Ask a Leaf!

[goddess_nemesis]

Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head on a tree all day?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

How does Freddy Krueger wipe his butt?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why people are so scared of mice, which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can't you get honey from a plastic bee?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Final question.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

 

[Pokey]

Did you notice that Nemesis loves you a lot today?

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

Have you ever walked straight into a closed door?

 

[texastickler]

Hey buddy! Do you enjoy museums?

 

[leafstk]

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Hey! They've got enough problems with you pickin' on them too LOL

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

They had to dig deep 😛

How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?

He was at the cottage! He got lazy and decided to go down the dock for a beer when it dawned on him

How did a fool and his money get together?

Oh for... Where do you come up with these questions? 😛 😀

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "s" in it?

I dunno, but it's pretty damn funny!

Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

I don't even know where to begin here... so I won't 😛

Would you ever go skydiving?

I'd be pretty freaked out, gotta say But if I had friends to do it with, I might consider it 😀

If you were dying what would you want your last words to be?

"The Leafs didn't win in my lifetime, but they are sure to in yours"

What actor/actress would you pick to play you in a movie?

LOL... Adam Sandler I have no idea, lol 😛

What's your lucky something? (Ex. lucky shirt, ring, etc.)

I don't know if I have anything I consider to be "lucky"... but when the Leafs are in the playoffs, my buds and I have our playoff rituals much like the players themselves do. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't LOL 😀

But of course I have special keepsakes from family friends and travel over the years 🙂

Have you ever cheated in a game?

I don't like cheating if I can help it, but I've needed to go online for hints/cheats for a few games I got stuck on over the years, lol

If you could spend one day with someone alive or dead who would it be with?

Well I'd much rather them be alive, LOL... but all my special TMF friends here for sure

 

[leafstk]

If a guy offered you a million dollars for a night of sex, would you do it?

Absolutely not! I mean no offense to those who would, lol

If you were one of two people left on this earth, and the other was the same sex as you; would you go gay?

See above 😛 I guess we would both have to die fapping ROFL... what kind of question is that?

Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine" on a nude beach?

Haha! Sure you can!

What is the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning?

I hate you, alarm clock!

If Iron Man saves you, exactly how rude is it to stick refrigerator magnets to his back when he isn’t looking?

Bahaha! Well... hopefully he's got some sort of sense of humour cause I would so do that!

Have you ever been camping?

Are you kidding? I love camping! Its all kind of awesome 🙂

Is it Pet's Mart or Pet Smart?

I believe it is Pet Smart over here 😛

What is one thing that annoys you?

Bad driver's... like the one's who clog up the passing lane... noisy eaters also come to mind, lol :nomnomnom:

Do you believe in spontaneous combustion?

No

What is your favorite female name?

I've always thought Alicia is such a pretty name 🙂

What is your favorite male name?

Not having any kids yet, I haven't really thought about it... but I like some traditional names like Robert or William

Would you dress as the opposite sex?

Only if she really wanted me to

Have you ever been hit on by the same sex?

Actually I have, lol 😛 😀 What's with all the gay questions?

Would you have plastic surgery?

For what exactly, hmmm? 😛 😀

You are about to die. What do you do with your worldly possessions?

Isn't that what Will's are for?

 

[leafstk]

What are you most afraid of?

Clowns, howler monkies and political correctness 😛

What do you do most often when you are bored?

Join y'all on the TMF of course!

What are you currently reading?

A multitude of your inane questions! (not a big reader, really)

What would you like to accomplish before you die?

I really want to have kids one day... so to be a good husband and father 🙂

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

Have you ever been to an Italian/Portuguese wedding?

What is the strangest dream you've ever had?

Jet skiing across the bay up north and a clear day... and then being lifted off the water, soaring high above the lake/forrest... and then waking up in a panic 😱

If you could be born again, would choose to be a different sex to what you are?

Why would I want to do that? Would you?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

I'm going to defer this question to Kered 😀

Name three qualities that attracts you to a woman?

Sincerity, sense of humour and adventurous spirit

Which is your 'most recent' favorite song?

Lady Writer - Dire Straits... no idea why

If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?

OUT... it's not a homer if the entire ball doesn't leave the field

Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

I would hope so?

Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

No, cause I've had the same one before, lol

Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?

NO.... don't try it 😉

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Sounds like a full course meal to me!

 

[leafstk]

If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?

It's gonna be you if I ever get my hands on you, LOL!

Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?

Wow... both probably?

Do you like spending more time alone or more time around people?

Good balance of both... I love being among friends, but I like solitude now and again too 🙂

What's a subject you wish you knew more about?

Marine Biology

What's the biggest personal change you've ever made?

Accepting myself for who I am and realizing I don't have to live up to anyone else's standards if they can't accept that

What's the longest you've gone without sleep?

Probably not more than 24 hours... and honestly I don't know how I was still standing afterwards Actually, I posted a good story about that in one of Deadly's threads *hits head on log*

Would you make a sex tape with you in it for a million dollars?

Umm... hell no 😛 Tickling clip, sure thing

If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?

Moonshine

Oh the question spam! 😀

Hmm...if you could be a hockey player for a day, who would it be?

Amanda! So good to see you here!

Wow... all-time? I would say Wendal Clark... he could smash em up and score a clutch goal better than anyone in his prime 😀 Today? Ovie... that dude has way too much fun out there I tell ya

If you could take a one month trip anywhere and money was not a consideration, where would you go?

Easy... Down Under! *Get those Quirk-ville hoodies ready! 😀* Would also love to see Fiji, New Zealand, Japan and Greece

If you were guaranteed honest responses to three questions, whom would you question and what would you ask?

Huh? What? I don't have an answer, but if I did I'm sure I wouldn't disclose that on here, lol

Well this will be my final question for today. I still have many more to bomb you and Carsomyr with, but I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn so I'll finish it later. 😛

If you could hear anyone in history give a speech, whom would you hear?

What is the meaning of this! Haha... well done, Goddess... well done indeed!

I would have loved to have heard an inspirational speech from Julius Caesar, Mark Antony or Brutus 😀 (rent the ROME series if you haven't seen it)

It would appear my good friend that our fair goddess is on a question spree today! Who won the game?

Leafs blew it again, my friend 🙁 But you know this, lol... and our Goddess should now be sleeping with one eye open!

Why haven't the Leafs won the cup since what 67?...Went to the old Gardens a few times but not the new one, yet... Was there the night Wendell Clark made his return... I am a Hockey freak from NY!

Dude... it's a paradox for the ages 🙁 Glad to hear from you, mate! 😀 Hockey freaks are always welcome around here Truth be told, I miss the old Gardens... the ACC is nice, but it's just not the same... miss the nostalgia from walking into the building, ya now? 😀

How would one go about getting rid of a feeling like they were useless and didnt matter for shit?

Dude... I hope you're not feeling like this 🙁 My advice is to talk to your friends and those you trust.... feelings like that shouldn't be bottled up or it can lead to greater issues. My PM box is always open too.

But other than that, I would start to focus on what matters to you and the people who do... surround yourself with positive energy 🙂

 

[leafstk]

If you could make any fictional character come to life, which would it be?

Our Octo-Keg waitress at the HOG! Beer and tickles... what could be better?

Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?

They are? 😱 Beats the hell outta me!

If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?

Yes, I believe they still do LOL 😀

Do bald people get dandruff?

Perhaps if they have a bad sunburn? 😱

Can bald men get lice?

Ugh... I have no idea, but that's nasty! 😛

Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?

Hmmm... I have yet to notice such a phenomenon 😉

How come cats butts go up when you pet them?

Dog's do it too, believe it not

Why is it OK for dudes to slap other dudes' asses in football, but not in any other situation?

You obviously haven't met my friends, LOL

At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his ass?

Huh?? I'm hoping they discovered leaves in the absence of toilet paper at an early stage? 😛

Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head on a tree all day?

Good question....

Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

I'm quite certain that they don't, lol... that's so mean!

 

[leafstk]

If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?

Actually, it might spontaneously combust in such a situation!

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

I won't say it

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?

Gotta give the lil' ones a sense of adventure from an early stage!

How does Freddy Krueger wipe his butt?

Is it me, or are you really obsessed with butts?

Why people are so scared of mice, which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?

I met him once.... fine fella he is! 😀 Never understood what makes a mouse so scary, lol

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

To see if you're paying attention 😉

Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can't you get honey from a plastic bee?

Okay... I totally don't get this question, lol.. plastic bears?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

Yes, I believe there is! There's always a loophole somewhere

When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

Or hard as a rock?

Final question.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Good question... and gang/mob murders are called executions, go figure

Well done, Nem... well done LOL, jokes! That was a bomb and a half... beware, I've got my eye on you!

Did you notice that Nemesis loves you a lot today?

Yes, feeling the love, lol

Have you ever walked straight into a closed door?

How did you know?! Not a pretty sight I tell ya! The patio door windows had just been cleaned one time and I hit it head on! That bloody hurt, I tell ya! 😀 (but it was hilarious, I had to laugh at myself too, lol)

Hey buddy! Do you enjoy museums?

Hey Tex! Hope you're havin' a good weekend 😀 I haven't been to the ROM Museum in Toronto for years... but I do find some of the exhibits very interesting 😀 Of course as a kid, I always loved the dinosaur section, LOL

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Okay... I totally don't get this question, lol.. plastic bears?

Like this:

Why doesn't honey come in plastic bees? 😕

 

[leafstk]

Hmmm... good question! 😀 Maybe we should go into business and kick the plastic bear's ass!

 

[Carsomyr]

Do you feel that your thread has been sufficiently bombed? 😛

 

[Angel77]

Hiya leafy!

Having a good weekend?