I would still like to know what that means.I don't have a clue.
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What "side of the road" do you feel you're on? -- Why can't we merge?
- Thread starter CrystalLight
- Start date
I would still like to know what that means.I don't have a clue.
I think it means Quoted For The Win.
I didn't either, so here's a valuable resource of other 'hip terminnology' that I neither of us seem to know:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=qftw
QFTW means 'Quote for the win'; meaning support for what was said.
But I'm sure someone cooler and smarter with this jargon can and should explain it better.
Morpheus72
TMF Expert
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2005
- Messages
- 408
- Points
- 0
My take...
I've read with interest most of the "clique" related threads, and much of the material related to divisions in the community, and I'm finally ready to share my thoughts on what is obviously a very complicated and emotional issue for many.
First and foremost, I don't think that "cliques" exist here in the TMF universe. This is one of the most open and welcoming places I've run across on the internet. That being said, there are groups of very close-knit friends on here, and because of that there are many instances of group dynamics on the forum, and many, many cases of "group think" going on -- that is, many people seem to follow along with certain posters and/or trends because they want to be liked and accepted. That leads to others feeling that there are divisions in the forum.
Guess what? There are divisions, and there are all kinds of group dynamics going on. JUST LIKE REAL PEOPLE IN REAL GROUPS IN REAL LIFE!!!!
That's the key, I think. Very few people consciously *exclude* others from these groups -- that's why there aren't cliques here. A clique is basically a group who collectively says, "these people can't hang out with us, simply because they're not COOL enough." I don't see that going on here. Now, if you act like an ASS, you would probably get excluded, but that's as it should be.
But there are divisions. Hell, I'm apart from many, many people on the forum, simply because I am not like most of the active players in the forum. The tickling I like best is far gentler than most of what I see on here, and tickling in my life is 99% in an erotic/sexualized context. I have little desire for my tickling to be in the context of BDSM, or even involving serious bondage. I guess some might say the tickling I like isn't really tickling, and that's okay. I like what I like, and that does set me apart some from the forum in general. Because tickling is so sexualized for me, I don't really have a desire to attend a formal gathering. I'd just be too "charged up" and ultimately frustrated for most of the time. And yes, I know gatherings involve much more than tickling. Also, I don't post a great deal, I'm not in chat a lot, and I haven't met many forum-ites in real life.
I don't for one second think I'm being purposely excluded though. Those that feel that way are probably upset that they're not in one of the tight-knit groups -- mere speculation on my part however.
So in sum: Divisions? Sure, just like real life. We're not gonna all hold hands and sing about peace and love and unity, simply because life isn't like that. But cliques? Willful exclusion and meanness on the part of groups of friends? Not so much.
There's my $2.02 for ya!
Morph
I've read with interest most of the "clique" related threads, and much of the material related to divisions in the community, and I'm finally ready to share my thoughts on what is obviously a very complicated and emotional issue for many.
First and foremost, I don't think that "cliques" exist here in the TMF universe. This is one of the most open and welcoming places I've run across on the internet. That being said, there are groups of very close-knit friends on here, and because of that there are many instances of group dynamics on the forum, and many, many cases of "group think" going on -- that is, many people seem to follow along with certain posters and/or trends because they want to be liked and accepted. That leads to others feeling that there are divisions in the forum.
Guess what? There are divisions, and there are all kinds of group dynamics going on. JUST LIKE REAL PEOPLE IN REAL GROUPS IN REAL LIFE!!!!
That's the key, I think. Very few people consciously *exclude* others from these groups -- that's why there aren't cliques here. A clique is basically a group who collectively says, "these people can't hang out with us, simply because they're not COOL enough." I don't see that going on here. Now, if you act like an ASS, you would probably get excluded, but that's as it should be.
But there are divisions. Hell, I'm apart from many, many people on the forum, simply because I am not like most of the active players in the forum. The tickling I like best is far gentler than most of what I see on here, and tickling in my life is 99% in an erotic/sexualized context. I have little desire for my tickling to be in the context of BDSM, or even involving serious bondage. I guess some might say the tickling I like isn't really tickling, and that's okay. I like what I like, and that does set me apart some from the forum in general. Because tickling is so sexualized for me, I don't really have a desire to attend a formal gathering. I'd just be too "charged up" and ultimately frustrated for most of the time. And yes, I know gatherings involve much more than tickling. Also, I don't post a great deal, I'm not in chat a lot, and I haven't met many forum-ites in real life.
I don't for one second think I'm being purposely excluded though. Those that feel that way are probably upset that they're not in one of the tight-knit groups -- mere speculation on my part however.
So in sum: Divisions? Sure, just like real life. We're not gonna all hold hands and sing about peace and love and unity, simply because life isn't like that. But cliques? Willful exclusion and meanness on the part of groups of friends? Not so much.
There's my $2.02 for ya!
Morph
Mods don't have sides...we man the drawbridges and keep the road clear of large potholes.
Basically we're the NYCity Sanitation Department with less smelly clothes and no cool bigass trucks.
Just wish we could somehow remember each and every day that there's a very very limited number of "us" who are wired this way.
And there was time when there was no way to even vaguely guesstimate if others such as ourselves existed.
It was a bad time......
When I first found this home I and a few other earlybirds ( doesn't that sound better than oldtimers?) often speculated on any *connective* factors we all might share. The theories abounded. High I.Q. .... Low I.Q.....musical ability or lack thereof...superior sexual prowess ( yeah...my favorite too) and a host of other possibilities.
And then we began to see just how many we actually were...and how varied we actually were.
That was a good time.
And now we take it all very much for granted all too often.
I post less each year.
It makes me a more effective mod. I have no connections to bias me.
But eventually I will step down.
Because its lonelier.
Folks, you should enjoy this forum and every once in awhile stop a second and imagine life without knowing all you currently know about "us" and yourself because of it. Imagine not having a place to go and chat about this fascination (in whatever form you may be wired towards) with people who you KNOW understand the intensity and hunger and fluttery feeling in the pit of your stomach and all the other manifestations of our paraphilia.
Next Thanksgiving spare a thought for the TMF and the other sites like it. Don't dwell on it or shed tears and get worked up about the topic...just give it a fleeting moment,ok?
Late...old people tend to ramble when it's late.
As you were.
Q
Basically we're the NYCity Sanitation Department with less smelly clothes and no cool bigass trucks.
Just wish we could somehow remember each and every day that there's a very very limited number of "us" who are wired this way.
And there was time when there was no way to even vaguely guesstimate if others such as ourselves existed.
It was a bad time......
When I first found this home I and a few other earlybirds ( doesn't that sound better than oldtimers?) often speculated on any *connective* factors we all might share. The theories abounded. High I.Q. .... Low I.Q.....musical ability or lack thereof...superior sexual prowess ( yeah...my favorite too) and a host of other possibilities.
And then we began to see just how many we actually were...and how varied we actually were.
That was a good time.
And now we take it all very much for granted all too often.
I post less each year.
It makes me a more effective mod. I have no connections to bias me.
But eventually I will step down.
Because its lonelier.
Folks, you should enjoy this forum and every once in awhile stop a second and imagine life without knowing all you currently know about "us" and yourself because of it. Imagine not having a place to go and chat about this fascination (in whatever form you may be wired towards) with people who you KNOW understand the intensity and hunger and fluttery feeling in the pit of your stomach and all the other manifestations of our paraphilia.
Next Thanksgiving spare a thought for the TMF and the other sites like it. Don't dwell on it or shed tears and get worked up about the topic...just give it a fleeting moment,ok?
Late...old people tend to ramble when it's late.
As you were.
Q
So very well said.
Sandrock74
4th Level Green Feather
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2001
- Messages
- 4,775
- Points
- 0
Well, I go all the way back to the ATM (I had a different screenname then, but I rarely posted anyway). Then I was "here" back when it was Psycho's Tickling Forum (or whatever it was called) and then I finally got around to registering here way back in 2001. So, I guess that makes me one of the old timers here.
While I do think of myself as one of the "old timers", I was only around 21 or so, and I was one of the younger people around back then. It always felt to me that all the regular posters were old friends, but I never thought of them as a clique...just people who had gotten to know each other already. I pretty much stuck to the art forum here and made some friends there. I will still say that the art forum probably has the least amount of drama of anywhere on the TMF! LOL
I finally decided to come out of my shell, figuritively speaking, this year and I went to a gathering and met a lot of people from here. The result so far is that I have befriended A LOT of new people in these past few months and I have a lot of people to talk to nowadays. I'm not a part of any clique, but I do count people like Cy/MiG and Adam as my buddies
They supported me in my failed bid to take over the forum and I'll be sure to have their backs if they ever need me. Maybe that would make us more like a gang?
Anyway, I guess I count myself as a middle of the road kind of guy. I try not to play favorites and I'm not aware of having any enemies. I'm far from perfect (aren't we all?), but I also don't take much too serious. The TMF is a fun place for me to come to and be a smartass and relax. I think some people take this place and/or themselves far too serious and, at times, that tends to spill out into odd conflicts.
But what do I know?
While I do think of myself as one of the "old timers", I was only around 21 or so, and I was one of the younger people around back then. It always felt to me that all the regular posters were old friends, but I never thought of them as a clique...just people who had gotten to know each other already. I pretty much stuck to the art forum here and made some friends there. I will still say that the art forum probably has the least amount of drama of anywhere on the TMF! LOL
I finally decided to come out of my shell, figuritively speaking, this year and I went to a gathering and met a lot of people from here. The result so far is that I have befriended A LOT of new people in these past few months and I have a lot of people to talk to nowadays. I'm not a part of any clique, but I do count people like Cy/MiG and Adam as my buddies
They supported me in my failed bid to take over the forum and I'll be sure to have their backs if they ever need me. Maybe that would make us more like a gang?Anyway, I guess I count myself as a middle of the road kind of guy. I try not to play favorites and I'm not aware of having any enemies. I'm far from perfect (aren't we all?), but I also don't take much too serious. The TMF is a fun place for me to come to and be a smartass and relax. I think some people take this place and/or themselves far too serious and, at times, that tends to spill out into odd conflicts.
But what do I know?
Bohemianne
Verified
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- May 11, 2007
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- 8,204
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- 38
My main motivation of being here at TMF is for the arts. But because of the existence of ideas, especially at GD, I get attracted to respond. I have enjoyed a lot of witty ideas around here, though I know they are just pure opinions. Seeing how people shoot ideas in different perspective is amusing in itself. You see different personalities behind the word. I'm more interested in this than getting impressions from profiles.
I will not stress myself here with arguments, unless one directly attacks me. My crazy brain is for official use only, lol.
I will not stress myself here with arguments, unless one directly attacks me. My crazy brain is for official use only, lol.
Mister Scruff
1st Level Orange Feather
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- May 25, 2008
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- 0
I come here to download free tickling clips and say things that anger people. I count myself as fairly succesful on both counts. As to which side of the road we're on, I am on no side; I am sitting in the middle of it playing with my toy trains.
I feel like an outsider, the personalities of the forum moves like a might rushing flood. However, in my time here I notice this forum reflects normal everyday life. There are certain people who have more access to the power elite (much like a lobbyist has special access to members of congress) then others.
Neither the power elite, nor the “lobbyist” sees this as a problem; but an everyday occurrence. In addition, when you mix human emotions with some of the high emotional topics which is expressed here on a daily bases; tempers tends to get hot and feels tends to be hurt. You take the chance of having your comments misinterpreted by someone whom you never meet.
If you don’t fit a certain criteria set forth by older members of the forum; you run the rest of being ousted before you ever get in. If you have, a “history” of being on the forum’s “SPEICAL HIGH INTENITY TRAINING LIST” a.k.a. shit list.
The likely hood of you every being “accepted” is vitally non-existent. I have run the full gambit of emotions since I been here. I am afraid of the mod here; when I see, a mod made a comment on a post I stay away. If a mod comment to me personally I don’t reply, because again when you dealing with people you only communicate with over the internet you don’t know how they are going to take your response.
My batting average with “well establish” members would be about 110; and my batting average with mods would be half of that if not lower.
True, there are a finite numbers of mods to regulate the site; however, with great power, comes great responsibility. Paraphrasing from a post from one of the CEO Mods, we (the rest of the mods) make a decision on whom to invite to become a mod.
That by itself sounds like the beginning of a very exclusive club.
These are just my feeling on my experiences here; my hands have been slapped “rightfully so” from some stupid things I posted. Also, I have been wrong chastised becomes another member didn’t’ like my response specially when I’m defending myself from attack.
I decided to become a part-time lurker; and many stick to the football pool. Dealing with most of the members on her has become very frustrating to me lately. Maybe if I’m allowed to attend a NEST (talking about my wife) I will get to meet some of you I’m currently very leery about and we can come together as at least members of the same group if not friends.
In closing this site is a God send; and I have nothing but high praise for the ones how had the courage and foresight to undergo the endure to start and maintain this FREE site at a great cost to themselves. I also, have great respect for the rest of the mods who take on the thankless job of keep the site flowing.
As a member of this site, it’s my responsibility to follow the rules set forth in writing. It’s the rules that changes from second to second and person to person I have problems with.
However, just like everything else in life there is room for improvement on everyone part.
Neither the power elite, nor the “lobbyist” sees this as a problem; but an everyday occurrence. In addition, when you mix human emotions with some of the high emotional topics which is expressed here on a daily bases; tempers tends to get hot and feels tends to be hurt. You take the chance of having your comments misinterpreted by someone whom you never meet.
If you don’t fit a certain criteria set forth by older members of the forum; you run the rest of being ousted before you ever get in. If you have, a “history” of being on the forum’s “SPEICAL HIGH INTENITY TRAINING LIST” a.k.a. shit list.
The likely hood of you every being “accepted” is vitally non-existent. I have run the full gambit of emotions since I been here. I am afraid of the mod here; when I see, a mod made a comment on a post I stay away. If a mod comment to me personally I don’t reply, because again when you dealing with people you only communicate with over the internet you don’t know how they are going to take your response.
My batting average with “well establish” members would be about 110; and my batting average with mods would be half of that if not lower.
True, there are a finite numbers of mods to regulate the site; however, with great power, comes great responsibility. Paraphrasing from a post from one of the CEO Mods, we (the rest of the mods) make a decision on whom to invite to become a mod.
That by itself sounds like the beginning of a very exclusive club.
These are just my feeling on my experiences here; my hands have been slapped “rightfully so” from some stupid things I posted. Also, I have been wrong chastised becomes another member didn’t’ like my response specially when I’m defending myself from attack.
I decided to become a part-time lurker; and many stick to the football pool. Dealing with most of the members on her has become very frustrating to me lately. Maybe if I’m allowed to attend a NEST (talking about my wife) I will get to meet some of you I’m currently very leery about and we can come together as at least members of the same group if not friends.
In closing this site is a God send; and I have nothing but high praise for the ones how had the courage and foresight to undergo the endure to start and maintain this FREE site at a great cost to themselves. I also, have great respect for the rest of the mods who take on the thankless job of keep the site flowing.
As a member of this site, it’s my responsibility to follow the rules set forth in writing. It’s the rules that changes from second to second and person to person I have problems with.
However, just like everything else in life there is room for improvement on everyone part.
RUNOFFSTAGE
4th Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2007
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- 1,877
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- 0
When I first came here, I instantly noticed who were "the runners" of this forum - those who posted a lot and had met each other irl, attended NEST, etc. I began to think that these people wouldn't let anyone else in, and boy, was I ever more wrong? Sure, it takes some time to feel like you are seen, as in any place, but it's not hard. Having said that, I can still get all surprised and excited when someone new says "hi" to me xD
I can understand that some people feel like they are left out in some way, but when they say that they are, I always wonder if they've actually tried to speak to people or just assume that they won't get an answer even if they try. It's not like one can simply sit and wait for the pm's and visitor messages to roll in, it takes some contributing too.
My belief is that every single member of this forum has something to share with the rest of us, whether it's knowledge or experience. There are so many different aspects of this forum - the chat, P&R, GD, TD, TMF radio, etc. There must be something that tickles your pickle. (pun intended)
I have no idea where I stand. Sometimes I can feel like standing on the outside looking in, since I live so far away from the people on this forum that have become closest to my heart, which can't be helped. On the other hand, just coming here, and talking to people on IM makes me feel seen and loved, oh so loved.
Sorry for not really answering your question, Jo. But it is a great thread, indeed :]
I can understand that some people feel like they are left out in some way, but when they say that they are, I always wonder if they've actually tried to speak to people or just assume that they won't get an answer even if they try. It's not like one can simply sit and wait for the pm's and visitor messages to roll in, it takes some contributing too.
My belief is that every single member of this forum has something to share with the rest of us, whether it's knowledge or experience. There are so many different aspects of this forum - the chat, P&R, GD, TD, TMF radio, etc. There must be something that tickles your pickle. (pun intended)
I have no idea where I stand. Sometimes I can feel like standing on the outside looking in, since I live so far away from the people on this forum that have become closest to my heart, which can't be helped. On the other hand, just coming here, and talking to people on IM makes me feel seen and loved, oh so loved.
Sorry for not really answering your question, Jo. But it is a great thread, indeed :]
Marquis De Sade
1st Level Blue Feather
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2007
- Messages
- 5,175
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I don't feel like I'm on any side if there truly are any. I just like cool people and have been lucky enough to have made some awesome friends here that rock and will continue to reach out and hopefully make more. I like to stay away from drama as much as possible and conduct myself here how I do in real life. I don't belong to any cliques in real life, I just know a lotta people and try and keep good company. Drama/gossip bores me and things move much faster when you just agree to disagree and respect someone else's opinions on a particular subject, move on and try and find common ground.
For the most part, a HUGE majority of members here are totally awesome. Even some of the people I've never really spoken to before.
I don't know... I wonder how much use there is in talking about these things anymore...
I don't mean to discourage those with genuine interest in healing rifts, but there will always be new ones. I tend to think it's in the greater interests of the community to take some time for introspection and consider what actions oneself can take to diminish antagonism here.
For instance, I didn't post in the "What happened with Drew70" thread. I was tempted. I could have spouted off with my self-assumed wisdom... In fact, I'd written a partial response, but then scrapped it. Why? Because while I agree with some of the broader decisions, my personal criticisms of other actions from both parties would have probably sparked more unnecessary brouhaha over the matter -- which I would have, in turn, felt obligated to re-engage in until the end. It would have drawn out the discussion, stoked the fires, and gone on and on... Who needs that? Not me, not the community. Our interests are aligned. Besides, I know my views on the matter, I know those of others -- what more need I know?
I think people make too many decisions out of ego and ignorance than consider what's truly good for the community. My advice (to those who are interested) would be to consider your own actions more than concern yourself with those of others. You'll sooner move yourself than them anyway.
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
-- Mahatma Gandhi
Mister Scruff
1st Level Orange Feather
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I fixed your quote Capnman.
Marquis De Sade
1st Level Blue Feather
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- Nov 21, 2007
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Thanks kindly, Charlie... You're a good man to have around! I'd've missed that otherwise...
But now that we've had our token tangent, let's allow someone to get it back on track, lest we upset the purpose.
Excess
3rd Level Indigo Feather
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- May 9, 2006
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No you didn't. You got it totally wrong. It's BACK the fuck up!
But I dunno Capn, seems it's pretty much been finished. Unless someone comes alone and makes a really controversial statement...
VIBES
I've only just recently started posting more on the TMF(atleast more so then i ever have before) and i've only been to two gatherings so far, so its still a little soon for me to say wether i feel like i'm on one side of the road or the other, or to notice the existence of inner circles or clix. One thing i could say i've noticed is vibes. Most of the people that i've met at the first two gatherings were friendly, receptive, fun and giving off really great vibes. which i'm glad to say has already led to some new friendships! Which was exactly what i hoped to achieve by stepping out of the shadows of lurking. I did however notice a few people giving off a different vibe. kinda of a "i don't know you so go away" or "Don't even think about tickling me buddy!" One of these people walked past me and i swear i actually felt a CHILL! BRRRR! let me tell ya, i really hope that the futher into this COMMUNITY i get, i won't find myself having to decide on one set of friends or another! It would totally defeat my goal...build friendships with anyone..ANYONE who also has a tickling fetish! PLEASE....NO DIVISIONS!!
I've only just recently started posting more on the TMF(atleast more so then i ever have before) and i've only been to two gatherings so far, so its still a little soon for me to say wether i feel like i'm on one side of the road or the other, or to notice the existence of inner circles or clix. One thing i could say i've noticed is vibes. Most of the people that i've met at the first two gatherings were friendly, receptive, fun and giving off really great vibes. which i'm glad to say has already led to some new friendships! Which was exactly what i hoped to achieve by stepping out of the shadows of lurking. I did however notice a few people giving off a different vibe. kinda of a "i don't know you so go away" or "Don't even think about tickling me buddy!" One of these people walked past me and i swear i actually felt a CHILL! BRRRR! let me tell ya, i really hope that the futher into this COMMUNITY i get, i won't find myself having to decide on one set of friends or another! It would totally defeat my goal...build friendships with anyone..ANYONE who also has a tickling fetish! PLEASE....NO DIVISIONS!!
BigNorm
3rd Level Violet Feather
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- Oct 6, 2002
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ok, i'll add my 2 cents.
coming from an outside perspective, since i'm mostly a member of TT, it does seem there is some kinda cool group that seems to have a lotta say in things. things i've heard from friends get me weary too. a few people told me that if your signature has someone sucking a pacifier, your in the inner core, so to speak. don't know this for sure, just what i hear from friends and such.
but also it can seem overwhelming here. posts happen so fast the average person can't keep up with it all. and personally, i do feel there are some sorta cliques around here, but i'm not trying to flame or anything. you wanted opinions and what i've heard, you got it.
just my 2 cents.
coming from an outside perspective, since i'm mostly a member of TT, it does seem there is some kinda cool group that seems to have a lotta say in things. things i've heard from friends get me weary too. a few people told me that if your signature has someone sucking a pacifier, your in the inner core, so to speak. don't know this for sure, just what i hear from friends and such.
but also it can seem overwhelming here. posts happen so fast the average person can't keep up with it all. and personally, i do feel there are some sorta cliques around here, but i'm not trying to flame or anything. you wanted opinions and what i've heard, you got it.
just my 2 cents.
Artoo
Verified
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- Aug 25, 2007
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- 11,181
- Points
- 38
I guess I consider myself to be walking down the central reservation; it's not like I'm not known and liked by a few people on here, but that's exactly what it is - a few. I'd wager there's a lot people don't know about me - perhaps it's something to do with living across the pond.
I am in the stage currently of posting more often to get my name out there. I think part of the problem is people can be impatient or get frustrated easily. Couple that with the fact I'm sure with this crazy fetish that we have all lived with/live with fear of rejection so that it's hard to be overly sociable due to pessimism/lack of confidence. I have felt envious of the crowd that had the means/gumption to meet in person at gatherings but I don't feel excluded in any way, shape or form. I don't view it as a clique but moreso a base of friends with high post counts and similar interests.maniactickler
Verified
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- Mar 11, 2002
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Id consider myself more of an outsider. im not one to get involved with cliques. i pretty much like to keep to myself. thats not really hard to do considering my flatulence problem.
Another great post. The line will always be there. People's own minds are what normally hold them the most hostage. Happens to every single one of us out in the real world. From the thoughts of "will he/she like me" to "I'd love to go join those people in the lunch room at work because I love their ideas" to "maybe I can eat this piece of cake, because I'll work extra hard tomorrow" etc. Every want, need, decision comes with some kind of wrestling with one's own mind and weighing the consequences with it, too the point that our own mood, personality, conscious will fuck with us if we let it. That's not all bad either. I worked with a guy that had NO mental filter, and didn't do those things and was proud to boast to people, "hey I say what's on mind and don't hold back, and am proud of that". Yea, that didn't work so well on the friendship front when you're introduced to someone new and you just say "good to meet you, you're kinda fat". 
Anyway, these are the same things people wrestle with everyday. They see groups of people that are tight knit and let their own minds tell them, "yea, they're super close friends and I think I'd just be an outsider. I don't have the history they do and probably won't fit in". They refuse to self analyze themselves and understand, that that is not that group of friends' problem to deal with, it is theirs. It is just so much easier passing the buck off on someone else, and it's easier to say they are excluded. We all do this a lot in life outside of here even in the most mundane ways. The things you can let your mind fabricate are endless.
I can't speak for others, but when I delurked earlier in the year, I knew NO ONE. Not a single person. All I knew is I'm going to be the exact person I am in everyday life. I like that person. I'm proud of that person and make friends without problem. I will be me and they will like me, or they won't, they will take it or leave it. I CAN NOT be spending my time online worrying if people will like me. TMF Radio was just launching at the time I delurked, so I made an account with BTR and decided to go check out these shows. I wasn't over bearing or trying to impress anyone. I just went to the show, said hi upon entering and contributed to discussions going on, or jokes being made (which are all part of "me"), and went to the shows every night at 11pm est. Well not a week had gone by, and people were already recognizing me and calling me out with a "heey krazie!!" when I entered and made me feel like part of the family. I didn't campaign, I didn't kiss ass, I just participated. That is it. That is how I started. But had I not been welcomed (and I don't mean shunned or excluded) I would have continued to post and enjoy the place like I did the first 8 years before delurking. I'm not here to impress strangers.
Then everything for the rest of this year has been a blast. I've made lifelong friends who have welcomed me into their homes and are welcome in mine. I talk to some every single day, on IM or phone, regardless of whether I ever sign into the forum or not. I've flown the length of the country twice to see some of them. I love these people, and every one of them started out as a total stranger. Now we are as tight as sealed tupperware. But the lid can ALWAYS be open and the container is never too small not to have enough room for more.
To further illustrate the point that it is not a just a group of lemmings. We don't all share every one of the same friends. Most of us will give each other's friends a fair shake and already think pretty good of them out of respect and love of each other, but in the end, that person's interactions with said people, will dictate if they are friends are not. We can't and don't try to make people friends who clearly don't like each other. That is between those two people alone and I can totally respect a person's reasons, if legit, for not liking someone I like. Each relationship is between two people, and there is another shared relationship between all those who get along well. Again no one excludes anyone on the basis of whether or not someone else approves or not.
I like the side of the road I'm on, but I'm only there because I crossed the street. I welcome all to do the same.
Anyway, these are the same things people wrestle with everyday. They see groups of people that are tight knit and let their own minds tell them, "yea, they're super close friends and I think I'd just be an outsider. I don't have the history they do and probably won't fit in". They refuse to self analyze themselves and understand, that that is not that group of friends' problem to deal with, it is theirs. It is just so much easier passing the buck off on someone else, and it's easier to say they are excluded. We all do this a lot in life outside of here even in the most mundane ways. The things you can let your mind fabricate are endless.
I can't speak for others, but when I delurked earlier in the year, I knew NO ONE. Not a single person. All I knew is I'm going to be the exact person I am in everyday life. I like that person. I'm proud of that person and make friends without problem. I will be me and they will like me, or they won't, they will take it or leave it. I CAN NOT be spending my time online worrying if people will like me. TMF Radio was just launching at the time I delurked, so I made an account with BTR and decided to go check out these shows. I wasn't over bearing or trying to impress anyone. I just went to the show, said hi upon entering and contributed to discussions going on, or jokes being made (which are all part of "me"), and went to the shows every night at 11pm est. Well not a week had gone by, and people were already recognizing me and calling me out with a "heey krazie!!" when I entered and made me feel like part of the family. I didn't campaign, I didn't kiss ass, I just participated. That is it. That is how I started. But had I not been welcomed (and I don't mean shunned or excluded) I would have continued to post and enjoy the place like I did the first 8 years before delurking. I'm not here to impress strangers.
Then everything for the rest of this year has been a blast. I've made lifelong friends who have welcomed me into their homes and are welcome in mine. I talk to some every single day, on IM or phone, regardless of whether I ever sign into the forum or not. I've flown the length of the country twice to see some of them. I love these people, and every one of them started out as a total stranger. Now we are as tight as sealed tupperware. But the lid can ALWAYS be open and the container is never too small not to have enough room for more.
To further illustrate the point that it is not a just a group of lemmings. We don't all share every one of the same friends. Most of us will give each other's friends a fair shake and already think pretty good of them out of respect and love of each other, but in the end, that person's interactions with said people, will dictate if they are friends are not. We can't and don't try to make people friends who clearly don't like each other. That is between those two people alone and I can totally respect a person's reasons, if legit, for not liking someone I like. Each relationship is between two people, and there is another shared relationship between all those who get along well. Again no one excludes anyone on the basis of whether or not someone else approves or not.
I like the side of the road I'm on, but I'm only there because I crossed the street. I welcome all to do the same.
