An interesting question for everyone...

[Cheshire Cat]

A lot of you know I dabble in sexual pyschology a lot, and something I remember reading has been bugging me. It said that the sexual fetish as a whole is almost primarily male dominated. Now I dismissed this until I really began to think. Nearly all the men I've met into this have been into it for a sexual reason, while most women are into because its quote "intense" or "A rush", purely for unsexual enjoyment.

This can also be seen in how overly sexual and more S&M like the gay tickling community is. This is because nearly all of them are into it for sexual reasons. Wheres the lesbian tickling community? LOL.

So basically what I want to know is how many females out there have it as a true sexual fetish (and not "I learned how sexual it could be over time". I mean like since puberty and the birth of your sex drive, like most guys have it) and how many men have it as simple enjoyment?

I still dont believe that this is true and would like to think there was more of a balance...

 

[ontheverge]

I was thinking about this today because I was reading a thread by someone (don't remember who) who wondered when it was ok to tickle a potential girlfriend. The response I came up with was "Whenever we consummated the relationship." I say this because tickling holds exclusively sexual appeal for me. My little tickling fetish is too intimate and erotic to be shared with just anyone. If a man were to tickle me casually, I would have the same reaction that I'd have if he'd grabbed my ass.

I think we tend to shy away from revealing our kinks, especially if they're outside of the mainstream. That may be why you don't hear many women admit to getting off on tickling.

 

[Mimi]

While my reaction is often based on the kind of relationship I have with the person tickling me (friend, partner, family, fellow TMFer), I have to say in general it is definitely a sexual fetish for me. I can't deny that I get aroused by being tickled by someone I am intimate with, and sometimes even if I have been tickled real good for a period of time by a friend. I don't always act on it, but the feelings and connection is definitely there.

Mimi

 

[siamese dream]

for me, it's a sexual fetish, but it's also a playful thing, intense, 'a rush', and so on. It's always fun and on many levels, it doesn't have to involve a sexual act in the traditional sense at all. But it is most definitely sexual for me and has been since I was too young to understand what those feelings were.

 

[Dave2112]

Good thread, Cheshire.

I've had this discussion with a few girlfriends before, trying to explain the fascination. Contrary to popular belief, tickling isn't always sexual, at least not for me. I'm heavily into BDSM and such, and it's more psychological than anything.

If I'm with someone I have that kind of a relationship, it is no doubt a sexual situation...but I've done a lot of bondage and tickling play for its own sake. Much of it stems from the fact that I do like the Dominant aspect of having a woman bound, but at heart I'm not really a hard-ass type. So, I'm not into pain or abuse of that nature. However, there has to be some form of discipline involved...he he he...

What never ceases to amaze me is how, among my more intense S&M friends, I'm considered somewhat "light". However, most of these same folks have a "no tickling" rule, as they just can't take it. Strange, eh?

 

[DungeonMaster]

"What never ceases to amaze me is how, among my more intense S&M friends, I'm considered somewhat "light". However, most of these same folks have a "no tickling" rule, as they just can't take it. Strange, eh?" DAVE 2112

Dave, it is very strange indeed...
It's as if your comment came from my own mouth. I've had exactly the same experience. These so called hardcore S&M people cannot handle the tickling experience. This is too strange for me to understand... although I have my thoughts on it.
DungeonMaster.

 

[Dave2112]

DungeonMaster, someday perhaps I'll share my experiences at the Vault or that shithole Hellfire club. If you've never met Rick "The God"...count yourself lucky.

It's an odd dynamic, the whole S&M thing. I can get a Sub screaming in seconds and begging for mercy, but since I didn't use a power drill to do it, I guess it doesn't "count".

Drop me a line sometime. [email protected] It might make for an interesting exchange.

 

[kingofswing]

Not to change the topic of the thread...

Dave and DM,

I have had the EXACT same reaction from S&M friends. Tickling is light and not really hardcore, but yet none of them can stand even a little of it. When pressed, they say, "I just don't like it, ok?". lol

I think being truly tickle tortured is the most vulnerable a person can be. There is a certain "dignity" in accepting pain in an S&M situation. You grit your teeth, take the flogging, and move on. With tickling, the 'lee has to totally give up any semblance of control. Laughing hysterically and reactions caused by moving a finger an inch or two across the sole of the foot. Very intense.

And to keep this on topic, I have only met a few women in my life (I'm only 26 though! lol) that have been tickle fetishists. I have met many (including the wonderful lady I'm dating now) that have really gotten into it once introduced to it.

 

[njjen3953]

Re: Not to change the topic of the thread...

First, I need to answer the question that is the topic of this thread. I DO NOT want to be accused of thread THREAD HIJACKING again.
Yes, for me it is definitley a sexual fetish.

I think being truly tickle tortured is the most vulnerable a person can be. There is a certain "dignity" in accepting pain in an S&M situation. You grit your teeth, take the flogging, and move on. With tickling, the 'lee has to totally give up any semblance of control. Laughing hysterically and reactions caused by moving a finger an inch or two across the sole of the foot. Very intense.

BINGO!!!! You have hit the nail right on the head. I have had this discussion with so many people and this is what makes the most sense.

Good job, shipshirt. For a 26 year old, you have great insight.

Jen

 

[kingofswing]

Why thanks!

I don't know much about art, but I know what I like!

I've actually taken the time to understand what about tickling (and I'm most definitely a 'ler) is so exciting to me. Plus, it's a lot easier to get someone into it if you can paint a vivid and intriguing picture of why you are into it. It beats "well 'cause it makes me hard". lol

By the way, Jen...is that your foot in the picture? If so, how do those long prickly things work?

 

[njjen3953]

Re: Why thanks!

By the way, Jen...is that your foot in the picture? If so, how do those long prickly things work?

LOL. Yes shipshirt, it is my foot. I laugh because I have had this pic up forever and all of a sudden I am getting questions about it.

Go to my last response in the thread below for the explanation.

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=88983#post88983

Jen

 

[maverick83]

The key words here are "almost primarily male dominated". This means that the men outnumber the women by a decent amount. Take a look at the male-to-female ratio of this forum if you need an example. The fact is, the statement was true. I mean nothing offensive to any of the ladies in here. (Quite the opposite, actually) I am not sexist in any way, and do not believe in masculine or feminine "roles" or definitions about what makes a man a man, or a woman a woman, other than the genitalia. It's just a simple fact: There are more men than women in here.

 

[kurchatovium]

For me it is a very sexual thing, which makes it rather difficult to find someone because she would have to be into tickling at least a little bit.

There are more women registering on the TMF it seems and I hope that trend continues. It increases the odds of us lonely guys finding the right person.

I agree with njjen, I think shipshirt statement that being tickled is as vunerable as a person can be is right on the money. I think this why so many shy away from it or are embarrased by it. Also it is why should you find a tickle partner its probably best I would think to take it slow so as not to scare them off.

 

[njjen3953]

The theory has been confirmed

I just came out of a BDSN chatroom, in which the group it belongs to has just recently started to recognize tickling as a form of play they would like to learn more about. It is amazing to see so many female subs saying to Pete and me, I want to try that.

Anyway, one of the subs, whose Dom has recently started tickling her, said, "I hate to be tickled because it is a total loss of control".

Damn. I just new that was it. Many of the other subs agreed, but they all have started to see the perks. They all want us to do a demo at their next play party and show them and their Doms what it is all about.

Jen

 

[Maria_Rose]

Heyyyy lol...I'm a lesbian tickler. And ticklee, at times *blush*. But you're right, there aren't enough women into this, and there does seem to be a lot more interest in the homosexual (and straight) male community than in the lesbian one. Not sure why, but it does seem to be the case. Maybe women just dont speak up as easily as men do...hmm..well it's something to think on.

 

[tcrewme]

Lately in the chat room...

Lately in the chat room there have been WAY more ladies showing up, both m/f,f/m and f/f interests...

And I have never seen them post in any of the "forum" stuff, I am sure the ladies look but don't touch

So women are out there and very much into tickling, just not responsive in the forum...

 

[Phineas]

I agree with tcrew.

Wheres the lesbian tickling community

they're hanging out in the chat room. Doesn't matter when I go in there, the majority of the women all have f/f tacked onto the end of their names, and it's been like this since I started hanging out here. There's usually a pretty decent amount of women in the chat, but nine times out of ten, the majority of them are lesbians.

So if you can't find the lesbian tickling community, you're looking in the wrong place.

 

[kingofswing]

AHA!

So I was right all along....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA (um, that would be my evil, self righteous laugh) Glad to hear that some BDSM people are starting to give tickling a try. I think it's the most intense form of play there is.

As for Kurch...I wouldn't just limit yourself to women already in the community. I've had fantastic luck with women that never even knew that tickling was a "fetish". It's usually a certain type of personality, but I've found that being open and honest and displaying a passion for it (without coming off as creepy, obsessive) goes miles into getting someone you are dating into it. I just hate to see anyone limit themselves to a certain community, because I really believe that "ticklephiles' can be found anywhere, and some are created by introducing it in a caring way. At least from my humble experiences. There are a good number of lovely ladies in this community (and a lot that I would love to get my wiggly fingers on lol) but the posts are correct...the men far outnumber the women. So don't be afraid to look at the more "vanilla" ladies...they sometimes are a lot more than they seem and just never knew about it!! lol

 

[kingofswing]

lesbian ticklers

Maria,

Do you think that a lot of the people in the chatrooms that have f/f are really men? I've always wondered about that. Is that where the problem meeting women into it lay? I have met a few people online that I had a sneaking suspicion about...

Just curious

 

[kurchatovium]

I found such a lady once, shipshirt, she was so beautiful inside and out, smart and very open minded I am certain she would have accepted my fetish and tried it out a little even. Unfortunately she dumped me and ran off with her auto mechanic and is living happily ever after.

I think at this point I might just adopt evilqueen's philosophy. I am over forty and am just looking for the kinky sex.

 

[DungeonMaster]

Thoughts from a BDSM friend.

A reply I received after showing these threads to a dear bdsm involved friend of mine:
....
lt amazes me when you think l have the answers, my Dear. l know of no prejudices toward it. This as an argument, however, is as ludricrous as a man saying to me that prejudice against women does not exist. He is not exposed to prejudice against women, just as l am not exposed to prejudice against Blacks. When you say that there are attitudes dismissing tickling as an "art form" or "true torture", my first inclination is to argue that statement, but since l am not involved in your avenue, l will just have to take your word for it. l truly have heard of no arguments against it, though.
But why would someone think that way? l don't know. Perhaps it is a dignity issue, as some point out...l am sure that is why l find it particularly aversive, myself. You really can't grit your teeth and bear it, as so many point out. You have very little control over your reaction and so it makes you even more vunerable than one might be willing to be. Being a pisser myself, l just avoid the whole situation at all costs, LOL. You, yourself, have expressed an aversion to being tickled.
Perhaps some think that it doesn't require any skill.....even children can tickle someone ...where as a great deal of time can be involved in learning to use a whip or crop effectively and safely, to tie beautiful and efficient knots, to skillfully pour melted wax at the correct speed and from the proper height, to provide piercings without injury or permanent scar. l am sure that you would argue that skill point as well.
Perhaps some think that tickling doesn't involve pain, and thus isn't proper torture. Even l would argue that. l would much rather be flogged.
Perhaps it is just "new", and some are relunctant to accept change....or some who have been in the lifestyle for a long time do not care to admit there is something with which they are not fully familiar. "l haven't dabbled in that, therefore it can't be significant" sort of thing. You know how pretentious some of those damn Doms can be <rolling eyes>.
l will say that you have always seemed extraordinarily defensive of the subject....even when l offered no criticism. Perhaps some of you guys should just relax, lay back and initiate those of us brave enough (not me, thanks) into your particular brand of torture, and if it is truly as exhiliaratingly devastating and as powerful as you guys insist, then it will catch on like wildfire.
Quit defending and start proving. Many of us have open minds.....but will keep our armpits tightly closed. Thank you very much.

I will share your replies with her also.
DungeonMaster.

 

[njjen3953]

DungeonMaster,
I would like to send you something to share with your friend. Perhaps she will look at it a little differently. I know that the reaction my bdsm friends(Dom/mme and sub) have loved it and are now wanting to experience it themselves.
Please let me know where I can send this.
You can e-mail me if you like at [email protected]

Jen