Being Single...

[Red_Feather]

Does anyone else here get tired of the single life?

This isn't meant to be a 'oh woe is me, I'm a nice guy that never gets a girl thread'. Luckily I've grown out of that stage after a lot of hard work. I no longer try so hard to get a relationship, as I now know that pushing too hard just makes girls pull away. My circle of friends is also steadily increasing as time goed on.

But still, I sometimes get disheartened when all the hard work doesn't seem to pay off...

Something of a random thread, feel free to discuss at your leisure. 😛

 

[ChosenofMystra]

Some days I enjoy it immensely; more often than not, it can be rather lonely. It would be nice to find someone to go through life with you, share in your experiances as you share in theirs....

I suppose that will change as time goes on though.

 

[maniactickler]

I love the single life. i value my freedom more than anything. ill admit at times, i get this urge to have a steady girl, but that passes fairly quickly.

 

[pgt1400]

Now that I am older I can appreciate companionship alot more than when I was younger. I miss sharing with that special someone and with my fetish it makes it even more difficult. I really appreciated being at NEST this weekend and being with nice ppl. Something I do not have in my life. I look forward to hearing from friends on here.

 

[Doubledutch]

I hate being alone. Nothing worse than loneliness, and loneliness can shorten your lifespan. This is really true.

I'd rather be with someone. I've been lonely, and it sucks.

 

[indivision]

Sometimes I like being single, and sometimes I despise it. I tend to go through phases. Sometimes, I think the idea of being a lifelong bachelor sounds appealing. I don't feel that way very much anymore. I mean, I used to feel that way when I would overhear women getting together and verbally bashing the crap out of their husbands/boyfriends. I hate to sound thin-skinned, but I don't want to dedicate my life to a woman only to have her say stuff like that either to me or about me. Fortunately, as I have grown a little wiser, I have realized that the women who do that are pure trash (sorry for the abruptness, but there's no other way to say that), and that the intelligent, rational women don't do things like that.

These days, I am kind of moving out of the whole "I like being single" phase. I want to find someone to spend my life with, someone to just be there to talk to, do things with, and so on. I have sort of a long distance relationship going on with a college friend of mine who is now attending graduate school in TN. We got together and did some stuff together a couple of months ago, and I'm hoping we can do it again. I would really like something to come of it, because she is pretty much everything that I value in a significant other, and she isn't put off by my eccentricity (actually kind of values it). I guess I'll just have to wait and see how it all blows over.

Also, the single life can really get old when you're surrounded by happy couples (or seem like you are). It's like there's love for everyone and not for you. And if you try to vent about it to anyone, people just make you feel like you're being the silliest person in the world---and then they turn around and wonder why I'm an introvert who doesn't talk much.

 

[unclebill]

I`ve been divorced for several years, and enjoy single life very much. I am currently dating a couple different ladies and life is good. But I have to be honest, when I am not dating anyone during the holidays it can be very depressing. A helpful tip for all you bachelors who break up with your girlfriend before Christmas, is to refrain from asking any new ladies out until February 15th. Between Christmas, New Years Eve and Valentines Day you can save a bundle and spend the extra money on tools or something for your car.

 

[kis123]

I have no intentions on EVER marrying again! It was the worst 10 years of my life! I enjoy living single and can't wait for my daughter to move out so I can really live life as a single woman who can do whatever she wants in her own home!! If I don't want to cook, I don't have to; if I don't want to cow-towel to his world while mine goes unattended. I don't have to account for my schedule, friends, or choices I make. It is a wonderful world; the kids are grown and in college and I'm working on Grad School (something I couldn't do if I remained married to him).

Yes, it gets lonely sometimes and I have a couple of "friends" I can hang out with to feel better. But I simply love living alone! Nothing better than coming home to my cat every night ! I may change my mind later, but for now, my world is a happy place without the relationship drama.

 

[gigglegal76]

It sometimes suck being single but I am starting to love it once again. But on the other hand it would be nice to have that special someone in my life again. Next time I get into a relationship they have to love the tickling life as much as I do. Until then, I'm living the single life to the fullest!

 

[Goodieluver]

You get used to it and its cheaper to just spend money on yourself

My family name will be continued thru 1 male cousin and 2 nephews so i have no rush to do anything

 

[Riven]

You save a HELL of alot of money. I figure, I'll stay single until I've bought all the "toys" I want. Then I'll seek companionship. For now, sex will do.

 

[Sultrybrunette]

I will probably enjoy being single more after my kids are grown and gone. Its very difficult raising kids on your own and not having anyone to back you up or to be there for comfort when things are stressful. Unfortunately, I don't have friends that I can hang out with so it gets lonely at times. I also miss having someone late at night to cuddle and talk with before I go to sleep. It gets more difficult as you get older too. I don't like the idea of growing old alone. Having said that, I definitely will not be rushing into anything. I have definitely learned my lessons and know what I am looking for. Now its just finding that one special person.

 

[Azrael]

Being single has its advantages. I miss the companionship, though. After NEST (I got more 'ler-ing in over the past weekend than I have in the past three or four years, I think) there's really no doubt as to what I've been missing. It isn't so much anything physical as having someone there in the intellectual, emotional, supportive, support-needing sense of things.

 

[lespieds]

I hate being alone. Nothing worse than loneliness, and loneliness can shorten your lifespan. This is really true.

I'd rather be with someone. I've been lonely, and it sucks.

Single men do not live as long as married men, but married men are more ready to die when the time comes.

Shoot I say enjoy the single life. The grass always looks greener on the other side.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

I have no intentions on EVER marrying again! It was the worst 10 years of my life! I enjoy living single and can't wait for my daughter to move out so I can really live life as a single woman who can do whatever she wants in her own home!! If I don't want to cook, I don't have to; if I don't want to cow-towel to his world while mine goes unattended. I don't have to account for my schedule, friends, or choices I make. It is a wonderful world; the kids are grown and in college and I'm working on Grad School (something I couldn't do if I remained married to him).

My wife does not, nor has ever, kow-towed to my world. Nor I to hers. She is under no obligation to cook. Most of the time, she's working when I get home, I'm happy to make my own meals. Sometimes, when we're together on the weekends, I make dinner for us, or she does. We are not each other's doormat. Indentured servant. Slave. Whatever you want to call it.

You too can have a healthy relationship with a man. If you want one.

 

[kis123]

My wife does not, nor has ever, kow-towed to my world. Nor I to hers. She is under no obligation to cook. Most of the time, she's working when I get home, I'm happy to make my own meals. Sometimes, when we're together on the weekends, I make dinner for us, or she does. We are not each other's doormat. Indentured servant. Slave. Whatever you want to call it.

You too can have a healthy relationship with a man. If you want one.

Good for you and your wife; unfortunately, I haven't the stomach for marriage. It was little more than indentured servitude and I have no desire for it again. No second-time-arounds here; I might go with a long-term living relationship but he'd have to be something special to share that part of my life with.

During my dating/married life I have encountered five types of men: beaters, cheaters, users, abusers, and just plain old losers! Maybe it's me, but that's who I seem to attract. I'm better off by myself achieving goals and dreams on my own without some insecure SOB getting jealous and trying to bring me down instead of raising himself to my plane. If you knew what I've had to endure, you'd wonder how I've survived! I choose not to stay in that place but also choose to NEVER be in that place again!

Right now, I'm very happy to come home to my cat; if I need to be with someone, I have "friends" who I can hang out with. I don't want anyone that close to me right now or possibly not ever until I can figure out why that's all I seem to attract. It's got to be something I'm doing wrong, right? In the meantime, I'm studying for my Masters, working on getting a better job, and finding a tenant for my upstairs unit. I never would've dreamed I'd get to this point; eight years ago, me and my kids lived on my sister's 2nd floor and that was a complete nightmare, believe me!! I'm doing okay for now and I did it without some man in my life telling me he "made" me or telling me I'd never make it without him. I'm putting my daughter through college too; I'm not doing so badly, huh?

 

[kis123]

I don't mind being single really. For a couple of reasons. I go on dates on a regular basis. The relationships I've been in have mainly been based on a REAL connection that is known almost immediately so until I find that again I'm content with just being me. I enjoy time alone, I adore my friends and I love my job. That's enough for me to be happy forever if need be.

Another reason is that I've been in a bad relationship that I ended up staying in because I was so scared of being on my own. Once I got out of it I know that choosing between this life and the life of being with someone who made me feel worthless... well, it's a no brainer.

Sure, I'd love to find my "soul mate". But I'm never going to be that girl who HAS to have someone.

You've come a long way lady, and you're still young enough to enjoy it. I'm awfully proud of you. You'd be a great catch for the man who deserves you; don't settle for anything less than the best for you!

 

[kis123]

a bit random, but I must say, I had an ex gf. who fit in 4 out of 5 of your categories. they are: user, abuser, loser, and cheater. So I understand your feelings about not wanting to jump back into a relationship any time soon, I'm in that same boat.

I don't see anything random about my post, but since perception is subjective, you must see (or not) something differently. I described five kinds of men I've had unfortunate experiences with; I feel it's just as much my responsibility as it is their fault. I've grown long past the blame game; I gave them license to mistreat me by staying in the relationships hoping they'd see my self-imposed martyrdom and they'd change. I learned the hard way what the definitiion of insanity meant: doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result!! I just dropped out of the dating game for several years and concentrated on myself for a change. Taking care of others is sometimes a smokescreen excuse for not taking care of yourself.

I feel a lot better about myself now on the inside; It's time to make some serious changes on my outsides. I have to muster the courage to start over and go back to the drawing board as far as my weight is concerned. But whenever I go through that process again, it'll be about me, not what some man wants me to do to make him look good and feel better about himself. It's all one self-improvement package, IMO; going back to school, finding another job, getting a tenant in my 2-family, and a whole lot of self-awareness and soul searching have already taken place. I have nowhere to go but up!

 

[gigglegal76]

That's all who I seem to attract also! Sometimes I wonder what's the matter with me, I can do better! I was very self concious about myself on the outside and that's why I only attracted those type of men. But then I come to realize that it wasn't me. If a guy can't accept who I am then it's their loss. I just got out of a bad relationship and it's taken me sometime to get out of the rut but I'm making it. At this point I do feel that I am far better off without a guy in my life.

During my dating/married life I have encountered five types of men: beaters, cheaters, users, abusers, and just plain old losers!

 

[kis123]

That's all who I seem to attract also! Sometimes I wonder what's the matter with me, I can do better! I was very self concious about myself on the outside and that's why I only attracted those type of men. But then I come to realize that it wasn't me. If a guy can't accept who I am then it's their loss. I just got out of a bad relationship and it's taken me sometime to get out of the rut but I'm making it. At this point I do feel that I am far better off without a guy in my life.

I know you didn't ask for my advice, but since I'm so good at helping others..... 😀

The good news is you're out of that mess; take some time to heal and soul search. You're right-there's a message you're sending to attract these clowns! When you find out what it is, simply stop it! Also learn what I call the "if only" factor; if you find yourself starting sentences about your SO with "if only", and it's a behavior or attitude you despise, run like hell because it's highly unlikely that it'll change! Never expect a man to change, either love him EXACTLY the way he is or leave him to find someone else who will.

Take some time to get to know yourself and what you really want out of life. Sometimes we can't do that with a man in our lives; especially those who don't appreciate and respect you. They just suck the life out of your spirit and bleed your soul dry. Get by yourself for awhile and do what you have to do to improve yourself. You can't control how people treat you, you can only control your reaction/response to it.

Be encouraged; you're worthy and worth it baby! Don't let your self-image or body image cloud your judgement; you are a fine catch for the right man. Sometimes it just takes us bigger gals a little more searching for that special someone. He's out there waiting and looking for you sista'; he'll eventually find you and you'll be happier than you've ever been.

 

[Saeria]

I look forward to being single, honestly. I'm starting to think i'm simply not suited for marriage anyway (but then again, it's hard to say due to the experiences i've had.) I'm not looking forward to the loneliness though, i've been lonely but married for a while now. I suppose it's time to find myself one of them there special friends haha.

 

[Red_Feather]

Wow, some good thoughts here...

I can see why some people are saying that they'd prefer being single, especially if they've had troubled relationships in the past. However, it seems as if those who are happy being single are either still having 'fun' with others outside of a serious relationship or have come out of abusive, negative or just plain bad relationships.

In my case, random fun is pretty much out the window, and I've never really been in a serious relationship. I wonder if this gives me a skewed viewpoint on relationships.

I suppose that sometimes I just get tired of being essentially 'on my own'. It's just me, my relations and my few close friends. I'd like to have someone to share a more intimate relationship with...

 

[chickles_:)]

Does anyone else here get tired of the single life?

This isn't meant to be a 'oh woe is me, I'm a nice guy that never gets a girl thread'. Luckily I've grown out of that stage after a lot of hard work. I no longer try so hard to get a relationship, as I now know that pushing too hard just makes girls pull away. My circle of friends is also steadily increasing as time goed on.

But still, I sometimes get disheartened when all the hard work doesn't seem to pay off...

Something of a random thread, feel free to discuss at your leisure. 😛

Hiya all!!
Okay there is only one thing worse than being single... being together with the wrong person.
I didn't use to think so but - well then i was Long story short i realised that being attached to a dangerous person could actually ruin your life - literally!
But!! On the other hand,, the single life has nothing on the joy of having the right guy there to stand beside you, talk with you, share experiences with you, cuddle you, support you, take out the trash for you, tell you that you're beautiful - even when you know you're not, to kiss and massage and tickle you when you least expect it and most need it.

I remember a story from the Thirty Years War (1618-1648) about one of the many German towns that were constantly being besieged. The siege-laying commander however had a heart and so wishing to give quarter he offered terms of surrender. He told the women they could go free with whatever they could carry on their backs. The story goes that the women took the enemy commander literally and left, each one carrying her man.

I can so relate to that story!! Not to knock the single life, cuz it really can be fun and totally fulfilling - but I would give it all up if it meant I could keep my guy!

Many blessings,
Chickles

 

[kis123]

My wife does not, nor has ever, kow-towed to my world. Nor I to hers. She is under no obligation to cook. Most of the time, she's working when I get home, I'm happy to make my own meals. Sometimes, when we're together on the weekends, I make dinner for us, or she does. We are not each other's doormat. Indentured servant. Slave. Whatever you want to call it.

You too can have a healthy relationship with a man. If you want one.

Check your PM box...

 

[ViperGTS]

Being single...

...isn't a bad thing, nor is it a good thing. It all depends on where you are with your life.

For instance: IrishGirl5 and I have decided that we are at a point where we would prefer to be apart from each other right now. Does that mean we prefer to be single always? No. We just decided that we weren't right for each other and that we want to 'play the field' for a little while, so to speak.

Being single means you've less obligations. You don't have to call anyone every day, you don't have to spend money on someone else if you don't want to, and you can date around, tickle, and nail as many people as you like (with safety in mind, of course). On the other hand, being single means you are likely missing out on the companionship that being in a couple offers; the love that being devoted to someone else can bring. Being in a couple, however, can be boring to some people over time.

So, there is no right way or wrong way. granted, going from single to in a relationship can be tricky at times, but neither is bad or good for the most part.