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an atheist joke
- Thread starter isabeau
- Start date
amk714 said:I'm an agnostic, but I still find that pretty funny. Thanks, Izz.
P.S. That's if the atheist isn't cremated, right? 😛
aww amk i wasnt being insulting hope you dont take it that way.
isabeau xoxo and glad you liked it dussacar.
milagros317
Wielder of 500 Feathers
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LOL 😛
Very amusing, Isabeau. 😀
Very amusing, Isabeau. 😀
My favorite atheist joke goes like this....
An atheist is walking through the forest marvelling at nature. It all seems so beautiful to him and he gets caught up in the moment and doesnt notice the large bear stalking him. He hears a noise and turns around and sees the bear ready to strike. OH GOD SAVE ME he screams and at that instant everything is frozen in time and he hears a voice. "You wish for me to save you?" The atheist startled and now trembling replies.."No, Im not a hyprocrit. I have spent my life not beleiving in you, thinking those that did belive in you were crazy and generally not caring at all about religion." said the atheist. "But perhaps", the atheist continued,"as a merciful God as I hear you are..perhaps instead of saving me, you could make the bear a christian instead." "It shall be done" says the voice...and time begins again. The man falls to his knees thankful for such a reprieve when he notices a strange look on the bears face.
The bear puts his paws togeather and prays..."Thank you Lord for this meal which I am about to recieve."
ROFL...I still laugh everytime I visualise it.
Rob
An atheist is walking through the forest marvelling at nature. It all seems so beautiful to him and he gets caught up in the moment and doesnt notice the large bear stalking him. He hears a noise and turns around and sees the bear ready to strike. OH GOD SAVE ME he screams and at that instant everything is frozen in time and he hears a voice. "You wish for me to save you?" The atheist startled and now trembling replies.."No, Im not a hyprocrit. I have spent my life not beleiving in you, thinking those that did belive in you were crazy and generally not caring at all about religion." said the atheist. "But perhaps", the atheist continued,"as a merciful God as I hear you are..perhaps instead of saving me, you could make the bear a christian instead." "It shall be done" says the voice...and time begins again. The man falls to his knees thankful for such a reprieve when he notices a strange look on the bears face.
The bear puts his paws togeather and prays..."Thank you Lord for this meal which I am about to recieve."
ROFL...I still laugh everytime I visualise it.
Rob
amk714
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Not bad, Rob. But if he's a true atheist, this is how the conversation might go:
"You wish for me to save you?"
"Who ARE you?"
"I'm God, you atheist!"
"Prove it."
*lightning strikes a few feet away from him*
"That was just a coincidence."
"What do I have to do to convince you?"
"Appear before me."
"Fine." *A man who looks like Jesus appears.*
"Show me your ID."
"Jesus Christ! Here." *flashes ID with GOD written on it.*
"How do I know that isn't fake?"
"That's it, I'm letting the bear eat you alive."
"Then what?"
"You'll see."
"No I won't; I'll be dead."
*Sigh.*
The end. 😀
"You wish for me to save you?"
"Who ARE you?"
"I'm God, you atheist!"
"Prove it."
*lightning strikes a few feet away from him*
"That was just a coincidence."
"What do I have to do to convince you?"
"Appear before me."
"Fine." *A man who looks like Jesus appears.*
"Show me your ID."
"Jesus Christ! Here." *flashes ID with GOD written on it.*
"How do I know that isn't fake?"
"That's it, I'm letting the bear eat you alive."
"Then what?"
"You'll see."
"No I won't; I'll be dead."
*Sigh.*
The end. 😀
MrMacphisto
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LOL... everyone's made some good ones on this thread, but I have to bring up an old agnostic joke....
What does an agnostic dyslexic insomniac do?
Stay up late wondering if there really is a dog....
What does an agnostic dyslexic insomniac do?
Stay up late wondering if there really is a dog....
sole seeker
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LMAO! There are some tasty zingers on here. Thanks, Isabeau for bringing it up.
