometimes to gratify my sexual urges, but sometimes it was literally just fun.

My shame, I believe, is intense because I think it would be logical for my friends to think it was 100% sexual urge all the time. Let us be real, if your friend looked up your fetish on the internet they would most likely believe it was purely sexual. I really think it would just open up a can of worms to my detriment. Even so, the urge is pretty strong. When you have 95% tickling videos that you masturbate to mostly, that doesn't help one's cause too much with the vanilla world.

What would my guy friends, there are literally a few that may remember, think. Would they be able to understand that it was an urge that was not sexual in nature at that time? There was a time during puberty, where I was tickling my female cousins. It was mainly from the urge, but I actually became aroused as well. I felt horrible afterwards when I realized that.

Anyways, does anyone understand/identify with this conundrum? I am getting to the point where I fight the urge tooth and nail. Also, would my foot fetish also bring unwanted problems with my friendships with females? They may think that I am 100% turned on and get wierded out. The fact that sometime it is arousing, and sometimes it is purely a fun obsession creates problem too. I once dated a girl who hated for her feet to be touched, and hated to be tickled. We dated for about a year, and I literally touched her feet once for all of 3 minutes when I was trying to massage them. I gave her massages often, and there I accidentally caused ticklish reactions a few times. She knew I had a foot fetish, but her phobia of having her feet touched was just as strong.

Sorry for the ramble. Anyone have advice or shared concerns. I want to reveal to unburden myself mostly. Secondly, maybe some of my female friends might create opportunities for me. Then again, I may run a lot of them off. Anyways our thoughts are needed.

Thanks,

K

 

[Aeveirra]

To be honest, I'm not sure why you'd want to tell your friends about it.
You really don't have to. It's your personal preferences, and you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to.

I have been doing quite a bit of psychological research into tickling & foot fetishm the past few months, and I have identified a few important factors that make tickling a significantly more "powerful" ,paraphilla. And, have some insight into understanding its "behavioral influence" over people who are into it.


Tickling happends to be one of the most psychologically powerful kinks there are. As in, just hearing the word "tickle" is enough to make people who have this fetish feel uneasy, or nervous.
It has a profound effect on us.
Another thing, people who have a tickling fetish, tend to only be into tickling (and / or things relating to it, like feet) and they have this fetish (tickling) VERY strongly.
So, I totally understand agout "fighting urges" and what-not.


~~~~~ BUT, lets say you do decide to tell your friends;
You should be confident about it.
Tickling is one of the most normal kinks out there.
It's not gross, painful, messy, to weird, dangerous, or anything like that.

Most people (especially girls) will find it to be cute, fun, and maybe even sexy.
But they won't be weirded out by it (for the most part).
You should feel SO fortunate that your into tickling, and not something completely weird or gross.
Remember, there are a TON of messed up fetishes out there. Compared to almost anything else, tickling is the most normal out of all of them.

(I personally, am so thankful for being into this 😉 )
And most of my friends know about me. Also, cus I'm an artist and tend to draw tickle torture scenes 🙂 lol
But trust me dude, your friends will most likely not be Judgmental or mean about it.
If anything, they may just say its different / unique. .....or, they my try to tickle you and see what happens. ( whenever i tell this to a new guy Im dating, he almost always tickles me instantly) hah.
But no ones was ever weirded out by it. They all thought it was awesome. 😛
Like I said, it's be of the most normal kinks out there, and your friends probably have much more messed up sexual interests than you do.

I hope this was helpful got you <3
If you have any additional questions, or need advice about this stuff, feel free to send me a private message. I always respond to them 🙂

 

[TheMasterTouch]

I wouldn't worry too much about what you did when you were a kid. It's really no different from playing doctor and things like that. They probably don't even remember what you did back then.

I understand that you want people to know who you really are. I went through the same thing.You probably never encountered anyone else who had these fetishes and you couldn't understand why you get turned on by things that others don't. I remember talking to a kid I knew growing up, and he mentioned how "you know how you see a naked lady and you get hard?". I couldn't dare tell him that I got hard from seeing a woman's feet!

That being said, you have to learn that you don't need to reveal everything about yourself to everyone in your life. Be selective. My girlfriend gave a good rule of thumb about this: if the other person is revealing deeply personal things to you, then it's appropriate to share something deeply personal about yourself. Even then, you never know how they'll react. Some will be fascinated and / or curious and want to know more about it. Some won't understand it and think it's odd but will still accept you. Others will think it's weird and will never see you the same way again. And sometimes you'll think a person you know will react one way, and they'll be the complete opposite of what you expected. That's just the way life is.

I had my fetishes exposed when my ex-wife divorced me. To this day, I don't know who knows and who doesn't. It was humiliating when it happened, but eventually I realized it didn't matter. Part of growing older is learning to accept yourself. In the end, I gained confidence from the experience. I know some of my friends know about my fetishes now, and I'm sure they've told other people since they found out. And that's ok. Everybody has their "thing" and there's no reason to feel ashamed about it. Go out and live your life. When you find others to share in your journey (and you will!), embrace those people and be thankful. When you find people who can't accept who you are, just accept who THEY are and move on in your life. It's really as simple as that.

 

[kcantankerous]

I am thinking about talking about it in group therapy. Since it is such a big influence in my life, and one that I am currently ashamed of. They know there is something I am holding back from them. Perhaps it could start me down a road of acceptance. Seeing as my efforts to rid myself of the fetish failed.

Thanks,

K

 

[kcantankerous]

Thank you for being so kind Eve. I believe you have some accurate points. However, do you think the reactions you received would have been different if you were a male? Just curious.

K

 

[tickletherapist]

You might be interested if you learn more about tickle therapy concept that we are persistently promoting with our work.
In my opinion, honestly, tickling is nothing to be ashamed of. It's purely positive if you think positive about it. Because it's good for health and mood in the first place. It's fun and it's beautiful. It's about infectious smiles and laughter that we can give to each other.

Have a look at our channel on youtube, watch some clips, interviews of girls who tried it, read some articles and I hope it will make it more clear.
Especially this clip with the interview of Masha Fox:
Tickle Therapy - Masha Fox and her patient Sandra
Wish you all the best.

 

[kcantankerous]

Tickletherapist - I love your channel a great deal. Perhaps I might reference it as an example.


TMT - thank you so much for your input.

 

[Wolf]

I am thinking about talking about it in group therapy. Since it is such a big influence in my life, and one that I am currently ashamed of. They know there is something I am holding back from them. Perhaps it could start me down a road of acceptance. Seeing as my efforts to rid myself of the fetish failed.
Thanks,
K

What you share or choose not to share in group is up to you, and your fetish is no one's business but yours, and those you choose to share that information with.
As for this fetish being "different" somehow, it's not. It only feels that way because we don't know what's going on in other people's heads.
It's certainly no weirder, or stronger, or has any more impact on your life than any other fetish out there. It's just one you happen to have.
But it is a lot more fun.

 

[duderino84]

I make light of it. Some friends just know me as that friendly guy who likes tickling girls. But lately, I've kind of regressed with my tickling preference. It's one of these things where I honestly didn't get a very good foundation my teens for dating, so it's always been awkwardness (in trying to meet girls) topped off with awkwardness (trying to deal with tickling in a.....manner that works) to the point that I really don't want to date anymore after repeated attempts to "deal" with people just haven't worked. I'm just going to try to not bring it up and resume life and see if things change. And no, it doesn't matter if ppl know whatever about you, because you're the only one who knows you have the turn on.

 

[chicago]

I see no reason to tell friends unless you have a desire to play with them. The only people that really need to know are romantic interests and play partners. Depending on their level of kinkiness that will determine how you word things.

Confidence, even faking it when you're nervous, and explaining it in a lighthearted way, avoiding the word fetish usually does the trick for me. Coming across nervous or ashamed tends to temper the mood of the conversation to be more negative. If you are ashamed, it comes across like you think it's something bad and the other person may see it in that light as well if you approach it embarrassed.

Male or female, we all have to deal with rejection and the fear of being ridiculed. But if someone makes you feel bad about yourself over something as nominal as tickling, a turn on most of us can't control, is that not a red flag in general that that person is a major asshole? Lol

 

[Tenebrae]

In my opinion, this is our sexuality, and it is private. Some of my vanilla friends know about my fetishes, just like I know about their preferred fantasies, but in general my sexuality is firmly my own thing. I mean, how often do you hear your friends go about how much they like to sodomize each other, or cum in their girlfriend's faces?

This has nothing to do with shame. It is simply trying to be a decent person around my friends and colleagues. Yeah, they sure have noticed that I tend to tickle them a lot (my facebook is dead full of those party pictures where I playfully tickle attack a friend), but I don't need to mention that there is anything sexual behind it, do I? On the other hand should one of them find out, I think I'd be very open about it: "Yeah, I like that", like I did on a few occasion when my foot fetish got noticed.

When I was a child, my tickle fetish never really bothered me the way you describe. I was more worried about my sadism; I always had that constant concern that I would end up a serial killer or a "bad guy" in the broad sense. It proved also quite difficult to hide, with the amount of violence on display these days in popular entertainment.

When dating, I am usually extremely open about my fantasies, outright in the early stages. This way I do not waste time with a girl that will be a source of frustration. The worst that could happen, in my view, would be to end up stuck in a long-term relationship with someone who absolutely cannot bear them. Surprisingly, I seldom got rejected, only twice in my life did it not go well. I found out that most girls I have dated find bondage and tickling really exciting, and that this taste can be cultivated in the long run, even though they did not have this fantasy to begin with. My current 'lee and occasional 'ler (I am a switch, with a slight preference for being a 'ler) is such a case, and we've been together for the past six years.

 

[maniactickler]

I think people find it weird and childish. that's why id be completely embarrassed to have anyone one find out about it.

 

[duderino84]

I think people find it weird and childish. that's why id be completely embarrassed to have anyone one find out about it.

Weird and childish would be a defensive reaction on their part then? Some ppl don't want to mitigate nature and get angry at anything that may put them out of control.

 

[chicago]

Not everyone is going to see it like that and dealing with assholes is just a part of life. You'd rather them all be happy and you miserable? It's your life ultimately.

 

[duderino84]

In my opinion, this is our sexuality, and it is private. Some of my vanilla friends know about my fetishes, just like I know about their preferred fantasies, but in general my sexuality is firmly my own thing. I mean, how often do you hear your friends go about how much they like to sodomize each other, or cum in their girlfriend's faces?


When dating, I am usually extremely open about my fantasies, outright in the early stages. This way I do not waste time with a girl that will be a source of frustration. The worst that could happen, in my view, would be to end up stuck in a long-term relationship with someone who absolutely cannot bear them. Surprisingly, I seldom got rejected, only twice in my life did it not go well. I found out that most girls I have dated find bondage and tickling really exciting, and that this taste can be cultivated in the long run, even though they did not have this fantasy to begin with. My current 'lee and occasional 'ler (I am a switch, with a slight preference for being a 'ler) is such a case, and we've been together for the past six years.

Well, at least a few times. It was pretty interesting working in a band with one singer who claimed he was the "bull" (I think?) In a cuckold relationship. Got old after the 5th or so time.

Me too. But I meet a bunch who really don't understand it even tho they try to be open. Some people really don't get the idea that if I say I like tickling, well, that means it's gonna tickle! Or that I like making them laugh. Guaranteed it's got some stories I'll look back and laugh at one day but man did it generate a lot of frustration when I was trying. I did tickle an insanely ticklish preacher once tho, it was fun while it lasted. Idk lol maybe I should be the Lee and then switch it up?

 

[Tenebrae]

Lol, a preacher?? I am sorry, but I've gotta ask: did you play any "Inquisition/Witch hunt" scenarios with him/her?

 

[duderino84]

Lol, a preacher?? I am sorry, but I've gotta ask: did you play any "Inquisition/Witch hunt" scenarios with him/her?

Lol some short lived miracles are born off OKCupid.....but no, I just tickled her. As much as I could've role played I kept it straight. She basically did some gospel blogging, radio interviews and Christian festivals.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

I thought the Opening Post was very well written and the issue was impressively articulated. I feel I grok it totally. Shame is a tough emotion to simply shrug off with a few platitudes. We are far too often our own worst enemies. But the fact that you can feel shame - that it's an emotion you're capable of - that alone speaks well of your character. The incidents of which you speak seem very mild from my point of view. Proper social behavior is a lifelong study, with most everything learned by trial and error. Most if not all of us have incidents in our past that make us cringe. I know I do.

I think that shame is a good thing for us to experience temporarily when we stray. But it should always be resolved in a learned lesson kind of way. If it isn't being resolved, you might spend some time and thought in considering why that's not happening.

 

[duderino84]

Unresolved shame. .....like knowing you fetishize women before you meet them because you're horny and consequently don't meet them? That sort? I'd think that's common.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Unresolved shame. .....like knowing you fetishize women before you meet them because you're horny and consequently don't meet them? That sort? I'd think that's common.

Well, this is just my opinion and my own personal philosophy for whatever it's worth. But I don't feel shame for what goes through my mind. I'll take responsibility for what I say and do, but what I think about is nobody's business but my own. I meet a beautiful woman and it's pretty well guaranteed that I will indulge a fantasy scenario or two about her. I sometimes put it this way: "Wow! She is mega-hot. That's it. I've made my decision. I'm having sex with her at my place tonight - whether she's there or not!"

However you speak as though fetishizing women before you meet them somehow precludes meeting them? Can you elaborate on that? I'm not quite following you, there.

 

[duderino84]

I get really stuck in my head on a daily basis but I'll check someone out and see if I can just imagine. ...whatever. and that same thing just turns me away because I think add well, "ya that's probably really uncommon for her."

 

[kcantankerous]

Hello all,

I have begun to tell a select number of female friends about my fetish. So far I have told five of them. They all say there is nothing for me to worry about. Two of them found it really cute. I will continue to slowly reveal to my closer female friends and let y'all know how it goes. I literally copied my first post and pasted it in my text to them.

K

 

[chicago]

Wow, that's an extreme about face and also a lot of female friends

 

[CurtWild]

Personally, it would be an odd thing to reveal to someone I'm not interested in

 

[kcantankerous]

Hello All,

I am simply trying to determine if my vanilla friends think I am crazy. I set it up first, I don't just post what I wrote here without first asking if they felt comfortable giving me an opinion. I am scared that I might creep any of them out. However, this obsession is a part of me, which is why I am slowly revealing it to people I care about. Hoping it doesn't blow up in my face. It most certainly will. I am only revealing to my female friends that I am close too

It helps that I don't actively, or passively try to tickle any of them or such. I have admitted that there were many times in which I wanted to though. Most of them seem to think it is more sexual for me. I'd say it is more half and half.

Thanks

K