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Why is having friends so important to most people?

N

NonConTickler

TMF Regular
Joined
Nov 24, 2006
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I don't understand why having friends is so important to most people, and that if you have no friends there's something "wrong" with you. I have no friends. There are people I talk to at work and I don't count them as friends. I have come to realize that all my life I have only seen people as a means to an end, but when I was younger (I'm 35) I didn't know how to put it into words. Even if I enjoy someone's company, they are a means to an end. I am using them to make me feel good. The end result is always how I feel. I have had friends in the past, and I found it inconvenient because eventually I would do something they didn't like or vice versa. I would have to "compromise" and do things I didn't always feel like doing. I don't think there is anything "wrong" with me just because I have made the rational decision that if I have to take the bad times with the good times when it comes to having friends, that I would rather not have either. I don't think there is anything "wrong" with making the rational decision to pass up any good times with people, in order to avoid the bad times. It's just a matter of priorities. To most people I guess, the good times are a higher priority so the bad times are worth it. To me, avoiding things the feel unpleasant as much as humanly possible is my highest priority in life. To me there isn't anything "wrong" with having made that rational decision.
 
You're a little young to be a crotchety old man.

Seriously, are you acting like this on purpose? After that relationship thread I'm starting to think you're actively trying to make people dislike you.
 
Fire Sprite said:
You're a little young to be a crotchety old man.

Seriously, are you acting like this on purpose? After that relationship thread I'm starting to think you're actively trying to make people dislike you.
Click to expand...

^Agreed


You don't like the fact that you have to make compromises in relationships, be they romantic or platonic? No wonder you don't have friends. I hate to say that because it sounds harsh, but life is full of compromise. Give in a little and you may discover something new and exciting that you never knew about.

As for why I find friends essential to my life, its quite simple.

1. We all love companionship
2. Friends are great supporters during tough times
3. Its more fun to share your life with others than sped it sequestered away in solitude.
 
Noncon, you should read Kant's account of friendships. A lot of what you say echos some things he wrote about.

Anyway, if you're being earnest, I don't see anything wrong with you, it's your choice and you can do what you want. In some respects I agree with you that many things we view as good or proper boil down to self-interest.

Although I have to say, this post and many other of your posts give me the impression that you're just looking for attention. So maybe you're not enjoying isolation as much as you want us to think.
 
Perduabo said:
^Agreed


You don't like the fact that you have to make compromises in relationships, be they romantic or platonic? No wonder you don't have friends. I hate to say that because it sounds harsh, but life is full of compromise. Give in a little and you may discover something new and exciting that you never knew about.

As for why I find friends essential to my life, its quite simple.

1. We all love companionship
2. Friends are great supporters during tough times
3. Its more fun to share your life with others than sped it sequestered away in solitude.
Click to expand...


I recognize the necessity of compromising if one chooses to pursue relationships with other people. I guess what I'm saying is I don't see the necessity of having relationships with other people in the first place. There are people I try to keep around in my life in case I need them for something, so those relationships are necessary unfortunately (unfortunately for me, I mean). But relationships with others just for its own sake, been there done that, didn't work for me. Also I believe that people are just out for themselves deep down. So the idea of people going out and partying, clubbing, etc with friends and acting like its so great, to me is just kind of phoney. I think a lot of people who go out with large groups of friends especially, just do it to be seen with large groups of friends so they look important.
 
One man's "rational decision" is another man's pipe dream...

Seems you want the agreement from others that you have made a logical and rational choice..

Why do you "need" our opinions..

If you need no friends tha you certainly dont need input from strangers...
 
venray said:
One man's "rational decision" is another man's pipe dream...

Seems you want the agreement from others that you have made a logical and rational choice..

Why do you "need" our opinions..

If you need no friends tha you certainly dont need input from strangers...
Click to expand...

Well I didn't say other people can't be useful. I guess I do like talking about myself and my views on things as I am very self-absorbed, and yes I guess feedback from others is necessary in order to get any real satisfaction from talking about my views. The internet is ideal for someone like me then, because I can just have a discussion on my terms, put it down and pick it up again when it is convenient for me. Much less inconvenient than dealing with people in person.
 
NonConTickler said:
Well I didn't say other people can't be useful. I guess I do like talking about myself and my views on things as I am very self-absorbed, and yes I guess feedback from others is necessary in order to get any real satisfaction from talking about my views. The internet is ideal for someone like me then, because I can just have a discussion on my terms, put it down and pick it up again when it is convenient for me. Much less inconvenient than dealing with people in person.
Click to expand...

okay then...to answer your original question..most people like getting their feedback on a more personal level and that is where friends come in....

most like to talk one on one with a close personal friend from time to time to get an honest opinion on things....
 
Having friends is important to me because then I don't feel alone! It's that simple!
I love knowing I can call up my friends to chat, hang out, or make stupid movies! We have FUN together ... and if you are into tickling and on a tickling website I'm sure you know and like fun! 🙂

True we have our bad times and our fights. But that's what makes us stronger individually and together. I get depressed when I feel like I have no one to talk to or no one cares so I guess I just can't understand where you are coming from? Sorry!

I mean, I guess if you like being alone and no friends that's cool too.
I feel like you are living in the mountains in a log cabin all by yourself ... I hope that's not the case! ...Unless you want it to be the case? ... hah
 
Its normal human nature to run with a pack\group for safety, comradeship, and other big words
 
Who needs friends when you have WoW?

Friends are important because they provide you with a support network that you can turn to when things are tough, or when things are really good. If you don't have friends that you feel you can turn to, then they probably aren't real friends.

I'm not one to really hang out in big groups. I like to just chill out with one or two people, and even when we go out and smash up the city, I still prefer to go in smaller groups.

You're lucky if you go through life with 3 or even 4 lifelong friends. And it's important to maintain those relationships, because at the end of the day, these people are the ones who know you best, and who understand you for who you are.

Sometimes I get the impression that people hide themselves within bigger groups, like individually these people are really cool, but once in a group situation, all the sudden that person has one fifth of a personality that makes up the group.

I dunno, maybe I'm just rambling...but hey, I just hit 1000 posts!

-Xionking
 
Could be attention seeking, but at the same time, some people just prefer to keep their life centered around number one. I don't think there's anything wrong with it... but on a board full of people who have bonded over shared interests and formed friendships I wouldn't accept a whole lot of people to agree with you, NonCon.

I personally enjoy the company of my friends very much. I think a life without true friends would be a lonely one. But that's just me.
 
There's a biological reason why friendships are important - traditionally, increasing friendships and decreasing antagonisms gave members of our species an evolutionary advantage - they were able to rely on others for help, be it with food, mating, etc, and were therefore more likely to survive and pass on offspring.

This is an interesting read...
http://goliath.ecnext.com/coms2/gi_0199-6780881/The-science-of-friendship-where.html
 
troller.jpg
 
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