A little less desperate?!

[maryallison]

Thanks for your comments so far...I also got 13 Private messages, all from guys, some of them sweet and with no agenda so I wanted to say thanks for them, too. I don't know if this makes sense, but the "Commander" who posted the original personal ad never PM'd me, and that's a little more appealing somehow. (I didn't PM him, either. I'm still thinking) Thanks again to all

 

[steph]

Glad to hear it maryallison!

And thanks commander.
I've been around here a little less than Knox but I've developed my own system too. And the fact you point out that "everyone's so spread out" is exactly what makes it work so well. It's really very simple, really.
Remember (don't laugh now) "Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon"?
It's the same principle.

I get letters from people all the time who are just so lonely. But I tell them, it doesn't have to be that way. See, I believe no matter where you are, somebody knows someone who lives near you~find them and start to get to know each other.

Those of us "regulars" as you call us, have tons of friends on the board. A lot of people I meet with travel here on business, some make special trips just to see me, or because they always wanted to visit Cali, some have friends or family nearby~I mean, my goodness, look at the number of members here!
So, if I have a great experience with someone and they live near another friend and are interested in playing with them, I make a recommendation and an intro~they take it from there.

Now, I've also intro'd people I've NEVER met in real life either, and that too has worked out beautifully. Decades of work in customer service-type industries has helped me become an excellent judge of character. If I dislike someone right away, I always find out there's a reason why eventually.

The upside is true as well~I'm really blessed to have the BEST pals~really high-quality people. Some of the folks I've hooked up for play are usually friends of other "regulars," or we've been pen pals or IM mates for months and sometimes years. At any rate, they're all people I'd be proud to play with. But, since we're separated by distance or whatever, if I can make them happy by intro-ing them to another awesome friend, why not make 2 of your friends happy at the same time.
Ya see? Everybody wins!

XOXO

The idea of getting references is very interesting...I'm new here as well, having heard about it from a friend, so of course it will take time before I will meet any woman here (if ever, let's be honest). If this NEST happens once a year, that's good, but perhaps not enough. Everyone seems spread across the country, but I am sure the regulars can devise a "system" of references...just a nod in Steph's direction on this.

 

[He-Man]

Oh for gods sake, not another bloody woman on this forum Why can't we have some Extra Terresterals on here for a change. I would love to Tickle a Martian

Well, maybe if you give him enough Oreo cookies, J'jonn Jonnz(aka Martian Manhunter) could send out the Justice League to find some female martians. Hey, then you'd have a female shapshifter and be able to live out any celeb tickle fantasies. lol

 

[AffectionateDan]

Bravo!

Greetings...
I am also a new member to the community. I can sympathize with you.. you posted in the personals... I posted a pic. Both of which seems to have drawn a lot of attention.

At first I was overwhelmed, but as Mimi says, you have to give it time... talk to the guys... you'd be surprised at how many are polite, considerate, intelligent and great fun to talk with. Not all of the men here are crude (although, there are a few) and not all talk about tickling alone.

I submitted my pic, because I like to know who I am talking to. It's good to be able to put a face to the otherside of the conversation. For a few days I kicked myself in the ass... my Yahoo chat list was ready to explode and the one here was getting pretty full too. This is where the weeding comes in.

Now... I am so glad that I had all that attention. I have met so many interesting men on here... some who have never even brought up tickling, imagine that! So many that try as I will, I can't seem to be able to keep up on answering their PM's. About 80% of those... hardly talk about tickling at all, instead, they have opted to get to know me and have given me the opportunity to know them. There are men from all walks of life here... from writers, artists, lawyers, doctors, mechanics, construction workers, shopkeepers...

The beauty of it is, they are like snowflakes. Each one magnificent and each one different from the rest. And to think, I have met but just a few compared to the amount of members there are here.

As for the blunt, one sentence responses... you have to give the guys credit for being honest. At least they are open and are not hiding a thing. You always have to option to choose not to talk to the one's you aren't interested in.

Give them a chance... talk to as many as you can... weed... and you'll be surprised at the numbers of great friends you will have.

Now this is some damned fine counsel! Well said!

Then again, there are those people who are patient (and secure) enough to just be themselves, and if someone finds them interesting enough to want to get to know them better on the merits of their actions in the community, it's all good. Frankly, I can only envision a negative reaction to the ones who pounce any female with a pulse who displays even the slightest interest in this wonderful thing we all share. But that's just one guy's POV.

 

[isabeau]

Take heart. After awhile they forget about you. New women come in and takes away their attention and leave you alone. Then you know who the guys that are really interested in you for you are.

great answer i agree....

and welcome aboard , how remiss of me not to welcome you earlier but the title mislead me.

isabeau

yes after a while you will find out who really just likes you for yourself. just post, be yourself.. but dont make the mistake i made and still make at times. dont be too open about your personal life. i have done that because its how i am and i keep forgetting there are many lurkers in here and not just the people i post with who read what i write. people in here are great. like steph and Mimi who posted on this thread. they are two people i would be proud to meet and call friends off the forum among others of course, like TTD

 

[Johnny Ticklish]

I've found the women I interact with here to be extremely bright and personable. I'm honored when even one considers talking to me. 🙂

 

[isabeau]

I've found the women I interact with here to be extremely bright and personable. I'm honored when even one considers talking to me. 🙂

hah i remember sending you a pm and you never responded...... sniffs lol

isabeau

 

[DonnieBrasco]

Excuse me! Mr. Pianist?

back in the day when I was a little more active... and trying to correct His Shadow Divine all the time)

So, His Shadow devine couldn't get anything right? How terrible for him,but luckly he has you to thank!! Imagine where they would be if you hadn't done your civic duty,WHEW lol

I think from this day forward you shall be called Maestro!!!

Bravo, Maestro!! I will now take my tongue out of my cheek

DB

 

[Bagelfather]

on personal ads

Why so hard on the guys?
I'm not judging you, I'm just curious...All the ones I've met in person from here are just nice guys looking for a fun lee.

Well, in the last day or so I have posted on a couple of personals, ever so mildly - without even saying anything about myself - and a couple of guys pounced about how they are "dom" and want to tickle me, etc. and both guys just left it like that, in one sentence, like I'm going to answer them right away! Another one gave interesting, long descriptions but seems uninterested in girls my age.

I've talked to women who posted and responded to personal ads in the mainstream life. The one I use is craigslist because its free. I've been told by several of the dates I've had how many men write back with one or two line replies and then include a picture of them. Okay I should specify that they reply with a picture of a PART of them.

In the world of personal ads this is known as "cock shots."

You would think that most men would have enough class and sense to not do that. Unfortunately a number of men who browse personal ads have few to no social skills. This is why there is a delete option available. These are the men who lurk, sometimes never post anything of interest, and just download and take expecting the women will come to them.

You will get a lot of replies... I mean a LOT of replies being a single lady posting here (or anywhere) and most of them will be utter crap. But you should have a decent number of nice people writing to you.

I have posted a personal on here twice and had no results yet. Then again I am very specific and picky of what I am looking for in someone. I go with rifle round approach vs. shotgun of posting my ad (here or elsewhere).

 

[Bagelfather]

So ask them if they have references, do a little homework~you won't be sorry!
XOXO

I know you're a reference for me lol 😉

 

[Oddjob0226]

You also gotta keep in mind..... combine male hormone aggressiveness with having a perversion/fetish-thing that we don't control and don't know where it came from, many of us ARE desperate & sad! I mean, good old Bible belt Dallas has "drag shows" on a weekly basis in several different nightclubs - there ain't no tickling nightclub shows around here, I'll tell you what. Many of us are more closeted than grandpa's overcoat in the summertime. (That's the best I could come up with; My subscription to "Dennis Miller's Metaphors Monthly" has run out). This place is a nice and needed escape valve; often, in excitement and desperation, we push too hard, especially new people to the TMF, or to the Internet in general.

I've played in public gatherings and in private playtime, I've even hosted a few events. I truly never get enough as a 'ler or 'lee - even if I've had "enough... enough.... ENOUGH!" for a brief moment.. The people I've met up with have always been well behaved and civil. Then again, I know under that civility, there is an active volcano rumbling underneath - the others that love it, are truly into tickling as part of their nature, never get enough. Sometimes even the most together, conservative no-nonsense corporate types will shotgun a guy in the face with bird pellets without intending to. That's how some of us overeager folks are.

And it isn't always the men. Just mostly the men.. Sorry about that! Anyway, stay here awhile, speak up more, get a feel for the place, and toughen your skin in spots, without losing that sensitivity - eventually you'll find a comfort zone that is right for you, and the people who get to know you here will learn your limits, how much is too much, etc.

But then again, Mary .....where you from? Can I buy you a drink?

 

[tklbd]

Giving it time:

MaryAllison;
Even though I am a male member, I hope you can take to heart what I have to say.
I believe most everyone I've talked to here so far is truly nice. I've only been here a couple weeks and have already done some weeding out of my own. Listen carefully to Steph. I just started talking with her the last few days, and I already feel a genuine trust in whatever she says. She is a very intelligent lady and has given you some great advise. No offense to all you others, just like how Steph has welcomed me in so far!
Anyway, I think of myself as a pretty good judge of character, and you seem to be a genuinely good person. Like most everyone has said, give it time, and you'll find out who you can trust and want to talk to.
You can PM me anytime to talk about whatever you want, I'm a pretty good listener.
Good luck and take care,
Tklbd

 

[lk70]

I don't really think I need to chime in because I'm just going to echo what every one else said, but I thought another supporting voice from a female couldn't hurt. There are truly nice people here, moreso than in other on-line communities, I think. Someday we'll have to debate whether ticklephiles are just more fun over all!

Anyway, I've met people from the forum and have experienced nothing but respect and consideration. The few ignorant PMs are nothing at all to worry about.

And PS - you can trust Steph. She was the one to help me into the fold as well.

 

[gargoyleofdusk]

I admit, my 'social skills' can, at times, be considered suspect.
I try to be low key and sincere, but don't always come across like that.
I ask to chat more often than not, but yes - I do love to tickle, but most of what I partake in, is only online (haven't found a local 'lee).
I hope you don't give up on this forum, or on all the 'lers about - not all are tongue-dragging neandrathals (me, I am just a freak).
Take care, and good luck.

 

[steph]

ohhhhhhhhhhhh....

Thanks for the kind words, you sweeties!

And Bagel, I'd vouch any day~he gives a great massage too girls!

XOXO

 

[inthenameoffun2]

Hi,

I think I understand what you mean and if I'm not on the same page then I'm sorry. I have sent a few PM's in my day here. I have noticed a few things. It is due to a few out here in PM land, that makes it hard for a women to trust a guy who sends her a PM and is interested in talking or what ever, and who is not being one of those guys who is making it sound as if, "this is what I want, therefor you sent the post so you want it too." in that I mean that not all of us guys are bad. but again due to a few others it makes it tough to be trusted. Now add in the married part and well for some reason it is even more of a tough thing to be trusted, because some married guys here again, are saying one thing and wanting or talking or even ( acting) as if, they are not married so they do the "come on baby you know you want too," as my wife has told me about and yet she says she is married and not interested yet it still happens, even form the same guy. Agian, when I send a PM, and it says I'm married, well I have noticed that I should not have sent the PM at all. I have again spoken to some here and those that I have spoken too have been nice, and polite. They have explained what they have been going though and how they have handled it. But I have also noticed that some women here who have replied to this post, for some reason they have said PC me back, or hey, lets talk again, and do say that all is fine with me and there is no problem with us still talking, and such, then they do not relpy to my post or even let me know that they are not interested any longer. I'm not a bad guy, really, lol, (and I know thats been said before to others too.) To finish this up, yes there are guys that make it tough to be trusted, but not all the ladys here are that nice back to those of us who are nice. Most are, but I guess even some ladys, do change there minds, just wish they would say so and not just never reply back. Ok I ranted a little, but thats an attempt ( and for some they will feel thats a bad attempt ) but hey I though this might help in some strange way.

 

[commander]

You're exactly right. I've