Why oh why..........?

[venray]

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
(and what an insult to our Heavenly Father.)

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart and then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
(and what an insult to our Heavenly Father.)

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart and then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

1.) Because theres a desperate hope that pressing harder somehow makes things better and more likely to work, when in fact, the actions are in vain and probably make the condition of the remote worse.

2.) Its a professional scam.

3.) Because they're just taking your word for it. With the paint, its more tangible, and so they can directly call you on it.

4.) Most likely because the lid was not kept on tight enough or because of negligence.

5.) Because somehow its considered more human, when the act of taking a life in general is not, and therefore the whole thing is a farse.

6.) Because a beard is not aerodynamic. Could you imagine his beard slowing him down in mid-air? I could. And it must get tangled in stuff as well.

7.) Because while he is of super-human strength, he still has human reactions. Subconciously he must know theres no way for him to stop a bullet in mid-flight, so he doesn't try to. A heavy gun or some other munition is another matter altogether and bullets are less of a nuisance to him, so he just lets them be rather than avoiding them.

8.) Most probably because they want to make sure they survive long enough to deliver the payload. Say for example one gets shot in the head somehow, in mid-flight. If the bullet somehow doesn't kill him, and the plane is still in the air, he might just make it to the target. Obviously if he dies, the plane will crash prematurely, and his Red, commi friends wouldn't be happy about that.

9.) Most probably a man, or woman, who suffers from such a thing. Its easier to believe this and then discribe it to people who do not have one. As clearly people who do not have a lisp would not think to create a word for it that sounds like the actual problem and is indentifiable as a quirk.

10.) Common day science would have it that while we evolved from apes, we are a different species in and of ourselves, whereas the original strand only evolved so far, to the point that we know. (And yes, the idea is a blasphemy under the Lord 😀)

11.) It might. People often tidy up for company because they're paranoid sometimes and think perhaps that if all things look ok, they are, even if they aren't. The same would hold true for a faulty computer. But the chances of company wanting to use your computer are not likely, as most gettogethers are of a social nature involving actual people, not machines and technology. We have the internet for that.

12.) Now there could be a number of reasons for this both of which possibly have to do with the fact bubbles are translucent and most bathtubs are white or some other offset color.

13.) Yes, in fact. If you actually go to the stores you'll see for yourself. Obviously their mattresses are more desirable if they're on sale, and one of the classic bait and switches is to use telivision to distort reality and make something more desirable than it actually is under the circumstances.

14.) Perhaps they know there is something there, but they were too lazy to get it the first time, most likely something that requires time or effort to prepare. I'd imagine they thought they'd be full with what they got the first time, only to realize that they need to make another return. Their going back and forth is actually them struggling, mentally, with their laziness. Its a battle they're either going to win or lose, and an unstatisfied stomach is whats at stake if they lose.


15.) Because they overestimated the power of their vaccum cleaning device. Perplexed by the fact the vaccum did not do it's job, they reach for the object, in this case string, examine it in contempt of it and the vaccum, put it down, and try to vaccum it again to resolve the dispute, which, if they would have been paying attention the first time, they know they cannot win. This person has alot in common with the person in #1, they should get together to discuss strategy.


16.) Its most likely jammed. Complaining about it won't help you. 😛


17.) Up and around or from the outside of the house, through the ceiling, and through the cracks from which the light fixture is attached. This is usually how yellow jackets or wasps end up in such things, flys, small spiders, and dead ants as well.

18.) Because we realize we're adults and shouldn't behave that way. If in all propability it was an honest mistake and accident, theres no reason to start a tiff over it. Damn Ray, you need anger management....anything sets you off, especially # 16 above 😛

19.) Because you aren't paying attention to your physical presence in relation to the objects around you. You therefore undercompensate for this by moving about and taking up too much space, therefore coliding with other objects in your path. You have no one to blame but yourself. Please don't start screaming at your furnature Ray...we know that didn't go well with the person in the supermarket or the ziplock bag...please...just don't go there...

20.) Because the temprature is affected by climate, and that often controls temprature. So even if it was as warm as it was in summer when we were complaining about it, it wasn't so much the heat, it was the conditions themselves aside from that, such as humidity.

21.) My guess is, its just not popular enough to mock or jest about. You'll notice a great ammount of our jokes are mother related. Without even knowing it, we've become joke-bias, and its only going to get worse I'm afraid...🙁

 

[venray]

Bravo!!!!!!!😀

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Were you actually expecting someone would do that? I wasn't and almost didn't do it.

 

[venray]

Of course I wasnt expecting it. Not everyone would undertake the disection and answering of 21 rhetorical questions received via an email from a friend. I cant wait to send your response back to her....

Well done!

Ray

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Really? LOL Thats something. Thank you, I guess. I hope she enjoys my....err....handywork? LOL I wasn't even going to do it, I've never done it before. I just figured it might be my only chance to joke with you like that. 🙂

 

[venray]

I am sure there will be other opportunities, my friend...

Ray 😀

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

I know, but they may not be like this. And others might get to it before I do. We've got alot of jokers on this forum afterall. I don't think I could possibly compete with them, as they've clearly been doing it longer than I have. 😀

 

[TKpervert]

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

An imponderable.

just use a dirty needle and forget the expensive chemicals.

 

[milagros317]

LOL 😛

By the way, some people in the supermarket do say "that hurt, you stupid idiot" or worse when you apologize for running into their ankle with a shopping cart. 😀

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Sometimes those people can be scary. But then you feel bad for them afterwards as you're both walking about. Sometimes my mind gets to wondering about the people I see in stores and such.

Sometimes I wonder what their story is, as clearly, upon short glances, some of them look really sad, mad, and ready to tear someone apart. Its clear in their body language.

Is it a failing marriage, or perhaps a custody battle?...it makes my heart hurt sometimes. Literally, I get this very subtle pain in my chest.

I know I shouldn't assume like that, or entertain a thought that may ultimately not hold any truth. But something tells me I'm not wrong when this happens. Its like theres a link to me and them in that moment, and I feel their pain.

Its beyond being just empathetic. Sometimes I wonder.