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Workplace Tickle Gone Wrong, consequences

P

phil605_ca

TMF Poster
Joined
Oct 10, 2002
Messages
128
Points
18
So if you're like me there are lots of thoughts kicking around your head about tickling a coworker, lots of female coworkers, but never have I acted on any of these fantasies.

Si I was googling last night and found this on manager's.org,

https://www.askamanager.org/2017/05/my-coworker-tickled-another-coworker-and-now-there-is-chaos.html

As I started to read it gave me some insight into the vanilla world view on tickles and just how bad something simple could go wrong. So now I think I'll keep my thought away from my reality...
 
That's a great post and a spot-on cautionary tale.
 
Yes, keep it out of the workplace.
This is one if many comments:
I think that physical attacks at work should be a zero-tolerance issue for adults in the normal world. This is a physical attack. It didn’t draw blood, but there is absolutely no question that Monica physically incapacitated a co-worker with zero provocation, for her own entertainment. This is far beyond normal. I don’t know why she wasn’t fired, I don’t understand why you think this physical attack is not sufficient for firing (how many people does she need to do this to in order to merit firing? Two? Why that number?).
Click to expand...
This illustrates how some vanillas view tickling in the workplace: as a physical attack.
 
I've read this story before, and while I believe Rachel(the woman tickled) was overreacting, at the same time we need to realize that a lot of people hate being tickled and could even be traumatized by it.

A similar problem happened to me once at work. There was this fun flirty female co-worker, (let's call her Maria) and we'd tease each other occasionally. One day before a company meeting, people were talking and waiting for the meeting to start. I was joking around with Maria, poked her in the ribs, and found out she was extremely ticklish. Maria didn't seem to mind, but the HR manager saw it, and mentioned the tickling to my boss. I didn't get in any serious trouble or anything and even apologized to Maria(again she didn't have a problem with it) and all was forgotten.

However I did learn a lesson. Never tickle someone in the workplace. Even the ticklee doesn't mind, someone else might.
 
That workplace story sounds like it was written by someone who could be a member here. Seems a little too fetish-y. There aren’t too many women that would crawl under a co-worker’s desk, pin her ankles, and tickle her feet. And all the characters are female, and named after the girls from “Friends”?

On the subject of workplace tickling, everyone here is spot-on.
 
A long, long time ago, in a distant land called the 90's, when I was a teenager in a non-professional job I tickled a female co-worker once in the vanilla work world and was lucky I didn't get slapped for it. Of course, I was too young then to know anything about anything because it was inappropriate, even if innocent and brief. These days I'm a working career office professional and would never dream of crossing the line and physically touching another coworker, especially as a male in today's charged atmosphere. To my younger up-and-comers, still more driven by hormones sometimes than wisdom, I'd say just don't. If you see if occur between two females, register it as an experience you saw but certainly DO NOT get involved in any way. Don't participate, don't comment, stay in the shadows. There's too much to lose and it really is an inappropriate line to cross in the professional world. That's all I can say about that.
 
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Toesheldback said:
That workplace story sounds like it was written by someone who could be a member here. Seems a little too fetish-y. There aren’t too many women that would crawl under a co-worker’s desk, pin her ankles, and tickle her feet. And all the characters are female, and named after the girls from “Friends”?

On the subject of workplace tickling, everyone here is spot-on.
Click to expand...

If her feet were sticking out, she wouldn't have to crawl under the desk, she'd simply have to kneel down. And if this was written by a TMFer then the ticklee probably would've loved it, and it would've led to more tickling
 
magic fingers said:
And if this was written by a TMFer then the ticklee probably would've loved it, and it would've led to more tickling
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Not necessarily. People fucking LOVE non-con on this website, especially when the lee really hates it.
 
Jezebel Lee said:
Not necessarily. People fucking LOVE non-con on this website, especially when the lee really hates it.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I’ve been on this site for awhile, and longer before that. I can kinda sniff out a guy who is trying to engage with “normies” to get their reaction.
 
Tickling should be restricted to non work situations only, and even then. It should be in a social situation, and not with strangers, where the lee and ler at least know each as more than just "I just met you this day" acquaintances, unless its something like a gathering, and under controlled circumstances
 
Mitchell said:
Tickling should be restricted to non work situations only, and even then. It should be in a social situation, and not with strangers, where the lee and ler at least know each as more than just "I just met you this day" acquaintances, unless its something like a gathering, and under controlled circumstances
Click to expand...


I agree 100%. I will say growing up, a couple of the jobs I did have, several of my co-workers did flirt a lot, there were a lot of sexual innuendos, jokes, conversations, etc., and on a few occassions, tickling did occur. I, myself, remember tickling one or two of my co-workers, though it was never EVER with a stranger or co-worker I barely knew. You have to be able to read the room and the dynamic between the other person. If you two are friends or close enough to be able to joke around with each other and no one gets offended, then it may be alright, but with anyone less than a good friend, I would steer clear.


Although now that I am older and workplace sexual harassment has been at the forefront for many years now, I definitely would not try tickling a co-worker at work, nor would I recommend it. The other thing to consider is, even if the two of you (tickler and ticklee) are not bothered or upset by the tickling, there is the possibility that a boss or another co-worker will see the tickling take place and it could escalate from there. You and your co-worker may be okay with tickling each other but other co-workers may not be okay with seeing that. best to just avoid it altogether.
 
I have engaged in workplace tickles over the years, but always with people I knew well and got on with. Except one, which I’ll get to in a minute. They never overstepped the line apart from the one incident, but I knew then, as now, the need to be careful and respectful. However, even if the person on the receiving end is okay with it, it doesn’t mean that it’s right or that others won’t be offended instead. Ultimately, just leave the kink at home and everything will be okay.

The one time I went too far was letting my kink get the better of me some twenty plus years ago. I was 100% in the wrong, and totally misjudged the familiarity level between myself and the woman I was tickling. Nothing thankfully came of it, but I think that this was more through luck than anything else. I don’t look back on that with any pride, but hopefully it acts as a cautionary tale.

Cheers, everybody,
SmashTV
 
I find it strange that the focus is now questioning the validity of what we know to be questionable behavior.

It's inappropriate, nonconsensual, and unprofessional.

Whether it really happened or not or exactly how it happened... whether she kneeled or crawled under the desk or how restrained the person was... None of that is the point.

I think that because it is a fetish of ours, we need to be even more careful and responsible when it comes to consent and where and when we engage with other individuals.
 
Sunriseticklee said:
I think that because it is a fetish of ours, we need to be even more careful and responsible when it comes to consent and where and when we engage with other individuals.
Click to expand...

Indeed, and honestly? Even "reading the room" isn't enough. When I was a college student I thought I was on friendly terms with a coworker and I occasionally tickled her. She never seemed distressed, never told me to stop, we were always goofing around so no big deal, right?

Well, what I found out was that she had been secretly feeding our antics to HR after every "incident". Eventually I got confronted with a big-ol' file of complaints and told to knock it off.

You never know what's going through someone else's head. Don't shit where you eat.
 
SoleMates said:
Indeed, and honestly? Even "reading the room" isn't enough. When I was a college student I thought I was on friendly terms with a coworker and I occasionally tickled her. She never seemed distressed, never told me to stop, we were always goofing around so no big deal, right?

Well, what I found out was that she had been secretly feeding our antics to HR after every "incident". Eventually I got confronted with a big-ol' file of complaints and told to knock it off.

You never know what's going through someone else's head. Don't shit where you eat.
Click to expand...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I agree with you 100%. I think we all seem to be in agreement on this thread that workplace tickling or other types of sexual activity are a no-go and generally a bad idea. I did say something earlier about being able to read the room, but you are right in that people don't always convey or show their true thoughts or emotions, and its not enough. While I have not seen any tickling happen at my current place of employment, I have seen many, MANY instances at my workplace where people will act like your friend and when your back is turned, stab you in the back. I currently work in a hospital and many of my co-workers are constantly taking notes and reporting on each other to the supervisors for damn near everything. That, and a lot of the other employees such as the nurses, technicians, doctors, etc. are also watching everyone and constantly sending e-mails to their bosses, our bosses, HR, etc.

Honestly, everyone is friendly, but it is an extremely untrustworthy environment. You have no idea who's watching or who is sending e-mails about who. A lot of my co-workers get friendly with the other staff members outside of our own co-workers, but I just keep my head down and go about my business. I don't have as many friends among my peers, but I am also not disliked. Regardless, I am only there for a paycheck, not friendship. TL;DR: point is, work and tickling = BAD! NO NO!
 
BlueLine is 100% correct. People at work aren't your friends. Work should be treated as work.
 
I agree! I would be incredibly uncomfortable if someone tried to tickle me at work... especially since its a personal space kind of thing and it turns me on. For me, it would feel the same as if someone were to force hug me, or grope me. Too close... Plus its a professional environment, I am there to do my job and get paid. For tickling there is definitely a time and place, and work is just not one of them.

While I do have many fantasies of "Surprise" unexpected tickling the second I get home from work or by my car... I'm not sure how I would react if a complete and utter stranger were to try to tickle me haha
 
Mitchell said:
Tickling should be restricted to non work situations only, and even then. It should be in a social situation, and not with strangers, where the lee and ler at least know each as more than just "I just met you this day" acquaintances, unless its something like a gathering, and under controlled circumstances
Click to expand...

When I was a young guy in my 20's, which seems like eons ago, I tickled many women in the workplace, this was before the whole sexual harrassmemt initiative. Yes they were mostly harmless rib tickles and not one woman complained, but it was stupud on my part and luckily I suffered no consequences. I cannot reiterate more firmly do not bring tickling into the workplace you will be sorry.
 
When I was in my 20's and early 30's I was on the receiving end of multiple workplace ticklings from multiple women I worked with and was friendly with; most of them were repeat offenders, and a few of the ticklings were fairly prolonged. From today's more enlightened perspective it's counterintuitive and borderline mystifying that these women chose to engage in this behavior in an office setting, but I confess I'm glad they did. It 's not surprising, though, that it's been eons since the last time anyone tickled me in the workplace, given our evolving awareness of the potential effects of inappropriate behavior.
 
Wade said:
When I was in my 20's and early 30's I was on the receiving end of multiple workplace ticklings from multiple women I worked with and was friendly with; most of them were repeat offenders, and a few of the ticklings were fairly prolonged. From today's more enlightened perspective it's counterintuitive and borderline mystifying that these women chose to engage in this behavior in an office setting, but I confess I'm glad they did. It 's not surprising, though, that it's been eons since the last time anyone tickled me in the workplace, given our evolving awareness of the potential effects of inappropriate behavior.
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While there would be no way to collect statistics on this, I'd bet my life savings that a female tickling a male at work would vastly less likely to be reported than the other way around, as well as far less likely to produce consequences if reported. Not that I'm advocating females do this to guys at work, but I do believe there's an immensely asymmetric reality here that's worth acknowledging... because it's reality.

Decades ago, and pre-#MeToo, I can think of two female co-workers I ever tickled at work. One, I was extremely close friends with -- she didn't care, and there were zero consequences. But the other, and this one is the cautionary tale, she never acted to me like she had any problem with it whatsoever, and nor did she ever bring it up to management... but years later I learned she had privately trashed me to other co-workers about it. That so took me by surprise, because to my face, she giggled, smiled and absolutely acted like "no big deal" in every possible way. In fact, if she'd have even said a single word to me about not liking it, or even hinted at not liking it, I'd have never done it again without another thought.

Incidentally, we're still Facebook friends, and have corresponded a bit over the years... but never discussed it. My advice today, if you want to tickle a female at work that much, it's not so complicated: Just ask her out on a date first. (And no, I'm not saying then maul her on the date, but it'll at least put your "relationship" in a completely different category.)
 
brotherted said:
While there would be no way to collect statistics on this, I'd bet my life savings that a female tickling a male at work would vastly less likely to be reported than the other way around, as well as far less likely to produce consequences if reported.
Click to expand...

Oh, yeah, 100%. Even at the time I was cognizant that women tickling a male coworker was likely to read as less potentially creepy or problematic or hostile than a man tickling a female coworker -- the latter being something I almost never witnessed in any of my office settings.
 
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