This came up recently on another website that I'm a member of and I was just wondering how many people there are out there who believe this to be true. I always thought that it was just something that bullies and jerks said to quiet, kind guys because they believe that being nice is a weakness or makes a man a doormat.
So *is* kindness, being sympathetic, sensitive, softhearted, nice and polite a recipe for weakness in a man?
Is it something to be ashamed of? Should nice guys be ostracized and exiled to a distant island so, that no one has to put up with them any longer?
"Nice Guys Finish Last" started out as a sports saying. Then it was co-opted into a business saying. And most recently, it's something people say online in those "pickup artist" groups and in the Men's Rights Movement.
In sports it came out organically in a conversation, but in business and in the pickup/MRA community it was co-opted for a specific reason - to excuse the fact that someone wants to do something shitty that a decent person would never do.
Nice guys finish according to how well they perform. There are nice guys in business, and in life, who do spectacularly well. And there are PLENTY of non-nice guys who will do absolutely anything, but are huge losers who never get out of first gear. I would say, based on my experience, most people who don't give a fuck are losers who are angry and don't know why, and they never win at anything. But you don't hear from those people, obviously.
In a sexual context, frankly I don't think nice/not-nice has anything to do with it. If you have charisma, you're going to find partners, and if you don't you're going to struggle. Some guys try to become the friend, or "nice guy," in an attempt to worm their way into a woman's life, but in reality that's not a nice guy, it's just another, more passive form of shitty behavior. In other words, if you're only being nice because you hope it will eventually get you laid, then you're not actually nice.
Some people who discover that they can't get laid on the strength of their personality or appearance (or succeed in business by their work-ethic and intelligence) will do literally anything to accomplish it - and in order to live with themselves, they tell themselves something like "Nice guys finish last."