Women: should we consider a buddy system?

[h0pelessr0mance]

Gentlemen, I know you probably have thoughts on this, but please refrain from replying so I can hear the women's perspective. Yes I know not all men are dangerous, and there's plenty of good guys. But bad people lie, and sometimes we can't tell the difference before it's too late. I know part of the appeal is the power dynamics, but to someone potentially being tied up, that also makes them targets to r*****s and serial killers. I know you think that's an exaggeration, but that's how women's minds work. And with the proliferation of the noncon kink, it's easy to see why most women don't stick around this forum. So please hold off on responding until we talk about this in depth. Feel free to react to any posts, however.

I started thinking that maybe we can introduce a system where women can buddy up with each other to help meet potential partners. Not be involved with the session, but at least break the ice and see if something seems off. I'm primarily 'ler, but I wouldn't mind helping a female lee meet someone she'd be too scared to meet in person. Male lees I guess could find another buddy to help them vet things out.

I'm only in the midwest, so obviously can't be everywhere. A lot of women have already left the site, so something like this would probably take a while to gain traction, but maybe this will encourage the newcomers. I know the US is a big place, but maybe if we had a board, like the personals, where we could volunteer help for lees in our region, it could help normalize it, and change the culture around kink in general. Has something like this been done before? And if so, what went wrong, or why wouldn't this work?

 

[ticklemepurplee]

I was actually just thinking about this the other day--not necessarily your idea, but the fact that many women don't have a buddy or person that can provide safety and support when meeting potential tickle partners. I think this is largely due to the fact that our fetish is niche and it can be difficult just to find potential play partners, let alone find someone trustworthy enough to help us vet potential play partners. It's basically adding another step. And while important, it's not deemed worth it by many, especially younger ticklephiles with less networking experience and less experience meeting up with others--ironically those are arguably the ones who need that support and safety the most. Another reason they may not deem it important is desperation clouding their judgement (and I'm throwing no shade here--I have absolutely been there and have almost landed myself in some bad situations when I was younger).

This can be a difficult problem to solve because like I said, often younger and less experienced ticklephiles are the ones who will have a harder time finding a "buddy" but they're also the ones that need them the most. Your idea is interesting but like you said, it may be hard to get something like that off the ground since a lot of the tickling community is split between various places on the internet (TMF, Discord, Tumblr, Reddit, Tkl Map, etc etc). You almost need something that can work across platforms or at least someone to spread the word across them.

Another option would be just to have someone in your life who you trust that you can confide in about your fetish, and they could accompany you to meetups or at least be able to track your location, etc. in case things went south. Many don't like this option cause they're very private with their fetish (which I completely understand). But it's better than nothing.

I probably missed something but that seems like a good place to stop my rambling for now lol.

 

[MeatyBreastedDullness]

Doesn't seem like a bad idea, women, men, anyone should maybe consider something like this if possible. You mentioned a lot of women left this site, after seeing how some people talk I'm not surprised.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

I decided decades ago that I was going to trust my family and let them know where I am going, who I am playing with, etc. Literally, my sisters have names, numbers, addresses... One has been my emergency contact with another TMF member for over 20 years.

I also have a local TMF member who accompanies me on local munches / meet ups.

I am 100% willing to look out for and assist women who wish to meet potential partners. I vet, I can provide references, and I do what I can to report people who I consider unsafe.

Having a buddy system even at events (especially at events, really) is a good idea. And consent can ve revoked at any time. If you feel weird/ wary about it, trust yourself.

Lastly, if they don't respect you, your voice, and your boundaries online.... They won't respect you in person.

Play safe. 💕