Why so serious?

[harry1000]

I've only recently (Saturday recently) stepped outside the tickle closet, although I've kept my hand on the handle just in case I need to leap back in quickly. But I was busy yesterday reading some of the posts from members about their own experiences in telling friends, parents and even work colleagues. But I was wondering whether the 'telling' was easier for girls than boys. Girls are generally more open and social than boys and I just wondered if that was the reason many boys (lets say males and females from now on - saying boys sounds a bit weird) had issues with opening up and talking to somebody, particularly when males have a tendency to mock. Telling a 'girl' friend would they always be more understanding and accepting? And for that matter would a female feel comfortable telling a 'male' friend (who was not into their scene) about their interest?

I appreciate I've made a few generalisations here but I would appreciate your opinions and comments.

"Why so serious?" How cool is that for a tickle site?

Take care all,

Harry1000

P.S.

I posed the same question to my British friends just in case their experiences show a difference in attitudes between the UK and USA.

 

[chicago]

I've only recently (Saturday recently) stepped outside the tickle closet, although I've kept my hand on the handle just in case I need to leap back in quickly. But I was busy yesterday reading some of the posts from members about their own experiences in telling friends, parents and even work colleagues. But I was wondering whether the 'telling' was easier for girls than boys. Girls are generally more open and social than boys and I just wondered if that was the reason many boys (lets say males and females from now on - saying boys sounds a bit weird) had issues with opening up and talking to somebody, particularly when males have a tendency to mock. Telling a 'girl' friend would they always be more understanding and accepting? And for that matter would a female feel comfortable telling a 'male' friend (who was not into their scene) about their interest?

I appreciate I've made a few generalisations here but I would appreciate your opinions and comments.

"Why so serious?" How cool is that for a tickle site?

Take care all,

Harry1000

P.S.

I posed the same question to my British friends just in case their experiences show a difference in attitudes between the UK and USA.

Why do you need to tell your friends, parents, colleagues, or classmates? I mean, they're not going to be the ones being tickled and/or tickling you. Unless you plan to date them, then yeah, they should know.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Why do you need to tell your friends, parents, colleagues, or classmates? I mean, they're not going to be the ones being tickled and/or tickling you. Unless you plan to date them, then yeah, they should know.

Truth.

But to answer your question in a sex/romance context, my guess is that it's easier for girls to admit it to potential partners than guys. If the old general tendency is true that girls are more selective than guys, then it's easy to imagine a guy being willing to accept it no problem.

Also, I would guess that it's easier for lees to find acceptance. Asking for somebody to do something to you is one thing, asking for permission to pseudo-torture somebody else? Horse of a different colour.

 

[Oni Dorei]

Why do you need to tell your friends, parents, colleagues, or classmates? I mean, they're not going to be the ones being tickled and/or tickling you. Unless you plan to date them, then yeah, they should know.

You don't have to date someone to tell them you have a tickling fetish. What's wrong with being open about something?

 

[Musicroxmysox]

Privacy is something to be guarded. The world doesn't need to know everything. I have never had any intentions of telling anyone and I don't plan to start now.

 

[chicago]

You don't have to date someone to tell them you have a tickling fetish. What's wrong with being open about something?

Tickling fetish is not widely accepted and it's a personal thing having to do with what turns you on. You think it wise to tell your friends and family and coworkers about your sex life? I mean, it's your decision, I just think it would only prove to make things awkward. Doubt they'd want to know anyway.

 

[TMF Jeff]

Tickling fetish is not widely accepted and it's a personal thing having to do with what turns you on. You think it wise to tell your friends and family and coworkers about your sex life? I mean, it's your decision, I just think it would only prove to make things awkward. Doubt they'd want to know anyway.

I agree, I don't want to know anything about my family's sex lives or fetishes or whatever.

 

[punkrockergirl]

I agree, I don't want to know anything about my family's sex lives or fetishes or whatever.

agreed that would be weird and uncomfortable

 

[Adam]

Tickling fetish is not widely accepted and it's a personal thing having to do with what turns you on. You think it wise to tell your friends and family and coworkers about your sex life? I mean, it's your decision, I just think it would only prove to make things awkward. Doubt they'd want to know anyway.

That's always how I've viewed it. Why do they even need to know? Or rather, why would you feel compelled to tell them? It's just not something they're likely to understand and has great potential to make you the butt of many a joke. 😱

 

[milagros317]

I agree, I don't want to know anything about my family's sex lives or fetishes or whatever.

That's the way I feel. Nor do family members have any need to know what I do.

I have a close friend (male) to whom I do talk about my fetish life and interests. The conversation one time naturally turned in that direction when he was describing the reasons for his divorce. It's good for me to have a friend not in the community I can talk to about it, but it's not essential to me.

 

[Oni Dorei]

Tickling fetish is not widely accepted and it's a personal thing having to do with what turns you on. You think it wise to tell your friends and family and coworkers about your sex life? I mean, it's your decision, I just think it would only prove to make things awkward. Doubt they'd want to know anyway.

Well I certainly wouldn't make t-shirts or anything like that declaring it, but you don't have to date your mom if she finds out. I mean if you guys are ashamed than be ashamed, but don't expect others to follow right behind you. I'm not ashamed. My family knows, and those who don't except it... Well I shrug because it doesn't bother me.

 

[sean901]

Well I certainly wouldn't make t-shirts or anything like that declaring it, but you don't have to date your mom if she finds out. I mean if you guys are ashamed than be ashamed, but don't expect others to follow right behind you. I'm not ashamed. My family knows, and those who don't except it... Well I shrug because it doesn't bother me.

I think its cool that your so chilled about it all, and that you completely accept it to a point where you are open to discuss it face to face with people, but i couldn't even begin to imagine how it would come up in conversation, or whatever, especially with family.
I think the only way i could ever talk openly about it with someone would be if that person shared a similar interest. Or possibly with someone i was in a relationship with, but even then i think it would go in my top ten most awkward moments list.😱

 

[BellaRisa]

Well I certainly wouldn't make t-shirts or anything like that declaring it, but you don't have to date your mom if she finds out. I mean if you guys are ashamed than be ashamed, but don't expect others to follow right behind you. I'm not ashamed. My family knows, and those who don't except it... Well I shrug because it doesn't bother me.

It's not about being ashamed, it's about having enough sense to know what should be common knowledge and what probably shouldn't. Most of us don't share our sexual preferences with just anyone; if you tell everyone you meet that's your business but some of us prefer to share with a more select group of friends and lovers who actually want to know, rather than having my sex life foisted upon them because of my weird need to share 🙂

 

[Fire_Sprite]

It's not even about the fetish itself. Even if I had perfectly normal tastes I wouldn't tell my mother what my ideal breasts look like.

To me sexuality goes hand in hand with intimacy. And something isn't intimate or personal if I broadcast it to everyone I know.

 

[darkhand]

There are various reasons that I don't tell many people. First off, in college an aquaintance of mine had the horrible experience of the news getting out that he had a foot fetish, of course I do too, but I wasn't about the be the next "Spartacus" because the ridicule he received was terrible!

Another reason that I can think of, especially with my female friends, is that it changes the dynamic of the friendship. Right now I can innocently tweak a friends' sides and all I get is a slap on the arm, for the most part, it is innocent too. If my fetish leaked out, it would turn into people thinking I was "trying to get my rocks off" or something... It would change stuff, especially associated with Vanilla friends!

Just my two cents.

 

[GorjushPorjush]

i have no intention of telling anyone =/

 

[DownUnder]

I don't understand why some folks found Harry's decision to tell his parents etc so negative.

Sure, it's not something I'd do myself, but it's his right to "come out" the way he wants to. Maybe he feels his parents can help him and support him.

He's merely asking whether we think it's easier telling guys or girls. That question has been lost in the sea of "omg I SOOOO woudln't tell my parents".

I will answer his question. I do find it easier to tell female friends. Not because I'd be more likely to tickle girls, but I do find guys more prone to judgements. Besides, since tickling has sexual overtones for me, telling guys does not sit well with me.

Good luck.

 

[Oni Dorei]

I think its cool that your so chilled about it all, and that you completely accept it to a point where you are open to discuss it face to face with people, but i couldn't even begin to imagine how it would come up in conversation, or whatever, especially with family.
I think the only way i could ever talk openly about it with someone would be if that person shared a similar interest. Or possibly with someone i was in a relationship with, but even then i think it would go in my top ten most awkward moments list.😱

I had a horrible experience when my dad and best friend found out about it. But what was I supposed to do once they did? Duck under my bed or force myself not to feel the way I felt anymore? No. I accepted what I love and I think others should too. Just because one person doesn't understand why anyone would do it doesn't mean others won't find a good reason to do it. I told my best friend because I thought he would support me in some way. He didn't so what was I supposed to do?

It's not about being ashamed, it's about having enough sense to know what should be common knowledge and what probably shouldn't. Most of us don't share our sexual preferences with just anyone; if you tell everyone you meet that's your business but some of us prefer to share with a more select group of friends and lovers who actually want to know, rather than having my sex life foisted upon them because of my weird need to share 🙂

So am I stupid for explaining that I had a tickling fetish to my best friend? I felt stupid afterwards.

Look I know what your saying. I just disagree. It is about being ashamed. I mean most of us expect the worst out of people when they find out. Well if no one really cares what people think than no one would have a problem telling people, but if they are afraid of what others would think than that means you'd be too ashamed if they acted in a negative way. That's what it all boils down to.

Now if you have pride in what is essentially apart of you than you shouldn't be afraid to express that.

I mean certainly don't bring it up during dinner, but if the chance arises and you feel like getting it off your chest than do it.

I don't understand why some folks found Harry's decision to tell his parents etc so negative.

Sure, it's not something I'd do myself, but it's his right to "come out" the way he wants to. Maybe he feels his parents can help him and support him.

He's merely asking whether we think it's easier telling guys or girls. That question has been lost in the sea of "omg I SOOOO woudln't tell my parents".

I will answer his question. I do find it easier to tell female friends. Not because I'd be more likely to tickle girls, but I do find guys more prone to judgements. Besides, since tickling has sexual overtones for me, telling guys does not sit well with me.

Good luck.

People act negatively towards it because they either had a bad experience themselves or they just don't understand why someone would want to do that.

And as for the question I think it depends. I had a horrible time telling a guy about my fetish, but the girl I told actually accepted it. Another girl I told said I was werid. So it depends on the person. Some are mature and can handle it, some aren't.

 

[minerva]

Look I know what your saying. I just disagree. It is about being ashamed. I mean most of us expect the worst out of people when they find out. Well if no one really cares what people think than no one would have a problem telling people, but if they are afraid of what others would think than that means you'd be too ashamed if they acted in a negative way. That's what it all boils down to.

Now if you have pride in what is essentially apart of you than you shouldn't be afraid to express that.

I mean certainly don't bring it up during dinner, but if the chance arises and you feel like getting it off your chest than do it.

It might be about being ashamed for some people, but certainly not for everone.
I for example totally don't feel the need to get it 'off my chest', cause its nothing that bothers me. My fetish is a part of me, that I accept and embrace, but I don't have to prove to myself, that I'm fine with it by telling everyone about it.
It's simply something to share with the right people at the right occasions.

 

[Oni Dorei]

It might be about being ashamed for some people, but certainly not for everone.
I for example totally don't feel the need to get it 'off my chest', cause its nothing that bothers me. My fetish is a part of me, that I accept and embrace, but I don't have to prove to myself, that I'm fine with it by telling everyone about it.
It's simply something to share with the right people at the right occasions.

Well congratulations. But I think your missing the point of what I've been saying.

 

[minerva]

Well congratulations. But I think your missing the point of what I've been saying.

How so? Care to elaborate?

 

[Oni Dorei]

How so? Care to elaborate?

Yeah no problem.

Someone mentioned before that you shouldn't mention to others that you have a tickling fetish unless you plan on dating them. I just disagreed with that. I told my mother because I wanted to get it off my chest. To share my secret with someone else.

If you feel like telling someone this you shouldn't wait until you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Just tell someone you feel you can trust. That's all I'm saying. The entire family doesn't have to be made aware, but if you feel like telling your parents than I don't see a reason you shouldn't.

Also I'm not saying this is going to be easy or if you have to or not. But if you really want to than you should try.

That's all I'm saying.

 

[BellaRisa]

Well congratulations. But I think your missing the point of what I've been saying.

No, she didn't. She doesn't agree with you. That doesn't mean she missed your point.

 

[minerva]

Yeah no problem.

Someone mentioned before that you shouldn't mention to others that you have a tickling fetish unless you plan on dating them. I just disagreed with that. I told my mother because I wanted to get it off my chest. To share my secret with someone else.

If you feel like telling someone this you shouldn't wait until you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Just tell someone you feel you can trust. That's all I'm saying. The entire family doesn't have to be made aware, but if you feel like telling your parents than I don't see a reason you shouldn't.

Also I'm not saying this is going to be easy or if you have to or not. But if you really want to than you should try.

That's all I'm saying.

ok, I perfectly get your point and if thats the way it works best for you, thats perfectly fine. Just don't accuse everyone else of being ashamed just because they don't have the same urge to communicate as you do.
Some people are simply beyond that point. 😉

 

[AlinasPsyche]

You wanna know how I got these scars?