How to tickle my best friends feet

[Mitchell]

After reading this thread, my thought is this

As your best friend, there is undoubtedly a great degree of trust between yourself and this person.

Could you perhaps try the straight forward approach and just ask if you can tickle her?

This way she expects it, and you give her an opportunity to discuss the situation.

I would think that sneaking it in on her, or pinning her down, would be a worse scenario than trying it that way.

Maybe I'm wrong, but this is just an option you could think of

 

[magic fingers]

There can't be only one opinion. True, Myriads is correct - but we don't know what kind of person OP is. If he's more egoistic, then he would think differently. He won't care if he's making a sexual object out of his friend.

The main thing here is getting to know how she would treat such behaviour. If she's ok with that - then he is free to tickle her.

Also, there's another thing. We talking about him using her as an object. But most of us did tickle other people who are not part of our community and who are not aware of our fetish. After all, this is a path of any tickler while growing up.

Isn't this also objectifying? If so, then where's the difference? The fact that he might lose a friend? If he's not acting like a creep, it's actually unlikely, I doubt you can really ruin good friendship with tickle fetish.

Myriads is talking about what is morally correct, but I think that people can't be perfect.

Thank you! Finally some common sense. I'm so sick of self righteous people who act as though they're on some sort of moral high ground. People are more willing to shame, and lecture, than they are to advise.

 

[Emberr]

Thank you! Finally some common sense. I'm so sick of self righteous people who act as though they're on some sort of moral high ground. People are more willing to shame, and lecture, than they are to advise.

I definitely agree that there were some responses that felt very shaming. But one thing I learned, especially being in the kink community and playing a lot, is for a lot of folx tickling is a hard limit. I also know for some it's uncomfortable even if they don't know about it being a kink, whether it be from a childhood memory, etc. While it may seem harmless just tickling your friend, I still have to stand by the fact that asking is the right path. So many people playoff being tickled with laughter, when internally they may not like it.

Honestly, if I am not attracted to the person or we have not established being partners, being tickled bothers me. So if someone, even a friend, were to do it I'd be extremely uncomfortable. No moral high ground. Just being honest.

Thanks!

 

[HallowedGround5]

If you want to try it, just do it. People who jabber on about consent tend to be miserable humans. They focus so much energy on gaining unearned moral superiority because that gives them a sense of purpose.

If you do it and they tell you to stop, then stop. If they like it, continue. This isn't rocket science.

 

[SugarSoaker]

I'm actually a very happy human who is just trying to help someone not risk their friendship for a quick thrill without name calling or insulting them, but thanks for your assumption.

If you want to try it, just do it. People who jabber on about consent tend to be miserable humans. They focus so much energy on gaining unearned moral superiority because that gives them a sense of purpose.

If you do it and they tell you to stop, then stop. If they like it, continue. This isn't rocket science.

 

[TMF Jeff]

If you want to try it, just do it. People who jabber on about consent tend to be miserable humans. They focus so much energy on gaining unearned moral superiority because that gives them a sense of purpose.

If you do it and they tell you to stop, then stop. If they like it, continue. This isn't rocket science.

First of all, saying if they tell you to stop, you should stop, IS caring about consent.

But putting that aside, this take is like second-hand embarrassing.

You obviously have no way of knowing who is miserable and who isn't - that's something you're projecting onto people.

Which begs the question - why are you projecting this unjustified negative emotional state onto them? I would guess, based on the context, that you're probably embarrassed by your desires and afraid to talk about them with a potential partner - that's pretty common in our community and it's the problem the OP is having, which is what I think triggered you.

So when people suggest that it would be the right thing to do, you decide that they're trying to morally high-road you and you feel like you have to diminish them, in order to not feel like you've been accused of being bad.

And I notice you conveniently ignored the part where he suggested misleading his friend about why he's doing it, because it doesn't fit your pre-existing narrative that trying to actually communicate with someone about what you want is a waste of time and/or a fake moral stance.

Here's the reality - people say what they believe. It's not an attempt to claim the moral high ground. It's just what they feel is the right thing to do in a given situation. And frankly, asking for consent/being clear about what you want is hardly some kind of controversial viewpoint where you could justify being suspicious about people's motivation for suggesting it - it's pretty much the standard for decent behavior between two people.

What's questionable is when someone doesn't want to do that - when they want to engage in some kind of fetish activity with another person, but specifically do not want to tell the other person that that's what's going on.

Or when someone angrily defends another person's right to do that and attacks anyone who disagrees.

 

[00feather]

Honestly, I wouldn't do it. I honestly struggled with this as well in my head a few times growing up and being the age I am now I am honestly very glad I never acted upon those desires. Might be a European thing but the topic of fetishes comes up A LOT in casual conversation with friends here. We usually talk about the really wild ones over some video we have seen floating around online but if tickling ever comes up and I ever did go all out you would lose friends. Quickly.

And yes, consent is really important. Because if they find out later tickling is something that gets you off you can't play it off as something fun and quirky you did. They will know, they will change their opinion on you and eventually or immediately they will stop being your friend.

Tickling is something sexual for most of us. Unless you are on that level with her it is simply a no go. Especially with you going in with a plan like you are. Plenty of casual opportunities will rise up. But if you are planning how to do it you are on the wrong track.