Why do some people choose not to go to gatherings???

[Knox The Hatter]

I live in the kind of town where some kids don't mind wearing sweatpants to the prom.

 

[Tidas]

For me personally it's not that I don't want to go, it's that I have many conflicting issues surrounding the situation. I don't make enough money to afford it for starters, so that is kind of a detrimental factor. I still live with my folks for now (only a few more months to go!!!) and telling them i'm going on vacation to a tickling convention would be a no-go. Also, my girlfriend is cool with my fetish[es], but she doesn't share them and I doubt she would have a good time, because going without her is not an option either. Going to a gathering is a huge dream for me, but I just can't make it happen right now. I would love to meet y'all though!!!

 

[maniactickler]

I would love to meet tickle friends for real, but tickling IS very personal to me. I dont know what to expect at a gathering, but if it involves others watching me being tickled, or being tickled by a person i am not into, then I would NOT have fun, to say the least.

Still, I always wonder if I would meet that one special person? Someone that enjoys tickling, feet, etc as much as I do... and sex of course, but that I assume does not occur at gatherings either.

Always tempted, never convinced... Lea

I just might be that special person.

 

[Mitchell]

I haven't gone to a gathering for two reasons. One, even though I've kept a much lower profile on the forum than I used to, over the last four years , I don't relish the idea of walking into, say.. NEST, and having people go: "OMG, here's ladderboy".

Second, and this is just personal opinion. While I completely respect the rights of those who attend gatherings, I'm one who believes that I would feel more comfortable tickling someone I knew well in a one on one situation, in the privacy of my own home, or hers. I dont know that I'd feel comfortable tickling a girl, or being tickled myself, with many others around.

While my decision could change, I dont see myself attending a gathering.

Mitch

 

[DJ Tickler]

For me the initial thing is distance but I suspect if I REALLY wanted to go I could....no the real thing that stops me is the social aspect.

I am not a shy person. In fact I will be the first to go up and introduce myself at an event. But dont usually "Do" parties. I am so use to being a catalyst for a good time (I mean DJs can make or break a party) but actually invite me to the party and I don't know where to stand.

Also I know everyone is very friendly and looks after "newbies" but the worse thing you can do is try to look after me. I am so independent and proud that I always feel like I am being patronized or pitied. I know the people arent but that is how it always feels to me.

When being taken out of a position of importance/control I feel incredibly awkward and don't really know how to handle it so in turn, I don't go places unless through work.

This is just my feelings as to why I don't go.

Tell you guys what...hire me to come and I will see you all there and make you dance and giggle the night away

DJ Tickler

 

[P[a]pi]

I would only wanna go to a gathering if my wife and I setup playing with a female there in advance. Most likely this will never happen, so most likely we'll never go.

We do wanna go to Fetish Con sometime though.

 

[fygar]

Okay. I'll bite. I've had a rough past on fetish forums and loss of temperament and really went off on people and said foolish things. I've hurt peoples feelings and lashed out at innocent members due to misinterpretation of their posts.

I've tried to deal with my temper and paranoia and keep them in check but, sooner or later, I lose it and I'm screwed so, now I hang back in the shadows and lurk.

It's very difficult to hold my tongue when reading some threads because I really miss the participation and the comfort of knowing that I'm amongst like minded people in the fetish sense but, I just don't want to risk getting involved again with something that I may not be able to handle.

Because of these past mistakes and the way I feel about them, I wouldn't dare show up at a gathering for fear of someone somehow knowing who I was before I could even open my mouth and I'd have to lie about stuff and make up a false name and furthermore there are a lot of very intelligent and wise old owl's around to keep anyone with a questionable past from getting in and actually that's a good thing as it helps to protect others from potentially scary people.

I no longer feel that I am that kind of a person but, I'm still not going to any of the gatherings as I can just imagine being turned away at the entrance or being approached by someone in charge, flanked by a couple of muscle-bound giants who slam me into a corner and tell me I'd better "behave" my self if I know what's good for me.

So, no. Not me. I have my imagination, my computer, my pens/paper, decent online access and that's enough to keep me somewhat content.

Besides, there's more to life than fetishes and when I'm in the mood for that, I pop in and have a look around, maybe download some stuff to read or look at later on but, that's the extent of it for me.

I like my privacy and I want to keep it that way.

 

[CuteJill143]

because life happens. Things come up Unfortunately. Its not everyone's main priority as awesome as gatherings are. Some people work full time. Some people attend college full time and some people have families to care for.

 

[Master Baiter]

I find it interesting that the people who have been to gatherings try to convert the ones who haven't, no matter what the reason.
It's almost like they're "born again" after they've attended and can't grasp why anyone wouldn't want to be part of the magic, and they're missing out on a chance to make their life complete.
Personally, I can't justify spending that kind of money to travel half way across the country to attend a sex party. I have a wife and kids, so a family vacation where I can get in some fishing, a trip to Grandma's, a college fund contribution, or something we can all use and enjoy seems like the better, selfless choice.
Money isn't the only consideration. People make an event, and sharing a sexually fueled activity with a room full of strangers/acquaintances/friends just doesn't sound all that appealing; in fact, it sounds awkward.
All the gushing and hype and tear-jerking testimonials seem forced and a little phony to me. According to those, everyone becomes best friends forever, it's a major life-changing event, and we all shit gumdrops and rainbows in an enchanted forest and live happily ever after.
Reality tells me otherwise. Anytime you bring that many people together under those circumstances, there will be major drama, exclusion, and some hard feelings - which you never hear about because we are a happy, joyous community with sunshine and flowers and little frogs with funny little hats that sing magical songs and play funny little banjos and ride unicorns into the sunset.

 

[Phineas]

One thing I'd like to mention to some folks here is that there are other gatherings than NEST, and that attending one usually doesn't involve some massive pilgrimage and a huge chunk of your time if you stay local.

The only time I was ever to NEST was when I lived in NJ. Out here in California, I used to attend local Bay Area gatherings, which involved no more effort than a 20-minute drive to Bagelfather's/Lindyhopper's place for the afternoon.

Unless, of course, the focus of this thread is the "big event"-style gatherings like NEST and not the smaller local affairs.

Also, LOL at Master Baiter's observations. Hilarious but true.

 

[JJB]

I don't relish the idea of walking into, say.. NEST, and having people go: "OMG, here's ladderboy".

I'm curious why you have a huge icon in your signature then. Is it just the idea of somebody saying that in person?

I find it interesting that the people who have been to gatherings try to convert the ones who haven't, no matter what the reason.
It's almost like they're "born again" after they've attended and can't grasp why anyone wouldn't want to be part of the magic, and they're missing out on a chance to make their life complete.
Personally, I can't justify spending that kind of money to travel half way across the country to attend a sex party. I have a wife and kids, so a family vacation where I can get in some fishing, a trip to Grandma's, a college fund contribution, or something we can all use and enjoy seems like the better, selfless choice.
Money isn't the only consideration. People make an event, and sharing a sexually fueled activity with a room full of strangers/acquaintances/friends just doesn't sound all that appealing; in fact, it sounds awkward.
All the gushing and hype and tear-jerking testimonials seem forced and a little phony to me. According to those, everyone becomes best friends forever, it's a major life-changing event, and we all shit gumdrops and rainbows in an enchanted forest and live happily ever after.
Reality tells me otherwise. Anytime you bring that many people together under those circumstances, there will be major drama, exclusion, and some hard feelings - which you never hear about because we are a happy, joyous community with sunshine and flowers and little frogs with funny little hats that sing magical songs and play funny little banjos and ride unicorns into the sunset.

Hilarious! I love it.

 

[Angel77]

I would only wanna go to a gathering if my wife and I setup playing with a female there in advance. Most likely this will never happen, so most likely we'll never go.

We do wanna go to Fetish Con sometime though.

I wanna go to Fetish Con too! It looks like it would be a lot of fun.

 

[NonConTickler]

I'm not a social person. I want to show up, tickle a woman, and either have her give me a foot job or I go home and masturbate. Gatherings from what I gather are not for that. They're for socializing and stuff. Not my thing.

 

[WorkInProgress]

For me, it's a matter of, some years I feel like it, some years I don't. I've been to NEST twice, I'll go some time again, but I'm not one of the ones who spend the year counting down to it or who go every year.

I hear it's expanded, though. I hear there was a talent show last year. If I go, and if there's a piano in the room, I can accompany some singers on it. I already do that at the gathering that I do attend every year, which is of nudists.

 

[COOLCAT88]

Couple reasons. No offense to anyone here:

1. It's already been mentioned, but one of the big factors are Location, time and money. First you have the major NEST gathering which is located all the way in Philadelphia. Most people live in the other 49 states, and taking that into consideration, it seems silly to take hours drive/train/plane for a tickle gathering. plus with this economy, people simply don't have the time nor money to make it all the way. I see in the Gatherings sub forums people have took the initative to have Munches and smaller gatherings in their native areas and states so that is a good idea for people to not spend that much money traveling out of state.

2. Then there is the fact that some people aren't very comfortable being tickled in front of a bunch of strangers. To them, tickling is something intimate or fun between them and a spouse or close friend.

3. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but there is a lack of NEST or photos/video/personal recollection. Now there is the whole privacy issue, but how else are you going to get people to go if you don't show or at the very least inform the newcomers just what goes on at NEST than the generic " It's a gathering where Tickling Fans fro all over go and meet!". I have seen several threads where people are asking things like " What happens at NEST?" or " How much tickling goes on?"...There should be a megathread of some sorts where newcomers who are inquiring or even thinking about coming to a gathering can ask questions and veterans can answer the. Heck even if you have to blur the faces out of the photos so people can see what goes on at them. ( of course, you can substitute any other Gathering for this also...)

 

[BellaRisa]

Couple reasons. No offense to anyone here:

1. It's already been mentioned, but one of the big factors are Location, time and money. First you have the major NEST gathering which is located all the way in Philadelphia. Most people live in the other 49 states, and taking that into consideration, it seems silly to take hours drive/train/plane for a tickle gathering. plus with this economy, people simply don't have the time nor money to make it all the way. I see in the Gatherings sub forums people have took the initative to have Munches and smaller gatherings in their native areas and states so that is a good idea for people to not spend that much money traveling out of state.

2. Then there is the fact that some people aren't very comfortable being tickled in front of a bunch of strangers. To them, tickling is something intimate or fun between them and a spouse or close friend.

3. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but there is a lack of NEST or photos/video/personal recollection. Now there is the whole privacy issue, but how else are you going to get people to go if you don't show or at the very least inform the newcomers just what goes on at NEST than the generic " It's a gathering where Tickling Fans fro all over go and meet!". I have seen several threads where people are asking things like " What happens at NEST?" or " How much tickling goes on?"...There should be a megathread of some sorts where newcomers who are inquiring or even thinking about coming to a gathering can ask questions and veterans can answer the. Heck even if you have to blur the faces out of the photos so people can see what goes on at them. ( of course, you can substitute any other Gathering for this also...)

I have to respectfully disagree about the lack of solid info. While there are no pictures to respect the privacy of those who attend, there are many, many posts about what goes on at NEST and other gatherings, and there's a NEST website that answers such questions; that's why more people attend every year. I answer questions via email and PM about NEST and Bella Bash all year long, as do many of the other gathering vets

As for this:

First you have the major NEST gathering which is located all the way in Philadelphia. Most people live in the other 49 states, and taking that into consideration, it seems silly to take hours drive/train/plane for a tickle gathering

, I can totally understand the need to save money in this economy, and I certainly respect those who'd rather not go to gatherings at all; having said that, if one is going to spend $$ on a fun weekend I see NEST and other gatherings as no sillier than any other recreational activity, especially given the friends and memories you make

 

[COOLCAT88]

Are you still on Yahoo Messenger?

 

[Bonnie]

My reasons are because 1.) i have a partner who would not be okay with the risk of me tickling or being tickled by others, 2.) im a student so im broke as hell =P

 

[Libertine]

I haven't gone to a gathering for two reasons. One, even though I've kept a much lower profile on the forum than I used to, over the last four years , I don't relish the idea of walking into, say.. NEST, and having people go: "OMG, here's ladderboy".

Well, we're all eccentrics on this bus, and to meet such a celebrated eccentric as the famous Ladderboy would be fun for your fans. Your reputation would pave the road for every introduction.

Second, and this is just personal opinion. While I completely respect the rights of those who attend gatherings, I'm one who believes that I would feel more comfortable tickling someone I knew well in a one on one situation, in the privacy of my own home, or hers. I dont know that I'd feel comfortable tickling a girl, or being tickled myself, with many others around. Mitch

No need to worry about public play. Since NEST happens in a hotel, just chat/socialise in the public areas or the restaurant, meet someone similarly inclined, then take her to your room, or go to hers and have fun (or just chat privately) there. Have her ask a female TMF monitor along for a while if it makes her feel more secure. Playing at NEST is a safe option because it's not as if anyone's going home with a stranger.

It's almost like they're "born again" after they've attended and can't grasp why anyone wouldn't want to be part of the magic, and they're missing out on a chance to make their life complete.
Personally, I can't justify spending that kind of money to travel half way across the country to attend a sex party. I have a wife and kids, so a family vacation where I can get in some fishing, a trip to Grandma's, a college fund contribution, or something we can all use and enjoy seems like the better, selfless choice.
Money isn't the only consideration. People make an event, and sharing a sexually fueled activity with a room full of strangers/acquaintances/friends just doesn't sound all that appealing; in fact, it sounds awkward.
All the gushing and hype and tear-jerking testimonials seem forced and a little phony to me. According to those, everyone becomes best friends forever, it's a major life-changing event, and we all shit gumdrops and rainbows in an enchanted forest and live happily ever after.
Reality tells me otherwise. Anytime you bring that many people together under those circumstances, there will be major drama, exclusion, and some hard feelings - which you never hear about because we are a happy, joyous community with sunshine and flowers and little frogs with funny little hats that sing magical songs and play funny little banjos and ride unicorns into the sunset.

Excellent points and well written too! All I can say is that NEST can be compared to an adolescent's view of smoking dope or having sex before he or she has managed to do either IRL. The thought is always different from the reality. And while that reality may never fully live up to the expectation/anticipation, all three are still a hell of a lot of fun if you're sensible about sampling them.

 

[KittenToes]

I haven't gone to a gathering for two reasons. One, even though I've kept a much lower profile on the forum than I used to, over the last four years , I don't relish the idea of walking into, say.. NEST, and having people go: "OMG, here's ladderboy".

Second, and this is just personal opinion. While I completely respect the rights of those who attend gatherings, I'm one who believes that I would feel more comfortable tickling someone I knew well in a one on one situation, in the privacy of my own home, or hers. I dont know that I'd feel comfortable tickling a girl, or being tickled myself, with many others around.

While my decision could change, I dont see myself attending a gathering.

Mitch

My darling hubby Libertine's right- at least you'd be known for SOMETHING. And if you come to NEST, I'll make sure to find a ladder and climb it. And get some barefooted ladies to follow me, just for you!

 

[TangerineTicklee]

I'm just too shy at times.

...I'd give the virtual attendance thing a shot. I think it's a great idea.