Depressed?

[TickleSwitch24]

Been seeing some posts throughout the forum involving people talking about how depressed they are. Thought you might want to know something.

I'm 26 now. Product of a middle class family with consertive views. Pretty normal childhood as far as I know. In high school I had signs of depression, but most could be explained as growing pains. They were much worse, but easy to hide (although,

After high school I found myself in a situation where many things were going wrong. Traumatic things happened in close succession. I also had absolutely no way to leave the situation or improve it: the definition of helpless. I never thought of killing myself (its not in my nature) but I was not afraid to die. I was so depressed that I wished every time I went to bed that I would slip into a coma. It was that bad. There was no let up. I felt like this every day.

After about a year of living like this, something wonderful/disturbing happened. It stopped. I did not feel depressed any more. It took me quite a while to realize that I was still depressed, I just had lost the ability to feel it.

People would tell me I looked depressed, and I just figured it was the way I looked. Sometimes people would tell me I looked pissed, in a situation where I should have been pissed, but I didn't feel pissed. Even though I was even acting pissed. I lost the ability to feel it.

Later on something happened that I should have been upset about - and I was. In that moment all the feelings that had been involuntarily suppressed came out at once. It built up and built up and then, as if someone flicked a light switch, it stopped. I still was sweating and felt like I was overheating, but in the blink of an eye, it stopped. That's when I realized that I had a big problem. Whenever I had strong feelings about something, they would get shut off.

What I'm trying to say is, if you feel depressed a lot... and you know who you are... don't be afraid to get help. It's pay now or pay later. Years ago, I was embarassed about it and explained it away as normal. When I tried to talk about it to friends, they said "Yeah, I feel that way too" which made me feel invalidated. Now I'm going to a counselor and with some help, I can feel emotions the way I used to for about 45 minutes, but after it's done, I can't remember what a lot of it felt like. I just remember what I was thinking at the time, and some of it was good. It's a scary ordeal, I mean, what happens if I start to feel again, the good and the bad? Who will I become? What in my life will change? It would have been a lot simpler to find a way to get over my worries about seeing a counselor, or been willing to take the time to find a counselor that was right for me. Instead, I'm trying to do what I can to get back the emotion I used to feel, especially the good ones. Bring someone into your life that can organize your thoughts and give you guidance on how you can live your best life, and reach your full potential. For some people, it's just part of growing up.

 

[Gothika]

i hear ya dude i have been very very depresse since july its never been so bad its a fight everydday im slowly getting better but still have my days im trying so hard sometimes i feel like giving up i hate this feeling i am on meds and see my doc reguarly i just need someone i can confide in it would help

 

[Knox The Hatter]

I've been in a mild depression (with various gradations) almost my whole life...I don't think I'll ever come to grips with my childhood, and all the traumas that echo down to this day. I think what maintains me is my sense of humor, which is a very important component. Without it, I might've hung myself when I was in the service.

 

[Raytheon]

Do what makes you happy. Do what makes ...you... happy
*friends*

 

[love feet]

Been seeing some posts throughout the forum involving people talking about how depressed they are. Thought you might want to know something.

I'm 26 now. Product of a middle class family with consertive views. Pretty normal childhood as far as I know. In high school I had signs of depression, but most could be explained as growing pains. They were much worse, but easy to hide (although,

After high school I found myself in a situation where many things were going wrong. Traumatic things happened in close succession. I also had absolutely no way to leave the situation or improve it: the definition of helpless. I never thought of killing myself (its not in my nature) but I was not afraid to die. I was so depressed that I wished every time I went to bed that I would slip into a coma. It was that bad. There was no let up. I felt like this every day.

After about a year of living like this, something wonderful/disturbing happened. It stopped. I did not feel depressed any more. It took me quite a while to realize that I was still depressed, I just had lost the ability to feel it.

People would tell me I looked depressed, and I just figured it was the way I looked. Sometimes people would tell me I looked pissed, in a situation where I should have been pissed, but I didn't feel pissed. Even though I was even acting pissed. I lost the ability to feel it.

Later on something happened that I should have been upset about - and I was. In that moment all the feelings that had been involuntarily suppressed came out at once. It built up and built up and then, as if someone flicked a light switch, it stopped. I still was sweating and felt like I was overheating, but in the blink of an eye, it stopped. That's when I realized that I had a big problem. Whenever I had strong feelings about something, they would get shut off.

What I'm trying to say is, if you feel depressed a lot... and you know who you are... don't be afraid to get help. It's pay now or pay later. Years ago, I was embarassed about it and explained it away as normal. When I tried to talk about it to friends, they said "Yeah, I feel that way too" which made me feel invalidated. Now I'm going to a counselor and with some help, I can feel emotions the way I used to for about 45 minutes, but after it's done, I can't remember what a lot of it felt like. I just remember what I was thinking at the time, and some of it was good. It's a scary ordeal, I mean, what happens if I start to feel again, the good and the bad? Who will I become? What in my life will change? It would have been a lot simpler to find a way to get over my worries about seeing a counselor, or been willing to take the time to find a counselor that was right for me. Instead, I'm trying to do what I can to get back the emotion I used to feel, especially the good ones. Bring someone into your life that can organize your thoughts and give you guidance on how you can live your best life, and reach your full potential. For some people, it's just part of growing up.

You have just described me as well!
I feel almost exley like this is scary!!!!!
The holidays DO NOT help at all!!

 

[texastickler]

Great words and great advice. I had a bout of depression as a teenager. I wanted help and got help. I knew who I was and knew that I wanted to be that person again. I have not been that way since.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Been seeing some posts throughout the forum involving people talking about how depressed they are. Thought you might want to know something.

I'm 26 now. Product of a middle class family with consertive views. Pretty normal childhood as far as I know. In high school I had signs of depression, but most could be explained as growing pains. They were much worse, but easy to hide (although,

After high school I found myself in a situation where many things were going wrong. Traumatic things happened in close succession. I also had absolutely no way to leave the situation or improve it: the definition of helpless. I never thought of killing myself (its not in my nature) but I was not afraid to die. I was so depressed that I wished every time I went to bed that I would slip into a coma. It was that bad. There was no let up. I felt like this every day.

After about a year of living like this, something wonderful/disturbing happened. It stopped. I did not feel depressed any more. It took me quite a while to realize that I was still depressed, I just had lost the ability to feel it.

People would tell me I looked depressed, and I just figured it was the way I looked. Sometimes people would tell me I looked pissed, in a situation where I should have been pissed, but I didn't feel pissed. Even though I was even acting pissed. I lost the ability to feel it.

Later on something happened that I should have been upset about - and I was. In that moment all the feelings that had been involuntarily suppressed came out at once. It built up and built up and then, as if someone flicked a light switch, it stopped. I still was sweating and felt like I was overheating, but in the blink of an eye, it stopped. That's when I realized that I had a big problem. Whenever I had strong feelings about something, they would get shut off.

What I'm trying to say is, if you feel depressed a lot... and you know who you are... don't be afraid to get help. It's pay now or pay later. Years ago, I was embarassed about it and explained it away as normal. When I tried to talk about it to friends, they said "Yeah, I feel that way too" which made me feel invalidated. Now I'm going to a counselor and with some help, I can feel emotions the way I used to for about 45 minutes, but after it's done, I can't remember what a lot of it felt like. I just remember what I was thinking at the time, and some of it was good. It's a scary ordeal, I mean, what happens if I start to feel again, the good and the bad? Who will I become? What in my life will change? It would have been a lot simpler to find a way to get over my worries about seeing a counselor, or been willing to take the time to find a counselor that was right for me. Instead, I'm trying to do what I can to get back the emotion I used to feel, especially the good ones. Bring someone into your life that can organize your thoughts and give you guidance on how you can live your best life, and reach your full potential. For some people, it's just part of growing up.

You've been a member for a while but don't post that much. Thanks for choosing to make one of your few about this subject.

I'm sure you'll help a few people who might need this right now.

 

[Bizkit]

After about a year of living like this, something wonderful/disturbing happened. It stopped. I did not feel depressed any more. It took me quite a while to realize that I was still depressed, I just had lost the ability to feel it.
.

I think what happens is the mind adapts itself and overtime it comes to be the norm.Which is a bad situation and can be a very difficult one to reverse.

You're doing the smart thing in seeing a counselor and I hope it works out for you.Just keep at it and try to discover where your happiness lies.

 

[Eyeshine]

Trust me, my friend, I relate very much. I feel almost that..I went from depressed to empty and numb, and each day seems like I get sink further and further. I was forced to go to therapy when I was underage and living at home with no choice, and that just made things worse. And while you might say that things would be different this time, because it would be my choice, it would be wanting "help", I dont want it, I would rather feel nothing then go back to feeling constant hurt, rejection and denial.

 

[love feet]

do the holidays ever drive you nuts..
in a very depressed way???.

 

[ParanoidChant]

One thing I've learned from my bouts with depression is that the first thing your doctor suggests you do might not work. Same with the next thing ... and the next ... and the next.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't keep trying, though. There are a lot of different ways with feeling constantly lousy, and it's different with each person.

Bleh. I hate trying to give advice though - it always comes off sounding annoying and condescending, but I'm serious: just coz you've tried a few things and it doesn't help doesn't mean that nothing will.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I went through something similar (on a much smaller scale) and you give excellent advice. When you begin to feel things the way you used to, it can be amazing when you're excited or happy, and you feel like whatever action you took to get you here was the best decision you ever made. On the flip side of that, however, is when you start to feel lonely, sad, frustrated or other negative emotions, it takes quite a while to learn how to cope with them in a healthy way. In the meantime, you tend to wish you could go back to how things were, because feeling numb beats the shit outta how you're feeling in that moment. But I'm pretty sure that will pass, too, with time.

Excellent topic TickleSwitch. Good for you for bringing it up and sharing some of your personal history to try and help others.

 

[love feet]

One thing I've learned from my bouts with depression is that the first thing your doctor suggests you do might not work. Same with the next thing ... and the next ... and the next.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't keep trying, though. There are a lot of different ways with feeling constantly lousy, and it's different with each person.

Bleh. I hate trying to give advice though - it always comes off sounding annoying and condescending, but I'm serious: just coz you've tried a few things and it doesn't help doesn't mean that nothing will.

its OK i need all the help i can get!!!

 

[love feet]

This is a september post.

It got dragged up in December. >_>

I'm confused.

The holidays that's why!
i am depressed as hell!!!!

 

[the wiz]

I been living with depression for the last 12 years; I have experience a gambit of emotions. I have been very happy at one point; just to become very sad the next moment. The one emotion which frightened me the most was the complete lack of empathy. Not, only for my own life; but the lives of others.

I thought I manage to control my depression from time to time. However, it just became stronger; I would just sit on my couch days for at a time and never do anything or go anywhere. I would go to bed at 6:30 p.m. and wake up at 1:00 a.m.

In October of this year I decided to seek help; after meeting with a therapist for about a month I was diagnosis as having Post Dramatic Stress. I’m currently seeing another therapist which specializes in this area of depression.

I have a lot of pinned up aggression inside of me; also a lot of rage and closet hatred for myself. I’m starting to learn how to let it out in a constructive way. Well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it for now

 

[QueenMari]

This is a september post.

It got dragged up in December. >_>

I'm confused.

Christmas can make people depressed or actually I should say the Holidays

 

[ZenTickling]

Sometimes these aren't things that you can 'control' or 'get over'. For certain people, no matter how hard they try they can't kick the mood. If that seems like what you're going through I'd talk to a doctor about meds. I take an antidepressant for panic attacks and it changed my life. Be careful though.. many of them have terrible withdrawal symptoms if you every choose to stop taking them.

People preach about medication saying it's only a crutch that doesn't treat the real problem, but for people that need them they're more like insulin for a diabetic.

 

[love feet]

Christmas can make people depressed or actually I should say the Holidays

Very true!!

 

[love feet]

Sometimes these aren't things that you can 'control' or 'get over'. For certain people, no matter how hard they try they can't kick the mood. If that seems like what you're going through I'd talk to a doctor about meds. I take an antidepressant for panic attacks and it changed my life. Be careful though.. many of them have terrible withdrawal symptoms if you every choose to stop taking them.

People preach about medication saying it's only a crutch that doesn't treat the real problem, but for people that need them they're more like insulin for a diabetic.

I was on meds 4 years I than want in to remission for 2 years so fare
so i am off the meds & now the depression may be back!
My first simtime was Very bad dream's about me dieing in every way possible or it about my death OLNLY I DIE SO PEPELE ARE SAFE!! .. this happens every time i sleep!!,

Has anyone else had this happen??

 

[QueenMari]

I've been diagnosed with it like I said but,I don't feel anything just a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders,and lethargy

 

[love feet]

I've been diagnosed with it like I said but,I don't feel anything just a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders,and lethargy

so no bad dream's??

 

[love feet]

???.

 

[love feet]

panic attacks are back oh joy

 

[TangerineTicklee]

Been seeing some posts throughout the forum involving people talking about how depressed they are. Thought you might want to know something.

I'm 26 now. Product of a middle class family with consertive views. Pretty normal childhood as far as I know. In high school I had signs of depression, but most could be explained as growing pains. They were much worse, but easy to hide (although,

After high school I found myself in a situation where many things were going wrong. Traumatic things happened in close succession. I also had absolutely no way to leave the situation or improve it: the definition of helpless. I never thought of killing myself (its not in my nature) but I was not afraid to die. I was so depressed that I wished every time I went to bed that I would slip into a coma. It was that bad. There was no let up. I felt like this every day.

After about a year of living like this, something wonderful/disturbing happened. It stopped. I did not feel depressed any more. It took me quite a while to realize that I was still depressed, I just had lost the ability to feel it.

People would tell me I looked depressed, and I just figured it was the way I looked. Sometimes people would tell me I looked pissed, in a situation where I should have been pissed, but I didn't feel pissed. Even though I was even acting pissed. I lost the ability to feel it.

Later on something happened that I should have been upset about - and I was. In that moment all the feelings that had been involuntarily suppressed came out at once. It built up and built up and then, as if someone flicked a light switch, it stopped. I still was sweating and felt like I was overheating, but in the blink of an eye, it stopped. That's when I realized that I had a big problem. Whenever I had strong feelings about something, they would get shut off.

What I'm trying to say is, if you feel depressed a lot... and you know who you are... don't be afraid to get help. It's pay now or pay later. Years ago, I was embarassed about it and explained it away as normal. When I tried to talk about it to friends, they said "Yeah, I feel that way too" which made me feel invalidated. Now I'm going to a counselor and with some help, I can feel emotions the way I used to for about 45 minutes, but after it's done, I can't remember what a lot of it felt like. I just remember what I was thinking at the time, and some of it was good. It's a scary ordeal, I mean, what happens if I start to feel again, the good and the bad? Who will I become? What in my life will change? It would have been a lot simpler to find a way to get over my worries about seeing a counselor, or been willing to take the time to find a counselor that was right for me. Instead, I'm trying to do what I can to get back the emotion I used to feel, especially the good ones. Bring someone into your life that can organize your thoughts and give you guidance on how you can live your best life, and reach your full potential. For some people, it's just part of growing up.

I feel like this everyday, all the time.

By the way, would a suicide thread be deleted? I'm not sure if anyone tried to post one before, but I want to know whether or not it would be deemed inappropriate and thus removed by the mods.

I have some ... very unique beliefs. I'm an extreme minority here, but in some cases, I do believe that suicide is an acceptable form of self-euthanasia, **depending on the circumstances of the person.

At any rate - great thread.

so no bad dream's??

I suffer from nightmares, too. Sometimes they keep me from sleeping. I have also had a small history of sleep paralysis.

 

[Mitchell]

I used to get depressed about things that I realize are now bullshit. Things like not having a gf, not making enough money, obsessing over things my assistant said, and such. As most on the forum know, my mom was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. Looking back on it now, I'm thinking to myself "Damn, I used to get "depressed" over that shit! Now, mom and I have REALLY got problems.

I think it's natural for people to get depressed at times over life's setbacks. The key is when you let the depression overwhelm you, to the point of not being able to function, or obsessing about what makes you depressed all the time. Trust me, if I could make my mom's cancer go away, or it could get cured, I'd take every one of the fucking things I used to get depressed about, because, I've learned, if you have the necessities of life, you and your loved ones have their health, and the world as a whole is safe, other lesser things can be worked out.

Mitch