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As it's MOTHERS DAY: Things momma taught me.....

Illtcklu

3rd Level Blue Feather
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As it's MOTHERS DAY: Things momma taught me.....(joke)

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...

"Just wait until your father gets home."


2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....

"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...

"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...

"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."


5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...

"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."


8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...

"You're just like your father."

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...

"Do you think you were born in a barn?"


11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...

"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And last but not least...

12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"

from my Mom...............

:veryhappy
 
Last edited:
I want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to the mother of Illtcklu and also offer her my sympathy. Come to think of it, I could do the same for the mothers of many of the lovely gents on this board--Oy.
 
bellystrokes said:
I want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to the mother of Illtcklu and also offer her my sympathy. Come to think of it, I could do the same for the mothers of many of the lovely gents on this board--Oy.
Everyone always takes Mom's side!!!!
 
bellystrokes said:
I want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to the mother of Illtcklu and also offer her my sympathy.
I second that. Except I'd replace the sympathy with Prozac. :jester:
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
I second that. Except I'd replace the sympathy with Prozac. :jester:


Better! Much Better. And some mom's, I think, should get double dosage.
 
bellystrokes said:
Including the cops?
They couldn't prove anything..........................................



...............however if you need some remodeling, I know where you can get this great air compressor! :ermm:
 
Hey, I'll take a side!

Illtcklu said:
Everyone always takes Mom's side!!!!
I have this new smokehouse I need to try out. I'll take her side, smoke it and give half back! Which kind of smoking wood do you prefer; hickory or mesquite? :firedevil

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

Join the Non-Sequiter Society! We may not make sense, but we do like pizza! 😛
 
My mommy taught me not to hold a cat while vaccuming a carpet.

Rob
 
Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Take your time... don’t live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and you’ll find love,
And don’t forget son,
There is someone up above.

And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Won’t you do this for me son,
If you can?

Forget your lust for the rich man’s gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

Boy, don’t you worry... you’ll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

Reason this also came to mind was cuz for my graduation from college gift a day ago, she made a frame with these lyrics for me
 
Thank you for sharing, Goodieluver. I love this song. I think it was Gary Rossington who said "Simple Man" defined Lynyrd Skynyrd even more than "Free Bird." ”. Also adding a certain poignancy to me is that Gary was quite close to his widowed mom and named his first guitar after her: Bernice.

I can still remember I was eight years old
The first time that I picked her up little did I know
She’s taken me to places that I’ve never been
Did my first gig in a rock-n-roll band
Berneice, sweet berneice
 
Illtcklu said:
They couldn't prove anything..........................................



...............however if you need some remodeling, I know where you can get this great air compressor! :ermm:


No, but if you run across some piano hammers...................
 
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA! Very funny! I heard a lot of those growing up 🙂 Taught me LOTS!!!!!! :dogpile:
 
bellystrokes said:
No, but if you run across some piano hammers...................
Hmmmmmmm They never found those.................................on me!


Tulipangel said:
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA! Very funny! I heard a lot of those growing up Taught me LOTS!!!!!!

Didn't teach me anything........................ :twohugs:
 
tulipangel said:
I can teach ya a thing or two hehehehe 😉
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yeah!!!!


Quit humppin' my "keg" damn it tee hee hee!

I'm gonna keep humpin' it if you keep flaunting it!!!!!!
 
Illtcklu said:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yeah!!!!


Quit humppin' my "keg" damn it tee hee hee!

I'm gonna keep humpin' it if you keep flaunting it!!!!!!

hump it all you want hot stuff!
 
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