Why the hell are women so damned fickle?

[TheTickleMonster]

Someone definitely had to say something to her. Nobody inexplicably makes a complete 180 without cause. It might be one of her lonely girlfriends that doesn't like to see anyone happy but herself.

I kind of had the same thing happen to me. I met this chick at a Department store and things were all good and for whatever reason, she refused to even speak to me. I was strange. Even though is was SEVERAL years ago, I'd still like to know what the hell happened to make her change her mind.

Now you jus reminded me of someone I used to be friends with that suddenly stopped lol...

 

[TheTickleMonster]

Maybe she got scared off... Maybe when she said her family needed her she had already changed her mind before that about dating you but she didn't want to hurt you, and when you tried to reschedule she got scared off so she said she had to go not knowing what to say and eventually instead of being a man about it, or a woman in this case she just cut all ties with you. That's how some people deal with conflicts.

 

[Adam]

To be honest, she probably didn't like you from the start, and would rather say, "Oh yeah, I had fun. A second date? Uh..sure!" because she wasn't sure how to say no thanks without hurting your feelings. Granted, the way she went about it was confusing, and it would have been better to just be honest from the gate, but regardless, my bet is that she never planned on going out with you a second time anyway.

No worries. You don't want somebody that doesn't want you anyway. Keep on keepin' on 🙂

Well said. Though you are right, the way she went about it sounds extremely confusing. Especially the part about having posted a Facebook update about how she and the OP had such a great time. Talk about a complete and befuddling turnaround.

V-Man, I have gone through something very similar before. I was told by a friend of this young lady that I once briefly courted, "It's not the first time she's done something like this. Every time she likes a guy, she sabotages it before it gets going." It could be as simple as that. Deeper issues are likely in play, none of which have a thing to do with you. You will be better off finding someone who truly likes you and not having to deal with such headaches.

 

[rhiannon]

but one thing women seem to either not understand or just simply ignore about men is that they usually prefer closure.

You know what? That works the other way around, too. 🙂 I know about numerous cases where the guys just broke off all contacts without explanation.

 

[LD_Tickler]

That's srs bullshit. My sympathies.

 

[Adam]

You know what? That works the other way around, too. 🙂 I know about numerous cases where the guys just broke off all contacts without explanation.

Yes indeed. This very thing happened to my younger sister a few years back. It absolutely broke her heart. Fortunately, she has found someone new since then and is now engaged. Moral of the story is that some people really do suck, while others will treat you with the respect that you deserve.

 

[kered]

I once asked my late father if he ever figured out women.




He said, " Fuck no."

 

[dad2]

That's a huge help I'm sure, Kered. 🙄

VMAN, this is going to be a little hard to hear, but it's crucial if you're going to learn from this painful experience.

Okay, so I had a date on sunday. It went GREAT, me and the girl hit it off so freakin well it was unbelieveable. Turned out I shouldnt have believed it. She even texted me later that night and said " thanks for a great day " and ranted about how much fun she had on her facebook. We set up a 2nd date for wednesday night.

Right here is the dividing line between where you did great and where you started fucking up.

We talk monday, everything is fine. we talk tuesday....she suddenly cancels the date, and says that her family needs her help, so we'd have to reschedule. that was fine, understandable, so it was whatever. we talked tuesday, everything was fine. wednesday we talk, and she has to get off the phone for a little while, after i tried to reschedule the date, to which i got no answer. an hour later there is a HUGE rant on her facebook about somebody who didnt need anyone to be happy, something or another. i texted her, she said some guy pissed her off. i assumed it was one of her other friends.

Okay, your first mistake was to talk to her the day after your date. It would be different if you guys had sex, but it sounds to me like it was just a good time. You should have called her only once. On Tuesday. Just to firm up Wednesday's date. Here's a lesson to learn. If you're the one initiating all the communications (calling her, texting her, etc.), you need to back off. Let her call/text you, and if she doesn't, let her go.

little while later im deleted from her facebook. i call her, no answer. i text her, no answer. i text/call her roommate, no answer. i message her on facebook and readd her. get rejected and no answer. i spent the rest of wednesday calling/texting her, finally sending her a message on the website we met on. no answer to the calls or texts, but today i check the website and she says to leave her alone or shes calling to police for harrassment.

Something you said to her during your Monday or Tuesday conversations with her tweaked her. It was probably something very trivial to you but crucial to her. That's why it's dangerous talking to a potential girlfriend over the phone between the first and second dates. Or it's possible she heard or read something about you either on Facebook or the site you met her on. Whatever the case, your incessant pleas for an explanation only further cemented her newfound revulsion towards you.

WTF?!?!?! everything was FINE until she turned on me....i dont understand what in the fuck i could have done or said that made her suddenly refuse to talk to me.....and she, nor her roommate will tell me WTF it was. i just dont fucking get it. she even told me she liked me......so what the fuck happened?!?!?!? damnit this pisses me off. i just dont understand.

It's frustrating as hell. I've been there. If this girl had an ounce of character, she would at least tell you what's bothering her. If she had two ounces of character she'd make an attempt to talk it through, since she told you she liked you.

The best you can do now is let her go, and learn from your mistakes. I know you hit it off well, and things were really looking bright. Trust me. Sooner or later things would have deteriorated, only slowly with much more pain and anguish. Better to just rip it off quick, like a band-aid.

 

[GQguy]

Tank Hill above has some good advice!

Don't sweat it bro it's happened to all of us.

Ok. Girls can be fickle because they have many options. On any given dating site women get far more guys messaging them than guys have women messaging them.

One date is cool. Did you get a kiss? Was it a good one? Was there passion? I'm guessing not. As skipp said it's quite possible she was being polite about how much fun she had. Hell, i've had great sex with a girl and never heard from her again. I felt so used!(just kidding) But.... It's a woman's perogative to change her mind. Expect it!

You contacted her WAYYYYYYY too many times bro! A call and a text and that's that. She didn't delete you by accident. She most likely thought you might be a stalker...which she is completely justified in thinking. If I were her i'd only wonder what you'd do if you had gotten physical and she didn't like where the relationship was going.

I know it's shitty, no explanation. But that's how love works right? You don't need to hear that someone loves you to believe of feel it. Conversly you don't need to hear that she doesn't like you to feel it either.

I say take the money you would have used to by her dinner and treat yourself. Something that makes you feel better. Buy a new outfit. Get some protein powder and get in the gym. Get your car washed....get a new video game...whatever. Just reiterate to yourself though that while she might not like you...that YOU like YOU. This stuff happens to me all the time but that's dating bro. Have fun! And be light hearted. The girls you date aren't potential girlfriends till they prove themselves as such. Keep that mentality. Not returning calls and texts is not future girlfriend behavior.

Good luck!!
GQ

 

[natural tickler]

the reason women or so fickle is because they haven't given us the Cliff notes codebook on how to understand them....only until then will we crack the enemy's code

 

[porcelaindoll2]

Man I really feel your pain and I know what you are going through. I had the same thing happen to me only it was someone I thought who was my best gay friend. We had known each other for seven years. We met in High School and then we went to the same college. I knew our friendship was getting rocky and I could tell we both had changed a lot since we first met. I had gotten deeply depressed. I finally went to counseling and got a prescription for Zoloft. I had wanted to end the friendship, but I felt if I got help with my depression maybe we would be the friends we use to be. We had been friends for so long and I wanted to try to fix it. We did a ton of stuff of together and I always thought it was because we were really good friends. Well I found out he only did lots of stuff with me because he felt he had too. He felt so sorry for me he felt he had to make me happy. He ended our friendship two weeks before finals and school got out for summer after finals. I was actually starting to feel happier to and then he ended it. I got extremely emotional. He wouldn't talk to me at all. I kept texting and facebooking him for answers. I got nothing from him, but his new friend turned into his lawyer and was texting me back with everything he was saying because that was how badly he didn't want to talk to me. He threatened to call the police too. I also cooked at his apartment and I had some food and cooking supplies at his apartment. He wouldn't even let me get them! He left them at his new friends dorm room and I had to pick them up there! He has a new nickname Bastardlyass. People who act like that should have no friends at all.