Would you date someone with a disability?

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I am just curious to know how many people on this forum would date someone who has some type of disability either mental or physical or has a mental illness, for example being manic depressive or something like that.


Looking forward to replies.

 

[milagros317]

Yes, I would (and I have). You have to consider the whole human being, are you interested in having a relationship with that whole person.

 

[CitY of MicA]

I am just curious to know how many people on this forum would date someone who has some type of disability either mental or physical or has a mental illness, for example being manic depressive or something like that.

Sure, why not. If someone was manic depressive and you wanted it to flourish into a full-time relationship, it would probably take a great deal of effort. But what good relationship doesn't (take a lot effort, that is)? I have a family member who is bi-polar; I love them very much. They are married, and that marriage is work-intensive, if you will. But knowing them, it's worth it.

 

[Headsnap]

Probably not. I'm all for the notion that nobody deserves to be left on the scrapheap just because they're different, but equal opportunities don't extend to my aesthetic tastes. As far as mental illness goes I've dealt with that within my family for a long time and it's unpleasant to say the very least so that might be a bar to me wanting to have a relationship with someone, although I'd be more likely to go for someone with a mental illness than with a physical disability.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Love would conquer all.

 

[Headsnap]

Love would conquer all.

What if the person was some sort of mutant demi-human who, although outwardly and in terms of personality was the paragon of human virtue, was permanently on fire? How would your love conquer that, sir?

 

[lk70]

Physical disability, certainly.

Mental? Much less likely but I'd have to know details I guess.

 

[Leo tickles]

I'd let whatever disability my partner may have bring us closer together, not further apart. I've dated somebody with a mental disability once. She was depressive and constantly thought I was too good for her. (Which turned out to be true.... hmm).. anyways, before she started lying to me and such, I worked through her.... "moments" in a fun way for both of us and we joked about it later.

Physical? Who cares? Like I tell anybody I talk to, I don't care if you have an eye where your vagina is supposed to be. If I like you as a person and you like me as a person, it's a date.

 

[CitY of MicA]

et tu flambe?

What if the person was some sort of mutant demi-human who, although outwardly and in terms of personality was the paragon of human virtue, was permanently on fire? How would your love conquer that, sir?

Permanently on fire? Is someone dating the human torch? Of course, even he had some downtime where he wasn't aflame . That is indeed the conundrum. How about conducting the relationship underwater?

Do you take this person, who is aflame, to be your lawfully wedded husband?
.

 

[aurora5150]

i would totally date someone with a physical disability.

as for someone with a mental disability it would depend on a lot of factors. like are they violent as a result of the disability. stuff like that. but i'd never rule it out completely. you never know what you're gonna get (thanks Forrest Gump) so you may as well give it a shot. it just may be one of the best relationships you'll ever have.

 

[pinkgirl23]

thats a tough question. looks matter to me but i suppose if i got to know someone very well it would make a difference.

 

[maniactickler]

As far as a mental disability, i just wouldnt want anyone thats a psycho. and for a physical disability, that depends on the individual issue. for example, i might not date a woman because shes bow legged, yet i might date a woman thats missing an arm. its all on a case by case basis.

 

[Capnmad]

I am just curious to know how many people on this forum would date someone who has some type of disability either mental or physical or has a mental illness, for example being manic depressive or something like that.

Physical disability? Sure! I can't hit a golf ball worth a damn. Never could figure out why, but never cared enough to ask that much anyway. Other physical disabilities may be different than mine, but they probably mean about as much in the grand scheme of things.

Mental illness is fluid. Everyone's got their own little quirks. Some people will just have those. Some will have more than their share. Most will never be diagnosed with anything -- which isn't to say they couldn't be -- they just may never get the opportunity, never know, or never feel the need. I'd want whoever I was dating to be within a certain range of quirkiness. It would depend on diagnosis, severity, and my personal evaluation, so I can't say outright. I'll see what comes my way and make my decisions accordingly.

 

[isabeau]

As far as a mental disability, i just wouldnt want anyone thats a psycho. and for a physical disability, that depends on the individual issue. for example, i might not date a woman because shes bow legged, yet i might date a woman thats missing an arm. its all on a case by case basis.

uh not all mental disabilities mean psycho...gesh..and bow leggedness is a physical disability? hmmm

and to answer the question...love is unconditional...of course i would..

hmm hubby has web feet..is that a physical disability?

 

[aurora5150]

Physical disability? Sure! I can't hit a golf ball worth a damn. Never could figure out why, but never cared enough to ask that much anyway. Other physical disabilities may different than mine, but they probably mean about as much in the grand scheme of things.

Mental illness is fluid. Everyone's got their own little quirks. Some people will just have those. Some will have more than their share. Most will never be diagnosed with anything -- which isn't to say they couldn't be -- they just may never get the opportunity, never know, or never feel the need. I'd want whoever I was dating to be within a certain range of quirkiness. It would depend on diagnosis, severity, and my personal evaluation, so I can't say outright. I'll see what comes my way and make my decisions accordingly.

very well put. make that for me as well!

 

[Mastertank1]

Yes, and I have.

My most recent LTR (ended in 2003) was with a lady who had adult advenced attention deficit disorder and bipolar disorder. We lasted 4 years before parting as friends. She and her two kids (who live with their respective dads) still call me regularly as friends.

 

[crystlamb]

yeah

I would.

 

[tkl-pen]

I have a fairly unique perspective in this area - I have a son who has cerebral palsy (he walks but is severely challenged mentally and has to wear diapers for life since he can't feel when he needs to go) and I worked in the disabled transport system for thirty years (dealing with all kinds of disabilities on a daily basis).

Before I was married, I dated a number of disabled ladies including those with physical challenges - a quadraplegic lady named Gail - and mental challenges - a young lady named Patsy - among others. There is in reality no difference between a disabled person and another beyond the nature of the disability itself. So, I overlook the disability and see the person.

Understandably, dating a disabled person may require some adjustments - my 25-year old son is mentally about 5 - so we go to McDonald's instead of fancy restaurants and Disneyland instead of more 'mature' places - but I like both McDonald's and Disneyland anyway. Another adjustment might be one of access - with a wheelchair you would go to places that are easy to enter and where the washrooms are suitable. Other than that, no difference to me.

 

[maniactickler]

uh not all mental disabilities mean psycho...gesh..and bow leggedness is a physical disability? hmmm

and to answer the question...love is unconditional...of course i would..

hmm hubby has web feet..is that a physical disability?

Is he a good swimmer?

 

[locker669]

I used to think that a disability would not prevent me from having a releationship, but now I don't think I could.

I work for a medical company that does tests for genetic disorders. There are some diseases that progress as you get old and can cause you not to be able to walk anymore, lose muscle coordination, and even death. I would be afraid of having children and possibly giving the disease to them.

 

[lk70]

Understandably, dating a disabled person may require some adjustments - my 25-year old son is mentally about 5 - so we go to McDonald's instead of fancy restaurants and Disneyland instead of more 'mature' places - but I like both McDonald's and Disneyland anyway. Another adjustment might be one of access - with a wheelchair you would go to places that are easy to enter and where the washrooms are suitable. Other than that, no difference to me.

Ok, but that's going out with your son- not dating someone. Would you honestly think it's appropriate to date a woman with a mental age of 5? And just take her to McDonald's instead of a fancy place?

The biggest part of having a romantic relationship with someone, for me, is intellectual and emotional compatibility. Mental illness might make that difficult if not impossible.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

I would definately date someone who has a disability and the reason is that a disabled person needs the same amount of love and attention as a person who does not.

 

[tkl-pen]

Ok, but that's going out with your son- not dating someone. Would you honestly think it's appropriate to date a woman with a mental age of 5? And just take her to McDonald's instead of a fancy place?

The biggest part of having a romantic relationship with someone, for me, is intellectual and emotional compatibility. Mental illness might make that difficult if not impossible.

Wow - you are right, of course - I would never consider dating with a mental age of 5 or anything similar as appropriate - to my thinking, that would be the same as dating a 5 year old. All I was trying to demonstrate is that it is sometimes necessary to adjust the things we do when we have a disabled person with us. I did not mean to insinuate anything else.

I remember a case, by the way, at the bus service where I worked - one of the drivers was picking up a 27 year old lady who had a brain injury which left her with a mental age of about 9 - for some time she wasn't coming home at the appropriate time and the driver was having trips pulled off his schedule in the afternoons she was on the bus with clearly no need to have trips covered - the woman's parents, with whom she lived, hired a private detective to find out what was going on - he quickly produced a report that the driver was keeping this lady on the bus with him, parking in places, etc - he was promptly fired, of course, and reported to the authorities - I don't know if anything beyond visiting ever took place or if he was actually ever charged with anything - I think he should have been, though.

This brings up another thing in my mind, though, because I have seen it so many times in the years I drove the disability transport. I have seen many cases of a disabled person with the mental age of a child and the drives of an adult. I haven't had this problem with my son, fortunately, but I have seen it with other people I have transported over the years.

 

[CurtWild]

i gotta be honest and say no.i probably would not be able to date someone with a disability.if i was in a long term relationship and something happened where the person i was with became physically or mentally disabled?that would be different

 

[drew70]

It all depends on the severity of the disability whether mental or physical. I'm sure most of us have limits as to how much disability we can tolerate before it affects our own ability to have a relationship. For me, I wouldn't be put off by a lady with aspergers or ADD. As for physical disabilities, that could be anything from quadropalegic to a bad dancer.