Why do some people choose not to go to gatherings???

[tickler118]

I would go to one except that I'm stranded on an island in the Atlantic ocean!!!

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I live less than an hour from Philly, and it was years before I worked up the courage to go to NEST. For me, my biggest concern was that I didn't know anyone on the forum, and I'm actually really shy around people I don't know. So I assumed that I wouldn't make friend/nobody would like me and I'd have a terrible time. I never really made the decision to go to a gathering. I made the decision to become more active on the forum, and I made the decision to tell my fiance at the time about the forum and gatherings. He made the decision that I was going to a gathering LOL He dragged me, practically kicking and screaming, to my first gathering in November 2008 - and I couldn't be happier that he did. Every single person I met there was so incredibly warm and welcoming. I can't imagine not going to a gathering now, unless it was financially impossible or something.

 

[Adam]

Everyone else has already covered the really good reasons why people might not go. From my personal experience, early on, it was the feeling that I didn't know enough people on a level that would make me comfortable interacting with them for the duration of the event. That and I was still a bit shy about my fetish and thought I might feel awkward, even around others that had it. In more recent years, totally having accepted who I am and what I like, there have been financial reasons that have held me back. I finally did get myself out to a munch last year, which was awesome. Hopefully I'll be able to do so more often.

 

[milagros317]

Some people are just uncomfortable about large groups of people on any occasion and so they don't go to a gathering for the same reason that they dread going to a large wedding or birthday party.

 

[tkltkltkl]

My experience with gatherings...

I have attended three tickle gatherings in Los Angeles, Calif. in the past 5 years or so. The first one was wonderful. The second was meh because it was filled with people who thought they were some kind of celebrity in the world of tickling and acted like it, as if the community owed them something. Even in the tickling community I like my heroes humble.

The third was ridiculous. That's the one I walked out of. There was this girl tied down to a table who was an asthmatic and all these guys surrounded her like hungry wolves surrounding a helpless lamb. I didn't hang around to watch their feasting. After that experience I never attended a gathering again.

The wonderful one was filled with friendly people both male and female. I made a few friends but nothing long lasting. I played the role of a tickler that day and brought along my "Box of Tickle" which was filled with all sorts of tickle tools for the best in foot tickling that I had to offer. It was held at a BDSM club near LAX and there were many pretty girls who were willing to play submissive roles and were employed there. I remember this one gal in particular who was strapped down and being upper body tickled while I had control of her big, beautiful feet. Every once in a while I would tickle her with a special tickle toy and in the midst of her laughter she would raise her head and say "HA-hahhahaha! OH MY...God...what's that??? hahahaha!" It seemed like even though she was being tickled from almost every possible angle whenever I tickled her feet she would react to it almost immediately and comment about it. She reacted really well to a feather being threaded between her ticklish toes...such lovely laughter! That was so much fun!

Will I ever attend another L.A. tickle gathering? Probably not. But at least one time I had a fantastic experience. I didn't want to leave that first time, but as a musician I had a gig that night...

That's my story and I'm sticking to it! tickle tickle!

 

[LionKing08]

Most people cant get over the fear of meeting new people.It is so easy to talk on this board where you dont have to show your real self then go to a real tickling party. It is realy sad how so many stright people have to live with so much fear. I here from some gay people that i know even though iam straight that they go to partys and some of them are realy big and they dont have fear like straight people do. I think they gave up a long time ago on what others think. It is to bad there are not bigger and better partys going on.

 

[JS805]

1. Too many guys and not enough girls (I'm sure)
2. I'm a pussy

 

[Knox The Hatter]

The second was meh because it was filled with people who thought they were some kind of celebrity in the world of tickling and acted like it, as if the community owed them something.

I know. It's a total fucking drag, isn't it? Who needs it?

 

[Mike3355]

budget?

 

[sabyra]

I guess that gatherings can be very intimidating for some people. There are also those who see tickling as a foreplay and can't differ it from sex, and just want to share that with their partners, but do enjoy to participate in the forum.

In my situation it could be bad timing that might be a hazard.. I do hope I can make it to one this year, but school comes first. I know that i would be shy at first, but I've heard only good things about previous gatherings and that surely helps.

 

[rockshock28]

I won't ever go because even though I am becoming more open with my fetish, I like to keep myself more private, and I would much rather not meet anyone personally.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Meeting people has given me some of my best friends
in the world. I even gained a sister. I wouldn't trade
any of it for anything in the world. It's about so much
more than tickling or feet or fetishes. It's about humans
connecting on a much deeper level, and forming lifelong
friendships in a way you can't anywhere else.

 

[tklee88]

Meeting people has given me some of my best friends
in the world. I even gained a sister. I wouldn't trade
any of it for anything in the world. It's about so much
more than tickling or feet or fetishes. It's about humans
connecting on a much deeper level, and forming lifelong
friendships in a way you can't anywhere else.

This. The biggest thing is you have to be WILLING to let people let you in. 1. Be yourself when you attend a gathering. If you try too hard, it's obvious. We want to meet YOU. 2. Everyone is very welcoming regardless. When you enter the lobby of a gathering it is nothing but hugs and jumping up and down and squealing...err.. I mean...well, that's what I do when I enter the lobby . For most of us, this is our biggest secret. These people KNOW your biggest secret, so most of these friendships go deeper than any friendship you've ever known. 3. Go with no expectations. This is really important. A lot of people attend gatherings just wanting to play the entire time. It's not really like that. If you go with these intentions, you will most likely leave disappointed. Go to meet people. If you have no interest in meeting others who share this fetish with you, it is VERY evident when you meet a person at gathering. Speaking from experience, the most fun I had a gathering was the one with the least amount of play. If you want play THAT bad, there are always ways to get it. I'm not saying there is no play at gatherings, but if you go with the expectation to tickle some girl tied up for 70 of the 72 hours you spend there, you will leave disappointed.

Basically this is just a ramble, but go to meet the great folks that you see post on here everyday, and the lurkers who you would never GET the chance to talk to on here otherwise.

 

[fightinggirl666]

I see what you're saying here, and here are a few responses to this:
- There are people who have spouses and families that go to gatherings with their partner's blessing
- There is no pressure to play at gatherings. If someone is inappropriate they are dealt with.
- I've yet to see "mostly older/awkward guys" at these things.
- I've seen a lot of self-described shy people open up at gatherings.

Sure, it's nerve-wracking to enter a group that seems to all know each other. But it's not middle school and people are really friendly. And we all had to start at the same place, not knowing anyone in the community.

I had many of your fears before my first gathering, but now I can't imagine my life without going. We're all "normal" people and the events feel very warm and welcoming.

I appriciate the time to respond love

It's ok to bring ya partner along if they wont to willingly, but to bring kids... totally inapproriate I'd think... I'd not bring my boyfriend to this sort of thing as we only like to "play" with each other, neither of us into the whole "lets get tickled by strangers" sorta thing. If my bf "played" with another girl I'd be most upset, as he would be if I played with another guy. The people that go to gatherings without a partners knowledge to play are the worst if you ask me. I know some couples go along both knowing the others are going to play with others, but to me thats wrong and something I'd not be comfortable with.

I'm sure there'd be no pressure to play if ya didn't want too, but I supose you can't help but feel pressure to do so... after all why else do you go along to a "tickle gathering"? Maybe a few go along to make some friends, but I have a large circle of close friends already so I'd not go along for that reason (through there are no or two people here I'd defently like to be friends with in real life). If I was single maybe... but having a bf I don't wont to play with other guys now so I don't see the point going to "just chat and not play" at a tickling gathering.

There would defently be some akward/shy ones there (creepy vibes even if they aren't actually creepy), these things tend to attract them (one guy described one girl there and a bunch of guys around her like wolfs to the lamb... not a nice image to me). There would defently be some cool people there too, but possibly not enough that would interest me as far as "play" goes (Play would seem to be the point of a tickle gathering).

I can defently see how these things would be good for shy people or ones with not to many friends, good to talk and meet people etc.

Of course too there'd be some wonderful events (esp organised by a few of the more well known people here) with some wonderful people too but I've got to many doubt in my mind that it'd end up being odd or just not my thing, and having a partner means I'd not really want to play right now so... *shrugs* you get the idea. Guess it's just not for me at the minute.

 

[Morpheus72]

So many points ring true with me...

So many points have been mentioned that hit the mark with me. The main reason why I'm not motivated to attend a gathering is that tickling is strongly connected to intimacy for me. Since I am also happily committed in a relationship, I would consider any play participation beyond the occasional fun poke as a level of "emotional cheating", since I would most assuredly become aroused at some level by participating. The debate about whether it is cheating or not has been beaten to death; feeling the guilt would be enough to dissuade me.

If we set aside play for a moment, I haven't found many posting members that have common interests with me, at least with respect to what they post about. No disrespect intended of course, but I'll be more likely to attend once I connect with a few members on a common-interest level.

Another significant thing that has been mentioned is that this forum involves many, many solid friendships, and I'd be coming in as a male outsider. This is something I'd certainly be uncomfortable with, especially considering the lack of common vanilla interests mentioned above.

There are other minor things as well, but they aren't as significant. As I think about this, it seems I'd be much more comfortable at a local munch.

Morph

 

[Cy/MiG]

My reason is simple. To quote Morgan Freeman as Detective Sommerset in 'Se7en':

'Most people who spend enough time with me find me disagreeable'

Very simple.

 

[tkltkltkl]

I know. It's a total fucking drag, isn't it? Who needs it?

Definitely more "cliqueish" than "ticklish". The first gathering I attended was 360 degrees different than the second one. It was a much more open, positive and fulfilling experience. With the second gathering I tried to talk to people and make friends...I am definitely not a shy person. I went to their munch, too. But they kept discussing people and places and experiences that I couldn't relate to. Making references to publications I wasn't familiar with. There was one woman in particular who was VERY egotistical and acted like we were all subservient in her presence. She certainly "dominated" the whole conversation. Doing the whole "Remember when so and so did this...?" "Oh yes wasn't that something!" I tried to join in the conversation but wasn't let in...I really felt like an outsider because I wasn't "hip" to their "jive"...reminded me too much of high school. So I bailed out.

But please understand that was THAT particular scenario. I am in no way saying that ALL gatherings are like that. I'm just revealing MY response to the question/topic at hand...

 

[Flatfoot]

I didn't take time to read all of the responses. So, pardon me if this has already been mentioned. Though I DO go to gatherings and have a great time at them, I find larger (20+ is large to me) groups of people to be very draining...esp. if they're loud. Last year's NEST was a perfect setup for me because I could escape to the quiet of my room every so often to decompress. For wahtever reason, loud noise makes me very tense and wears me out very quickly. (Even here at home, if Drew wants to play a concert or something loudly, I have to put in ear plugs in order to be able to handle it.) So, while I love gatherings, I really need to rest up a lot in advance and sneak in as many quiet moments during as possible. If I don't have the opportunity to do so, I tend to get very quiet and shut down.

I'm sure I'm not entirely alone in this.

All other hurdles of family and work aside, loud social settings make me uncomfortable, as well. My hearing sucks enough now that the VA pays me disability for it. I'm already not much of a social butterfly. I CAN open up, but if I can't hear you, I'm just going to clam up in frustration after asking people to repeat themselves numerous times. If I'm sitting in a group of multiple people talking, it just turns into droning that I might catch a word every now and again.

 

[Lea28]

It is difficult...

I would love to meet tickle friends for real, but tickling IS very personal to me. I dont know what to expect at a gathering, but if it involves others watching me being tickled, or being tickled by a person i am not into, then I would NOT have fun, to say the least.

Still, I always wonder if I would meet that one special person? Someone that enjoys tickling, feet, etc as much as I do... and sex of course, but that I assume does not occur at gatherings either.

Always tempted, never convinced... Lea

 

[maniactickler]

I would love to meet tickle friends for real, but tickling IS very personal to me. I dont know what to expect at a gathering, but if it involves others watching me being tickled, or being tickled by a person i am not into, then I would NOT have fun, to say the least.

Still, I always wonder if I would meet that one special person? Someone that enjoys tickling, feet, etc as much as I do... and sex of course, but that I assume does not occur at gatherings either.

Always tempted, never convinced... Lea

Lea, great news, im having a one on one gathering in Feb. your invited!

 

[Lea28]

Maniac... U really are such.......

...a tickle maniac!

OK, tell me where? What should I wear? Can i tickle u back? This could be serious bud!

LoL...Lea

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Definitely more "cliqueish" than "ticklish". The first gathering I attended was 360 degrees different than the second one. It was a much more open, positive and fulfilling experience. With the second gathering I tried to talk to people and make friends...I am definitely not a shy person. I went to their munch, too. But they kept discussing people and places and experiences that I couldn't relate to. Making references to publications I wasn't familiar with. There was one woman in particular who was VERY egotistical and acted like we were all subservient in her presence. She certainly "dominated" the whole conversation. Doing the whole "Remember when so and so did this...?" "Oh yes wasn't that something!" I tried to join in the conversation but wasn't let in...I really felt like an outsider because I wasn't "hip" to their "jive"...reminded me too much of high school. So I bailed out.

But please understand that was THAT particular scenario. I am in no way saying that ALL gatherings are like that. I'm just revealing MY response to the question/topic at hand...

Oh, I do understand. I'm just emphasizing that this has been my general impression over the number of gatherings we've attended. In fact, your top paragraph there above this gave me tinglings of deja vu.

I greatly prefer much more intimate get-togethers, of, say, a group of couples. It's so much better.

 

[maniactickler]

...a tickle maniac!

OK, tell me where? What should I wear? Can i tickle u back? This could be serious bud!

LoL...Lea

Lea! i hate when you tease me!

 

[Coda]

I didn't even know about gatherings when I joined the forum. I had enjoyed tickling and other erotic stories so much in the past, and I wanted to post some of my own in the hope of helping to bring the same kind of pleasure to others.

 

[Mr. Anderson]

Like others have said, tickling is very sexual for me.
And it would show. Literally.
I would be sportin' major wood.
When it gets to that point, the launch sequence has already started, and there is no turning back until lift-off.

And then I'd feel about as welcome as a guy wearing sweatpants at prom.