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Tickling fetish - Do you choose it or does it choose you ?

Most lers enjoy tickling because the lee is enjoying him/herself. That doesn't mean they don't have the fetish. It just means part of what they enjoy about it is bringing joy to someone else.

But at the same time, it doesn't mean that merely liking to help somebody enjoy themself constitutes having a fetish.
 
That's true, but that's an example of a fetish developing from an association, not a choice.

But, it's still a fetish. Which in a roundabout way says that it is possible to have a fetish even if by association and not genetic circumstance.

Or even by genetic circumstance.
 
That's true, but that's an example of a fetish developing from an association, not a choice.

Putting yourself in a position to learn about and/or except/embrace a fetish, is a choice. You may not be able to choose the outcome. Michael could have said to me, "Look, I think it's great that you're into this, but it's just not my thing..sorry," because despite his best efforts he just couldn't get into it. But putting himself out there was a choice. So maybe what I'm trying to say is, maybe you can't exactly choose TO have a fetish...but I think you can choose NOT to...make sense?
 
But, it's still a fetish. Which in a roundabout way says that it is possible to have a fetish even if by association and not genetic circumstance.

Or even by genetic circumstance.

Oh of course, I never argued that fetishes are definitely innate. I'm saying it's either innate or developed - but when it's developed, it's developed through associations, trauamas... things that are subconscious and have nothing to do with simply using willpower to make something sexy to you.
 
Putting yourself in a position to learn about and/or except/embrace a fetish, is a choice. You may not be able to choose the outcome. Michael could have said to me, "Look, I think it's great that you're into this, but it's just not my thing..sorry," because despite his best efforts he just couldn't get into it. But putting himself out there was a choice. So maybe what I'm trying to say is, maybe you can't exactly choose TO have a fetish...but I think you can choose NOT to...make sense?

Yeah I get what you're saying. I don't think we're actually arguing the same thing. You can definitely choose to shun something, you can choose to have an open mind and see what happens.
 
Oh of course, I never argued that fetishes are definitely innate. I'm saying it's either innate or developed - but when it's developed, it's developed through associations, trauamas... things that are subconscious and have nothing to do with simply using willpower to make something sexy to you.

Can't exertion of willpower be obtained through circumstance, though?
 
The desire to exert willpower happens due to circumstance.

There has to be a circumstance for any form of Will to want to be executed.

...right? Or am I way off base here.

Yeah I can understand that as a general statement.

Here's an example. Let's say I have a girlfriend who likes being spanked. I decide to be open minded and give it a try. Eventually, I start to really enjoy spanking her because it turns her on, becomes part of foreplay and in my mind becomes associated with sex. The result is, I'm turned on by spanking.

Would you consider this to be an example of choosing to be turned on by spanking? I would not. The process was:

Me ---> the choice to try spanking ---> the association between spanking and sex ---> the development of a spanking kink

What's causing the kink are the subconscious forces of association. Not my choice. It could easily have been that I tried spanking, and it became a chore, and never turned me on. You cannot choose which.

It's not as if I can enter "fetish" into google, pick the 33rd result, examine its merits and decide to adopt it as a fetish.
 
It's not as if I can enter "fetish" into google, pick the 33rd result, examine its merits and decide to adopt it as a fetish.

You just totally destroyed my debate. :shock2:

Give me something else to speak to. lawl.
 
:zomgrabbit:

No, srsly.

Give me another angle.

These new emoticons are ridiculous...

I'm not sure there are any other angles. We covered biological determinism, development through social experience, and the idea of direct choice.

Other than divine intervention, there really aren't any other causes for anything. :shrug:
 
I didn't choose it; I've had it since I can remember (which is back to age 4). :D

Can't say it any better than that. That being said, I have chosen to embrace said fetish....but I didn't "choose" to have it. It's been a part of me as long as I can remember.
 
didnt choose it

its something i love but in a way its been a curse ive tried to satisfy it but there just isnt enough outlets for me ive spent alot of money and time puruing it. ive tried to analyze it buthavent come up with alot of answers. im one of those people that loves pretty women but usually when i see one sooner or later i begin to wonder how ticklish she is and how much fun it would be to tickle her feet.unfortunately its the biggest reason that i havent had relationships that lasted a long time. i remember watching a cartoon when i was a child called space kiddettes which a little fellow is captured wont tell where the treasure map is and has his feet tickled by the nuclear feather tickler or when john had his feet licked by spot in my first grade reader at a certain age i began to visualize me tickling the feet of my female classmates i didnt know there were other people like me until i was 19 way before the computer age. i love it but i didnt choose it things could have been different
 
It definitely chose me. I was 6 or 7 when a boy I knew from school constantly used to tickle me and I LOVED it.
I'm happy being a chosen one :)
 
It most definitely has chosen me, I did not choose it. Tickling found me at a later age after high school and soon after being in college and finding my hubby ticklebear 2, he showed me how great and wonderful and enjoyable that tickling could be...so I did not choose it, it chose me.
I must say I am happy that it chose me, tickling is wonderful, love the rush that comes over me when I am being playfully tickled and when I am dishing out the tickles, so great!!!!!!!!!:xpulcy::xpulcy::xpulcy:;);););):dogpile:
 
It definitely chose me. I've been into it for as long as I can remember.
 
Yep it chose me....As a young girl as young as 4, for as long as I can remember it was there even well before I could understand it. No matter how many attempts I've made to try and hide it & repress it, it was only temporarily pushed aside. I have a love/hate thing for it.
 
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