Dave2112
Level of Cherry Feather
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2001
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Under no circumstances would I ever voluntarily choose to watch this shit, but I had an hour before work last night and there was literally nothing else on, so I caught the second half of this "award show". Here's a few simple insights I gleaned while watching this farce like the proverbial train wreck...
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Jessica Simpson and that Jake-whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is idiot she married are quite simply THE two stupidest people on the face of the planet. Actually, if you were to count the other four species of higher primates as "people" Jess and Hubby would still place third and fourth.
Apparently, NO ONE other than rap/hip-hop art....artis...heehee...ART...haahaa (Sorry, I have a hard time putting "rap" and "artist" in the same sentence) ok....rap or RB "performers" were considered for any category at all. They even divide the same drivel into two separate categories so they can give multiple awards to the same freakin' guy...
...and speaking of which. Shania Twian wins Best Country Art....artis...(oh, shit, not again)...Best Country Artist, even though she is not even remotley country. Hasn't been since the first album. The concept of "crossover artist" is to start in hillbilly music where they'll sign anyone with big hair and assests to match. Then you do whiny pop and win awards as pop/rock artists and country artists. Nifty, huh?
Still on Shania...she forgot an important thing in her acceptance speech. You know, that part after thanking God and the President and the fans...the part where it says "...and my husband, for hiring four producers, sixteen songwriters and three bands to turn his trophy wife into a star with no talent whatsoever." Yeah, she forgot that part.
Celine Dion scared the shit out of me. Ok, Celine's a fine looking woman under the right circumstances, but she cannot pull off the Britney thing. She comes onstage in this "dress" with NO back, the skirt down over her hips and this one piece of fabric going down the middle. Sounds good, but not on a woman who weighs 78 pounds after a Denny's Grand Slam. The worst part, however, was that Celine had dyed her hair, not blonde, but white. And, she had it cut short in this tight, curly "Aunt Bea" sort of 'do. The whole image just put this "Grandma in a Victoria Secrets Fuck-Me Dress" spike into the brains of 50,000,000 people. Frightening.
Kathy Griffin is still a big slut. A funny big slut, but still a big slut.
R. Kelly does this stupid end-of-show "song" on a sleigh and shit, and I'm thinking "I guess if you rape little girls and you're famous, they give you awards..." Interesting concept.
I see that "American Idol Inc." is putting its media puppets on display nicely. I say put Clay Aiken on tour with Motley Crue just to see what happens. Or how about Kelly Clarkson on tour with KISS? In a thong?
And finally, I took note that these sort of things are pretty much destroying the future for any sort of an American culture. The only thing they let you hear anymore has a Pepsi label on it, and the only thing they want you to see are naked teenage girls. Anyone remember Zeppelin? Jeeezz...
There's an hour of my life I'll never get back.
********************************
Jessica Simpson and that Jake-whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is idiot she married are quite simply THE two stupidest people on the face of the planet. Actually, if you were to count the other four species of higher primates as "people" Jess and Hubby would still place third and fourth.
Apparently, NO ONE other than rap/hip-hop art....artis...heehee...ART...haahaa (Sorry, I have a hard time putting "rap" and "artist" in the same sentence) ok....rap or RB "performers" were considered for any category at all. They even divide the same drivel into two separate categories so they can give multiple awards to the same freakin' guy...
...and speaking of which. Shania Twian wins Best Country Art....artis...(oh, shit, not again)...Best Country Artist, even though she is not even remotley country. Hasn't been since the first album. The concept of "crossover artist" is to start in hillbilly music where they'll sign anyone with big hair and assests to match. Then you do whiny pop and win awards as pop/rock artists and country artists. Nifty, huh?
Still on Shania...she forgot an important thing in her acceptance speech. You know, that part after thanking God and the President and the fans...the part where it says "...and my husband, for hiring four producers, sixteen songwriters and three bands to turn his trophy wife into a star with no talent whatsoever." Yeah, she forgot that part.
Celine Dion scared the shit out of me. Ok, Celine's a fine looking woman under the right circumstances, but she cannot pull off the Britney thing. She comes onstage in this "dress" with NO back, the skirt down over her hips and this one piece of fabric going down the middle. Sounds good, but not on a woman who weighs 78 pounds after a Denny's Grand Slam. The worst part, however, was that Celine had dyed her hair, not blonde, but white. And, she had it cut short in this tight, curly "Aunt Bea" sort of 'do. The whole image just put this "Grandma in a Victoria Secrets Fuck-Me Dress" spike into the brains of 50,000,000 people. Frightening.
Kathy Griffin is still a big slut. A funny big slut, but still a big slut.
R. Kelly does this stupid end-of-show "song" on a sleigh and shit, and I'm thinking "I guess if you rape little girls and you're famous, they give you awards..." Interesting concept.
I see that "American Idol Inc." is putting its media puppets on display nicely. I say put Clay Aiken on tour with Motley Crue just to see what happens. Or how about Kelly Clarkson on tour with KISS? In a thong?
And finally, I took note that these sort of things are pretty much destroying the future for any sort of an American culture. The only thing they let you hear anymore has a Pepsi label on it, and the only thing they want you to see are naked teenage girls. Anyone remember Zeppelin? Jeeezz...
There's an hour of my life I'll never get back.
