This article is adopted from theladders.com
I get a lot of people who are very awkward in social situations coming
up to me trying to have conversations, and I hear from a lot of others
who bring up to me how some people are so awkward that they simply
don't want them at munches, gatherings, etc.
Being around so many people who are already friends can be intimidating,
but perhaps for those of us who are used to putting our feet into our
mouths, this article may be of some use in changing the way we interact.
Sometimes office conversations become awkward. Do you know how to change course and save the interaction?
January 11, 2010
By Scott Ginsberg
"So, chairman, this must be your lovely new girlfriend … ?"
"Um, actually, she's my granddaughter."
And, you're fired.
Nice going, Captain Awkward.
Ever been in that situation before? Ever fit your foot completely inside your mouth with nowhere to go?
We all have. The difference maker is how you respond to the flub. Let's explore six face-saving antidotes to awkward situations.
1. AVOID saying, "Well, this is awkward."
All that does is increase the level of awkwardness. No need to bring any further attention to your blunder. You've already said enough. Avoid this phrase at all cost — otherwise you risk digging deeper.
Remember: Everything is neutral until painted with the meaning you ascribe to it. As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
Are you making things worse by magnifying the mess?
2. Change the focus.
Whether or not you're the cause of the awkward situation, always have a few go-to topics ready to go. And I'm not talking about the cliché, "So, how about them Dodgers…?" or "Boy, that economy really sucks, huh?" Instead, find an interesting topic of discussion that has nothing to do with the current conversation. I suggest segueing with, "Anyway, on a completely unrelated topic… "
Are you an interesting enough person to change the subject to a different topic at the drop of a hat?
3. Self-deprecation helps.
If you say something stupid, playfully admit your blunder. By honestly recognizing your humanness, people will (usually) forgive your mistake. For example, if you accidentally walk in on a private conversation between two coworkers discussing their intra-office affair — and the record scratches the instant you walk in the door — just say, "Whoops! I appear to have terrible timing."
Are you willing to poke fun at yourself to save the situation?
4. Remove yourself.
If you're not comfortable in a certain situation, just say so. Here's how to remove yourself quietly and professionally: from the simple, "Will you excuse me, please?"; to "I'm not comfortable talking about this"; to the dramatic, "OK, well, it appears the line has been crossed, and I need to excuse myself before my head explodes." Remember: If you don't set boundaries for yourself, other people will set them for you. And then they will violate them.
Are you willing to stand up for your boundaries?
5. Fake a phone call.
Sometimes people just keep talking. And talking. And talking. And there's nothing you can do to stop them. Very, very awkward. So, when all else fails, pretend like you're receiving an incoming call. Act like it's an emergency and explain that you need to take it. People will understand. Just make sure you have a fake conversation on the phone for at least 30 seconds, and have a story ready to go for when they later ask you who called. Sure, it's not the most authentic course of action, but you can only listen to your co-worker talk about her cat's infected ear goiter for so long.
Are you willing to walk away?
6. Follow up if needed.
If the awkwardness was especially thick, perhaps a quick e-mail later that day will patch the scar. "Hey Mary, look, I didn't mean to rush out of the room like that this morning. The mere mention of politics, religion and The Great Pumpkin always puts my stomach in knots. Hope you weren't offended. I'm happy to get together later and recap if there's anything I missed."
How are you remedying your awkwardness?
Remember: Awkwardness is a choice.
Consider these practices for saving your face, even when you fall flat on it.
Let me ask ya this:
What is your antidote for awkwardness?
I get a lot of people who are very awkward in social situations coming
up to me trying to have conversations, and I hear from a lot of others
who bring up to me how some people are so awkward that they simply
don't want them at munches, gatherings, etc.
Being around so many people who are already friends can be intimidating,
but perhaps for those of us who are used to putting our feet into our
mouths, this article may be of some use in changing the way we interact.
Sometimes office conversations become awkward. Do you know how to change course and save the interaction?
January 11, 2010
By Scott Ginsberg
"So, chairman, this must be your lovely new girlfriend … ?"
"Um, actually, she's my granddaughter."
And, you're fired.
Nice going, Captain Awkward.
Ever been in that situation before? Ever fit your foot completely inside your mouth with nowhere to go?
We all have. The difference maker is how you respond to the flub. Let's explore six face-saving antidotes to awkward situations.
1. AVOID saying, "Well, this is awkward."
All that does is increase the level of awkwardness. No need to bring any further attention to your blunder. You've already said enough. Avoid this phrase at all cost — otherwise you risk digging deeper.
Remember: Everything is neutral until painted with the meaning you ascribe to it. As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
Are you making things worse by magnifying the mess?
2. Change the focus.
Whether or not you're the cause of the awkward situation, always have a few go-to topics ready to go. And I'm not talking about the cliché, "So, how about them Dodgers…?" or "Boy, that economy really sucks, huh?" Instead, find an interesting topic of discussion that has nothing to do with the current conversation. I suggest segueing with, "Anyway, on a completely unrelated topic… "
Are you an interesting enough person to change the subject to a different topic at the drop of a hat?
3. Self-deprecation helps.
If you say something stupid, playfully admit your blunder. By honestly recognizing your humanness, people will (usually) forgive your mistake. For example, if you accidentally walk in on a private conversation between two coworkers discussing their intra-office affair — and the record scratches the instant you walk in the door — just say, "Whoops! I appear to have terrible timing."
Are you willing to poke fun at yourself to save the situation?
4. Remove yourself.
If you're not comfortable in a certain situation, just say so. Here's how to remove yourself quietly and professionally: from the simple, "Will you excuse me, please?"; to "I'm not comfortable talking about this"; to the dramatic, "OK, well, it appears the line has been crossed, and I need to excuse myself before my head explodes." Remember: If you don't set boundaries for yourself, other people will set them for you. And then they will violate them.
Are you willing to stand up for your boundaries?
5. Fake a phone call.
Sometimes people just keep talking. And talking. And talking. And there's nothing you can do to stop them. Very, very awkward. So, when all else fails, pretend like you're receiving an incoming call. Act like it's an emergency and explain that you need to take it. People will understand. Just make sure you have a fake conversation on the phone for at least 30 seconds, and have a story ready to go for when they later ask you who called. Sure, it's not the most authentic course of action, but you can only listen to your co-worker talk about her cat's infected ear goiter for so long.
Are you willing to walk away?
6. Follow up if needed.
If the awkwardness was especially thick, perhaps a quick e-mail later that day will patch the scar. "Hey Mary, look, I didn't mean to rush out of the room like that this morning. The mere mention of politics, religion and The Great Pumpkin always puts my stomach in knots. Hope you weren't offended. I'm happy to get together later and recap if there's anything I missed."
How are you remedying your awkwardness?
Remember: Awkwardness is a choice.
Consider these practices for saving your face, even when you fall flat on it.
Let me ask ya this:
What is your antidote for awkwardness?
