How do you handle something like this?

Sandrock74 said:

pssssssssh....if I don't know you, I don't answer the door. Crisis (preemptively) averted.

Come to think of it, that may be a reason why I have been accused of being anti-social.

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I hear ya and amen to that! Nope, not going to the door unless I'm expecting someone. You could be bleeding and needing help - if you scream, I'd call 911 though.

But I live back a pavement and while there are houses around, it's a bit secluded. I remember being chased by an angry dog when I was in high school - and no neighbor heard me screaming at 7 AM.

As far as telemarketers go, I just confused the heck out of one who has been rude enough to be calling my cell phone - how they got the number...grumble. They tried calling daily, now they have done to weekly. So I answered this time... and told the woman she had the wrong number. She was really taken aback (considering they have gotten my voice mail for like 10+ times now, I guess so).

And I only see the Catholics going door to door if tithing gets so bad the Pope can't afford his pope-mobile (sorry...bad...I'm going to hell, I know)

Get right up on them and sing The Candyman Can from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Don't stop until they leave. Follow them singing it louder as they leave. 🙂

We don't want any, we've got one! We've got one!

I dunno, they're OK in themselves. Most people are until the big R comes into conversations.

Many won't take know for an answer coz they really believe they're going to save your soul by forcing god on you. Well, that's the impression I get.

I find it of little comfort at the moment.

desdemona said:

And I only see the Catholics going door to door if tithing gets so bad the Pope can't afford his pope-mobile (sorry...bad...I'm going to hell, I know)

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Hey, I'm not going door to door for the pope, he was a nazi! If he needs a new Pope Mobile (TM, copyright) then let him go door to door!

This makes me wonder...what would win in a battle, the Pope Mobile or the Batmobile?

In college, I went through a stretch where I would get approached weekly on the street by some people who wanted me join their bible study. I tried being polite, but they were persistent.

One time, I let them do their whole shpiel and feigned interest. At the end, I said that their meeting sounded great, and asked them if I could bring my wife. (To clarify, I'm female, and was not married.) That stopped them. 😉

Mormons, huh? I've always wanted folks to try and convert me, but no one has ever dared. Perhaps part of it's the fact that I only come out at night when my apartment belches black smoke and sulphur.

Really, it depends on just how creative and offensive you have the gumption to be.

Some of my solutions:

1.)

You: "No, I've heard about you guys... You're like vampires -- as soon as I invite you in, I'm powerless over you."

Them: "No sir, you're mistaken..."

You: "Do you drink the blood of Christ?"

Them: "Well, yes..."

You: "VAMPIRES!!!" *SLAM!*


2.)

You: "Who was it who gave Joseph Smith the golden plates to translate?"

Them: "The Angel Moroni."

You: "You know 'moroni' is the Latin plural of 'moron', right?"

Them: "No, I don't think it--"

You: "Oh yeah, I think it is."


3.)

(In your best gold prospector's voice)

You: "Say now, where are them gold plates the Angel Moroni gave t' Joe Smith?"

Them: (location)

You: "But whar izzat exackly? I needs t' get my hands on some o' that there Mormon gold..." *rub hands together greedily*


4.)

You: "I DON'T CARE HOW OFTEN YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! I'LL NEVER VOTE FOR ROMNEY!!!" *SLAM!*


5.)

You: "You can tell me all about your God, but first, you have to tell me about your magical longjohns."

If they actually agree to your demand to discuss the Temple Garment/magical underwear, at the end, explain that it's your policy to deny entrance to people who believe in magical underwear, and that the policy has served you well in the past.

Alternatively...

If they deflect, be persistent, demanding to know about the Temple Garment that has Masonic symbols on it. Describe it yourself if you must.

If they continue to deflect, reference The Nauvoo Endowment ceremony, and ask:

"So, if I wear the magical underwear, will I get to meet Queen Amidala?"

When they look at each other quizzically, say:

"Oh, I'm sorry -- I was thinking of Naboo... Damn, Natalie Portman's hot..."

Mutter something about the Star Wars prequels as you close the door behind you.

You could always answer the door with a chicken strapped to your head and talk in a real high squeaky voice. Nothing like craziness to scare people away. 😛

😀 😀 😛

All kidding aside, as someone who works from home in a nice 'burb it's like a parade to my damn door: Mormans, Jehovah's Witnesses, lawn mowing dudes, guys in suits who want me to buy discount passes to some new restaurant, big huge spotty teenage football players selling me tickets to their games and magazines so they can buy uniforms...it's ridiculous, and one day they're gonna ring the doorbell and wake up my daycare babies AGAIN and we'll need to involve EMT's to remove my foot from their posteriors

I just don't answer the door usually, and if I do and I don't want to listen I politely but firmly tell them I'm working and shut my door.

Mormons don't drink alchohol, offer them a beer.

(Sighs)
Doesn't anyone remember good ol' fashioned MANNERS anymore?

We were taught in my house that it was extremely rude to just show up unannounced. So, we never did it. If I didn't invite you over, you'd best not show up on my doorstep because I won't answer. People are actually knocking on doors to commit crimes nowadays~they go around knocking, just to see who's home and then force their way in.
Oh, HELL NO!

XOXO