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Ruined relationship(s) because of tickle fetish?

T

TickleMyFancy

TMF Expert
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Jan 13, 2011
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Hi all,

My (ex)boyfriend broke up with me yesterday🙁

He sat me down when I got home from work and told me that he had found my dailymotion account (where I have like 3 tickling videos saved) and he feels uncomfortable with the "intensity" of my tickling fetish and he "doesn't feel like he can satisfy me", even though I tried to explain up and down he's what I want and who I want.

He basically decided that my fetish made me a freak 🙁

Has anyone else gone through something similar? This entire situation sucks, and makes me really hateful towards my fetish. 🙁
 
Don't hate your fetish. It is a part of you. If he couldn't accept that, it is his loss.
 
That's the issue with having a fetish and trying to maintian a vanilla relationship. It has to be with someone who is at least understanding of the fetish enough to either indulge you regularly or allow you the freedom to find someone who will (not exactly poly, but a play partner).

You're right. It is a bad situation and I'm sorry you're hurting. However, now knowing how your ex truly feels about you and your fetish, are you really sure he's what you want?

You're young. You'll find someone who makes you happy in all the ways that matter to you, including your fetish.

SS
 
I have to agree with Snail Shell on this matter. If you are going to ultimately be happy with someone for the rest of your life you need to know early on if they will be able to accept who you are. All of your dreams, goals, virtues, defects, interests, and fetishes need to be accepted in one way or another for a long term relationship to be stable and happy. It is unfortunate that your ex could not accept your love for tickling and that it caused him to decide it would be best to break up with you.

The only good that comes from what he did is that it gives you an opportunity to take he time to realize that you were dating the wrong individual for you. You need someone who can accept your love for tickling and who will be ok with, if not love, you tickling him, seeing as how tickling really makes you happy. He apparently would not have been able to satisfy this very important need of your's and thus you might have become discontent with your relationship over time. It hurts now, and I know the feeling since I've been broken up with in the past over my love of tickling as well, but I am now dating someone who accepts and LOVES it and who loves everything else about me as I do her. You're young, smart, and pretty, and I am sure after your love wounds heal you will find love again and hopefully he will be able to accept everything about you and you'll know that this break up probably was for the best.

You're always welcome to PM me if you want to. In any case I hope you are able to find some happiness with your friends here on the TMF.

Hope you have a better day today and every day after than yesterday,
- Chaneda
 
I know how it feels to be seen as and called a freak because of our like for tickling.

In my last relationship my ex was dead against being tickle, in which I had no problem with. It's just when I told her about how I find tickling fun, she called me a freak and looked at me as if I had said I was into something far worse.

Now that wasn't directly the reason we split up, but from that point on I could tell things were different and theres only so much fighting you can do to try save a relationship.

I'm sorry that you two have split up, from the sounds of things you were really good together. But these things happen and you have to stay positive, try not to let it get you down. I'm sure that you will have the support of all your friends on here and hope you don't feel hateful against your fetish for too long. It's a part of you and would be shame to feel bad about it, even with the current event happening.

Take care.
Andy "TheTeam"
 
TickleMyFancy said:
he feels uncomfortable with the "intensity" of my tickling fetish and he "doesn't feel like he can satisfy me", even though I tried to explain up and down he's what I want and who I want.
Click to expand...

He sounds like he was looking for an out anyway and just used tickling as an excuse. Like a pansy.

To answer the thread though, I do the exact opposite of what most people here will tell you and am fairly upfront of about it. Anyone I date knows the deal, so if it's gonna cause them to bail, they're gonna bail early.
 
I am sorry to read that your relationship has failed.

You are who you are, and that will not change.

If there is someone in your household that has access to your computer then: DELETE YOUR HISTORY.

You have joined a forum with people who enjoy various methods of tickling. Attend a Munch, or come to NEST and eventually you will find a compatible playmate.
 
Ticklemyfancy, you shouldn't get down about a close-minded guy. We are NOT freaks. We just have interests in different things, just like he prob likes something or somethings you could find weird as well. I love my fetish and you should too, because there are plenty of guys and girls in the world, at this age one guy will not be that important, It's better that he did break up with you, because he didn't love you for you. Don't take this out on yourself or your fetish. If you hate your fetish, you hate a part of you, if you hate a part of you, you'll never be happy with yourself. I used to be afraid of even tickling anyone because i didn't want to get judged or deemed a freak, But there are so many fetishes and every single person has something about them that someone will not like. Don't ever give in to those who aren't accepting. We have nothing wrong about us, and our fetish IS a Great thing!! 🙂 I hope this helped 😎
 
something similar happened to me with an ex but i won't bore anyone with the details,important thing is you are who you are,and there are others just like you chin up sweety he was'nt the guy for you
 
Chaneda said:
... If you are going to ultimately be happy with someone for the rest of your life you need to know early on if they will be able to accept who you are. All of your dreams, goals, virtues, defects, interests, and fetishes need to be accepted in one way or another for a long term relationship to be stable and happy. It is unfortunate that your ex could not accept your love for tickling and that it caused him to decide it would be best to break up with you.

The only good that comes from what he did is that it gives you an opportunity to take he time to realize that you were dating the wrong individual for you. You need someone who can accept your love for tickling and who will be ok with, if not love, you tickling him, seeing as how tickling really makes you happy. He apparently would not have been able to satisfy this very important need of your's and thus you might have become discontent with your relationship over time.

- Chaneda
Click to expand...

I agree with Chaneda. It hurts now, but you found out that he would never accept you, all of you, as you really are. Better to find out now than after marriage.

Back in 1980 I was engaged to a woman who insisted, as a condition of our relationship continuing, that I see a psychiatrist to find out why I was interested in feet and tickling so much. (She used other language, implying that it was a mental illness.) After about six months of seeing the psychiatrist, I concluded that I didn't need to change. What I needed was a woman who enjoyed what I enjoyed, which was not her. We broke up and it took me a long time to get over it. But that was a much better outcome than getting married to a woman who thought me a freak for liking some harmless fun that isn't vanilla sex.
 
I am sorry to hear this news from you, but believe me...you will one day look back at this as a pivotal point in your life and you will realize he just did the best thing for YOU. I could go into all the detail but I think you know what I mean. It is gonna hurt for a bit but it will pass and once you find someone that accepts you as you are and is willing to share in your likes, life will be beautiful again ;-) Ever wanna talk, you know the routine...

peace out,
daddy
 
Sorry to hear that. His loss. Hope everything works out!

There are plenty of relationships on this site that work with hardcore tickling involved. People just don't seem to understand that all relationships are hard work.
 
Thanks to everyone for their kind and encouraging words 🙂
I'm trying to look at this as an opportunity and not something bad, but for now it's still painful.

But hopefully soon I'll get over it, and move on to finding a new tickleee 🙂)
 
How can I put this in words? Your boyfriend was a complete JACKASS.
He was extremely lucky to have you, if he has no interests in your fetish and you know he's a close minded ass then you shouldn't be with him. He's just another "normal" guy who likes tits and ass.
Seriously fuck him, find someone that actually shares your fetishes.
 
Really sorry to hear about the break up it is a shame he couldn't be more open minded and let you perhaps explain what it is you like about tickling. Hopefully you will find someone who is more accepting of your interest and you will have your new ticklee.

Keep your chin up 🙂
 
first off, i disagree with all the 'delete the history' and 'hide the evidence' bs.... though my boyfriend and i actually met here, that doesnt matter I would have told him about this even if he wasnt- furthermore he can go on my computer and look at what I do all he wants 🙂 He can log on my screen names if he really wants since i save passwords on them lol... seriously hun, you're young and cute and sound like you've got a great head on your shoulders..... someone else will come around when you're ready for it...

it sucks that he couldnt accept a part of who you are, and you two ended it on what seems like hurtful terms for you. However, maybe take the chance (as stated) to just hang out and make friends, go to munches stuff like that... take some time for you and just know that you are who you are, and eventually someone will appreciate all of you.... the wait sucks (trust me, i know) ... but when you DO find someone that you can be *you* around fully, its the most amazing feeling in the world and the wait becomes well worth it 🙂

good luck!
 
Mehcookie said:
How can I put this in words? Your boyfriend was a complete JACKASS.
He was extremely lucky to have you, if he has no interests in your fetish and you know he's a close minded ass then you shouldn't be with him. He's just another "normal" guy who likes tits and ass.
Seriously fuck him, find someone that actually shares your fetishes.
Click to expand...
Let's try to avoid being completely stupid, shall we?

The gentleman in question broke up with a girl because they were sexually incompatible. Let's have a look at her picture; she's beautiful. She comes across as being sweet, warm, and friendly, and she was totally into him. Given that they were already dating, I'm assuming that--aside from this--they got along well together at one point in time. He manned up; he seems to have done it gently, he was honest about it, it's not like he walked out the door and set on out down the street merrily whistling and juggling the remaining keys from his keyring. He felt uncomfortable. If there's nothing more to the situation than this, he may well decide he made a mistake, and come looking for her again.

I couldn't tell you, personally. I wouldn't break up with a girl who had a tickling fetish. If I happened to stumble upon my girlfriend's account somewhere, however, and find out that she had an intense scat fetish? It might be time to seriously re-evaluate things. I probably wouldn't have the balls to simply end it all right there, would would likely be the best course of action--I'm unlikely to suddenly develop a fetish for something I find to be a bit of an anethema (sp), after all.

For the OP...

I'm very sorry that you had to go through this (for my part, I do wonder about the dude, just a bit). Please don't "hide your tracks." Be honest. Develop relationships at a comfortable pace. If you're with someone who knows about your fetish and simply feels uncomfortable with seeing your saved videos, that's one thing, but don't conceal it to maintain a relationship with someone who doesn't love you for who you are. Try to find someone who is compatible. Your fetish doesn't make you a freak; I won't say, "you should date someone from within the community," as that shouldn't be necessary, but I've done this before myself, and had the time of my life. Whether you find someone on the TMF or find someone elsewhere who's understanding of your fetish, I'm sure they'll consider themselves to be the luckiest guy on Earth; trust me. I'm more of a 'Ler, myself, but there seem to be lots of guys out there who'd appreciate a woman who prefers to top.
 
I'm really sorry that you had to go through something like this - I know from experience, it sucks, and I've definitely had times where I was wondering what was wrong with me (as opposed to thinking that maybe it'll work the next time around, which is what should have been going through my head). The bottom line is, though, that if it weren't specifically your fetish - if it were your sex drive at all, or the fact that you like to cuddle, or some other specific part of how you interact (physically or otherwise) with your significant other - then it would be exactly the same situation. Just because he's citing this one aspect of you doesn't mean that this aspect is wrong; it just means that who you are doesn't fit well with who he is. It'll take time, I know, but you'll bounce back and find a new ticklee (or tickler - hey, a guy can dream, right? 😉)
 
I'm sorry about the break up. Some folks just don't know how to react to a kink. I've read a couple of your posts and you seem like a sweet fun girl. I have no doubt you will find a fun understanding playmate when you are ready. Just let time do its thing and then get back out there and show the world your wonderful self 🙂
 
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