A Sad Tale Of Motherhood

[qjakal]

People With Issues :

In Albuquerque, Darcy Ornelas, 31, was arrested in July after a car crash that killed her 4-year-old son. According to police, Ornelas had several drinks at a party but refused advice not to drive home. She fastened her own seatbelt but not the kid's, and then, in her Nissan 300 ZX, she became involved in a road race to prevent a Mustang from passing her, continuing to speed up and cut in front to frustrate that driver. After the fatal crash into a utility pole, Ornelas implied (according to police) that she had been concerned about being upstaged by another sports car. [Albuquerque Journal, 7-30,02]

Yuck....there really ought to be a test for parenthood.

 

[amk714]

This story makes me 😡

If I weren't such a nice guy, I'd say that some prospective parents should be sterlized. 🙁

 

[Biggles of 266]

I thought I heard something a while back about tests before you are allowed to have children. Personality tests, that kinda thing...

I know some people who work in the state school system, and you hear stories almost as bad as this every day. Some parents just don't even think they have responsibilities to their children.

 

[Biggles of 266]

aah, I just remembered! To claim goverment child support money, parents have to take parenting classes. Don't do the class, don't get any money.

Plus: Parents who need the extra money will have to learn basic techniques if they want their free cash to continue.

Minus: Parents who don't care won't take the classes and have even less money to buy food.



What do you guys think, are these classes a good idea?

 

[amk714]

aah, I just remembered! To claim goverment child support money, parents have to take parenting classes. Don't do the class, don't get any money.

Plus: Parents who need the extra money will have to learn basic techniques if they want their free cash to continue.

Minus: Parents who don't care won't take the classes and have even less money to buy food.



What do you guys think, are these classes a good idea?

Perhaps, Biggles, although I seriously doubt if a bunch of classes about parenting can really make a difference for some people who aren't fit to be parents. 🙁

 

[qjakal]

Hell Yes

Anything that gets people to think about their personal responsibilities and the consequences of poor actions is a good idea....I'll donate some tax dollars towards that! Q

 

[amk714]

Re: Hell Yes

Anything that gets people to think about their personal responsibilities and the consequences of poor actions is a good idea....I'll donate some tax dollars towards that! Q

I agree, Q, and I'd also support those classes with my tax money. I just hope that they'll work for at least the majority of people who bother to take them. 🙂

 

[JPie1]

a really hard thread for me to read

When I hear stories like this it really makes me want to cry. You see my husband and I tried desperately for years to have biological children. After many years of procedures, pain and heartache we decided that it was more important for us to become parents then give birth. We decided to adopt a child. But in order to adopt we had to spend countless hours proving ourselves to be worthy parents both psychlogically and financially. We had to get fingerprinted by the FBI and have us certified that we had no criminal records, child abuse, etc There is nothing put into place at hospitals or anywhere to certify biological parents as fit parents.

But alias all the hardship was worth everything for my beautiful son, so much so that we are about a month away from our 2nd adoption.

JPie

 

[qjakal]

Congrats JPie...

We're about 3 weeks away from our adopted daughter being with us..🙂 🙂 🙂 The process IS exhausting, isn't it? Q

 

[JPie1]

congrats to you qjakal!

The process is long, tiring but oh so worth it! Are you adopting domestically or internationally? My son is 4 and he is from Colombia, we should be back there by years end for our baby girl. We had a wonderful experience on our 1st adoption as hard as it was. Enjoy every moment with your precious arrival!

JPie

 

[amk714]

Congrats, Q and JPie!

May all your adoptees have happy lives. (Actually, I'm sure they will with you both as parents!) 🙂 I think if adopters have to go through all that, so should biological parents.

 

[JoBelle]

The same type of thing happened here not too long ago. The mother was 22 if I recall correctly. She had her two children in the car and became enraged when another car cut her off in traffic. What followed was in essense a car chase in which she tried to run the other young girl off the road. In the end, a child less than two years old was dead and everyone else was injured. 🙁 The even more sad fact- That mother wasn't drunk. She was cold sober and simply STUPID! I just cannot understand te recklessness. It makes my heart hurt.

Jpie, I can understand you on this one. As the biological mother of one young child, I'm now looking at adoption to continue my family. *can't have anymore the old fashioned way as I had the baby maker removed due to cancer* Having recently stepped into the arena known as "The Adoption Process" I'm not sure I'm going to make it. Bless you and other adoptive parents for following through and creating families where there were non before. Good luck with your next step!

Joby

 

[amk714]

Just a quick thought here--these stories show not only how some people should not be parents, but also how dangerous road rage is. Be calm when driving, or someone could get hurt or killed! 🙁

P.S. Joby, good luck with the adoption! 🙂

 

[JPie1]

Jobelle,

If you ever want to talk adoption please feel free to talk with me
[email protected], I am not only on my 2nd adoption but part of a couple of adoption support groups and have worked several adoption conferences. My adoptions are both international but depending on where you live both avenues - domestic and international works. If you want to parent again you will! Also I don't know if all you adopting parents are aware there is now a $10,000 tax credit for adoption both domestic and international.

Adoption Creed

Not flesh of my flesh,
nor bone of my bone,
But still miracalously my own,
Never forget for a single minute,
you didn't grow under my heart
but in it.


JPie

 

[qjakal]

International...

My wife & my mother will be leaving for China later this week. Both are hardy, experienced happy travelers, exactly the opposite of myself! We settled on China because we felt the need was greatest there at the time we made our decision. Love this poem, btw!!! My heartfelt thanks!! Joby, feel free to get my address from Ray if you want to chat about this also....woohoo! Q


Adoption Creed

Not flesh of my flesh,
nor bone of my bone,
But still miracalously my own,
Never forget for a single minute,
you didn't grow under my heart
but in it.

 

[JPie1]

qjakal, good luck and safe journey to your wife and mother! I picked Colombia as the need is great there as well given the economic turmoil and conflicts.

 

[qjakal]

Next time?

perhaps we can switch next time..lol? I'm missing a chance to see the Great Wall...sigh, but I travel so poorly it's ridiculous. Good luck to you as well JPie. If this keeps up, I may have to host a TMF adoptees get together someday! Q

 

[JPie1]

you know qjakal....I am only across the LI Sound in CT, not impossible!! I used to live out in Huntington Station in fact so I know the Island well. By the way I am already priming my 4 years old to love tickling!! He is quite the ticklish little lad and will actually ask me to tickle him now.

 

[Moses25]

License to kill

You need a license to drive, own and operate a firearm, get married, etc., but any freak of nature is allowed to have kids?!?

These so-called parents have kids who are going to attack every aspect of society when they are old enough, just like their parents did to them through habitual negligence and/or abuse. Violence, undisputedly, always breeds violence, which may exhibit itself in inconspicuous ways...


Columbine disasters just waiting to happen; even terrorists were nice kids, once upon a time.

I need ta git me a gun!

Cheers.

 

[QBWeaver]

That is so cool to read about all of you who have adopted children.

I have three cousins who were adopted. I knew it growing up and I actually felt a bit jealous because their parents (my aunt and uncle) told them that they were picked out special! Well they are all special to me.

And now... I'm about 2 weeks away from having another nephew. My brother and his wife are adopting a 9 year old. They have an 11 year old now. The young man has been in foster care for 3 years. His parents lost their parental rights long ago and the timing just worked out. He's a wonderful kid who's fun-loving, good in school, and artistic. Actually sounds quite like my brother and my other nephew. And this little guy even looks like my nephew.

This boy was abused by his father who is now in prison and abused by his mother who is in jail for drugs. Both of them have lost their parental rights. The child doesn't want anything to do with his biological parents and I sure understand why. And the best part is he won't have to change schools. His foster mom teaches and the school is in the same school district so he'll be able to continue going to his school, have all his friends and still get to see his foster mom. And it turns out that my brother and his wife have become good friends with the foster mom so I may get a foster sister-in-law? Oh boy. This all gets so confusing.

So with this one I will now have 10 nieces and 15 nephews.

Ain't life Grand?

 

[JPie1]

QB...that is such a wonderful story. There is good in this world, for all the bad parents out there, there are many with such love and openess in their hearts.

I have a family who moved in behind us with 6 kids under age 5, 4 whom have been adopted by them after being with them through foster care and 2 that are still with them from foster care. They are all from abusive or drug mothers. They are from black, spanish and white backgrounds. It amazing how far a little TLC will go with these kids. My son loves to play with these boys and its great for him to grow up with the diversity.

JPie

 

[BigJim]

I've heard some people suggest that parents like this should be forcibly sterilised. I don't know if I'd go that far, but jail and a hefty fine is DEFINATLEY in order!