Why is it not ok for a man to hit a women?

[Korastus]

It's not recent, but I remember it well.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

Ah, not recent.. gotcha..

 

[Cosmo_ac]

First off, I would like to say thanks to all of the people who posted a response. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting this many responses when i turned on my computer.

Second, big thanks for people keeping what could deffinitly be seen as a controversial thread pleasently civil. Keep up the good work people!

 

[DianaBanana88]

guys tend to be more powerful and to have bad tempers. With a bad temper comes power and i doubt i could handle a dude hitting me. Some girls can hit but they tend to kick more or scratch lol

 

[stroker]

The only time I have ever been punched in the face in the pub was by a woman .It was totally unprovoked ( She had " Issues " ) I did not hit her back. I have seen way more woman hitting men than vice versa. a female friend I recently discussed this very topic with put it this way . "Woman dont know the rules, guys know that if they get violent they are very likely to get hit back." But lets face it equality doesnt mean equality in this situation what it means is Its ok for women to act like macho pricks ( A.K.A having " attitude ") whilst fully expecting the reaction to be as if they are soft little girlies. Whenever I see a woman threatening a man with violence I always think Yeah its easy to be tough towards someone when you know that a)they cant respond in kind and b) any man within earshot who wants to get into your pants is going jump to your rescue if things dont go to plan.

 

[natural tickler]

why you ask??

because it just isn't ok to hit a lady...takes more of a man to walk away than to strike back...but having said that, I'll say this


now if the hit was done in the heat of passion, emotions took over, and somethin I truly did to get hit, then I'll let it slide

BUT

if a lady is hitting just for show, or otherwise, then if she is man enough to hit, she man enough to take one....Mom aint raised no punching bag


my .02

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Erm--

if a lady is hitting just for show, or otherwise, then if she is man enough to hit, she man enough to take one....Mom aint raised no punching bag


my .02

Don't you think you'd feel like a little bit of a douche if the lady "hitting for show" happens to duff you one that feels like gettin' hit by paper & then you return w/ a straight out fist'cuff back?

Somethin' about what I quoted you saying isn't sittin' right w/ me.. prolly just can't word it proper, atm.

 

[Bothersome]

Don't you think you'd feel like a little bit of a douche if the lady "hitting for show" happens to duff you one that feels like gettin' hit by paper & then you return w/ a straight out fist'cuff back?

Somethin' about what I quoted you saying isn't sittin' right w/ me.. prolly just can't word it proper, atm.

I don't know that he meant that he would just lash out at a girl who wasn't hitting him very hard.

I don't think that many people that agree with me would actually punch a girl. I would certainly try and restrain her before hitting her... but the moral of the thread is that you have to pick your fights wisely. If you're 110 lbs, what business do you have punching a lumberjack?

 

[chicago]

Give her a pair of Irish sunglasses.

 

[badreligion]

guys tend to be more powerful and to have bad tempers. With a bad temper comes power and i doubt i could handle a dude hitting me. Some girls can hit but they tend to kick more or scratch lol

I'm sorry but that is the most ludicrous statement ever . Tempers aren't based on being male or female because I have seen some females with very short tempers and if you don't believe me just look up Lorena Bobbit .

 

[Marquis De Sade]

I'm sorry but that is the most ludicrous statement ever . Tempers aren't based on being male or female because I have seen some females with very short tempers and if you don't believe me just look up Lorena Bobbit .

Perhaps she meant testosterone? 😕

 

[Bothersome]

Perhaps she meant testosterone? 😕

Both genders produce testosterone. Men just happen to produce ten times more of it. Besides, I don't think that that particular hormone plays a significant role in anger issues. Otherwise, all men would have tempers. Anger management varies from person to person, not gender to gender.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Both genders produce testosterone. Men just happen to produce ten times more of it. Besides, I don't think that that particular hormone plays a significant role in anger issues. Otherwise, all men would have tempers. Anger management varies from person to person, not gender to gender.

Yeah. I was curious so I just looked it up, couldn't find a study that says for sure it links to aggression.

Oh well. A threat is a threat.

 

[C.A.B.]

Because a real man's control begins with himself. Without that, he is not a man.

 

[Bothersome]

Because a real man's control begins with himself. Without that, he is not a man.

The same thing applies to any human being.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Bothersome, I'm curious. Do you think it's a nature thing or a nurture thing? I believe (believe being the operative word here), that personally, even without having ever been told "it's wrong", I would just *feel* like a sack of crap if I punched a girl in the face.

In fact, I can't actually remember ever being told that. It just seems inherit. I will say again though that if a girl was coming at me with a weapon and I felt truly threaten, I would probably deck her.

Any other case though, it just doesn't feel justified.

What IS that?

 

[Bothersome]

Bothersome, I'm curious. Do you think it's a nature thing or a nurture thing? I believe (believe being the operative word here), that personally, even without having ever been told "it's wrong", I would just *feel* like a sack of crap if I punched a girl in the face.

In fact, I can't actually remember ever being told that. It just seems inherit. I will say again though that if a girl was coming at me with a weapon and I felt truly threaten, I would probably deck her.

Any other case though, it just doesn't feel justified.

What IS that?

I'd feel like a sack of crap if I punched anyone in the face. You never specified on whether or not they deserved it, in which case my feelings on it may change. If a woman has provoked me to the point where I'm forced to use physical violence, then she deserves it just as much as any guy would.

It certainly isn't nature, at any rate. Look throughout the natural world. I can list PLENTY of species where the female is dominant, and in many cases kills the male after breeding. Female mosquitos are the only ones that feed on blood. Female mantises eat the heads of their mates. Lionesses do all the hunting. Ants and Bees are all centralized around their queens. The list goes on.

It's a human thing. To be more specific, it's a cultural thing. Personally? I'm all for equality. That means that there isn't any special treatment or priveledges for either gender.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

It's ok for a man to hit a man, and its ok for a girl to hit a girl, and its ok for a girl to hit a man...

In what country is it okay? The US has laws against assault and battery and I'm pretty sure Canada does as well.

Sorry to rain on your parade, but none of that is okay.

but it's not ok for a guy to hit a girl. In fact, it's not just ok. If a guy hits a girl, 10,000 pregnant ladies somewhere miscarriage and a building blows up.

Er. Just for future reference, maybe you shouldn't believe everything you read and hear.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think anybody should beat up anybody,

Wait a minute, you just named THREE instances in which somebody hitting someone else was "ok." I think you are getting yourself wrong.

but there seems to be this double standard that exists. On one hand, I can understand it. If i was to beat up a 125lbs guy, that would be pretty bad. However, if i was to beat up a 125lbs girl, apparently that would be so much worse. So, I guess i'm wondering, should the "girls are weak and pathetic and unable to protect themselves" mentality still exist, or are we ready to move beyond that as a society?

So you're essentially saying that in order for society to progress to a more civilized plateau, we need to be okay with men hitting women?

That's great, Cosmo. You're a real "progressive," dude.

 

[kopfhorer]

Only reason I can see for hitting anyone (of either sex) is if they are threatening you. I mean genuinely threatening life and limb.

 

[Cosmo_ac]

Bothersome, I'm curious. Do you think it's a nature thing or a nurture thing? I believe (believe being the operative word here), that personally, even without having ever been told "it's wrong", I would just *feel* like a sack of crap if I punched a girl in the face.

In fact, I can't actually remember ever being told that. It just seems inherit. I will say again though that if a girl was coming at me with a weapon and I felt truly threaten, I would probably deck her.

Any other case though, it just doesn't feel justified.

What IS that?

I would also agree it's a cultural thing, not a genetic thing. In many societies, it is still acceptable to hit your wife or daughter. Even in western society it was legal (i believe) until probably the last 100-200 years ago to hit your wife. I'd have to do some research on that to get a particuler number, though I do remember a movie making reference to being able to hit your wives with a stick so long as it was no thicker then your thumb.

 

[Cosmo_ac]

After a little bit of research, I found some information.

1824 A decision by the Mississippi Supreme Court in Bradley v. State 2 Miss.
(Walker) 156 (1824), allows a husband to administer only "moderate chastisement in cases of emergency. . ." 3 4

1829 In England, a husband's absolute power of chastisement is abolished. 5

1845 Sweden passes an Inheritance Law that gives women and men equal inheritance rights. 4

1857 A Massachusetts court is the first to recognize the spousal rape exemption. The court in Commonwealth v. Fogerty, relies solely on Lord Hale's staement (1500's) in recognizing in dictum that marriage to the victim was a defense to rape. 3

1861 John Stuart Mill writes The Subjection of Women, but waits 8 years to publish it because he did not think the public was ready to accept his essay. 3 He pleads for Parliament to reform the divorce laws to allow women to divorce on the grounds of violence and cruelty. 1

1866 The Amerian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is formed. It predates the founding of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, established in 1875. Both predate any organization aimed at preventing cruelty to women. 3

1867 A man in North Carolina is acquitted of giving his wife three licks with a switch about the size of one of his fingers, but smaller than his thumb. The reviewing appellate court later upheld the acquittal on the grounds that the court should "not interfere with family government in trifling cases." 4

1868 The Treaty of 1868 is negotiated between General Sherman and the Navajos. General Sherman insists that the Navajos select male leaders, thereby stripping women of their ability to participate in decision making. The alien law destroys traditional relationships and concentrates power in the hands of male leaders. "Anglo" paternalism and patriarchy are introduced to Navajo men who learn several "traditions" including robbing women of economic and political power, and wife-beating. 4

1871 Alabama is the first state to rescind the legal right of men to beat their wives (Fulgrahm v. State) 3 Massachusetts also declares wife beating illegal. 5

1874 The "finger-switch" rule is disavowed when the Supreme Court of North Carolina rules that "the husband has no right to chastise his wife under any circumstances." The court goes on to say, "If no permanent injury has been inflicted, nor malice, cruelty nor dangerous violence shown by the husband, it is better to draw the curtain, shut out the public gaze and leave the parties to forget and forgive." 4

1878 Francis Power Cobbe publishes Wife Torture in England. She denounces the treatment of wives in Liverpool's "Kicking District." She documents 6,000 of the most brutal assaults on women over a 3 year period who had been maimed, blinded, trampled, burned and murdered. Cobbe presents a theory that abuse continues because of the belief that a man's wife is his property. 3, 5 Her concerns are moved forward by male parliamentarians and the Matrimonial Causes Act is passed. The Act allows victims of violence to obtain a legal separation from the husband; entitles them custody of the children; and to retain earnings and property secured during the separation. Such a separation order can only be obtained if the husband has been convicted of aggravated assault and the court considers her in grave danger. 1

1880's In England, the law is changed to allow a wife who had been habitually beaten by her husband to the point of "endangering her life" to separate from him, but cannot divorce him. 3

1882 Maryland is the first state to pass a law that makes wife-beating a crime, punishable by 40 lashes, or a year in jail. 3

1886 A lower court in North Carolina, as a result of the 1874 North Carolina Supreme Court ruling, declares that a criminal indictment cannot be brought against a husband unless the battery is so great as to result in permanent injury, endanger life and limb, or be malicious beyond all reasonable bounds. 4

1890 North Carolina Supreme Court removes the last of the restrictions on a husband's liability and prohibits a husband from committing even a slight assault upon his wife. 4

1894 The right to administer moderate chastisement is overruled in Mississippi in Harris v. State, 71 Miss. 462 (1894). 3, 4

1895 The Married Women's Property Act (in England) makes conviction for assault sufficient grounds for divorce. 5

Late 1800's Courts begin to show signs that they might hold husbands responsible and found guilty of marital rape. In 1899, a Louisiana court in State v. Dowell condemns a husband's participation in the rape of his wife by a third party. 3
With Queen Victoria's ascension to the English throne, lawmakers begin enacting reforms regarding women. Wives can no longer be kept under lock and key, life threatening beatings are considered grounds for divorce, and wives and daughters can not longer be sold into prostitution. 3

1905 In Texas, Frazier v. State, a husband is convicted of assault with the intent to commit rape. The appellate court overturns the conviction by essentially restating Lord Hale's rule of immunity (1500's). 3

1911 The first family court is created in Buffalo, NY. In 1914, the first adult psychiatric clinic is directly linked to a court in Chicago. Professionals believe that domestic relations courts will better solve family problems in a setting of discussion and reconciliation engineered by social service intervention. This is the beginning of the systematic offical diversion and exclusion of violence against wives from the criminal justice system. 1

http://www.mincava.umn.edu/documents/herstory/herstory.html

 

[Cosmo_ac]

Because a real man's control begins with himself. Without that, he is not a man.

The question i'm wondering though, is "why"? I mean, if your saying that a man who has no control of their violent impulses against anybody isn't a man, then ok. But if your saying that a man who can control themselves only when dealing with a women is a man, I'm curious as to why we feel that way.

FYI, i'm not talking about spousal abuse here. Anybody who engages in spousal abuse, male or female, has deffinitly lost control, as thats what spousal abuse tends to be about. Control.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

But it is violent, illegal, and it is abuse whether they are married or not.

It was wrong when I did it, but again, if I feel the need to punch somebody, I am fully aware that they might hit me back and have a right to regardless of whether they are male or female.

I think that when defending yourself the law talks about "like" force. Meaning, if I slap you (which, I don't do the slapping thing. Too girly 😛), you can't hit me back with your car. LOL LOL

It isn't ok to hit anybody. For years we have taught our boys at a young age just not to hit girls. It's considered weak, and the guy is considered a coward. So, I agree that society has done that. BUT- I have also pulled girls to the side and told them, "You need to keep your hands to yourself. Don't expect a boy to just let you put your hands on them just because you are a girl. Someone is going to knock you out!"

Many stop and listen, and some... well- usually I hear later on down the line that a boy got tired of it and POW!

I'm sure when feminism started, fighting for the right to get your ass beat by a man wasn't exactly what women had in mind. 😉

 

[Bothersome]

It isn't ok to hit anybody. For years we have taught our boys at a young age just not to hit girls. It's considered weak, and the guy is considered a coward. So, I agree that society has done that. BUT- I have also pulled girls to the side and told them, "You need to keep your hands to yourself. Don't expect a boy to just let you put your hands on them just because you are a girl. Someone is going to knock you out!"

This is more or less my stance on the matter.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Yet there's also an almost double standard about this. Men are told it's never ok to hit a woman, BUT if she were to kick his ass, he would be considered less of a man because he got beat up by a girl.