Wow, a great short article for someone who's trying to understand you!

[piyr]

This was definitley worth reading for me. I've never read anything that I can relate to so strongly before. It's like this woman lived my experience only she has a spanking fetish. I even remember the thrill of looking up words in the dictionary related to my kink just like she did only I thought I was taking my interest to the extreme but she calls it a right of passage!

This isn't a technical psychological examination of herself, but a casual narrative of the intensity of her desires and her struggle to have her needs met through her relationhip and her honesty with herself.

As a side note, I did a google search for this journalist and it looks like she had a promising career before she "outed" herself in this article. I hope that she still does.

http://www.nytimes.com /2012/11/11/fashion/modern-love-a-spanking-fetish-is-not-revealed-easily.html?emc=eta1&_r=0

 

[araknoid1]

That was extremely interesting, thanks for sharing.

 

[helplessandhappy]

Funny she was so insecure over enjoying spanking. Within the kinky world, I feel like spanking is about as mainstream and vanilla as you could get.

 

[MrTicklefeet]

Funny she was so insecure over enjoying spanking. Within the kinky world, I feel like spanking is about as mainstream and vanilla as you could get.

You'd be surprised. I've knwon of people into spanking that felt they needed to keep quiet about it, as people can still be childish if it's something they can't relate to. Read the article again about the reference to Daphne Merkin.

 

[milagros317]

Great article. Thanks for the link. 😀
I wonder if her first boyfriend, who tickled her instead of spanking her as she had hoped, was one of us.

 

[TMF Jeff]

I wonder if her first boyfriend, who tickled her instead of spanking her as she had hoped, was one of us.

I thought the same thing. I bet he was.

 

[tickletherapist]

I thought the same thing. I bet he was.

That was the most disappointing part of the article. Too bad he couldn't make her like it. However, it seems to me he just lightly tickled her which is supposed to look quite opposite to spanking in the article. I feel the writer implied spanking is serious and satisfying while tickling is "vanilla" and "stupid".

He should have tied her up and tickle tortured her good first, and maybe then there could've been some chance she could take it seriously. Just a guess, whatever.

Apart from this, great article. So close to us.
Especially one thing that I share.
"While there is a strong erotic element to my kink, sex is merely a side dish to the more absorbing entree of the spanking itself."
and
"After years of pretending I was interested only in the occasional erotic swat, I finally had to admit it to myself: Although spankings do satisfy a strong sexual need, they satisfy an equally strong psychological one."
It's about tickling for me, and probably for some of us.

 

[magic fingers]

Spanking doesn't necessarily do anything for me, but if my GF was into it, her butt would be as red as a tomato by the time I was done w/her!

 

[katukutusursuri]

Highly articulate writer, hats off to him.

 

[shaolindog]

Dude great article. It's funny because in my experence vanilla women have always been more open to a spanking than being tickled. Like they get the erotic connection somehow. And I even had a woman who was into spanking say she hated being tickled because tickling hurt. Go figure.

 

[mykal]

Thanks for sharing this. It was really surprising to see how, even though the writer's fetish was spanking and mine is tickling, there were so many things that I could relate to in the article.

 

[saratk]

this is so relateable. Makes me feel not so alone.

 

[saratk]

I think something else important to note is that people with a spanking (and probably other) fetishes call others that don't share it a "vanilla", we do that too...so if you think about it, if you're not into spanking, you're a "vanilla" to them...they may assume you'll judge them, but chances are you won't because you have your own thing that you may feel insecure about...I think people who are truly vanilla is extremely rare. I think there are many roads to sexual arousal, and many of them may seem odd. I also think people are so wrapped up in their own insecurities that they aren't that concerned with others...

I say this sort of in the wake of "bad press" for tickling with that guy who invaded dorms in Boston and tickled people. People are judging that action. I think the creepiness they are talking about is more about the fact that he broke in and did that. They would think he was just as creepy if he broke in and played GI Joe's on the sleeping people's stomach's and then ran out...I think people judge the odd actions like that much more than the actual concept of tickling...I think if it's done in normal context people don't care...I'm sort of saying this for myself, hopefully these thoughts will help others too.

 

[TicklishHunger1]

Nice article. Thanks for sharing it!!