Well, I dont know how many of you might have read a post ive done recently, I was kind of brief and I thought Id explain futher here, and if you havent heard then this is just for my friends and fellow community members to know.
Earlier this year I was diagnosed with a conditon right now being labeled as "Extreme Neuropathy", they have not narrowed it down yet and are still doing many tests on me. What this is basiclly is that the nerves in my arms are dying and in some cases already dead. I can not feel heat, cold, pain, pressure, etc on the skin of my arms as well as losing strength in them. There are no painkillers for the pain associated with the nerves dying because it is the nerves themselves that are causing the pain, and any kind of even huge painkillers (they tried me on everything) doesnt even barely make a dent in the pain. They are trying a new medicine to allow me to deal with the pain, not help it...its called neurotin and it was given to people who had seizures to help them not convulse as bad but this medication has evidently helped people in my condition and also some suffering from MS. Now I have been informed that this actaully what Im suffering from now be a form of MS or that I might develop MS but Im fighting everyday to keep what I have togeather. This disease will only get worse not better and I can only hope that myself and my doctors at Duke Medical Center can find away to slow the progression and allow me to deal with it better than I do now. The constant pain and also with that the ability to sleep maybe 1 to 3 hours a night has definatley been a huge drain on my life. This is also why Ive been posting more than ever before because I now have the time since my doctors have classified me as "disabled" and I can no longer work. I have applied for disability through Social Security and have been told so far it looks good for me, so I can still help support my family. I have 2 wonderful children aged 5 and 2 and it hurts everyday knowing I can not hold them the way I used to or play with them outside like I used to because of how this disease has zapped me of strength and at times will. Also from this I suffer from depression and anxiety due to the pain and lack of sleep for the last 6 months. Of all my problems the depression is the worst and I think more people in the world should be aware of just how bad of a condition it is. You feel paraniod, afraid, mad, upset all the time and sometimes can not tell the diffrence between any of them. I used to love thunderstorms, now Im afraid of them. I used to love to go out to the mall and stuff but now I literally shake in fear just going to the grocery store. It takes all my willpower to go out with my wife, and IM thankful everyday that shes here with me helping me through this...her strength has gotten me this far and I know her and my children will give me the strength to go further.
Lastly there are many things in my life Ive done and I wish I hadnt (Im sure we all have that feeling) but there is for sure one thing I havent done that I wish I did and Im going to in my own way now....
I wish I could meet every member of the TMF and shake their hand. Especaiily those of the MODS here and MTP Jeff, they have done something special here people...bringing a communtiy like this togeather and keeping it from becomming a "porn site". I see this now as I always have as a community of people who share a passion for something that we all discuss.
There are many of you Ive known through AOL, USENET, ASFT, AMT etc over the years and I have always apprectiated your kind words and general attitude to me over the years. For those of you I have met recently I feel the same to you as I do for those Ive known awhile. I might have never been to nest or a gathering (maybe I did go to one in like 1997 I just cant remember that far back somedays) but I feel as close to many of you as if I did go. For anyone I havent had the pleasure of meeting I would certainly like to and my box is always open, Id be happy to talk about anything on your mind...I have the time now. Ive never been one to ask for anything from anyone on here, except maybe your ears once in awhile but I will ask for something now. For those of you that do (I pass no judgement on those that dont) I could use your prayers for myself and family to get us through this. Im looking at a long road here, and I could use all the spare tires I can get. Again thank you all and god bless, and dont forget to leave them laughing. I know Ill leave them a giggling, squirming mess, even in the arms hurt, I can still use the tounge and toes can be mighty tasty LOL.
(See Im in good spirits)
Thats just my dollar and 2 cents worth
also my yahoo chat ID is matpac252 incase youd like to chat with me there.
Warmest regards, A fellow TMFer and freind
Robert A.
Earlier this year I was diagnosed with a conditon right now being labeled as "Extreme Neuropathy", they have not narrowed it down yet and are still doing many tests on me. What this is basiclly is that the nerves in my arms are dying and in some cases already dead. I can not feel heat, cold, pain, pressure, etc on the skin of my arms as well as losing strength in them. There are no painkillers for the pain associated with the nerves dying because it is the nerves themselves that are causing the pain, and any kind of even huge painkillers (they tried me on everything) doesnt even barely make a dent in the pain. They are trying a new medicine to allow me to deal with the pain, not help it...its called neurotin and it was given to people who had seizures to help them not convulse as bad but this medication has evidently helped people in my condition and also some suffering from MS. Now I have been informed that this actaully what Im suffering from now be a form of MS or that I might develop MS but Im fighting everyday to keep what I have togeather. This disease will only get worse not better and I can only hope that myself and my doctors at Duke Medical Center can find away to slow the progression and allow me to deal with it better than I do now. The constant pain and also with that the ability to sleep maybe 1 to 3 hours a night has definatley been a huge drain on my life. This is also why Ive been posting more than ever before because I now have the time since my doctors have classified me as "disabled" and I can no longer work. I have applied for disability through Social Security and have been told so far it looks good for me, so I can still help support my family. I have 2 wonderful children aged 5 and 2 and it hurts everyday knowing I can not hold them the way I used to or play with them outside like I used to because of how this disease has zapped me of strength and at times will. Also from this I suffer from depression and anxiety due to the pain and lack of sleep for the last 6 months. Of all my problems the depression is the worst and I think more people in the world should be aware of just how bad of a condition it is. You feel paraniod, afraid, mad, upset all the time and sometimes can not tell the diffrence between any of them. I used to love thunderstorms, now Im afraid of them. I used to love to go out to the mall and stuff but now I literally shake in fear just going to the grocery store. It takes all my willpower to go out with my wife, and IM thankful everyday that shes here with me helping me through this...her strength has gotten me this far and I know her and my children will give me the strength to go further.
Lastly there are many things in my life Ive done and I wish I hadnt (Im sure we all have that feeling) but there is for sure one thing I havent done that I wish I did and Im going to in my own way now....
I wish I could meet every member of the TMF and shake their hand. Especaiily those of the MODS here and MTP Jeff, they have done something special here people...bringing a communtiy like this togeather and keeping it from becomming a "porn site". I see this now as I always have as a community of people who share a passion for something that we all discuss.
There are many of you Ive known through AOL, USENET, ASFT, AMT etc over the years and I have always apprectiated your kind words and general attitude to me over the years. For those of you I have met recently I feel the same to you as I do for those Ive known awhile. I might have never been to nest or a gathering (maybe I did go to one in like 1997 I just cant remember that far back somedays) but I feel as close to many of you as if I did go. For anyone I havent had the pleasure of meeting I would certainly like to and my box is always open, Id be happy to talk about anything on your mind...I have the time now. Ive never been one to ask for anything from anyone on here, except maybe your ears once in awhile but I will ask for something now. For those of you that do (I pass no judgement on those that dont) I could use your prayers for myself and family to get us through this. Im looking at a long road here, and I could use all the spare tires I can get. Again thank you all and god bless, and dont forget to leave them laughing. I know Ill leave them a giggling, squirming mess, even in the arms hurt, I can still use the tounge and toes can be mighty tasty LOL.
(See Im in good spirits)
Thats just my dollar and 2 cents worth
also my yahoo chat ID is matpac252 incase youd like to chat with me there.
Warmest regards, A fellow TMFer and freind
Robert A.
That really sucks, Rob! We've been hearing bad news like this from so many of our friends lately. Be assured that you'll be in thought and prayer. I know we haven't really talked much in a long time, having lost track of so many folks when I moved to CT. But, if you need to talk or anything, give a yell.
