Breaking Up - Need Some Help

[dstrbd]

Hi all, I know I don't post here that often, but I could really use some help right now.

My GF of a year and a half left me 3 days ago (we've been living together for 2 months). For the first year all we talked about is how we had found the one in each other, and how much we both wanted a future together. Over the last few months, we were going through a rough patch, and she decided that even if we fixed things, it still wasn't worth it to her anymore. And so she's gone. i came back home yesterday after a weekend with my parents convalescing to find her there readying for a move halfway across the country. The only communication we have anymore is trying to figure out our way out of the lease, so that i can move back into my aunt and uncle's house (they live about 20 mins. from my campus).

One of the biggest things I'm having problems with (besides the heartbreak and sadness it didn't work) is the sexual aspect of it. I'm a foot/tickling guy, and it's to the degree where I get very little satisfaction from regular sex. But she was absolutely amazing about it. We would have sex until she was completely satisfied, and then she would let me tickle her feet, and then she would manually stimulate me while letting me stare at her feet, and even tell me made-up stories of her being tickled while she was going at it. She even let me shoot a couple videos with my laptop for when she moved for the summer. She never had a problem with it, and embraced it because she knew it was part of me.

I know that there are a lot of fish in the sea, and I know that in time I'll meet someone again, but what should I do about my fetishes? I can't guarantee that the next girl I meet will be just as open about my kinks, and at this point in time I can honestly say that no matter how amazing the girl is, if she can't handle having her feet tickled on a regular basis, I can't be with her.

Should I wait for one that is open to it? Or should I go about trying to get rid of this on the chance that I may throw the right girl away because I'm not vanilla?

Thanks for listening. Needing a support group right now.

-Jarrod.

 

[Avenger314]

Ouch, sorry to hear that, amigo. It always sucks when a long-term relationship ends.

I'd say don't try to think of 'getting rid' of your tickling fetish. You might stop indulging the activity itself, but you can't get rid of your desire for it. Better to embrace it.

The ideal situation is to date a fellow ticklephile, but that tends to happen rarely. Your chances of success tend to be a bit higher of dating a 'vanilla' girl and seeing if she's open to being tickled. If she is, then you may be able to convert her to ticklephilia in the fulness of time.

If not, then you have a decision to make. Opinions vary. Some would say that tickling is only a small part of a relationship and that you shouldn't cast aside a perfectly good relationship for lack of tickling. Others would say that since tickling is an integral part of you, entering in a relationship where no tickling would exist would be a poor idea since it would limit your horizons for happiness quite a bit. I personally am in the second camp, but I have no idea if I'm in the majority or not.

Hang in there, good sir. I hope you feel better soon. For now, my advice would be to sort of try to regain your equilibrium. Don't hit the dating scene right away, spend some time regaining your sense of self.

 

[Speedbump]

If not, then you have a decision to make. Opinions vary. Some would say that tickling is only a small part of a relationship and that you shouldn't cast aside a perfectly good relationship for lack of tickling. Others would say that since tickling is an integral part of you, entering in a relationship where no tickling would exist would be a poor idea since it would limit your horizons for happiness quite a bit. I personally am in the second camp, but I have no idea if I'm in the majority or not.

I am also in the second camp. Nothing would be more frustrating than having a girl who absolutely will not explore tickling at all. Constantly wanting to do it, but always having to subdue your urges - seems like a very unhappy time to me.

Not sure how some people out there do it.

 

[rhiannon]

I would say your situation is much tougher than for most other people on here since you hardly can get any satisfaction from regular sex. It is going to be very hard to find a partner for that again. Even I, being into tickling verz much, would not want to have a guy who NEEDS to perform his fetish in order to be satisfied.

It is impossible to get rid of a fetish, but it is possible to 'learn' being satisfied from regular sex. If you realize that you are suffering from your situation, it is time to find professional help. Remember, girls who like to be tickled are few and far between!

 

[dstrbd]

Well, in the same breath, she wasn't one that necessarily "liked" being tickled. She said she didn't mind it, but it definitely wasn't going to do anything for her.

She was vanilla by conventional standards, but she was open to what I liked and needed. Eventually the relationship evolved, to where she was indulging in my fetish during coitus to help me reach release.

I'm not suffering from the situation, per se. I love tickling. I love feet. I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm just aware that my fetishes are more inter-connected to sexual release than most people here, and it worries me that I just lost the only person so far that has been been so willing to mesh my needs into the physical aspect of our relationship. I hope that I will be able to find someone like that again.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Don't have romantic relations with women. Be friends with the ones you have things in common with and go to escorts for you sexual needs. Love is fleeting, but friendships last forever.

 

[Luv2tickleher]

get out there and start dating, I tell girls early on about my foot thing and if they can't handle it or are not willing to try it. On to the next one.

 

[TKL_Rebel]

get out there and start dating, I tell girls early on about my foot thing and if they can't handle it or are not willing to try it. On to the next one.

see now i tell girls about my tickling fetish early on but not my foot one!

back to the topic....

tbh dude, its just the same for some real heavy metal nut who goes to rock concerts every 2 months with his gf.....u just gta be patient...

"Good things come to those who wait"

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Converting someone to your way of thinking can be done. But like, Rome wasn't built in a day. It takes time and patience.

Sexual habits do change over time. In a few years, you might have a taste for doing things differently than you do now. People evolve.

Think long term.

 

[Vae]

I agree with Knox here. As far as the whole tickling thing goes, I'll tell you how well subduing urges works: not one fucking bit. As your past relationship took time to develop, the next beauty will as well. Tickling is not a hard fetish to satisfy and frankly, it's one of the easier ones to handle.

I'm in the honesty boat. If you meet someone new and it's going great, let sex come into the picture naturally and just come out with it. It's VERY hard and it took me a lot of nerve to do it myself, but it saves a lot of headaches and heartaches later down the road. You'll know very quickly how closed-minded someone else.

And remember to ask yourself: if she's closed-minded by a basic human interaction, what the hell else is she going to be closed-minded about?

I apologize deeply for what happened, but sometimes, things turn out that way. Hopefully, it will have turned out that way for the better.

 

[DEEPSHOTONE]

My .02 cents... Sorry to hear about your break up. Im sure she had her reasons, but I get the feeling they had nothing to do with you or this fetish. If it did, she would have never enduldge in the fetish at all. Second, never try to surpress your fetish. It wont work. What ever someone is attracted "to", they will always be attracted "to". IE.. blonds, d-cups, hard bodies or what ever. It would be like trying to turn a gay person straight; its not going to happen. You are who you are, you like what you like and its not going to change. As for holding out for your perfect "lee", if you find her, great. But if you find 80% of what your looking for, consider it a victory and a blessing. When you decide to get back into the dating game, dont keep the fetish a secret. Im not saying you have to tell her on the first date, but before it gets too deep, you need to let your partner know. It will only make things eaiser and she'll have a lot more respect for you. All of us on this forum share your pain. Tickling is important to all us. Just dont forget about the rest of the relationship.

 

[WorkInProgress]

Sorry to hear you got hurt, my friend. My suggestion would be, don't try to control the things you can't control, and predict the things you can't predict. Let the healing process from this painful breakup run its course, and when another relationship comes along, deal with it as it is. See if you have the combination of emotional intimacy and the potential for satisfying sexual intimacy, with tickling playing whatever role it will play. It's useless to try to second-guess yourself in future situations, and conscious efforts to get rid of a fetish just won't work. Wait till the real relationship comes along and see what your needs are there; don't plan for the hypothetical one.

 

[TickVix]

So sorry to hear about your breakup. I think you should just live your life and whoever you meet down the line just express your interest to them, but gradually and explain to them what it means to you. I think everyone in the world has some type of sexual interest so who knows, she may have a similar fetish to yours. As far fetched as that may sound, trust me it can happen for I should know 🙂.

 

[dstrbd]

Thanks for the responses everybody. Just trying to keep my head up and hope that the right one finds me at some point. 🙂

 

[Master feathers]

Sorry to hear about your recent breakup ....I know it hurts ,but you were correct in saying ,that in time .another will come into your life .....now allow me to address what you said ,concerning your feelings about possibly not finding another woman who will indulge your tickle fetish ......I have been married some 35 years now and although my partner has on occasion indulged my fetish for tickling ,sex alone does not make a relationship ....be that so called "vanilla sex "or otherwise ......it might be hard for you to understand at this stage of your life ,that a solid relationship requires not only trust and caring but a willingness on both parties to work thru the "difficult "times that will inevitably occur .....finding a woman who knows and understands this basic principle will go much further in the long run then just having one who will indulge your personal fetishes ......I am by no means saying ,that sex ,in whatever form ,is not an important component of a solid relationship ,but there are others equally important as I had mentioned .......besides most women if they really wish to please their man and vice versa I might add ,are willing to at least "explore "their significant others'sexual desires ....my advice would be to put your energy into trying to find a good partner without relying on just if she will allow you to tickle her ......as far as you saying you cant enjoy sex without tickling ,I am sure that will change once the "right "woman is found ......good luck either way ....

 

[Mattyyy]

One of the problems with loving someone who is so understanding is that you feel as if you'll never find someone else whos as easy going. But seriously i beleive that the next person that comes along and is gonna be much better but only if you allow them the chance to get to know you. My first gf was so understanding about my foot fetish and when we broke up i took ages to tell another girl about it but since then i've met a few girls who are accepting. I'm sorry for your loss but maybe the best thing to do is stay out of the game for a while til your ready otherwise it'll feel worse. think positive dude 🙂