Shocked? I was.
I was scrolling through old pictures of me. Pictures I hadn't dared looked at since beginning my weightloss journey.
Many times, I look in the mirror and still see the woman on the left.
Actually... this is an everyday occurrence.
I took the picture on the right just this morning (Jan 5, 2026).
Sure people have commented on my weightloss. I'd brush it off.
"Oh yeah thank you" would be my reply.
Because I couldn't see it, so I didn't believe it. I still have more weight to lose...I'm not even at my goal weight... what are people even talking about?
But I see it now.
And I'm not having the reaction I thought I would have. This is a 70lb difference and I'm just... disgusted.
How did I let myself get that heavy? Well I certainly know HOW! Food, stress, a complete lack of caring to name a few.
I was miserable. For a long time. Life has dealt me some pretty shitty cards. I could never win. Honestly? Still not winning. My situation still sucks. But I can't control that. What can I control? How I treat myself. If everyone around me wants to treat me like scum, fine. But me? Nah. Not me. I decided to put myself first.
Fuck the past.
Fuck the memories.
Fuck it all.
This is something I can do and no one can take it away from me. No one can steal this from me, use it against me, twist it so it goes in their favor. This one is all mine.
And you know what this made me realize?
It was never me.
I was never the problem.
I'm stronger than I EVER gave myself credit for. I let assholes into my life that never deserved to even breathe the same air I'm breathing. I thought so little of myself that I truly believed I was worth the little effort they gave.
I'm not done becoming the woman I am meant to be.
Not by a long shot.
I have so much more to prove. But not to anyone but myself. I DID THIS! MOTHERFUCKING YEAH I DID!!!!!!!
I was scrolling through old pictures of me. Pictures I hadn't dared looked at since beginning my weightloss journey.
Many times, I look in the mirror and still see the woman on the left.
Actually... this is an everyday occurrence.
I took the picture on the right just this morning (Jan 5, 2026).
Sure people have commented on my weightloss. I'd brush it off.
"Oh yeah thank you" would be my reply.
Because I couldn't see it, so I didn't believe it. I still have more weight to lose...I'm not even at my goal weight... what are people even talking about?
But I see it now.
And I'm not having the reaction I thought I would have. This is a 70lb difference and I'm just... disgusted.
How did I let myself get that heavy? Well I certainly know HOW! Food, stress, a complete lack of caring to name a few.
I was miserable. For a long time. Life has dealt me some pretty shitty cards. I could never win. Honestly? Still not winning. My situation still sucks. But I can't control that. What can I control? How I treat myself. If everyone around me wants to treat me like scum, fine. But me? Nah. Not me. I decided to put myself first.
Fuck the past.
Fuck the memories.
Fuck it all.
This is something I can do and no one can take it away from me. No one can steal this from me, use it against me, twist it so it goes in their favor. This one is all mine.
And you know what this made me realize?
It was never me.
I was never the problem.
I'm stronger than I EVER gave myself credit for. I let assholes into my life that never deserved to even breathe the same air I'm breathing. I thought so little of myself that I truly believed I was worth the little effort they gave.
I'm not done becoming the woman I am meant to be.
Not by a long shot.
I have so much more to prove. But not to anyone but myself. I DID THIS! MOTHERFUCKING YEAH I DID!!!!!!!
