Very true, actually...
First: My apologies to the mods or anyone who regards this discourse as thread-hijacking, let me know if this should have it's own thread.
Now then:
"bella, if you had read all of what I had written, instead of zeroing in on just one of many paragraphs in my long original post, you would know that I dislike women of ALL colors painting their nails. Haven't heard from any white women calling me racist yet."
I did indeed read your entire post, Stephen. My response only concerned the aspects that offended me personally, I'll let the trailer park residents and others you may have slighted defend themselves, though frankly I did find those statements needlessly deragatory.
No white women have called you racist because you didn't specifically NAME white women, but you DID name BLACK women. You suggested that *black* women with painted nails have no racial pride. THAT'S A RACIST COMMENT, Stephen, even if you didn't mean it that way. I realize that you mentioned all women earlier in the post; if you'd left it at that we wouldn't be having this conversation.
And once again, I'd honestly like to know how you drew that conclusion-you've yet to answer me on that. I've been black for years now, and the sense of love and history I have for my people has nothing to do with my pedicure. Really, how do you connect toenail shade to my sense of heritage?
"The confrontations with black women with expensive nail jobs usually goes like this: They ask me what I think of their nails. When I tell them the truth, they call me a racist. Golly, and I always thought a racist was someone who thought race determined a person's personality. I thought white racists believed minorities should not have equal opportunity in jobs, housing, schooling and voting rights etc. Little did I know disliking long, garishly painted nails made a guy a racist."
For the record, I dislike the superlong and oddly colored nails myself, I really do understand your point of view. Your statements only become racist *when you attribute traits to race*. Personality, appearance, etc. Frankly, I have to wonder what you said in these 'confrontations'. If you merely told these women that you disliked their nails, that's not racial as race simply wasn't mentioned. But if you said that Black women shouldn't wear them, that's a problem. If you told me you hated my shoes, I'd be annoyed but not racially insulted. If you said Black women shouldn't wear those shoes...do you see my point?
Let me say this as clearly as I can-your dislike of something doesn't make you a racist, Stephen. Saying Black women-or Caucasian or Latina or what have you-is what makes your comments racist and hurtful. As you've said yourself, ALL women wear these items. Therefore, race has no place in the conversation. LEAVE RACE OUT OF IT, and you're fine.
"And the expression "ghetto fabulous" is theirs, not mine. I don't think any of my heroes -- Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, W.E.B. DuBois, A. Phillip Randolph, Paul Robeson, Thurgood Marshall -- would find anything fabulous about a ghetto."
While I personally don't care for the fashions of which you speak, I understand them as a source of pride and pleasure for those who live in the areas from which the style emerged, much like ethnic foods and various styles of music. Furthermore, I suspect that the varied group of black leaders you listed might be very pleased with their people taking pride in their appearance, and having the initiative to design their own original style-even if they found the style odd. That's pure speculation on my part, however, as I never knew those people. It's wrong to assume how a group of people thinks if you don't know them, in my opinion.
"So, bella, tell me why you like painting your nails. If you do it to make yourself attractive to men, don't waste your time and money. If you're doing it to impress your women friends, that's a female thing and I wouldn't understand. I will still stand behind my assertion that most men prefer the "less is more" attitude."
To clarify one last time: my issue was never with your feelings regarding nails and 'paint'. As I've said, I find your 'less is more' attitude commendable and refreshing, good for you! But as to your other comments: I use makeup and nail polish for all kinds of reasons. I like subtly coordinating the colors of my clothing with my nails, eyes and lips. I enjoy the ritual as part of going out for a special evening (I rarely wear makeup during the week). I love the various colors and shades, and discovering what I like and don't like-it's fun, and even if you don't care for it you must admit that there's an art to it; it takes skill to do correctly. As for attracting the opposite sex...let's just say it's never been a problem 😉
Having said that, in my 4 + years as part of the tickling and BDSM communities I've met many, MANY gentlemen who love feet and toes, and they delight in the various colors ladies wear-I'll even ask friends which color they'd like before a party. Seeing the pleasure on a friend's face when he realizes I'm wearing the color he chose is very cool, and I'd be a liar if I denied loving the attention. Perhaps you're correct and most men don't care for it, but my friends do, and they're the ones I care about 🙂.
Bella
