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Are you marry or in a long term relationship
- Thread starter lojak
- Start date
maniactickler
Verified
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- Mar 11, 2002
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Single, 40 years. looking for horribly ticklish women. 😱
Was married for 11 years, divorced.
Now I have been engaged for 3 years. We still haven't set a date, and our parents are all ready to kill us cause they want us to make it official already. I got a "Happy Birthday to my favorite daughter-in-law" card from Lazzy's mom on my birthday, as a 'hint hint'...lol
Now I have been engaged for 3 years. We still haven't set a date, and our parents are all ready to kill us cause they want us to make it official already. I got a "Happy Birthday to my favorite daughter-in-law" card from Lazzy's mom on my birthday, as a 'hint hint'...lol
TklDuo-Ann
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- May 21, 2003
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Drew and I have been together for 6 1/2 years...married for 5 of that. 
luvgirlsfeet
Verified
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- Nov 15, 2004
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- 43,457
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Together for 8 years married for 5 years 
marraige
Been together for just under two years, married for a month today! We've both been there and done that before. When with the right person, marraige is a source of joy which can allow us to grow beyond our instinctive humanity to become better people. (And growth is painful as a rule, but when the fruit of one's labor is sweet enough the blood, sweat and tears are worthwhile).
Marry the wrong person, or at the wrong time, etc. and life can be a living nightmare with a stiff price for awakening -especially if you are a man married to a woman. (Make no mistake about it - a marraige certificate is the most binding contract in America - period.) And the emotional and social price usually exceeds the fiscal one which is bad enough - unless you are the legal counsel for one of the parties involved.
In one man's (Professor Tkl) humble opinion, part of the problem lies in that our society invests its time and energy in the wrong endeavors. We are very concerned with our kids wearing the right clothes, listening to the right music, reciting rote useless politically correct factoids and mantras of no real use to them in the world (which makes them often no different than the adults that surround them). Their role models are not those who give their time and effort to bettering society (eg teachers, scientists, peacemakers, etc.) but rather often professional athletes who act like babies in the bodies of grown men, rock stars with the most depraved examples of selfish immorality possible, and actors with an arrogance and selfish lifestyle regarding other people as disposable to rival the rock stars and athletes.
In short, nobody teaches us how to choose a mate wisely; this is ancient wisdom likely in part lost with the "cultural revolution" forty years ago. Then on top of it who teaches us how to have a successful marraige once we have one - especially since greater than 50% of American marraiges fail. Don't get me wrong- that first try at marraige can be an opportunity to learn a great deal, but it is often one in a series of the same mistake over and over saying to oneself "it was all his/her fault". Sure we now have Niel Clark Warren, Dr. Phil, Harville Hendrix and others. But somehow that is only a glimmer of a needed cultural shift. God bless these folks for doing so much to make a difference, but without exactly that -a change in culture the present course of American societal decline wil continue. As a "caveat" of sorts I must specifically say "American" as that is my nation and I cannot really speak of too many others as I have lived in the US my whole life, ergo things may be different in Europe, Asia, South America, etc. and therefore to generalize to other cultures would be presumptive.
When searching for a mate, it is so important to have a well articulated idea of what you are looking for - like written down and referred to. One's standards should be high, after all you are making a one time, lifetime decision, and "investment" so to speak. On top of that there is the wisdom that single and happy first is generally the only way to become married and happy later. Exceptions may happen rarely, but only rarely.
Ergo, perhaps it's like being a farmer: choose the right seed at the right time in the right soil, seek advice from successful farmers and work hard treating your work with care and diligence and you will reap great fruits and a feast to feed both of you and your family forever. Pick the wrong stuff, don't take care of it, be foolish enough to ignore advice from the wise and accomplished and don't be shocked when you are starving with an otherwise barren field full of weeds. I personally consult the almanac. 🙂
Just my $0.02. Best regards to all from a very happily married couple, with best luck and wishes to those in search of the same and congratulations to those who have found it.
Best wishes,
Professor Tkl and Lady Sunset
Been together for just under two years, married for a month today! We've both been there and done that before. When with the right person, marraige is a source of joy which can allow us to grow beyond our instinctive humanity to become better people. (And growth is painful as a rule, but when the fruit of one's labor is sweet enough the blood, sweat and tears are worthwhile).
Marry the wrong person, or at the wrong time, etc. and life can be a living nightmare with a stiff price for awakening -especially if you are a man married to a woman. (Make no mistake about it - a marraige certificate is the most binding contract in America - period.) And the emotional and social price usually exceeds the fiscal one which is bad enough - unless you are the legal counsel for one of the parties involved.
In one man's (Professor Tkl) humble opinion, part of the problem lies in that our society invests its time and energy in the wrong endeavors. We are very concerned with our kids wearing the right clothes, listening to the right music, reciting rote useless politically correct factoids and mantras of no real use to them in the world (which makes them often no different than the adults that surround them). Their role models are not those who give their time and effort to bettering society (eg teachers, scientists, peacemakers, etc.) but rather often professional athletes who act like babies in the bodies of grown men, rock stars with the most depraved examples of selfish immorality possible, and actors with an arrogance and selfish lifestyle regarding other people as disposable to rival the rock stars and athletes.
In short, nobody teaches us how to choose a mate wisely; this is ancient wisdom likely in part lost with the "cultural revolution" forty years ago. Then on top of it who teaches us how to have a successful marraige once we have one - especially since greater than 50% of American marraiges fail. Don't get me wrong- that first try at marraige can be an opportunity to learn a great deal, but it is often one in a series of the same mistake over and over saying to oneself "it was all his/her fault". Sure we now have Niel Clark Warren, Dr. Phil, Harville Hendrix and others. But somehow that is only a glimmer of a needed cultural shift. God bless these folks for doing so much to make a difference, but without exactly that -a change in culture the present course of American societal decline wil continue. As a "caveat" of sorts I must specifically say "American" as that is my nation and I cannot really speak of too many others as I have lived in the US my whole life, ergo things may be different in Europe, Asia, South America, etc. and therefore to generalize to other cultures would be presumptive.
When searching for a mate, it is so important to have a well articulated idea of what you are looking for - like written down and referred to. One's standards should be high, after all you are making a one time, lifetime decision, and "investment" so to speak. On top of that there is the wisdom that single and happy first is generally the only way to become married and happy later. Exceptions may happen rarely, but only rarely.
Ergo, perhaps it's like being a farmer: choose the right seed at the right time in the right soil, seek advice from successful farmers and work hard treating your work with care and diligence and you will reap great fruits and a feast to feed both of you and your family forever. Pick the wrong stuff, don't take care of it, be foolish enough to ignore advice from the wise and accomplished and don't be shocked when you are starving with an otherwise barren field full of weeds. I personally consult the almanac. 🙂
Just my $0.02. Best regards to all from a very happily married couple, with best luck and wishes to those in search of the same and congratulations to those who have found it.
Best wishes,
Professor Tkl and Lady Sunset
Headsnap
1st Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2004
- Messages
- 2,185
- Points
- 0
The hostility marriage receives from some people is amazing. It's not as though being a marriage-type is tantamount to throwing on some jackboots and goose-stepping around throwing bricks at Asians and stuff. Being a frigging Stalinist doesn't draw as much hostility as being a commitment minded person....
To anyone who truly hates marriage I ask you this; if you found the absolute perfect partner and they said they'd love to get married, would you risk sacrificing a perfectly good relationship for the sake of sticking by your guns? If so I'd have a word with a therapist about your self esteem or pig-headedness.
To anyone who truly hates marriage I ask you this; if you found the absolute perfect partner and they said they'd love to get married, would you risk sacrificing a perfectly good relationship for the sake of sticking by your guns? If so I'd have a word with a therapist about your self esteem or pig-headedness.
tklcouple said:
SO DEAD ON!! I couldn't have said it better if I sat for a week and tried to put that into words. My first marriage was a nightmare...I married too young for the wrong reasons to a man who had severe flaws I THOUGHT I could overlook because I loved him. I was WRONG. It was 11 years of pain, misery, loneliness and desperation. Lazzy, too, made the same mistakes I did with a woman who was totally wrong for him and wasted 9 years of his life in the same hell I was existing in. So we both got out of our marriages and believed we could never love again.
Until we met one another. We knew that first weekend together that we had something very few people ever find. We discovered immediately that everything we THOUGHT we knew about love and passion and unity was wrong. We're 3 1/2 years into this now and are still every bit as in love with one another (full fire, passionate, heart pounding love, mind you) as we were when we first met. A marriage to each other for the rest of our lives is our dream come true. We both know we are now where we're supposed to be.
Marriage is completely wonderful when you're truly with the right partner.
TicklishSinner
1st Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2003
- Messages
- 2,150
- Points
- 0
happily married and been that way for just about a year next month i k now thats short but it will be forever
Headsnap said:
meh, that is a good question. I guess i'm just hostile towards the whole idea of marriage and likely will be for a long time. I figure if someone likes me well enough to want to marry me they will also understand if i wanted the bond without the papers... I wouldn't necessarily call that pig-headedness at all, more like being really really careful. I've already had to leave one abusive putz with absolutely nothing to my name but a few changes of clothes, why on earth would i want to run that risk again?
