I decided a few months ago that it was high time I finished my Bachelors degree. Since my Mothers death I had no ambition to go back and finish. I have been living with some guilt and it is foolish. Two months before my mother died I gave up on school. Between work and taking care of her and my dad it was just too much of a strain. When I dropped the news to my Mom she was very devestated. The sad look on her face was terribly sad. She blamed herself and I felt horrible.
She seemed to slowly give up living at that point. I know in my heart she lost a lot of her will because of the pain she had with cancer. It still bothers me to this day because I feel that I added more stress to her. I have no idea why my brain seems to feel guilty sometimes. I did not want to go back to school because I thought, "Whats the point?" Here is where I got stupid. I went back to school because I thought it ight give my mother a chance to be proud of me. When she died, I figured there was no reason to continue.
When you have time to think about it, I know now that I need to be in school for myself and that is what I am there for. I really want this degree. and will go to great lengths to get there. I know when I finish my mother will be proud and so will I. School has been great and I am loving every minute of it. I have a long way to go however. Got an A- in my first class back so what the heck. I will carry on and be the first of my mothers children to achieve a bachelors degree.
She seemed to slowly give up living at that point. I know in my heart she lost a lot of her will because of the pain she had with cancer. It still bothers me to this day because I feel that I added more stress to her. I have no idea why my brain seems to feel guilty sometimes. I did not want to go back to school because I thought, "Whats the point?" Here is where I got stupid. I went back to school because I thought it ight give my mother a chance to be proud of me. When she died, I figured there was no reason to continue.
When you have time to think about it, I know now that I need to be in school for myself and that is what I am there for. I really want this degree. and will go to great lengths to get there. I know when I finish my mother will be proud and so will I. School has been great and I am loving every minute of it. I have a long way to go however. Got an A- in my first class back so what the heck. I will carry on and be the first of my mothers children to achieve a bachelors degree.
