Ask C.A.B.

[C.A.B.]

Here, oh befuddled ones, ask your mortal burning questions and C.A.B. will tickle the feet of the three fates to divine an answer...

...but be warned, it may not be the answer you expect, but an answer all the same.



​

 

[William_the_Ler]

How did you get good at so many different styles?

 

[C.A.B.]

How did you get good at so many different styles?

A subscription to Esquire and Bondage Rogue Gazette. I also highly recommend "Dressing the Man: Mastering the Art of Permanent Fashion" by Alan Flusser

 

[William_the_Ler]

we know you dont now, but will you ever do comissions?

 

[C.A.B.]

we know you dont now, but will you ever do comissions?

My rate of compensation would be such that, if you had to ask, you couldn't afford it.

 

[Bugman]

Why do birds suddenly appear?

 

[C.A.B.]

Why do birds suddenly appear?

They only appear when I am near. And rightfully so, because I've moon-dust sprinkled in my hair-of-gold and starlight in my eyes of blue.

* GONG!

 

[General Zod]

What is your take on celery?

 

[C.A.B.]

What is your take on celery?

It is much preferable to being paid by the hour and punching a clock.

 

[Bugman]

They only appear when I am near. And rightfully so, because I've moon-dust sprinkled in my hair-of-gold and starlight in my eyes of blue.

You sir, have answered a question that has puzzled me for decades.

If houseflies did not have wings would they be called walks?

 

[C.A.B.]

You sir, have answered a question that has puzzled me for decades.

If houseflies did not have wings would they be called walks?

No they would be addressed by the colloquialism, "I-GOT-CHOO-Y'liitle-muthafucka-get-up-in-my-food-with-yo-nasty-ass-germs-showed-you-bitch"

 

[kurchatovium]

Is Justin Bieber the AntiChrist?

 

[C.A.B.]

Is Justin Bieber the AntiChrist?

Not quite, but sure to get a consolation prize in the Apocalypse. It was his hair do that blew it for him in the finals.

 

[TJDoom]

Will Baconnaise make an appearance in your works?

 

[C.A.B.]

Will Baconnaise make an appearance in your works?

That's is a very timely question, TJ, as we are developing a condiment story arc that will span several issues of Tales of the Desperate which will feature Marie's Blue Cheese Dressing prominently in the tickle torture saga. The villainous brothers, Béchamel and Béarnaise will also cameo. It might be interesting to note that Dijonaise was let go from the project as he is back in rehab. So, we have considered another open casting call, and of course we could always use the sponsorship of the fine folks at the Bacon Producer Council of America.

 

[Bohemianne]

What would be the perfect question for someone like yooo? >>> 😀

 

[C.A.B.]

What would be the perfect question for someone like yooo? >>> 😀

"Where do I send you this check?"

 

[Bohemianne]

It is much preferable to being paid by the hour and punching a clock.

He said celery, not salary, LOL! Do you think you need this "check" badly for the sake of pun?

 

[C.A.B.]

Do you think you need this "check" badly for the sake of pun?

Reply hazy, try again.

 

[Bohemianne]

What is your view regarding Dadaism?

 

[Dussicar]

Why do I have a can of peaches on my computer desk?

 

[Bugman]

If train A leaves Los Angeles at 6 am traveling east at 65 mph and train B leaves Chicago at 8 am traveling west at the same speed what time is it in Reykjavik?

 

[C.A.B.]

What is your view regarding Dadaism?

I find it remarkably congruent with Mamaism.

 

[C.A.B.]

Why do I have a can of peaches on my computer desk?

They provide an avatar for your real-world, studious mind to cling to.

 

[C.A.B.]

If train A leaves Los Angeles at 6 am traveling east at 65 mph and train B leaves Chicago at 8 am traveling west at the same speed what time is it in Reykjavik?

Time to invest in a serious Parka and Magma Insurance.