Hi,
I am new here, please forgive my nooby-ness. Please help
so, I had a few questions for this community about tickling... please be honest because I want to sort through a few things going on right now in the best way possible! I thought it best to ask people who know more of what they're talking about...
First of all... I'm not terribly into tickling (please, before you dump holy water on me for even joining this forum, hear me out). I'm not against it or anything, but it's definitely not a fetish for me. That being said, my husband is a notorious tickler. He often ties me down to tickle my feet or other such sillyness that I will play along with because it's something he's VERY into. Lately he tells me that he wishes I was more ticklish and will hardly even touch me because of it. And now I feel just awful. He is not happy with our sex life because my body isn't adequately ticklish for him.... this makes me both sad and angry (sad at myself and angry at him for letting his fetish control everything). Is there any secrets or advice to make yourself more ticklish? Is there anything I can do to make this better somehow?
And it's not like I'm anti-ticklish either... I laugh pretty hard and loud when he does tickle me, so I really have no idea what level of ticklishness he is wanting from me... do any of you have any insight about what he could be talking about? (Asking him about this is very difficult, he can barely talk to me about his fetish at all, believe me I've tried)
My next question is.... is there a point where a fetish can become so severe or so important to a person's sex life that it's almost mentally or even physically unhealthy? I realize tickling is important to him, as it is important to all of you here, but wouldn't it be crossing the line to expect your partner to either comply with very specific tickling antics or get nothing at all? Isn't the number 1 priority finding what makes both partners happy?
Anyway, hopefully this kind of topic is appropriate for this forum but I'm at an impasse for what to do. Apparently I am not ticklish enough to even get my husband to want to be with me, but I had no idea how incredibly important this is to him and that my physical limitations could be such a curse. I knew he was into tickling when we got married, but I never knew it would control things this much.
And though I hope nobody would suggest this, please don't say I should leave him or any nonsense like that. We are very happy together and I know he loves me very much. But unlike him I associate love and sex as being linked together, whereas he can be completely turned off from me and still love me of course.
And also, I'm sure that the problem is the tickling... in ever other way I feel we are compatible. honestly what I want to do is try to find a new fetish that me and him can enjoy together. I don't expect him to give up his fetish for me but perhaps tone it down to healthier levels.... and not make me feel terrible for his lack of desire for me. Because it's not my fault, you know!
Any help? Sorry for the rambling. It feels better just to write it all out
I am new here, please forgive my nooby-ness. Please help
so, I had a few questions for this community about tickling... please be honest because I want to sort through a few things going on right now in the best way possible! I thought it best to ask people who know more of what they're talking about...
First of all... I'm not terribly into tickling (please, before you dump holy water on me for even joining this forum, hear me out). I'm not against it or anything, but it's definitely not a fetish for me. That being said, my husband is a notorious tickler. He often ties me down to tickle my feet or other such sillyness that I will play along with because it's something he's VERY into. Lately he tells me that he wishes I was more ticklish and will hardly even touch me because of it. And now I feel just awful. He is not happy with our sex life because my body isn't adequately ticklish for him.... this makes me both sad and angry (sad at myself and angry at him for letting his fetish control everything). Is there any secrets or advice to make yourself more ticklish? Is there anything I can do to make this better somehow?
And it's not like I'm anti-ticklish either... I laugh pretty hard and loud when he does tickle me, so I really have no idea what level of ticklishness he is wanting from me... do any of you have any insight about what he could be talking about? (Asking him about this is very difficult, he can barely talk to me about his fetish at all, believe me I've tried)
My next question is.... is there a point where a fetish can become so severe or so important to a person's sex life that it's almost mentally or even physically unhealthy? I realize tickling is important to him, as it is important to all of you here, but wouldn't it be crossing the line to expect your partner to either comply with very specific tickling antics or get nothing at all? Isn't the number 1 priority finding what makes both partners happy?
Anyway, hopefully this kind of topic is appropriate for this forum but I'm at an impasse for what to do. Apparently I am not ticklish enough to even get my husband to want to be with me, but I had no idea how incredibly important this is to him and that my physical limitations could be such a curse. I knew he was into tickling when we got married, but I never knew it would control things this much.
And though I hope nobody would suggest this, please don't say I should leave him or any nonsense like that. We are very happy together and I know he loves me very much. But unlike him I associate love and sex as being linked together, whereas he can be completely turned off from me and still love me of course.
And also, I'm sure that the problem is the tickling... in ever other way I feel we are compatible. honestly what I want to do is try to find a new fetish that me and him can enjoy together. I don't expect him to give up his fetish for me but perhaps tone it down to healthier levels.... and not make me feel terrible for his lack of desire for me. Because it's not my fault, you know!
Any help? Sorry for the rambling. It feels better just to write it all out