Reading through this thread, you're just hoping for a quick and easy solution.
People have given you suggestions and ideas and you've just knocked each one down for whatever reason.
And unfortunately, life doesn't work like that. You need to stop looking for easy solutions and start taking some initiative.
yeah, if ud lived my life, seen the crap iv seen, felt the loss that i have, you wouldnt be so snarky about it. im as negative as i am because life always beats me down. if somebody isnt stealing something from me, somebody is finding some new way to make my life hell. iv actually had a rather large group of people ( as in around 30 people ) all hell bent on doing anything and everything to make my life miserable. iv been egged, had a window busted out on my vehicle, been mugged, been constantly mocked, the list goes on. oh, did i also mention that my family sucks? guess what? MY FAMILY SUCKS! my mother died of a heart attack. my father blames me for her death. hes a drug addict, shoves his mormonism down ur throat every chance he gets., is in a wheelchair and makes sure everybody feels sorry for him, when its his own lazy ass fault hes in the wheelchair to begin with.
heres a story for ur ass. ok, so he was involved in an industrial accident a few years before i was born. messed up his back. thats fine, i cant be mad for that. years later, the injury caught up with him, nearly paralyzing him. cant really be mad at him for that either. heres what i can be mad for. during that harsh time that he was near-paralyzed, i was his arms and legs. i did EVERYTHING for him, in the bathroom even i did everything for him. i brought him all his food, moved him when he had to move for whatever reason, i literally waited on this man hand and foot for a period of about 6 months, until his body finally started to repair itself. for the first month or so after he got better, he sang praise to the heavens about my service to him. however, nowadays, whenever we get into even the smallest, most insignificant arguement, he forgets all about that and calls me a lazy bum who isnt worth the bargain outlet clothes on my back.
so what does all this have to do with him being lazy? heres what. what caused him to get better finally was another surgery. he had some kinda thing done on his neck that released the pressure on his nerves, allowing his body to work properly again. the doctors gave him a year. they said these words exactly " if you work at it within the next year, you will walk again. " so what did the motherfucker do? he laid his bitch ass in bed, yelled at me, and got high off the painkillers they gave to him. he didnt do jack shit in that year, and is now confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his stupid life. i have no remorse for him at all, because its his own lazy fault that he cant walk right now.
now, this is the part where my mother comes in to it all. she died october 27th, 2007. it was a heart attack, brought on my many factors, not the least of which was stress. stress caused by money problems, stress caused from depression ( long story that im not getting into here....she lost her dream job after 20 years ) and stress from my father always picking on me. now, normally a family grieves and moves on, right? nope. my father wont even talk about my mother. i try to bring her up, hes like " dont you talk about your mother to me "
now some could attribute his behavior to the shock of losing his wife, his love, his soulmate. dont be fooled my friends, it has nothing to do with that at all. he lost his source of wealthy living, thats his only sadness. he saw my mother as nothing more than a paycheck. a golden ticket to the magical land of get-whatever-the-fuck-i-want-because-this-bitch-is-in-love-with-me.
she made serious money, up until a few months before her death, because she was a head nurse at a major hospital in baltimore. THAT is the only reason he married her. the only reason i even exist, is because my father saw his fucking meal ticket in a selfless woman who wanted nothing more than to help those in need.
let me give you people a picture of what hes done in the past 3 years. my mother had $100,000 in life insurance when she died. now, for a family of 3 ( my father, my uncle, and myself ) that would take care of us for more than 2 years due to other sources of income. maybe it wouldnt be the richest life, but bills would be paid and food would be in our stomachs. is that what happened? nope. he wasted it. he bought himself 2 huge tvs, a fancy ass $1000 bed, a laptop computer ( ironically im on that right now, ill explain in a few ), ate delivery pizza, king crab legs, and fancy sub sandwiches from the most expensive place in town, for a year. he wasted that $100,000 away on mostly insignificant things in less than a year. he DID pay for a few important things, like several bills that needed working with, the funeral costs, etc etc. but the rest of it was royally wasted, whilst he lived like a fucking king.
fast forward to febuary 2010. if you all remember, thats the month the east coast of the USA got stomped by a HUGE, record breaking snow storm. yeah, guess who was suddenly homeless the day that storm started in this area? ME! that ungrateful, heartless, selfish, lazy fucking prick of an old man that im ashamed to call my father, he kicked me out merely an hour after it started snowing. oh, thats not even the best part. the way he did it? he went to the local courthouse, said that i beat him up, and that his life was in danger, and got an official protective order, not only forcing me out of the house under police escort, but forcing me to stay out of and away from that house, and out of contact with him, or face legal ramifications ( like jail ).
now why would he do this? some of you are probably asking. ill tell you why, because i didnt wash my used dishes the night before. i worked late the night before, came home, got a bite to eat, put my dishes in the sink, and went to bed. i was tired from working. i was going to do them when i woke up. he woke me up at 7AM ( i only got home at 1AM ) and started screaming about how i never did anything, that i was lazy, blah blah blah blah blah. long story short, we got into a minor scuffle that HE started, and because hes an old man in a wheelchair, he is automatically innocent, no matter what. i went to the court with solid, undeniable evidence that he was a lying sack of shit and that i deserved to have the protective order dismissed. what did i get? the judge took one look at my father, and completely ignored every word that came out of my mouth, and solidified the order for a full year. im still under that stupid protective order now.
fast forward to december. my mothers retirement money becomes available to him, and he gets another $36,000. Once again, that would tide some over for quite a while. now, given the past, i knew my chances of getting any of it were slim to none. so i talked to my uncle, and said " all i want is $5000 so i can buy a vehicle and pay off all my debt, and he wont hear of me again " after some deliberation, and pressure from several different people, i was told over the phone, by my father " $5000 isnt going to happen,
i have bills to pay, that money has to last me until i die. ill give you $1500 to buy a vehicle, and thats it, not a penny more. " now naturally, getting ANY of it, i was ecstatic, given the past. til i found out how much he had left of that $36,000. he has a total of $10,000. hes had the money for a MONTH. that man has blown $26,000 IN A MONTH! so much for my mothers retirement money. by the way, go back and read the underlined sentence a few lines up. yeah, see what im talking about? about $3000 of it went to bills, $1800 to me ( i have ways of milking him for money when he has it, i am after all his son, i have his same talent for making people do what i want....not that im proud of it ) and $1000 to my half-sister, and youve got a healthy idea of how much money hes actually wasted. one of the things he bought was not one, but 2 new laptop computers, top of the line machines. did i get one? no, i got the broken, outdated hunk of garbage he bought 3 years ago with the first batch of money he got. This thing had so many viruses and wasted space when i got it, i dont understand how i even have it working right now. thank goodness for geek squad, i suppose.
ok, iv been typing for a while, and frankly im sick of it. basically, the moral of all of this ranting and raving? MY LIFE FUCKING SUCKS WORSE THAN MOST PEOPLE, SO ANYONE WHO THINKS I SHOULD BE MORE POSITIVE CAN SHOVE IT STRAIGHT UP THEIR ASS!!!!!