Anyone else uncomfortable seeing your significant other get tickled?

[ashbabe410]

My boyfriend's friends and brother seem to have a thing for tickling him in front of me. They've done it 3 or 4 times in the last couple of months to the point I almost get anxiety about us being around them.

He's my dominant so it kinda makes me cringe watching him get wrecked. I don't mean a poke to the ribs either. They literally pin him to the floor, hold his arms above his head and tickle the hell out of him until he's screaming and begging them to stop. He always says "baby don't watch" when it's clear that's what they're going to do, but I think me leaving the room every time is making them do it even more bc I'm a cringing, blushing mess every time and desperately looking anywhere except at my big strong man getting tickle wrecked right in front of me.

I know some people love seeing their partner be tickled, but surely I can't be the only one who gets uncomfortable watching her normally dominant, alpha male boyfriend turned into a giggling, begging mess! Anyone else?

 

[WickedTouch]

Yes, but not so much from the standpoint of it feeling like it compromises a power dynamic. We're both switches and are used to seeing each other in both roles. Very few people in the normal social circles of our everyday lives would try to tickle us (and we generally prefer it that way). In the kink world, that is different, as we sometimes meet with others for sessions as a couple. But for those, we do have feelings of jealousy and insecurity that we have to process and manage. People we’ve met with have commented on how relaxed, comfortable, and easy going we are about everything, but honestly a lot of intentional work has gone into us communicating to understand where each of us our with things individually and as a couple, as well as building trust and respect between us. It has not been easy, but it has been worth it.

In everyday life and in maybe 75% of our kink play between us, I am a more dominant energy and she is a more submissive energy. When another woman tickles me in a session, my wife loves it. Obviously there’s a spark of jealousy and uncanniness to the whole thing, but she really gets into the idea, and ultimately enjoys seeing a different angle to my vulnerability. When she is being tickled, I can feel the same way. I can be a little more protective of her when we’re meeting with another couple and the guy is tickling her, but we also exercise a lot of discretion in choosing play partners. With all the pre-work we put into it, we’ve not only gotten fun, safe experiences out of it, but we’ve learned a lot about each other and actually grown even closer by doing it.

I want to emphasize that this is definitely not for everyone and I completely understand and respect those who do not make room for this in their relationships. People and personalities can be wildly different, and therefore each relationship is different. Some people get turned on by their partner getting tickled by someone else, some get repulsed, and others are okay enough with it as long as they get their turn. None of them are wrong.

 

[tickle_prince]

That's a really good answer Wicked,

I think it just depends on the couple, I've not experience it myself so I can't really answer it, I have in the past thought about Ex's being tickled even people I know now, and I am a rather visual ler, so the sound and sight of it can drive me crazy, so from a teasing stand point, I can imagine it and it does excite me at that thought. But I think it just depends on the person your in a relationship with, some people find kink stuff, tickle stuff very personally to them, due to the vulnerable of the act and the control you can have over a person your tickling. So I totally can understand its not everyone cup of tea if you were seeing your partner being tickled in front of you, why you might find it 'cringe' or uncomfortable. I suppose this is a very relevant topic currently you see a lot of people wanting to have their partner tickled in front of them, supporting it, so its nice to read a thread from the other side of that argument, just to see what discussion it might create! so thanks for posting this Ash

 

[ashbabe410]

That's a really good answer Wicked,

I think it just depends on the couple, I've not experience it myself so I can't really answer it, I have in the past thought about Ex's being tickled even people I know now, and I am a rather visual ler, so the sound and sight of it can drive me crazy, so from a teasing stand point, I can imagine it and it does excite me at that thought. But I think it just depends on the person your in a relationship with, some people find kink stuff, tickle stuff very personally to them, due to the vulnerable of the act and the control you can have over a person your tickling. So I totally can understand its not everyone cup of tea if you were seeing your partner being tickled in front of you, why you might find it 'cringe' or uncomfortable. I suppose this is a very relevant topic currently you see a lot of people wanting to have their partner tickled in front of them, supporting it, so its nice to read a thread from the other side of that argument, just to see what discussion it might create! so thanks for posting this Ash

Yes, the vulnerability thing is definitely the issue I think. If they didn't insist on holding him down to do it, it MIGHT not make me so uncomfortable. I don't like him being unable to stop it. The one time I did intervene bc it had been going on for what felt like forever and I was afraid he couldn't breathe bc his face was red and he had gone into that silent laughter and I did NOT want to see him pass out from it. UGH no. But anyway once I intervened and managed to stop them, my boyfriend and I couldn't make eye contact with each other and his friends teased him mercilessly for the rest of the night about me saving him, so I haven't intervened again since and I just go to another room and cover my ears bc I can't stand to hear him scream, lol.

 

[P[a]pi]

If your bf doesn't like it, then he shouldn't allow it. If he knows you don't like it, then he could also not allow it.

If it really bothers you, then you may have to request that he make it stop. For example, stop hanging out with them.

 

[ashbabe410]

If your bf doesn't like it, then he shouldn't allow it. If he knows you don't like it, then he could also not allow it.

If it really bothers you, then you may have to request that he make it stop. For example, stop hanging out with them.

I'm afraid it would seem like an overreaction go stop hanging out with them since they are his lifelong best friends and his brother. As far as him not allowing it, there's not much he can do since there are 3 of them and 1 of him. I'm pretty sure they'd think I was crazy if I made him tell them not to tickle him bc I can't stand watching it, lol. Think about how weird that would sound.

 

[D-Tickler]

I'm afraid it would seem like an overreaction go stop hanging out with them since they are his lifelong best friends and his brother. As far as him not allowing it, there's not much he can do since there are 3 of them and 1 of him. I'm pretty sure they'd think I was crazy if I made him tell them not to tickle him bc I can't stand watching it, lol. Think about how weird that would sound.

I strongly encourage you to speak your real feeling out!
You can just start with expressing your feeling to your BF alone & seriously communicate it with him.
Then, you may gradually suggest whether your BF can at least decrease the frequency of letting his friend to tickle him.

As a very straight guy, I automatically feel strongly disgusted about a guy being gang ticked by several other guys if they're all above 15!
On the other hand, I'd also experienced many situations (not only regarding tickling) that I had little freedom to express my real (negative) feeling to the ppl around me.
For I originally came from an East Asian cultural society, which rigidly emphasises on assimilation to the majority around you.
(Compared to my situation in my old surrounding, I definitely feel that the atmosphere of this site has way more respect on individual tastes, because the atmosphere here is primarily western oriented.)

I'm not sure about what kind of cultural society you're in.
Assuming that you're in a cultural society that is similar to my background, I would still suggest you to speak out your real feeling.
Based on the mainstream modern value, you definitely have the right to defend your own feeling through clearly expressing the things that cause negative feeling to you!

 

[ashbabe410]

I strongly encourage you to speak your real feeling out!
You can just start with expressing your feeling to your BF alone & seriously communicate it with him.
Then, you may gradually suggest whether your BF can at least decrease the frequency of letting his friend to tickle him.

As a very straight guy, I automatically feel strongly disgusted about a guy being gang ticked by several other guys if they're all above 15!
On the other hand, I'd also experienced many situations (not only regarding tickling) that I had little freedom to express my real (negative) feeling to the ppl around me.
For I originally came from an East Asian cultural society, which rigidly emphasises on assimilation to the majority around you.
(Compared to my situation in my old surrounding, I definitely feel that the atmosphere of this site has way more respect on individual tastes, because the atmosphere here is primarily western oriented.)

I'm not sure about what kind of cultural society you're in.
Assuming that you're in a cultural society that is similar to my background, I would still suggest you to speak out your real feeling.
Based on the mainstream modern value, you definitely have the right to defend your own feeling through clearly expressing the things that cause negative feeling to you!

Lol well they are definitely older than 15. They range from 20-25 years old. My boyfriend is a very straight guy too, but this is just something he and his friends do. He only became the main target of it when they realized it makes me blush and leave the room. I don't necessarily feel "disgusted" about it. It's more like...just uncomfortable and embarrassed at his strong reactions to it when he is usually stoic and can resist all kinds of pain and pretty much anything except being tickled like that.

He asked me about it bc he did notice that it made me uncomfortable even though I didn't come out and say it bc it's pretty obvious by my leaving the room and my inability to look at him during or directly after. I was too embarrassed to discuss it even with him even though tickling is something we're both into and something we do in the bedroom. I don't want him to bring it up to his friends really bc I'm pretty sure they'll just do it more and then they'll also tease me mercilessly about it if they know for sure it bothers me and I can't handle being called out on this, lol.

 

[D-Tickler]

Lol well they are definitely older than 15. They range from 20-25 years old. My boyfriend is a very straight guy too, but this is just something he and his friends do. He only became the main target of it when they realized it makes me blush and leave the room. I don't necessarily feel "disgusted" about it. It's more like...just uncomfortable and embarrassed at his strong reactions to it when he is usually stoic and can resist all kinds of pain and pretty much anything except being tickled like that.

He asked me about it bc he did notice that it made me uncomfortable even though I didn't come out and say it bc it's pretty obvious by my leaving the room and my inability to look at him during or directly after. I was too embarrassed to discuss it even with him even though tickling is something we're both into and something we do in the bedroom. I don't want him to bring it up to his friends really bc I'm pretty sure they'll just do it more and then they'll also tease me mercilessly about it if they know for sure it bothers me and I can't handle being called out on this, lol.

I found that tickling can be a rather collectivistic or social thing in many situations, because it can be associated with many individuals' real feelings in the direct or indirect ways.

In the case that all the associated individuals are fine with the processes & consequences of the (possibly rather frequent) tickling events, that woud be fine.
A typical example is this guy's telling about how his wife Kate got frequently tickled by her lesbian friend Sarah:

Thread 'My wife's sports camp stories'

Feb 8, 2024

Whenever I prepare to write some story that happened to Kate, I try to get as much detail as possible from her. That was exactly it this time, too. After the kids had gone to bed, I made Kate and myself a drink. We sat comfortably on the couch and started talking. Because Kate is going to a sports camp again soon, it was a great opportunity to bring up memories of her previous stays. And so during the conversation, we slowly came to the stories related to Sarah that I planned to describe. After I had gently asked everything I wanted, Kate said something that made my jaw drop to the floor...

• ekhm ekhm
• Replies: 37
• Forum: True Tickling Stories

• 
• 

But it's obviously not the case in your current situation.
In your current situation, you're actually one of the closely associated individual in the events of your BF getting tickled.
Also, you've chronically gotten strong negative feeling from these certain events.
That's why it seriously matters for you.
Because of the serious matter on you, you need to try to dissolve it through speaking your feeling out.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

My boyfriend's friends and brother seem to have a thing for tickling him in front of me. They've done it 3 or 4 times in the last couple of months to the point I almost get anxiety about us being around them.

He's my dominant so it kinda makes me cringe watching him get wrecked. I don't mean a poke to the ribs either. They literally pin him to the floor, hold his arms above his head and tickle the hell out of him until he's screaming and begging them to stop. He always says "baby don't watch" when it's clear that's what they're going to do, but I think me leaving the room every time is making them do it even more bc I'm a cringing, blushing mess every time and desperately looking anywhere except at my big strong man getting tickle wrecked right in front of me.

I know some people love seeing their partner be tickled, but surely I can't be the only one who gets uncomfortable watching her normally dominant, alpha male boyfriend turned into a giggling, begging mess! Anyone else?

If you were to reverse the situation what do you imagine your boyfriend’s reaction would be if you were being tickled out of your mind.

Personally I’d be feeling the same way you were feeling if I was be tickled mercilessly

 

[ashbabe410]

If you were to reverse the situation what do you imagine your boyfriend’s reaction would be if you were being tickled out of your mind.

Personally I’d be feeling the same way you were feeling if I was be tickled mercilessly

He wouldn't like it and would be mad. I think he thinks bc it's guys tickling him and not other women that it's not as big a deal. And really I feel like he's right and it shouldn't be a big deal bc it's not like there's anything sexual behind it, so maybe it shouldn't make me so uncomfortable. I'm not sure why it does. Maybe bc they get so intense with it that I almost feel like he needs a dang safe word sometimes with the way he screams and goes on.

In his defense, he tried to talk to me about it after noticing my reaction to seeing it, but I was too embarrassed to have the conversation and I absolutely forbade him to mention it to his friends bc like I said, I feel like it wouldn't stop them and they'd tease me about it which is just too embarrassing to even think about.

 

[D-Tickler]

He wouldn't like it and would be mad. I think he thinks bc it's guys tickling him and not other women that it's not as big a deal. And really I feel like he's right and it shouldn't be a big deal bc it's not like there's anything sexual behind it, so maybe it shouldn't make me so uncomfortable. I'm not sure why it does. Maybe bc they get so intense with it that I almost feel like he needs a dang safe word sometimes with the way he screams and goes on.

In his defense, he tried to talk to me about it after noticing my reaction to seeing it, but I was too embarrassed to have the conversation and I absolutely forbade him to mention it to his friends bc like I said, I feel like it wouldn't stop them and they'd tease me about it which is just too embarrassing to even think about.

I still want to write this strong post, though I'm not 100% if it's really appropriate.
But it's really sth serious for me. Perhaps for you as well.

Since your BF's friends & brother are all above 20, their behaviours of tickling can hardly be interpreted as completely innocent or non-sexual related at all!
According to their current status, they may be not completely straight in their deep psychologies, though they may have never consciously realised that!
From my perspective, if your BF is really a very straight guy, his sexual related psychology should get some sort of infringement by those guys' harsh ticking on him (though he may not have consciously realised it either)!

On the other hand, you've obviously gotten some kind of (psychological) infringement just by witnessing their behaviours.
It's thus sufficiently reasonable for you to protest it!

 

[ashbabe410]

I still want to write this strong post, though I'm not 100% if it's really appropriate.
But it's really sth serious for me. Perhaps for you as well.

Since your BF's friends & brother are all above 20, their behaviours of tickling can hardly be interpreted as completely innocent or non-sexual related at all!
According to their current status, they may be not completely straight in their deep psychologies, though they may have never consciously realised that!
From my perspective, if your BF is really a very straight guy, his sexual related psychology should get some sort of infringement by those guys' harsh ticking on him (though he may not have consciously realised it either)!

On the other hand, you've obviously gotten some kind of (psychological) infringement just by witnessing their behaviours.
It's thus sufficiently reasonable for you to protest it!

Whaaaat?! Oh God are you saying that since he allows it to happen that he likes being tickled by them and that that might mean he's attracted to men?? I really hadn't even considered that and I really wish I wasn't thinking it now lol. Now next time they do it I'm going to be thinking it's for homoerotic reasons and checking him out to see if he's excited I guess! Very much regretting that I even asked this question 😳

 

[outkastman]

My boyfriend's friends and brother seem to have a thing for tickling him in front of me. They've done it 3 or 4 times in the last couple of months to the point I almost get anxiety about us being around them.

He's my dominant so it kinda makes me cringe watching him get wrecked. I don't mean a poke to the ribs either. They literally pin him to the floor, hold his arms above his head and tickle the hell out of him until he's screaming and begging them to stop. He always says "baby don't watch" when it's clear that's what they're going to do, but I think me leaving the room every time is making them do it even more bc I'm a cringing, blushing mess every time and desperately looking anywhere except at my big strong man getting tickle wrecked right in front of me.

I know some people love seeing their partner be tickled, but surely I can't be the only one who gets uncomfortable watching her normally dominant, alpha male boyfriend turned into a giggling, begging mess! Anyone else?

I don’t think it’s weird. I get awkward even hearing the word tickling or if there are cute, bare feet around. Perhaps he feels super awkward and goes into the freeze part of fight or flight. Rather than setting boundaries, he doesn’t feel like dealing with it. Or maybe he wants you to see him being tickled? Remember that it’s not healthy to speculate, I’d ask him directly so you know his true feelings.

 

[Toesheldback]

Is it’s a guy tickling my wife, yeah it’s uncomfortable. If it’s a female, hell no, I encourage it.