Am I doing this right ladies????

Hosetickler23 · Oct 17, 2004

I have an interesting problem right now and actually I need a Female responce so Steph, Kitten, and you other Ladies Please respond.

I'm friends with this girl and she has had fairly bad luck with relationship. She and I are getting very close. Now I honsetly am suddenly very afraid. I always am nice and respectful. Now I don't know if I'm getting mixed signals or am just over reacting but I get the Impression that she may be interested in me, I am interested in her. I won't tell her how I feel come on I'm a guy plus I don't want to lose a friend. I would like to know when it's time to go from just being friend to the possibility of being partners?

steph · Oct 17, 2004

Hi~

Depends on how close of friends you are, IMHO. You could take the direct approach, shyly, "Do you ever think of us as ever becoming more than friends?"

Or could play the wait and see, and let her take the lead...Your fear is really understandable, no one wants to be hurt, relationships are scary for all of us...I'd just take your time, there's no clock above your head hon, go slooooooooooooow, try not to overthink, be casual. If it's meant to be, it'll work itself out eventually. "The right time" kind of depends on the relationship, chemistry, signals. You have the advantage of being such a nice age, you've really got all the time in the world. I absolutely think a friend can turn into something more! Hope I've helped a little. Will wait for rest of the gals to chime in now...

XOXO

Hosetickler23 · Oct 17, 2004

unlike most men I find the best way to get a womans opinion is to come right out and ask

the_Baron · Oct 17, 2004

if thats true, just ask your friend her opinion on your relationship!

Hosetickler23 · Oct 18, 2004

Baron let me explain it simply if I go to her and ask her opinion it could create a very weird situation where I look like a complete fool or a horses ass (I do a good enough job at this myself.) This is a mistake that most men make, I'm sick of making this mistake, I swear this I will not make this mistake again.

.

Ayla ny · Oct 18, 2004

I’d like to say all of the nice stuff that goes along with the way things ‘should be’… but when I was a young, stupid girl with horrible taste in men… I know that I broke a few nice guy hearts.

go in with your eyes wide open and know that if it doesn’t work out, it very well could be that she has a few issues of her own to work through before she is ready for a real man/nice guy.

so far as approach goes, I would opt for laying your cards on the table in a very non-confrontational way. something along the lines of, “there just might be a really nice guy. who’s crazy about you, right under your nose…”

good luck! and stay that “nice guy”, it’ll pay off in the long run!

Hosetickler23 · Oct 19, 2004

One on Matsui on first, Jeter at second, Peirre third and Im hitting aganst Babe Ruth I keep knocking foul. In other words Im getting my chances and keep missing them

nenezinho · Oct 19, 2004

Well....I´m currently living a very similar story...only a bit fast forwarded.

I had the same mind troubles you´re having and being in a very stressful time of my life at college I decided I could not stand the waiting and had to make a move. So it was all cards on table to me.

The results???
hummmm terrible!!! she was like running away from me and still feels a bit unsure near me now that several months passed. I´ve spent a lot of time since october trying to regain her trust and I´m finally achieving it again and even better than before...but I´m still not even closer to dating her. So....it was a bad move!

I´ve built an opinion about starting relationships:
I believe the best way is to take your time, try to get out with her, earn her trust, but just casual! without showing your true colours. Wait carefully for the right moment where both of you will be alone and if she gets really near you than you can make your move and kiss her. After kissing her you may tell her you love her more than everything and all those sweet things you´re already feelling. But try not saying them before you kiss her! lol Based on my experience girls tend to get scared if you say anything before the right time. Go careful, take your time, get closer and closer, keep beying there for her! and wait for the signal to kiss her! 🙂

best of luck!

ticklkitten · Oct 20, 2004

I agree too. Yeah, it might not work but then again, most relationships don't. As a girl I think we like it better with laying it out on the table. Not being confrontational but being sweet and honest. I think Ayla's advice is right on the money.

Kitten

Ayla ny said:
so far as approach goes, I would opt for laying your cards on the table in a very non-confrontational way. something along the lines of, “there just might be a really nice guy. who’s crazy about you, right under your nose…”

good luck! and stay that “nice guy”, it’ll pay off in the long run!