Thread Bare

We all know that there are certain types of sigh-inducing threads that pop up on the Tickling Discussion board on a regular enough basis. This is just my attempt to satirize them; lay bare the subtexts, as it were. Needless to say, it’s not written with any malice. It’s just a way of cutting through the bullshit, but having fun with it at the same time, if you see what I mean. 


The Wank Fodder Thread

Hi.

I’m doing my best to word this so that it comes across as a genuine discussion starter, but really it’s just a hopeful solicitation for masturbatory material (shh!). I don’t want to talk to you; I have no desire to interact with you as a real human being; I just want you to bombard me with sexual images/imagery so that my dick gets nice and hard. I know there’s quite a lot of wank fodder on the internet already, but I’m looking for something with the personal touch – preferably from the hand of an attractive female, of course.

Thanks! 


The Gender Agenda Thread

Hi.

I was mistreated by somebody from my past. Because this person was of the opposite sex I have come to subconsciously believe that all members of this sex would, if given half the chance, do the same. As a consequence, I now project all of my gender-based anxieties onto society as a whole, viewing anybody who challenges my views as an enemy.

Is it OK with everyone if I go ahead and do the same here? “Not really,” you say? OK, well I’m just gonna go ahead and do that anyway. What could possibly go wrong!


The Stranger-Tickling Dilemma Thread

Hi.

I was wondering if there’s anybody on the forum who thinks it’s OK to get one’s kicks from tickling complete strangers (without their permission, it goes without saying). Now, I know that this kind of behaviour is wrong. I mean, you can’t just go around fondling any person that takes your fancy: that would be sociopathic! But the thing is, I really want to get my kicks from tickling complete strangers. So the fact that I can’t seems very unfair. So if somebody out there could just give me the green light and tell me that it’s OK for me to get my kicks from tickling complete strangers, that’d be great.

Thanks.


The Mentally Disturbed Thread

Hi.

I’m clearly mentally disturbed.

Well – see ya later!


The Take and Take Thread

Hi.

I’m one of those people that has been on the forum for years but hardly ever posts a comment. Recently, however, I’ve been struggling with a personal problem, and so have created this thread as a way of seeking advice and consolation. So go ahead: get advising and consoling! What you won’t realize until it’s too late (luckily for me!) is that I have no intention of thanking, or even acknowledging those people who try to help me.

So you’ll take time out of your busy day to read this opening post, to ruminate on it, to figure out how best I might go about solving my problem, articulating those thoughts as best you can in the form of a reply, probably giving me your best wishes, too; and then I, having perused all of this friendly advice and put it to good use, will slink back into obscurity without another word! Ha ha.

Catch y’all some other time: when I next need your help, I would imagine. (Suckers.)


The Video Anger Thread

Hi.

Something that I don’t personally like to see in tickling videos has been turning up in some tickling videos I’ve seen lately. I am therefore furious. I mean really disproportionately vexed, like I consider it to be a deliberate and unconscionable assault on the very core of my being.

Don’t producers realize that I don’t like to see this particular thing in tickling videos? Are they stupid or something? Needless to say, the fact that some people like to see this particular thing in tickling videos hasn’t occurred to me. But even if it did I wouldn’t care. And that’s because I only care about me. Me me me me me me me me me. Oh yeah, did I mention: ME!!!


The Shot in the Dark Thread

Hi.

I just wanted to let you all know that I have a desire to tickle torture/be tickle tortured by another person.

Well – see ya later!


The Sneaky Brag Thread

Hi.

Here is an anecdote from which the forum learns that I recently enjoyed a successful tickling/sexual/flirting episode with a person from outside the TMF community. But because I don’t want it to look like I’m just bragging (which I definitely am, by the way), I’m going to incorporate a token question, so that it looks like I’m actually seeking members’ advice/opinions on the matter.

By the way, did I mention that I’m good-looking? Not to mention charming. Well I am. Just sayin’.


The Fetish Scapegoat Thread

Hi.

Things haven’t been going so well for me lately, particularly in the romance department. So I’ve decided to blame it all on my tickling fetish. Not terribly rational, I know. I suppose… Yes, I know deep down that I’m fooling myself. But the alternative: that it’s not the fetish but me… How am I meant to deal with that? The idea that I’m the source of my problems? It’s too much. No, no. Better to blame the fetish. For now, anyway.

Just give me time. I’m struggling here. But I’ll get there. With the help of this forum I’ll get there. After all, I didn’t have to post this. Maybe this is my way of making a connection with the forum. Just because I don’t have a lot of experiences to relate/draw from doesn’t mean I don’t matter, right?

I haven’t given up on myself yet. So don’t you either.

Thanks for listening.