I was sitting on a train, taking my MP3 player out of my pocket (Zune, anyone?). I had boarded fairly early so I could snag the window seat. I was scanning the group of people coming down the aisle, trying to guess who was going to wind up sitting next to me for the next five hours. Among the crowd was one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen. She had green eyes, shiny brown hair that was perfectly straight and down to her shoulderblades. She had a slight tan and was wearing a short, tight, royal blue dress.
She scanned the seat numbers, and sat down next to me. She immediately kicked off her flip flops, and curled her legs up onto the seat, with the soles of her feet about an inch from my legs. I noticed. I noticed what she did with her stupid feet. I don't like feet. I don't even like tickling feet. You bastards are INFLUENCING MY PERCEPTIONS OF THE WORLD AROUND ME. My only solace was knowing I have my revenge on you, in so far as completely wasting the opportunity.
I was going to hit on her, but I also noticed she had an engagement ring. That was the first time in my life I was repelled by a ring. I thought I was too young for that...
ANYWAY, the point of this thread, is that I hate you foot lovers and how you're altering my worldview. Get out of my head, Charles.